as required, started using the Crinone...and on the 12th day of using it (out of 15), here comes my period 
So grateful to have been pointed to this thread. I don't want to hijack it, but I need support/need to vent, etc.
It all began when I started bleeding heavily in August 2011. Saw my GYN 6 weeks later and she was shocked at the amount of bleeding; my iron level had dropped to 6.8. So began the rounds of medications and tests and specialists. The bleeding finally stopped on February 1, 2012, and I found the right RE in March. However, she passed me to another RE because she didn't feel confident in doing a laparoscopy to remove my endometriosis/fibroids/irregular lining/whatever else was in there.
Had my surgery on May 1. My endometriosis was at a level of 116 (apparently stage 4 is a level of 40). The RE removed it all, plus my fibroids. Was then diagnosed with complex endometrial hyperplasia with atypia. Went on progesterone for 3 months to try to shed the lining, then had a D&C in September.
Now, all this time, we were told we HAVE to have a baby as soon as it was all done, and that all my bloodwork and ultrasounds and MRIs showed that everything was open and we should have no problems, except for the fact that we were both 38 as of late July and early August (that seems to be the ONLY block we're up against). So the RE finished up all the surgeries and sent me back to the previous RE, but now he said, "You have to begin IVF immediately" and would only say "you're 38." So we went back to the other RE and she finally explained everything that the surgeon had found, but said that she didn't see any reason why it couldn't happen naturally. I chart temp and mucus, and everything is normal...I use the "smiley face" ovulation test preferred by the RE's office...my bloodwork shows that all hormone levels are completely normal...ultrasound around ovulation shows follicles. Not to mention that we went to the IVF seminar and we're floored by the fees. Even if insurance pays for some of it, we can't afford the "above and beyond"...and our insurance will not pay for prenatal care if a pregnancy results from ART.
So here we are...we were going to try in October, but the RE insisted DH have a semen analysis that required "no sexual activity for 4-5 days;" my positive ovulation came during that time. So we missed that window. We tried in November...our timing was PERFECT, my period was late, and I had all the early symptoms. Then one evening, I started feeling achy in my abdomen - not painful, just heavy and achy. 2 hours later, I passed a lot of tissue (sorry if TMI) and the ache went away (I continued to bleed, but it was like a normal period). This was a Friday night; I spoke to my nurse on Monday morning, and she felt that we conceived but I wasn't able to implant. The RE agreed with her and they ordered Crinone for me, since maybe I'm just low on progesterone. So here comes December...got my positive ovulation (and the other symptoms), did the
I'm sorry this is so long, but I feel so hopeless. I know it's only technically been 2 months and it takes longer when you're over 35, but the doctors won't let us take time. We absolutely cannot afford IVF and they don't seem to get that. Something just isn't connecting in there and I don't know if there's something else we should be doing to try to help it along. DH is so supportive...all I can say to him is "I'm sorry I'm broken."
Sorry so long...
Your not "broken" your just at a stand still which is the hardest part.
It took us 10 years many surgeries, miscarriages and lots of crying and prayers.
We lost friends over not getting pregnant because they thought we should just give up and get on with it. Heck I lost a group of women right here on the Dis that were supposed to be "family" and threw me under the bus because I was such a downer or a drama queen, meanwhile they all had their families.
They still travel on a group of brooms so duck.
Keep your eye on the prize and your husband...many hugs.
You are welcome here!
mrsklamc said:
. I've been searching for infertility support groups in my area and coming up with nothing, except for one that meets once per month in May, June, and July (yeah, that's helpful...) On a side note, I had to laugh when searching for these groups and for some reason, I was getting results for animal hospitals 
Thank you all for the welcome and
I think I lost a friend of 20 years because of all this. She became pregnant with her second son when I was diagnosed...her response to my news was to send me 50 photos of her ultrasound. I am genuinely happy for her; a baby is never bad news, but it hurt because she never talked about anything else. Never asked me if I had news, it was all about her pregnancy and what she was feeling and sending me photos. She hasn't spoken to me in 2 months now, since the baby was born.
I often try to think of a friend of my mom's who tried for a baby for years, visited specialists, etc. and finally gave up in her mid-thirties. She and her husband didn't actively try, but they didn't try to prevent it either, for many years. Then she turned 40 and suddenly, she was pregnant. Two years later, a second daughter followed. So I'm trying to tell myself, hey, maybe the message just isn't getting there yet...one of these days, my parts will wake up and say, "Oh, yeah, I'm supposed to be pregnant, let's get that going."
DH and I are also still trying to figure out why the RE who did the surgery is making such a big deal of my age. I do know that fertility declines over time, but he made it sound like it was a sudden thing based on my birthday. In May, when I was still 37, he kept saying, "You're still young, you have time, you'll have no problems." But 2 months later, after my birthday in July, it was "You're 38 now, your chances aren't great." I finally got so fed up with hearing about my age that I sarcastically asked, "Is there a fertility dimmer switch somewhere? Is God sitting at a big control panel and when a woman hits 38, He says, 'Oh, she's 38, better turn this down now'?" (the doctor was not amused by that, but DH was...)
I know I sound very bitter and angry. Again...I'm sorry about that...I just can't figure out why the story suddenly changed with him. I did get the feeling that while he was a good doctor ("America's Top Doctors" awards everywhere, and he did do a laparoscopy instead of completely opening me up), he was all about the money and that's why he pushed IVF.
Hugs!!!!!!
You can PM me as well.
apirateslifeforme said:Thank you all for the welcome and
I think I lost a friend of 20 years because of all this. She became pregnant with her second son when I was diagnosed...her response to my news was to send me 50 photos of her ultrasound. I am genuinely happy for her; a baby is never bad news, but it hurt because she never talked about anything else. Never asked me if I had news, it was all about her pregnancy and what she was feeling and sending me photos. She hasn't spoken to me in 2 months now, since the baby was born.
I often try to think of a friend of my mom's who tried for a baby for years, visited specialists, etc. and finally gave up in her mid-thirties. She and her husband didn't actively try, but they didn't try to prevent it either, for many years. Then she turned 40 and suddenly, she was pregnant. Two years later, a second daughter followed. So I'm trying to tell myself, hey, maybe the message just isn't getting there yet...one of these days, my parts will wake up and say, "Oh, yeah, I'm supposed to be pregnant, let's get that going."
DH and I are also still trying to figure out why the RE who did the surgery is making such a big deal of my age. I do know that fertility declines over time, but he made it sound like it was a sudden thing based on my birthday. In May, when I was still 37, he kept saying, "You're still young, you have time, you'll have no problems." But 2 months later, after my birthday in July, it was "You're 38 now, your chances aren't great." I finally got so fed up with hearing about my age that I sarcastically asked, "Is there a fertility dimmer switch somewhere? Is God sitting at a big control panel and when a woman hits 38, He says, 'Oh, she's 38, better turn this down now'?" (the doctor was not amused by that, but DH was...)
I know I sound very bitter and angry. Again...I'm sorry about that...I just can't figure out why the story suddenly changed with him. I did get the feeling that while he was a good doctor ("America's Top Doctors" awards everywhere, and he did do a laparoscopy instead of completely opening me up), he was all about the money and that's why he pushed IVF.
