trying 2 hold it together

[alohacousin]

I just need to vent, When we started this school year I was determined to change a school who had never had medically fragile-nonambulatory-nonverbal-mr type students before. I knew with my help that we could see change and then other families within the school district would come back. Kelsey received a fmd spec ed teacher who was hired to be her assistant. This was only her 2nd yr teaching and was enthusiastic to work with us. We talked on the phone outside of class getting so excited of all the new ideas to try with Kelsey. I helped the resource director start a support group for families. I brought in toys for the special education room as the funding was low. But now I see the school system for what it is. They don't want me walking my daughter to class but I do anyway. I believe they have told the assistant to not to socialize with me. She doesn't say much anymore but always has a nice concere smile almost like she wants to say something. We had an agreement she would call me when out so if kelsey was border line seizures i would keep her home. She had always called me in the past. But yesterday she did not and the principal was waiting for me at the front door.
I had complained to the state about kelsey's rights being violated at the school when the teachers at dismissal could see the handicapped spaces being misused and looked the other way.I only went that far when my complaints started small but were ignored. I feel as if my daughter is an obligation to the district nothing more and they want to hush us up. Am I wrong? I don't know if I should stick it out at this school, go to a school with more special students, or home school. I am so depressed....can anyone relate?

 

[teri]

Sounds like it is time for a meeting. You need to get some things straight with the teachers and principal about when it is appropriate for them to call you, and you shoudl also express your concerns to the Director of Special Education. Do you have an advocate?

{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

 

[emmy]

Hugs to you! I agree with Teri, it is time for a meeting to make sure everyone is on the same page.Also an advocate was the best thing we ever did!
How are the classrooom teachers? Does she like it at this school? I guess these questions would be my deciding point on wether to push harder here or start looking for a better situation for her.
I can hear your frustration and understand your feeling that your child is only an obligation to them - we actually felt very similiar and it is such a heartbreaking place to be! So sending more hugs and good wishes, you will know the right thing to do!

 

[SueM in MN]

This is really sad.
I agree that you need an advocate. The things that you are asking for are NOT unreasonable. You may also find that including other school district people helps you find some who are supportive.
I have had a similar experience (almost 10 years ago, but it still applies). And, when you see how mcuh detail I still remember about it, you can see it still hurts and makes me mad.
When we moved to our current area, DD was in Early Childhood, which was in a learning center in our school district. My other Dd was in the local elementary school. My older DD's teachers had seen younger DD and were very welcoming about "when she comes here". Then we had a pre-transfer meeting with the principal and the district special ed coordinator (SEC) . The principal was just nasty about stuff; like the building was 2 stories and he said "when your DD gets to third grade, you will need to change schools because all the 3rd grade classrooms are upstairs." The SEC just looked at him and said, "When that time comes, we can move things around and have a third grade classroom stay downstairs." The principal's reply was "I'm not doing that. Going upstairs is a big step in growing up for our kids. Keeping a class downstairs would punish a whole classroom because one child can't go upstairs. I'm not doing it." The SE coordinator then said "Excuse me!!! You WILL accomidate this child. If you won't bring a classroom down then we will need to put in an elevator or something, but she will be allowed to stay here." The principal's reply was "I'm not having an elevator put in my school. She will just have to move when she gets to third grade." At that point the SE coordinator excused herself and him and chewed him out. When they came back, she said that the district would support us in whatever we decided. We decided that even though the teachers were welcoming, the principal was a real boob and we did go to a differnt school where the principal was much more reasonable.
Now, if I hadn't had any experience with that school, I might have thought the principal was against my DD. Since I had other experience with him, I knew he was against kids in general. He had all sort of rules (like teachers were not allowed to provide homework for kids who were going on vacation) that the teachers just ignored. The next year, that school did get an elevator and a new principal.
If you decide to go to a different school, someone will eventually fight to do what you tried to do. You don't have to be the one to do it. If you deceide to home school, it should be because that's what you want to not, not what you are pushed into doing. Another thing to think about is that you already have a child who needs a lot of care. If you are also providing schooling, you are likely to get burnt out. If you do it (or even if you don't), be sure to arrange for some respite.
What ever you decide to do, good luck.

 

[kbeverina]

Sue, that's terrible! I can see why it would be so hurtful, especially the excuse. My daughter has a child in her class who needs a wheelchair and they moved her room from the Kindergarten area, which is down a set of stairs, to the opposite side of the building where there are ramps. She's in the 2nd and 3rd grade hall, no big deal.

 

[SueM in MN]

To quote Buzz Lightyear, he was a "sad, strange little man."
I just wanted to let alohacousin know that there are other people like she's run into and that it's not always a bias against our special needs kids. Some of them don't like humans of any kind and really should not be out in a job where they have contact with the public.

 

[s&k'smom]

Get an advocate for that meeting. It's too bad but unfortunately sometimes schools do act like that. I'm so sorry alohacousin you had a hard time. One thing that I do is keep a log on all my dealings with the school good and bad. Date and time and what was said etc. This comes in very handy, plus it helps me to keep things straight because I get so emotional. Lots of pixie dust to you and your DD.