True Confessions . . . The Full Story

[chrisw127]

DAY 1
ROAD TRIP​

Two months ago, I scoured many Disney related websites in search of a list that would help me get ready for our trip. TheMouseForLess.com provided the most thorough guidance with its ULTIMATE DISNEY PACKING LIST. Since then I have acquired, organized and packed all the items that it said I must have.

The suitcases have been sitting in DS6’s room for at least a month, waiting to be loaded into our minivan. I thought my diligent preparation would eliminate the frantic running-around that happens at the last minute. But here we are--the day we plan to leave--and there is still so much to be done!

My children have a medical condition that requires them to be on a restricted diet. This complicates our departure considerably. Since I can’t risk getting to Orlando and not finding their approved foods, we have to gather our groceries prior to leaving. Unfortunately, almost everything my children eat is perishable, so virtually none of these food items can be purchased or packed ahead of time. This leaves much work for us to do on the last day.

My husband seems to be dragging his feet. I know that he is excited to take this trip, but his attitude can resemble Grumpy’s when it is time to load the vehicle. I understand that it is particularly laborious, but I am so anxious to get going that his difficult manner is irritating me beyond description. Doesn’t he know that going to Disney invokes blissful joy that overcomes all other dislikes? His apparent lack of understanding this basic principle somehow renders me incapable of entering this gleeful state myself. His contagious cranky spirit is stealing my happiness, and this irritates me further as I acknowledge the hypocrisy of being irritated by someone else’s inability to overcome irritation. I find myself in a vicious downward spiral at this point that drags me into the dark recesses that hide in every NDM’s mind.

Once packed, we have to make a 13-hour trip in one big drive straight through the night to reach our destination. I am a little anxious about having to make this drive because I know that DH will not be much help when I am ready to occupy the passenger seat. He is incapable of driving for more than an hour or two at a time. He gets road hypnosis or something and goes right to sleep, and it scares the snot out of me since he could kill us all. This obviously means that the brunt of the journey falls to me, and I find myself getting more irritated as I think about my impending duty as primary driver.

I was hoping to feed the kids, clean up from dinner and get on the road by 7 pm so that I could get a good portion of the trip covered by the time sleepiness hits me. But DH's horrid attitude is prolonging the process to an extent that makes me want to pull my hair out.

We finally get in the car about 9:30 pm and pull out of the driveway. DH then tells me we have to stop at Walmart to get some more last minute things. I am not amused. After our stop at Walmart, we finally begin our trip at 10:30 pm . . . 3 1/2 hours behind schedule! This is not a good start, and I empathize with Rabbit who is constantly unnerved when the other characters in The Hundred Acre Wood foil his best laid plans.

DH offers to start the drive. I turn him down because I know that I will have to take over for him within the hour, and that would only further frustrate me. Also, I know that my current inner-turmoil will serve us well as I tend to drive a little faster when I am cranky.

So off we go. I am conquering the road at an exciting pace. DH promptly falls asleep. DD8, DS6, and DD3 are squished but quiet and content as they watch a movie together from the lone, bench seat of our van.

DD8 is crammed up against the side of the van because the two car seats of her siblings occupy the vast majority of the bench seat. At one point DD8 whines a little about being uncomfortable. Even though her frustration is valid, she is barked at by her lunatic mom, who has not yet relinquished grudges against the vacation-menacing dad. "I don't want to hear one syllable of complaint,” I exclaim. “I am working a job for the sole purpose of financing these wonderful Disney vacations, and being cramped in the car is the only way we can get there. If I hear even one whimper of complaining--so help me--the
complainer will not go on any Disney trips in future years. He or she will stay home with Grandma because only happy people are allowed in Disney World!" In my mind, I am fully aware that if this were entirely true, I would be the first one eliminated right now. But being the NDM that I am I tend to say these hypocritical and guilt-inducing things in times of high stress. My empty threat works, and there are no complaints henceforth.

Once the movie is over, it is time to turn off the TV and allow my sweet offspring to dream away the miles between our blissful Disney destination and us. Since the car’s sound system is no longer occupied by the screen-play of “Treasure Planet,” I put on music and keep blazing a trail on the interstate.

As I immerse myself in the consuming world of radio, I begin to sing away my frustration over the challenging start to our trip. Slowly, all becomes right again. With each note I gradually evolve into the compassionate, loving, comforting, fun-filled, doting wife and mother that I usually am. So I continue to sing with a smile as I think about my now inevitable arrival in Florida . . . if I can just get through this drive.

Apparently, I hit some kind of groove and find myself driving without the faintest sign of impending exhaustion. The states go by, and I am still going strong. Around 6:30 am, I begin to feel a slight inkling of reduction in energy and my vocal chords are hoarse from the relentless abuse of an eight-hour singing marathon.

I am truly pleased as I acknowledge my Walt Disney World® driving record. I have taken us from central VA past the FL border and somehow shaved two hours off of our trip. With this badge of honor worn proudly on my sleeve, I relinquish the wheel to DH who awakes and is in awe of me. I smugly tell him that I can take the wheel back should he tire in an hour. He smirks at my snootiness and assures me that he is capable of handling the remainder of the drive.
As I snuggle into the passenger seat, my slight reduction of energy becomes complete exhaustion. I happily go comatose in an uncomfortable, upright position, knowing that in a few hours I will wake up at my friend's house in Kissimmee, and I will be only one day away from arriving at Walt Disney World®.

I'm the same way. There's nothing I enjoy more than rubbing it in to my dear, lame-o husband (who also can't drive more than an hour without falling asleep) that I've once again gotten us to our destination.

Love your TR!

 

[NDM#1]

MAFIA IN THE MAGIC KINGDOM​

Mission accomplished. By the time our bus pulls up at the Magic Kingdom®, I successfully put aside my dissatisfaction with DH and move on. Our family unit is emotionally united once again and proceeds toward the security tables and ticket turnstiles.

Once we have been approved at all checkpoints, we are free to enter the Magic Kingdom®. The excitement begins the moment we pass under the Walt Disney World® Railroad station. Posters advertising different rides in the park catch the attention of my little adventurers. DD3 screams loudly, “Look, Mom! There is a picture with the ghosts. Look! There is a picture with the tea cups! Look! There is a picture with the jungle animals!” I can’t contain my laughter. I remember feeling the same elation at 3 years old when I saw those posters, and her reaction to them makes me feel that age again.

We emerge from the underpass onto Main Street, U.S.A.®. All the children gasp at its beauty, for it gives the feeling of having entered utopia. The index fingers on three separate hands point in all directions, vying for the attention of our group. But no one’s enthusiasm matches that of DD3 who is yelling out the names of everything she sees of interest. “BALLOONS! FLOWERS! PLUTO! JIMINY CRICKET! PIANO! ICE CREAM!” I cannot take my eyes off of her. Her giddiness is contagious, and I feel so full of joy. This must be spilling over to others around us. I look at other guests in our vicinity. As DD3 continues to yell, it catches their attention. Once they settle their eyes on her and see the magical world she has discovered, they smile and laugh too.

Soon the greatest Magic Kingdom® icon comes into view. “IT’S CINDERELLA’S CASTLE!!!” DD3 can hardly contain herself, and I briefly fear she may faint. “DD3, would you like to walk near the castle,” I ask. “Yes! Yes! Yes,” she cries.

During my Disney investigation for this trip, I was advised that the best strategy for parents with young children was to pass by the castle and go straight to Fantasyland®. Children are at their best early in the morning so they can enjoy these rides before the noon-time “crankies” hit them. Also, the lines are minimal at this time, so you can get on all these rides within a few hours. So the plan is to head straight for Dumbo The Flying Elephant, DD3’s ride of choice. Then we are to go to Peter Pan’s Flight. After that the remaining Fantasyland® attractions can be done in any order.

We speed-walk towards the castle and around its sky-scraping turrets. DD3 gawks at its towering presence, but she is now anxious to see what lies behind it.

Fantasyland® appears and more gasps are heard as all the children take in the sights of whirling elephants, prancing carousel horses, colorful banners and storybook buildings. A little girl from Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique, dressed in a princess costume with an immovable hair style and glittering make-up, passes in front of us. “Oh, Mommy, it’s a princess,” DD3 says in an awe-struck whisper. I grab her up into my arms, hug her tightly, kiss her cheek and nuzzle her. “You are MY princess,” I remind her affectionately.

We continue on our path toward Dumbo The Flying Elephant when we are abruptly halted by a husky, bald, Italian New Yorker. He points to DS6 and says in an accent reminiscent of the Godfather, “Hey you! We’ve been looking for you!” DS6 looks panicked and doesn’t know what he has done to warrant this search. The hefty mobster, whose name-tag says Edward, pulls out his walkie-talkie. “Yeah! I found him. The kid with the pirate shirt that you been looking for is right here. I got him.” DS6 looks bewildered. Yes, he has made some mistakes in childhood, but—surely--he is not deserving of being whacked by the mafia. “Follow me,” Edward commands in an intimidating voice. DS6 looks to me for guidance. I gesture that he should be obedient and reassure him that we will all be right behind him.

We trail Edward to a sword stuck in an anvil. DS6’s eyes are wide in disbelief. He was unaware that executions were performed in the Magic Kingdom®. Is this the end for him? He looks to me for clarity, but Edward’s commanding voice draws his attention. “This sword in the stone, here, needs to be pulled out. Now, we haven’t been able to find anyone who can do it, but we think you might be able to. With your tough pirate shirt and all, you seem to be a strong, young man. Do you think you can do this?”

DS6 appears confused. Why would the mafia need the assistance of a 6 year-old boy? DS6 looks to me for a translation. I explain, “DS6, do you remember watching ‘Sword in the Stone’?” He nods. “This sword is just like the one in the movie,” I continue, “Do you remember how ONLY Arthur was able to pull out the sword in the movie?” He nods again. “Well, this man is looking for the ONLY person here who can pull this sword out. He thinks it might be you, and he wants you to try.”

The light bulb goes on in DS6’s head. He now understands what is being asked of him and lets Edward know that he, indeed, is the man for this job. Countless hours of gymnastic lessons have increased his muscle mass exponentially, and DS6 frequently takes pleasure in performing feats of great strength. He now sees that all of his previous hard work has prepared him for this moment of destiny.

DS6 pushes up his short sleeves to display his bulging biceps for the crowd that has begun to gather around him. He places his hands on the silver handle of the piercing weapon and strains to release it from its confinement in the anvil. Edward’s hairless scalp perspires as his nerves are wracked with the suspense of the moment. Slowly the sword gives way until, finally, DS6 has accomplished what he set out to do.

Edward calls on the crowd to give DS6 a round of applause. Everyone explodes into loud cheers and shrill whistles. Edward turns to DS6 and assures him that he has shown himself to be of noble character by completing this task. The hefty, bald man then places a wand on DS6’s shoulders and knights him as “Prince of the Day.” DS6 then receives a sticker-badge, proclaiming this honor to all who look upon his t-shirt.

DS6 is ready to descend from the platform and rejoin his anxious little sister who is now pulling on my arm and pleading, “Mommy, we have to go to Dumbo right now!” But as he begins to leave, Edward calls out, “I’m not done wit’ you yet.” DS6 returns to Edward’s side, and Edward gives him a certificate to commemorate his achievement. DS6 thanks him and readies to exit. Edward once again calls out, “I’m not done wit’ you yet.” DS6 returns again, and Edward presents him with the official photo of Alice and The Mad Hatter. DS6 thanks him again and attempts to leave again. “Hey,” Edward bellows, “I ain’t done wit’ you yet!” DS6 crinkles his eyebrows in annoyance but returns to Edward’s side. Edward pulls out a small bottle and blows bubbles all around DS6. DS6 now crinkles his nose along with his eyebrows as bubbles envelope him. He looks to the bald man for permission to leave, but Edward still insists that he hasn’t finished, so DS6 stays put. He is then given a golden ticket that takes him to the front of any one line of his choosing.

DS6 wisely hands the ticket over to me for safe-keeping. Edward asks him if he will use his pass for his first ride. DS6 looks uncertain, so I answer for him. I explain that we will most likely save the pass for the long line of Splash Mountain® but, right now, we need to hurry because Dumbo The Flying Elephant is our first destination and the line is building as we speak.

DD3, who has not stopped begging for permission to board the Dumbo ride, is now dragging me in the direction of the flying pachyderms. She cannot be put off another second. Edward seems a little disappointed that he will not witness our prince using his pass, but the better plan of saving it for a more opportune time stands.

We thank Edward profusely for the grand memory he has bestowed upon us as well as his time-saving golden ticket. Then we pack away all our new treasures and make tracks to the Dumbo ride.

As we walk, I become aware of a stalking presence behind us. I turn to find a troubled Edward deep in thought. “Ya know,” he says as he comes out of his intense consideration, “I’m gonna get you to the front of that Dumbo line, and you can still keep your pass. ‘The ‘Prince of the Day’ waits for no one, so you just come wit’ me.”

DD3 and DD8 cannot believe their luck. Their brother is “Prince of the Day,” which makes them princesses by association. And now the royal benefits begin with a direct entrance to our first ride.

We walk past the queque line that has piled up to a surprising length in such a short period. Edward deposits us within the designated exit area and calls to the operator of the attraction. “These are my friends,” he tells the Fantasyland® wench, “We have the ‘Prince of the Day’ here and his two princess sisters. They are to get on this ride the next time around because the ‘Prince of the Day’ waits for no one.” The lady smiles kindly in DS6’s direction and curtsies out of respect for His Majesty. DS6 blushes because of her exclusive attentions and hides behind DD8 and DD3.

 

[NDM#1]

You've got my attention

count me in

Yeah! A reader! I'd love to have your feedback as we go along.

 

[NDM#1]

I'm the same way. There's nothing I enjoy more than rubbing it in to my dear, lame-o husband (who also can't drive more than an hour without falling asleep) that I've once again gotten us to our destination.

Love your TR!

LOL! A kindred spirit! Thanks for your comment. It is encouraging to find others who "get it."

 

[NDM#1]

HARD-KNOCK LIFE LESSONS​

Within a minute, DD8, DS6, DD3 and I climb onto the backs of two Dumbo carts. DH sets up in a spot outside of the gate to capture the certain-to-be-unforgettable video footage.

Our elephants soar, and DD3 squeals with delight. I witness the highlight of her lifetime as we rotate around Timothy Mouse perched on a circus ball. I look for the elephant hosting my other two circus performers. Once spotted, I see that DD8 and DS6 are looking at each other and laughing with great gusto. I take out my camera and manage to snap a fantastic photo of the castle from my elevated vantage point. We have not been here long, but this is shaping up to be a terrific day.

The elephants land gently, and DD3 exclaims, “I want to ride that again!” I try to explain that we may come back to it later, but we will not ride it again right now. She protests, but I explain that Peter Pan’s boat is waiting for us. She allows me to coax her from the grey, circus animal and be escorted to the next ride.

The whole family enjoys a pleasant trip across the skies of London and Neverland with Peter and his dedicated troop. DD3 once again cannot believe her eyes and thrills over the sight of Tinkerbell, pirates, mermaids and crocodiles. When our boat comes to rest safely on the moving platform, DD3 cries, “I want to ride that again!” I assure her that there is more fun to be had on other rides, so we must go. She doesn’t believe me and insists that we must stay on the boat for another time around the suspended track. But I point out that there is a ride operator, quickly approaching, who will demand that we get off. She surrenders to this fate and scrambles out of the boat.

“It’s a small world” is the next logical choice since its placement is closest. DH volunteers to skip this insanely repetitive ride and get FastPasses to Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. He plans to meet us when we exit the attraction. I agree that this is a good plan, and we go our separate ways.

In the boat, DD3’s eyes glimmer in expectation. The boat lurches forward and my world travelers yell, “Whoa!” Once we are immersed in the international community of singing dolls, my brood joins in the musical festivities by singing along. I look at DD3. Undoubtedly, there is no other child of happier countenance at this very moment.

Nearing the end, our floating vehicle approaches the area where we first boarded. DD3 gleefully laughs, “I want to ride that again.” I give her the same reasoning for moving on as I have on the previous rides, and her broad smile turns to a threatening scowl.

When our boat finally halts next to the exiting platform, DD8 and DS6 happily jump from the ship onto the platform, eager to find DH and board the next ride. I turn to DD3 so I can assist her in climbing from the boat, but she is unwilling to take my hand. “DD3,” I express, “it is time to get out now. Our turn is over. The people standing next to you are waiting for their turn.” This rationale does not persuade DD3. She will no longer be denied her second time around. She wants to sing along with her new, ethnic friends once more, and she fully intends to do it. “DD3,” I call to her in a very firm voice. She glares at me defiantly and crosses her arms while roots sprout from her small derriere into the seat. An invisible battle line has been drawn. Fellow park guests and cast members alike watch to see what my next move will be.

Since it is her first time in the Magic Kingdom®, DD3 has not yet learned the fourth tenet of The Sacred Seven: Thou shalt not repeat a ride until each one has been experienced.

Many months of analysis have led to a carefully devised strategy for completing all desired activities during our few hours of Magic Kingdom® bliss. This strategy does not include repeating the same experience over and over. If rides were to be repeated according to whim, there might be rides left at the end of the day that were never enjoyed. DD3 is short-sighted with her willingness to be dictated by momentary desires. Her rationale that the Magic Kingdom® gives pleasure in an unorganized fashion--that one can enjoy the magic as it just happens to present itself--is flawed. One must plan for it, seek it out and adhere to the schedule! DD3 is naïve in her approach to taking on a Disney theme park as well as insensitive to the others in line behind her, but she is about to be schooled.

Being left with no alternative, I pass my camera to DS6 and backpack to DD8. I then swoop down upon DD3 and uproot her from her plantation. She is slightly stunned as I swing her over my shoulder and hike up the ramp, out of the building and into the blinding light.

Tears begin to stream down her cheeks. Her heart is broken. Her pride is crushed. She sobs her story to DH, who greets us in our designated meeting spot. DH sympathizes with DD3 but firmly says that disobedience is not allowed . . . especially not in Walt Disney World®. If she wants to continue to have fun in the Magic Kingdom®, she will have to abide by the rules and get off the rides when our turn is over. People who don’t follow Disney rules, he relays, are taken to Disney jail. I echo this truth and tell a story about my good friend in middle school who was taken to Disney jail and banned from the park when she and a pal trespassed into an area that was off-limits.

The story makes an impact. Although the thought of Disney jail sounds like it might be fun, all three mouseketeers shrink back in horror at the thought of being banned from the park. DD3 counts herself lucky to not have been served such consequences for her recent rebellion and commits to better behavior in the future. We make our way around Fantasyland® without further difficulty and decide it is time to brave the two mountains in Frontierland®.

 

[spokanemom]

Yeah! A reader! I'd love to have your feedback as we go along.

You have more than one reader! I am now late for work, thanks... I love your writing style and I still have the print out of the submission that you posted for all of us to read. I am glad to have more from you to read. What a fantastic tale of Disney World wonderment!

 

[NDM#1]

TALES FROM THE BRIAR PATCH​

Finally coming of age for these rides, DD8 and DS6 realize that potential thrill brings excitement but also trepidation. However, DD8 and DS6 have been informed of the fifth tenet in The Sacred Seven: Thou shalt not reject a ride until it has been personally experienced. They have also gone through intense training to ease the shock of their upcoming mountain expeditions. We have discussed these upcoming events over numerous dinners. They know what to expect. They have practically memorized the tracks from months and months of viewing runs of the mountains on You Tube. This has provided all the preparation one could hope for.

Splash Mountain® is first. DH and I have to take turns riding because DD3 does not meet the height requirement and must be chaperoned while everyone else rides. So DS6 and I hastily run to the entrance with his golden ticket, leaving the others at The Laughing Place playground.

DS6 likes the ride, but with each approaching waterfall I can see tremendous apprehension. He consistently blurts out, “Is this it? Is this the ‘big one’?” I encourage him to simply enjoy himself and all the friendly animatronics around us, but he is unable to relax entirely as the inevitable five-story drop looms in his future.

We reach the long incline that takes us to the precipice of the watery mountain. As we jiggle our way up to the top, DS6 looks a little frantic. I counsel him to just hold his breath, brace his feet and grip the bar as tight as he can. I also remind him that I will hold on to him fiercely, and we will safely arrive at the bottom of the Briar Patch in a few short seconds.

As we plummet down the waterfall, I am exhilarated by the adrenaline rush. I do find it a little more terror-inducing since holding my son leaves me with only one hand to grip our log. But it is still the great experience that it always is, and I feel blessed to be the one to induct DS6 into the Splash Mountain® Riding Club.

DS6 is shaking from the frightful sensation of falling from such a height. “Wasn’t that fun,” I exclaim. DS6 looks doubtful and refuses to answer the question. “Later on, would you like to do it again,” I ask. DS6 responds quickly with, “No.” He is taking no chances that hesitation will land him in another Briar Boat.

As we get off the ride and head towards our unsuspecting family, I convince DS6 to not reveal his true feelings to DD8 until she has visited the Briar Patch herself. He agrees to hold this temporary confidence and stumbles beside me, trying to shake off his jelly-like limbs.

DH sees us coming from a distance. I signal to him to take DD8 and get in line before she sees DS6. He lays eyes on DS6, who has not fully recovered from his engagement with Brer Rabbit. He understands, takes DD8 in hand and exits. I have sighted DD3 on the playground slide, so DS6 and I join her in The Laughing Place.

Much to my astonishment, no one is laughing in The Laughing Place. DS6 is now trying to hold back tears. My Brer Bear-like hug during our plummet has crinkled his “Prince of the Day” sticker-badge, and the water has made the corners curl up. DD3 is succumbing to the misery of being left behind in a hot, plastic playground and is close to crying as well. How is this possible? There is no unhappiness in the “happiest place on Earth.” Something else must be at work here. I check the time, and the answer becomes obvious.

I reach into my backpack and offer my little Brer critters a homemade snack. Then I reach into my backpack and pull out a spare “Prince of the Day” sticker that Edward slipped me in his wisdom and forethought. They find these items to be an appropriate peace offering for making them endure such hardships.

As we munch on our nutritious edibles, DH and DD8 reappear. DD8’s face is splotchy; tears are streaming down her cheeks, and she is whimpering like an abused puppy. I look to DH and venture, “How did it go?” DH replies, “Oh, it went great aside from the terrified, screaming girl that clawed me throughout the whole ride.” Apparently, You Tube has been unsuccessful in helping my thrill-challenged youngins’ embrace the fun of a near-death experience.

I offer DD8 an almond flour muffin in hopes that raising her glucose level will help her to calm down. She accepts, and we all take the moment to breathe and recoup for Big Thunder Mountain Railroad.

A similar strategy is used for Big Thunder Mountain except that this time DS6 and I hold the FastPasses that DH acquired earlier in the morning while we were on “it’s a small world.” DS6 loves the fast-paced, run-away train, so the nightmare of the Brer creatures is quickly replaced with great enthusiasm for mining in haphazard train cars.

When the thrill ends, we rejoin our family and allow DH and DD8 to have their turn. When they reappear, we find another happy miner. DD8 gushes about the great time she had and her hopes to return sometime. Now that two of the four mountains in the Walt Disney World® mountain range have been experienced, I realize that my two eldest have shed half of their Disney mountain virginity. One small tear escapes my eye. They grow up so fast, and I am very proud.

 

[NDM#1]

You have more than one reader! I am now late for work, thanks... I love your writing style and I still have the print out of the submission that you posted for all of us to read. I am glad to have more from you to read. What a fantastic tale of Disney World wonderment!

LOL. Yes, the book idea has expanded past this trip report, so I decided to just go ahead and post the report. Plus, by the time I get a book published (if that happens), the report will be outdated. There seemed little point to withold it anymore.

I tried to add it to the original thread, but that thread got moved to "Completed Trip Reports" and it didn't give me an option of adding anything. So I just started over. Thanks for finding me again .

 

[twinmom]

I was just about to say you should write a book........

 

[addictedtothemouse]

I found you ...again! Now I need to get caught up.

 

[NDM#1]

I was just about to say you should write a book........

Aww! Thanks! If I can find a publisher that feels the same way, I will be over the moon.

 

[NDM#1]

I found you ...again! Now I need to get caught up.

Hooray! I was afraid that I would lose my original crowd when I discovered that I had to repost everything. I hope more of ya'll find me . . . again! LOL.

I've got to attend to some house and kid stuff right now. As much as I love to sit here and post all day long, I can't. But I'll be back to add the rest.

 

[NDM#1]

Found a bit more time, so here we go . . . .

 

[NDM#1]

PLACES FOR POWER NAPS​

Our herd journeys to Adventureland® at this point. This is the last day before Pirates of the Caribbean will close for refurbishment, so covering this area of the park is absolutely necessary.

The Magic Carpets of Aladdin is the first ride we seek out, and we endure the beatings of the punishing sun in the unprotected queque line. It is amusing to teeter-totter on our carpets, but the sweltering sunlight blinds us and beats us as it reflects off the gold camels and shiny metal construction of the exhibit.

The Enchanted Tiki Room is our next destination. The heat is intense at this hour, so DH grabs an infamous Dole Whip to savor as we wait for passage into the exotic aviary. He does this in memory of a great personality on the Dis Unplugged podcast crew, Bob, who has recently passed on into the greatest Kingdom of all. One of Bob’s legacies was his love affair with Disney Dole Whips, and since he is no longer able to indulge in this exceptional sweet, DH obliges to pick-up the tradition. He suffers from “brain freeze” as he downs the icy dessert and realizes that on future trips he will need to approach this new tradition with more caution.

Once we enter the attraction, The Enchanted Tiki Room is received with mixed reactions. DD8 and DS6 find it quite entertaining. DD3 is rather frightened at the appearance of the Tiki goddess. And DH discovers that the cool but tropical room makes for a great power-nap.

The Jungle Cruise is next. To my surprise, my trip around the river is quite entertaining. I basically have the entire Jungle Cruise narration memorized, so the corny jokes delivered on this ride don’t usually amuse me. However, Erin, our skipper, throws in a few of her own, personal zingers, and I find myself snickering as we pass the various jungle antics one encounters on this cruise. When we enter the creepy, ancient temple on the river, Erin sings “It’s A Small World” in morbid, haunting tones, and I think I may keel over because I am laughing so hard.

When we come to the end of our jungle excursion, I sympathize with DD3 and her desire to repeat attractions. I, too, feel like saying, “I want to ride that again,” but a schedule is a schedule. I know deep down that we must press on.

The Swiss Family Treehouse and Pirates of the Caribbean are taken in stride. DD3 now seems to have the hang of entering and exiting attractions with grace and style. And while DD8 and DS6 have selected a few attractions for their “favorites” list, DD3 is not shy about stating that she likes every ride best.

We backtrack through Frontierland® for the Country Bear Jamboree. The children love witnessing this variety show, but DH finds it suits him better as background music for another power-nap.

 

[NDM#1]

THE DEATH OF A DISNEY DREAM​

We now head to Cinderella’s Castle for lunch. On the way, we stop by Mickey’s PhilharMagic in Fantasyland® for FastPasses. A friendly cast member offers to take the FastPasses that we have just withdrawn from the kiosk and swap them for FastPasses to the show that is about to begin. Looking at the time, we see that we can—indeed-- squeeze in an immediate viewing of the 3-D movie before our designated lunchtime.

Once we are in the FastPass line, another chipper cast member selects our harmonious group to be the opening musical act for the show. I am beyond ecstatic that we-once again-have been selected for a special park experience.

This Mickey’s PhilharMagic sweetie leads us to a pile of instruments and asks each family member to select one. Unbeknownst to me, selfishness has overtaken my little band. Quite unexpectedly, I find myself trying to mediate a bitter argument over the possession of the triangle instrument. Meanwhile, I am also trying to communicate to DH—who appears clueless--that he should ready the video camera.

The triangle war reaches a stalemate. No one will relinquish his or her assumed right to the coveted, percussion instrument as the debate escalates. DH cannot hear my video instructions over the children’s raucous, so I find myself yelling to be heard. Pandemonium has broken loose, and the patient, Mickey’s PhilharMagic madam has a helpless expression on her face.

Finally, I decide to get control over this crazy scene. I declare that I will pick the triangle percussionist. DD3 is handed the bongo drums; DS6 is handed the cymbals, and DD8 is awarded the triangle. Such decisive action quiets the troubled percussion section, and DH is now prepared to commence with his recording duties. I turn to the defeated-looking, Mickey’s PhilharMagic cutie and announce that we are now prepared for our debut. She begins to apologize and points to the audience who is moving beyond the place where we were meant to entertain them and entering the viewing area for the spectacular 3-D performance.

I have missed my chance at Disney-wide fame. The green-eyed monster of greed has stolen it right out of my hands, and there is nothing that can be done about it. I cannot believe I have met such a fate in the heart of Walt Disney World® where dreams come true, and I begin to despair.

The Mickey’s PhilharMagic dear tries to comfort me and ease my pain. She offers up a certificate to document our failed attempt as Mickey’s favored instrumentalists, and she awards us another golden front-of-the-line ticket even though we are undeserving. I humbly thank her for her generous gift, and—with a melancholy demeanor--proceed into the theater as a mere audience member rather than the chosen star I was meant to be.

 

[NDM#1]

STAR STRUCK​

Surely, a good meal will brighten my spirits. So after a whirlwind performance by Mickey and all his iconic companions, we head straight to Cinderella’s Royal Table for a banquet.

We pass by the memorable sword in the stone on our way to the Cinderella’s Royal Table. Three teen-age boys are combining their strengths in an attempt to pull the sword from the anvil, but it is in vain. I point in their direction and say to DS6, “See! All those boys are pulling on the sword together, and they still can’t get it out. Only the “Prince of the Day” is able to do it.” DS6 smirks with conceit and sticks out his robust chest as he takes on a manly strut towards our lunch engagement.

Due to the nature of my children’s digestive disorder, I have spent much time prior to our trip corresponding by phone and e-mail with the few chefs that will feed us during our Magic Kingdom® days. All have been given detailed information about our circumstances as well as explicit descriptions of the consequences my children suffer in cases of dietary infractions. Prearranged menus and instructions for food preparation have been documented prior to our arrival, and I have been assured that my children’s health is in good hands.

Our two days in the Magic Kingdom® are the only days of the entire year that my children will actually eat in a restaurant, so this reservation holds more meaning for our family than it does for most others. It is an incredible expense, but since the kids do not eat out at any other time, DH and I rationalize the cost.

My little prince and princesses enter the castle waiting room in awe of its royal décor. I am pleased with their reaction, and I note that they are inspired by the tiniest details of the majestic space without my prompting. They truly are becoming Disney fanatics in their own right. What more could a NDM ask for?

We are ushered to Cinderella’s side for a quick photo-shoot. While the younger nobility of our clan are cute enough for the occasion, DH and I are in no shape for such an event. The indescribable heat and frantic pace of our day has left us looking incredibly haggard. However, for the sake of posterity, we consent to having our unsightly presence contrasted with the flawless princess in a memorable but uncomely photograph.

After that, my prince is given a sword because no prince is complete without one, and my princesses are handed glittering wands. We are then escorted up the royal staircase and into the dining hall.

The room is very regal with crest-bearing banners hanging from the ceiling and large, stained-glass windows. We are seated at a sturdy table and given menus. The children gush over some rubbery “wishing stars” that have been placed at their seats, and I notify the waitress that I need to talk with the chef.

The chef promptly arrives at our table. We briefly recap the details of our prearrangement for the children, order meals for DH and I, and off she goes back into the kitchen.

Soon, our table begins receiving some very special guests . . . all of the Disney princesses. DS6 is not so very interested, although he does enjoy showing them his new sword and honorable “Prince of the Day” sticker. DD3 can hardly retain any sense of propriety, for the excitement of being in the same room as ALL the princesses is more than she can take. But DD8 has managed to adapt the gracefulness that is becoming of nobility. She now displays elegant mannerisms and an air of sophistication that impresses each royale that approaches our dining area.

But where is Belle? DD8 has a specific love for this princess, for Belle and she have a great many things in common. First of all, Belle is the one that has the closest physical resemblance to DD8. But more importantly, Belle is practical while also retaining the ability to dream and imagine a romantic life beyond the one she lives. Belle loves books, and she is extremely intelligent. And DD8 hopes to find her true love one day just as Belle did. Although her NDM prays that DD8 doesn’t have to discover him within a beast.

Belle is the last one to visit with our adoring group. DD8 immediately strikes up a conversation with her so that Belle will understand that they are meant to be kindred spirits. Belle clearly senses the common ground she holds with DD8 and begins a small book group discussion. But before Belle can go very much in depth with her literary analysis, she is called away by the menacing, character manager.

Belle graciously bids farewell to my regal offspring. Then she winks and blows a kiss to DH. I am a little rattled by this unsuspected pass that has been made at DH. So while DD8 regrets seeing her most beloved princess dragged away by other pressing duties, I am grateful that the DH-snatcher has taken leave. After all, Disney is not the only thing that I can be neurotic about.

Suddenly, a grand, trumpeting fanfare fills the room. It grabs the attention of our entire noble family, for we sense that something important is about to take place. Jiminy Cricket’s voice is then broadcast. He announces that it is time to wish upon a star. He petitions all the little princes and princesses in the room to take hold of the rubbery, “wishing star” that was placed at their seat as well as their sword or wand that they were given. Then, he says that they are to hold them up and make a wish.

DD3 is the first one to hold up her wand and star. She closes her eyes as tightly as she can and scrunches her nose, and with great intensity, she releases her wish out into the great expanse of the room. DS6 raises his eyes toward the ceiling and completely extends both of his arms (which also hold his sword and star) towards the sky as if he is receiving a great, spiritual power from on high. DD8 has taken a more cultic approach to this task. She holds her head in one hand as if her massive concentration has now caused a headache. Her “wishing star” is placed in the center of her placemat, and with her other hand, she waves her wand over the star in a circular motion much like a witch stirring her cauldron.

Apparently, all the methods of wishing are successful because the room then explodes into great flashes tempered with tiny, twinkling lights projected above. Also, the delicate sound that pixie dust makes when it falls can be heard.

Our waitress appears with our food just as the last dust particle settles. As we eat, I find I am happily surprised that my meal does taste good. I have consistently seen negative reviews of Cinderella’s Royal Table in relation to its food, so I wasn’t sure what I should expect from this reservation. However, my shepard’s pie—while not being what I would consider “fit for a king”—seems quite adequate for a duke or a duchess.

Once the meal is finished, a quick stop is made to the royal throne of an entirely different nature. The throne room is surprisingly small for such a grand castle, and we have trouble maneuvering around the other nobility in need of evacuating. Perhaps, Cinderella should put this on her list of house projects. With some agility, however, we muddle through the bathroom population and, sadly, say goodbye to the lovely castle.

 

[NDM#1]

THE NDM WAY OR THE HIGHWAY​

It seems it is time to venture to Tom Sawyer Island. I must confess that even though I am a NDM, this small island has only ever held minimal interest for me. It seems that this small plot of land could be better suited as The Lost City of Atlantis or as Tarzan’s Rain Forest. Nevertheless, Tom Sawyer Island it is, and for my little Huck Finns to get the full Magic Kingdom® experience, at least one visit is warranted.

All three troublemakers are anxious to jump on a raft and float to this intriguing place, inspired by Mark Twain. DH is interested as well since I have always made him skip this oasis due to time restrictions. So we hop on a raft with a straw-hat toting river guide, who expertly lands us on the opposite side of the river.

Shockingly, Tom Sawyer Island is enjoyable. We are ahead of schedule at this point. Our golden tickets and FastPasses have put us up in our game, and there is not a pressing need to be somewhere else. I find myself slightly enjoying the lax-a-daisy environment of Tom and Huck’s stomping grounds.

The entire family laughs as we stumble over barrel bridges and explore dark caverns. A fort provides an ideal setting for shooting rifles, and various mills and other buildings give chance for more discoveries. But, inevitably, our jaunting in Dixieland begins to lose its charm, and we grow a bit tired.

A trip around the island on the Liberty Square Riverboat seems like a good idea. So after arriving back on the mainland, we board the huge water vessel. But we discover in the heat of the late afternoon—a time reserved for naps on most days—the big ferry does not provide refreshment.

The kids are increasingly irritable. Their hair is matted with sweat; their cheeks are rosy from their body heat; their eyes and their smiles are drooping. I, myself, can also feel the drag that is expected at this hour.

I recall the advice touted by the wise sage, Bob, on the Dis Unplugged podcast crew. He boldly campaigned for naps when visiting Disney theme parks. In fact, this is another legacy that Bob left behind for all who were willing to take him at his words.

I glance at DD3. She apparently is a firm believer in Bob’s way of thinking. She has unashamedly stuck her thumb in her mouth, laid her head on DH’s shoulder, and left the world of consciousness for another one that will provide her weary body with relief.

I consider that maybe it is time to hang up the gloves and throw in the towel. Maybe we should return to the comfort of our villa. I faintly remember the promise I made to myself on the rickety pier to work relaxation around the demanding Sacred Seven. I also remember that one of the reasons we joined the Disney Vacation Club was to help me release my inbred, “blitzkrieg” ways.

But while a chameleon has the ability to change its colors instantaneously, a NDM does not. In the years ahead, I may reach a point when I won’t mind leaving the Magic Kingdom® for a mid-day nap. But I am not at that point yet. The “blitzkrieg” blood flows true-blue in my veins, and so I stick with what is most familiar. In the end, I rationalize that we must not give in. This would be admitting defeat. There is still fun to be squeezed out of our day at the Magic Kingdom®. We must push through this temporary lull of energy to find our second wind. We must press on!

We seek refuge in the air-conditioned quarters of The Hall of Presidents. DH says he has finally found his favorite attraction. The cool climate, the cushioned seats and the subdued, lengthy show provide the ultimate conditions for a nap. He wastes no time reclining in his seat and pursuing REMs. DD8, DS6, DD3 and I don’t rest to the extent that DH does, but the atmosphere is refreshing enough to restore some of our energy and sustain us a bit more while simultaneously injecting our spirits with a greater sense of patriotism.

 

[NDM#1]

MATURITY AND MEATBALLS​

Renewed, we cautiously approach The Haunted Mansion. So far, the kids have enjoyed the mildly scary rides such as Snow White’s Scary Adventures and Pirates of the Caribbean, but admittedly The Haunted Mansion is a tad more macabre. My little ghostbusters insist that they are up for the experience, though. And since it is still daylight, this may be an ideal time to test these waters.

I carry DD3 during the beginning walk-through. This way she will feel more secure, and it will also keep her from being trampled during the cattle herding that takes place as everyone boards their doom buggies. DD8 and DS6 each take one of DH hands, and I pray that this is enough to keep them from panicking if they get scared.

The ride is quite an experience. DD3 and I have our own doom buggy, and DH has taken the elder spook investigators in the buggy next to ours. In our cart, DD3 is fascinated with all the supernatural happenings she sees. She says that the ghosts are “crazy” or “silly” and laughs at their attempts to frighten her. I take solace in her brave composure because, frankly, I am a little creeped out by the new effects that have been added in the last refurbishment. It’s a good thing that I have someone to make me feel protected in our buggy of doom.

I can’t help but wonder how DD8 is managing this scenario. Of all my children, she is the least adventurous. To top this off, she tends to be a drama queen when something upsets her. If I am internally disturbed by what I see, I can only imagine what DH is dealing with in the doom buggy ahead of us. This may not be pretty.

But shockingly, both my girls emerge from the house of death completely stimulated and giddy over the fun they had. DS6 seems a bit shaken-up, but he puts his best foot forward so as to appear no less courageous than the female persons of our group.

Well, time has flown by. We need to head towards Main Street, U.S.A.® again. Our dinner reservations are at Tony’s Town Square, and I am particularly excited about this destination.

In addition to Tom Sawyer Island, Main Street, U.S.A.® was usually skimmed over during my “blitzkrieg” years. Yet, I came to regret that as I aged. The carefree mood of the street is very appealing, and in my late teens, I began to wish I had more time to look in all of its shops and exhibits. Tony’s Town Square, a Lady and the Tramp-themed Italian Restaurant, specifically drew my attention because of its elegant exterior and interesting location.

While we are waiting for our meals, DH remarks that he should have ordered the spaghetti with meatballs. Then we could share the noodles and he could push a meatball over to my side of the table with his nose just like Tramp does for Lady in the sentimental moment they share. I am touched by this romantic thought, and I am also relieved that his affections still lie with me and not promiscuous princesses who shall remain nameless. As I blush, I playfully elbow him and say, “Not in front of the kids . . .” He flirtatiously winks at me, and I wonder where all this banter may eventually lead.

The food arrives. Over our meal, I engage my ladies and tramp in conversation about our day. I ask them what their favorite exhibition is. DD8 takes a jab at DS6 by saying that his favorite ride is The Haunted Mansion. I guess that DS6’s attempt at appearing fearless failed because DD8, obviously, picked up on her position of superiority in this instance. DS6’s feathers are immediately ruffled, and he answers that DD8’s favorite ride is Splash Mountain® and that she definitely wants to ride again. The hair on DD8 bristles, but DD3 interrupts this increasingly ugly scene with her own declaration that she still likes ALL the rides. I am thankful for the command my littlest lady has taken in our conversation. She has corrected the ungracious intentions of her elder siblings by making the neurotic Disney spirit the focus of our discussion once again. I can’t help but notice that her Disney maturity is advanced for a three-year-old.

We all conclude that our day has been a good one. We covered much more ground than was planned, and now we find that we have a few more hours to do spontaneous activities. It is unanimous that we should venture toward Space Mountain®.

The check is paid, and we wander back out into Main Street, U.S.A.®. A large crowd has gathered at the hub for the “SpectroMagic” Parade. It quickly becomes evident that we will be unable to move our troops and double stroller through the dense sea of people. The only option is for us to try to find a spot where we can enjoy the parade as well.

 

[NDM#1]

MY WILD CHILD​

The parade is about to begin. I chance to see the smallest break in onlookers with prime property right up in front, wedged in between two strollers. There is only enough room for a small child to stand, so I place DD3 there and line DS6 and DD8 single file behind her. DH and I stand a little further back so that we don’t interrupt the view of the adults that staked out their territory before us.

A very kind woman standing near my children offers me her position so that I can be closer to my kids. I decline and tell her that I would never consider allowing this when we have only just arrived. But she insists, stating that she comes to the Magic Kingdom® multiple times a year and has seen this parade more times than she can remember. Given these details, I accept her gift and take my place behind the children.

The parade appears. Instantaneously, DD3 goes crazy with excitement. I thought that I had seen the extent of her frenzied behaviors when we first arrived on Main Street, U.S.A.® that morning and again at Cinderella’s Royal Table. Apparently, I hadn’t even scratched the surface.

As floats pass by, she is simply delirious with delight. She is behaving like a pubescent teen girl at a Jonas’ Brothers rock concert, and her enthusiasm makes the event the most exciting one I have ever been a part of. Once again, her uninhibited expressions are contagious, and I find myself fighting the urge to yell, cheer and wave frantically at the lit characters crossing in front of us.

DD3’s antics are, apparently, noticeable to all. The parents surrounding us seem to take more pleasure in watching DD3 than the more subdued reactions of their own children. Also, due to the spectacle she is creating, many of the parade participants grant DD3 special attentions as they move past her position. Even Prince Charming takes notice of her and blows her a kiss from his dazzling carriage.

At one point, a rather large and intimidating Ursula rolls right up to DD3, looks her in the eye and delivers a wicked speech along with frightening movements. I fear this will be the end of DD3’s enthusiasm and she will want to retreat to a less vulnerable spot for parade viewing. But after Ursula rolls away, DD3 turns around to me and ecstatically proclaims, “Mommy! Ursula talked to me!” I reply, “She did? Did you like it?” She cheerfully screams, “Yes! She was really scary!” She then turns right back around and continues her frenzied, rock-concert behaviors.

By the time the parade ends, I find that all the excitement has left me fairly exhausted. I never expected to expend so much energy by “passively” watching a parade. And, yet, this is the magic that I am blessed with by accompanying my little pixie in the Magic Kingdom® for her first time. I would not trade this for anything.

 

[NDM#1]

ENDING TODAY WITH TOMORROW​

The crowd begins to disperse. DD8 sees her chance to bolt for Space Mountain®. She leads our tired group toward the hypnotic glow of Tommorowland®. Once we arrive, we pull out our undeserved, golden ticket and divide up in the same manner as we have for the other mountain ranges of the Magic Kingdom®. I accompany DS6 while DD8 waits patiently for a turn with DH.

After the ride, DS6 has mixed feelings about his orbit in space. But DD8 completely loves the rush of this ride. Is it possible that they swapped personalities in The Haunted Mansion? It appears that my little boy’s adventurous spirit took up residence in the spirit-friendly mansion, leaving him without much desire to explore new frontiers in space. In contrast, my big girl has turned in her cowardice for thrill-seeking passion. I am a little puzzled by these changes, but I am happy that my timid Piglet is now feeling more along the lines of a Mufasa.

Our space trips are wrapped up, and we find the Wishes™ Nighttime Spectacular fireworks show taking place. Fireworks usually terrify DD3. She completely goes to pieces when the sparkling theatrics appear to shower us with deafening, explosive bangs. So for her sake, we don’t draw undue attention to the lightshow occurring in the near distance. Instead, we take advantage of the diminished population in Tomorrowland® and stand in line for Astro Orbiter, which is enjoyable at night due to the glowing planets that whiz past as you ride.

DH bows out. He is unable to withstand most repetitive, circular rides, so I chaperone all of my space explorers for this attraction alone. My social astronauts make friends with two college girls in front of us, who each offer to take one of my elder kids in a space ship with them so that I can focus on holding onto my littlest space ranger. I find this quite agreeable since the rockets tend to tip at an angle that is rather precarious.

A few rotations around the planets of tomorrow, tightly gripping DD3 so that she doesn’t fall out of the rocket, and our mission is complete. The two college girls insist on taking some pictures with my little astronauts to save the memory of their cute company. Then we rejoin DH.

It is decided that for our final attraction, we should enjoy the relaxing transportation provided by the Tomorrowland® Transit Authority. This proves to be a wise decision. The steady speed with a non-demanding mood provides a great atmosphere for relaxing and recounting all the memorable moments the day held. Every family member has some little piece of fun that they want to relive through verbal retelling of it, and many laughs are shared as we glide throughout Tomorrowland®’s landscape.

By the time we reach our place of departure, a satisfying sense of closure envelopes us. The Magic Kingdom® is shutting down, and it is time for our happy team to make our exit from the beautiful park to our welcoming beds. We have, yet, another demanding day ahead of us. Not one that requires physical stamina for conquering a vast territory but one that requires emotional stamina for enduring exhausting relatives.