trips to Disney without the spouse?

[Bete]

I think you need to compromise. Disney World may work if you let your wife do as she wants to do there.

Perhaps the wife can go, but not really be involved with park activities or do reduced activities at the parks (shorter day). She could enjoy the pool and do some sun bathing. Maybe, let her have a spa treatment everyday. There's plenty of golfing at Disney available and I believe you can get instruction for it at extra cost, if need be. You can even fish at Disney. She could shop at Downtown Disney. There are Disney park tours that she may like to do; I know it made me more interested in Disney World. She could enjoy the Boardwalk. Maybe, she could wonder off on her own to do whatever including going somewhere non-Disney. She could do a taxi cab ride someplace or you can rent a car.

You could meet up for dinner together. You don't need park tickets at the resort restaurants. Maybe, you could have a few romantic nights with your wife while your child has a babysitter. I think she would be impressed with Victoria and Albert's, but make sure you make reservations way ahead of time for this place.

Get a better understanding of what she doesn't like about a Disney World trip and work around it, if you can. Incorporate whatever her ideas may be for a trip there. Maybe, she would be more agreeable if you tried some of the other parks like Universal and SeaWorld. There's plenty to do in the Orlando area. You may have to do a car rental, but that's workable, too.

Now, if she is unwilling to compromise herself then you may have to dig deeper to find out why. Is she concerned about the cost of a Disney trip or any other trip? Does she feel the money could be better spent rather than going on any vacation? You may have to think about a cheaper vacation, if she feels this way.

My husband is not a fan of Disney World, but our compromise is doing two vacations. He gets to pick one that is not Disney and he goes with me to Disney. He gets tired at Disney; he's older. I compromise with having shorter days at Disney World and relaxing at the resort.

We went this past December and I will say right now I'm not a fan of the new fastpass plus system. You may find yourself unhappy about only getting 3 fastpasses, right now. Will your child be patient if you need to stand and wait in ride lines more? It seems more people are going to Disney World, again. We vacation basically at the same time at Disney World every year and it seemed a lot more crowded in December 2013. Between the new fastpass plus system and more crowds we did not accomplish as much as the past, recent years. Actually, after that trip I'm rethinking about going to Disney World less often myself. I don't find Disney to be a cheap vacation and we have been having more fun going elsewhere and for less money.

Finally, will she go on a different vacation without the both of you? Maybe, she would like to take a different trip with her mom, sister, or a friend some place.

I think you need to talk about all of this more and see what happens.

 

[pheonixheart]

I'm not alone! My husband has never been to WDW and with all certainty never will. (He has 'views' about Disney). But in 10 yrs I've taken 6 trips without him. One with my step son (his from a previous marriage). All with his blessing. He understands it's a place I love to go to spend time with my mother (and since she pays he can't argue). His idea of vacation is going to his family "cabin" in the Adirondacks for a week. (Not very vacationey to me. Same job better view not very relaxing. ). One year while on this "vacation" he got mad because I spent most of the time reading! Lol. I am not the "outdoorsy" type and I'm ok with it. He is and good for him. We have 5 kids and these trips make it so that I can get quality time with them. And as far as the kids are concerned we wish he was there with us and we miss him and then agree we have a good time bc he isn't there having a miserable time. I love him and he is my best friend which is why he doesn't make me do things I don't want too and vice versa.
As far as the few years we get. No truer words as I prepare to send my twins to college next year I am grateful for the time I had with them. To add to this I'd LOVE even as an adult to go on vacation with just my daddy. Little girls need to know what a good man is and she learns that from her dad.

 

[mydisneykids]

It sounds like she just really doesn't want to go away. My parents were like that. I remember 4 vacations in all of my childhood... one of them being Disney. They had the means to do it, just didn't want to travel. (I think that is why I overcompensate with my kids....) I have such happy memories of those 4 trips, I wish we had been away more often. I enjoyed the time they had off at home, too. But they still had to take time to cook, clean up, answer the phone, etc. When we were away it was all about being together.

I would offer for her to come every trip, offer to fit it to her desires such as spending her days by the pool relaxing, etc. while you are at the parks. If she still does not want to go, I would still go and make those memories with my daughter. I would just tell my daughter that different people enjoy different things. You and I love going to Disney but mommy likes to have quiet time at home.

I LOVE all things Disney as do my 3 kids. My husband enjoys Disney. But cannot go as often as we do. Therefore, I go with them alone during the summer which is his busy time at work when he needs to work longer hours and can't be away. We are all happy then.

Good luck!

 

[bizziemom]

I have lurked long enough. This thread has inspired me to come out of lurkdom.
I am so happy to see that I am not alone in my love for Disney and married to a spouse that does not feel the same way.
We went as a family in Dec 2012--DH, Dd16, DD12, DS 10, and myself. We met my dad there, he lives in Largo, and he spent the week with us. Like me, my dad loves Disney.
I was very surprised that although we all had a good time, neither dh nor my kids are really interested in going back. I, on the other hand, am counting the days and ways to save money for another trip.
Recently my dad told me he would pay for my plane ticket to come down so he and I could visit WDW again.
But I feel guilty about going on vacation without dh and/or kids-- even though they couldn't care less! And I'd have to convince my dh, who would probably think it's absurd to go to wdw without kids.
To the OP: my husband is like your wife. He is definitely a home body and doesn't care to travel. I am the distraction vacationer. What if you compromised and went away for vacation only every other year? And when you do go to FL, try getting some relaxing beach days in there, like maybe a few days at Sanibel?
Also when it comes to talking to your daughter about Disney, why not have your wife explain her position to her in her own words, that way she's not getting mad at you...

 

[Donald Duck888]

Just had to update to say "ONLY 4 DAYS LEFT TILL WE GO!!!!"

My daughter is so excited i thought some of the magic might start to be lost for her as she is getting older(7 now) but she seems even more excited for this trip than she was for previous trips (and she was pretty darned excited for those lol).

Here's to hoping she never loses her love of going to Disney with her old dad.

 

[DISNEY180]

Just had to update to say "ONLY 4 DAYS LEFT TILL WE GO!!!!"

My daughter is so excited i thought some of the magic might start to be lost for her as she is getting older(7 now) but she seems even more excited for this trip than she was for previous trips (and she was pretty darned excited for those lol).

Here's to hoping she never loses her love of going to Disney with her old dad.

I need to ask as this thread started last August. Has your DW accepted you and your DD going on your own or did she decide to join you this trip?

 

[Chrispygal]

Just had to update to say "ONLY 4 DAYS LEFT TILL WE GO!!!!"

My daughter is so excited i thought some of the magic might start to be lost for her as she is getting older(7 now) but she seems even more excited for this trip than she was for previous trips (and she was pretty darned excited for those lol).

Here's to hoping she never loses her love of going to Disney with her old dad.

Have a great time!!! My DH does not like to travel and has zero interest in going. I've been twice with my DD (20 months old) and a friend and left DH at home. I wonder if it will start bothering him when she's older. I would love to go again NOW but we are planning a "big" family trip for when DD is 4 and DH is going on that. I told him he had to be there to experience it once and after that, I will never ask him to go again. Luckily I have a good friend with DVC so DD and I will have many chances to go!

 

[Donald Duck888]

I need to ask as this thread started last August. Has your DW accepted you and your DD going on your own or did she decide to join you this trip?

We are going solo. I tried and tried to convince my wife to come by telling her how different a vacation it could be, no need to rush around parks if she did not want, she could relax by pool, how POR is a nice place to take a relaxing vacation in and of itself but she just wanted no part of going. So I gave up and decided on just going with my daughter and having a great time like we did last year.

 

[DISNEY180]

We are going solo. I tried and tried to convince my wife to come by telling her how different a vacation it could be, no need to rush around parks if she did not want, she could relax by pool, how POR is a nice place to take a relaxing vacation in and of itself but she just wanted no part of going. So I gave up and decided on just going with my daughter and having a great time like we did last year.

HAVE A GREAT TIME!!!!

It is sad that your DW doesn't want to join you but it is her loss which she will never be able to get back and I don't mean Disney I mean the experience and quality time spend with you and DD.

 

[AquaDame]

DH has only allowed a solo trip once....once...and that was a necessary meeting for work. He didn't think it was funny when I called from DTD and said "Guess where I am...." either.

I have a DH that does NOT like to travel at all. I have been lots of places but he loves home....I can get him to WDW though...it is our happy place together but at times I wish he would do other things....not affecting our Disney trips of course. I mean "extra" trips.

Same with mine... I did it last year and he ended up joining me for three days and I finished the week off solo, lol!

I know every relationship is different but if my SO told me I wasn't ALLOWED to travel solo I don't think he'd be my SO for much longer! My ex DH was overly controlling in some aspects, one of the reasons he is an ex, lol.

Went on a solo Disney trip last year w/out my SO, had a blast, and he was happy that I had a blast!

Keep in mind there are many reasons for an SO to not "allow" his wife to go solo. For us, he is too worried about the safety of me going alone, so certain places are off limits (China, Africa, New York etc). If push came to shove I would absolutely go alone anyway, but why? He wants to keep me safe, no other reason, and how much fun would I have if I knew my husband was unhappy and worried about me the whole time? There are times I feel unsafe in my own city, so I *get* his concern and certain situations really are better in a group.

Have you taken a moment to ask your wife where she wants to go on vacation? Disney is great, but there is more than one fantastic travel destination out there. Couldn't you space out your trips a bit more so you guys can try going on vacation together? Your wife's resentment will probably grow. Also, how much vacation time do you have? I only get two weeks. I would want to spend as much of that time with my spouse if I had one.

Or you have a situation like us, where HE gets two weeks, but I get three... and a HUGE bucket list of places I want to go! It kills me!

I find there is no "relaxing at home" when you are on vacation. Especially with kids at home. I just finished a week of holidays, playing taxi driver, babysitter, cook, referee, etc. and I told dh never again will I waste holidays staying at home. It was NOT a vacation! LOL. Plus people know you are home and expect you to call back asap, answer emails, etc.

I have a friend who doesn't understand me wanting to travel or go camping, and I can't understand her wanting to sit around and "relax". LOL

OP, enjoy your vacations with your daughter and don't feel guilty!

Can't you just tell them you won't be available? They don't have to know! Its not any easier when you don't have kids trust me.. the last time we stayed home over the holidays we were building a shed in the backyard in the snow and knocking other things off the to-do list. Our house looked great, but I was in desperate need of a vacation from our 'vacation'!

We are going solo. I tried and tried to convince my wife to come by telling her how different a vacation it could be, no need to rush around parks if she did not want, she could relax by pool, how POR is a nice place to take a relaxing vacation in and of itself but she just wanted no part of going. So I gave up and decided on just going with my daughter and having a great time like we did last year.

It could be she liked the alone time too... as much as I love love love my husband, I cherish whenever I have time alone in the house without him as well. Have a great trip!