Traveling without your college kid

[mefordis]

Our oldest is now a freshman in college. The rest of the family want to take a trip for spring break, but of course my younger daughter's spring break lands at a different time than my older daughter's.

How do people in this situation manage it? I'd feel so guilty going anywhere and not including my oldest daughter. But, it's either go without her or don't go at all since my youngest is in 8th grade and of course we won't be leaving her at home to accommodate the older one's break.

 

[Southernmiss]

We waited until summer when everyone could travel.

 

[princesscinderella]

I think do two small trips, one with each daughter during their spring breaks. and make the one with your college kid a mother daughter trip. Then a big family one in the summer.

 

[Smugpugmug]

My sister and I had different spring breaks when we were in college so we ended up going on separate trips. There was even a year when my family went to WDW without me. In your situation I would either do a smaller trip during each spring break (which is what my family did for the most part minus that WDW trip I didn't go on) or move the trip to the summer where everyone can go.

 

[georgina]

Can’t pull the 8th grader out of school?

I think our few trips with kids in HS and college were summer trips. It gets harder as they get older. Youngest played a spring sport in college so her spring break was not free.

 

[_19disnA]

Probably should have a discussion with your daughter in college. She may have made new friends and want to do something with them over their spring break. Clearly, if everyone's break isn't at the same time, she will likely understand that everyone in your family can't go on the same vacation.

 

[Brett Wyman]

Our kindergartener and 3rd grader have different vacation schedules. So thats fun !!!

 

[NotUrsula]

Depending on distances and travel costs, perhaps your elder daughter can join you for the weekend that bookends her break?

Of course, she might be busy; working or working on schoolwork (remember that in college, teachers don't ease up on assignments just because of spring break; final papers/projects are often due soon after it ends.)

 

[mamacatnv]

When we had that scenario, we took the younger one out of school.

 

[Skip Coffee for Rope Drop]

Go in late June/Early July. She will enjoy the time with the family in the parks in late June or July.

 

[Skywalker3]

Our oldest is now a freshman in college. The rest of the family want to take a trip for spring break, but of course my younger daughter's spring break lands at a different time than my older daughter's.

How do people in this situation manage it? I'd feel so guilty going anywhere and not including my oldest daughter. But, it's either go without her or don't go at all since my youngest is in 8th grade and of course we won't be leaving her at home to accommodate the older one's break.

We are about to experience the very same thing for fall break. Daughter is a freshman, and her fall break is not ours. We are going to Disney/Universal, and she is not......Feeling pretty guilty about it. She did get a Disney/Universal trip in June w her friend, but I still can't help feeling guilty doing all these plans w/o her .
Summer is going to be the best time to plan things, or over Winter/Christmas break. Will probably start shifting more travel to those time, but will likely have some trips w/o both of them....

 

[DLgal]

Our oldest is now a freshman in college. The rest of the family want to take a trip for spring break, but of course my younger daughter's spring break lands at a different time than my older daughter's.

How do people in this situation manage it? I'd feel so guilty going anywhere and not including my oldest daughter. But, it's either go without her or don't go at all since my youngest is in 8th grade and of course we won't be leaving her at home to accommodate the older one's break.

You don't go on vacations during spring break, or you simply stop traveling with your college aged kid.

My last "family vacation" was the summer before senior year. We went on an Alaska cruise. That was the last family vacation. That was 27 years ago. It became too much to try and coordinate schedules with 3 siblings all in different places in life.

 

[2TxAgs]

It won't get any easier, but I applaud you for wanting to continue family trips. Some times they will work out, others not so much. I agree that by spring break, your daughter may have something she wants to do with her college friends. I would plan the trip the rest of the family wants to take and also plan some activity for summer when all can participate. It could be also that by spring break your college daughter will just want to come home and relax in preparation for the final couple months of classes, or visit and catch up with her HS friends.

We always were going in different directions with kids playing sports, but my 'sad, can't be together' moment came when the graduation schedules were finally posted and my twins graduated from schools 300 miles apart on the same day. Dad went to one and I went to the other....

 

[jalapeno_pretzel]

When I started college, my parents took trips with younger sib without me. Summer wasn't helpful either because I had internships. That's just what happens. I never even remotely felt sad or thought they should feel guilty because I couldn't go.

 

[mefordis]

We waited until summer when everyone could travel.

We are doing summer trips, too. She'll be coming on those.

 

[mefordis]

I think do two small trips, one with each daughter during their spring breaks. and make the one with your college kid a mother daughter trip. Then a big family one in the summer.

I won't be able to do one with only my older daughter since my younger daughter needs me around. Her dad won't be able to take her to school or pick her up every day I'm gone, and might not be there on any given day, due to work.

 

[disykat]

We didn't really vacation the years we were helping to pay college tuition, so problem solved!

I think this is something families should start talking about pretty early so no one gets their nose out of joint. I'd make it clear kids that after high school graduation its by invitation only and determined by whether schedules mesh. While, sure, it's nice to wait until everyone can go, there are things the child in college, working, etc. is going to miss. The younger children didn't get to go on any vacations before they were in the nest and the older children will miss some when they are out of the nest. Everyone gets the same amount of time of participating fully in family stuff, (the roughly 18 years from birth to high school graduation) so it's perfectly fair.

It seems like I'm always reading stories on the internet about "How dare my family go on a vacation without me after I left home." Get over it.

My SIL has two sets of kids 10 years apart. When the older ones had feelings about not being invited to a vacation that happened while they were off at college, SIL pointed out all the vacations they went on as a family before the younger two were born. They saw the reason of it immediately once it was pointed out.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

How do people in this situation manage it?

We took 2 of our 3 (adult) children on a cruise. Then, when the other one was on semester break, we took him on a cruise.

Separate vacations works well.

Ask your kids, what would they be comfortable with? It's quite possible that not everyone will want to still do family vacations once they're "all grown up".

 

[mefordis]

It turns out my daughter is fine with us going without her. In fact, she has met some people and said she might be going somewhere with them on her spring break. Thanks for all of the input!

 

[GoingSince1990]

Not fair to the youngest daughter to make her stay home for spring break just because the oldest is in college. After all, when the oldest was the age of the youngest she was able to go away for spring breaks. As your kids get older and older, you will take more and more vacations with some but not all of your kids, but still hopefully be able to enjoy occasional vacations, often over summer or Christmas, when everyone is able to go. And those times may be rarer but will feel all the more special.