kathleena
<font color=FF99FF>Because everyone needs a Fairy
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2001
- Messages
- 2,216
Well, placed up with the trips described here, mine are cakewalks. I've just had some odd things developing with friends we have travelled with four times now. First time we got two studios, since then we have two bedrooms.
Things were fine the first two trips.
Then the third trip, odd stuff with my friend. On the previous 2br trip, we had just fallen into sharing stuff - cooking , cleaning kitchen, laundry etc. Not an issue at all. I said I would cook, I did and it was fine. She went and did something else and vice versa. Then on the third trip, if I went to the kitchen to prepare something - she jumped right up and came over to help. OK fine, not a problem. I just say, no I'm fine you can prepare it the next time. (I do tend to like to work alone in the kitchen). Then I was folding laundry in the room another night and she comes in abruptly and has her hands on her hips "why didn't you call me?" I said for what? She said - well I could have helped you do that. I said, no I'm fine - now keep in mind this - she had several times already folded laundry by herself without calling me, But she is chastising me for not calling her? I thought this mother hen stuff was very strange and it had not been an issue the first time. But I was also sick with the beginning of Graves disease, so I wrote it off to her mothering me because she thought I was tired.
This last trip, I mentioned that the BWV kitchens are smaller than OKW and hard to have two people working in them (Oh, OK, so I'm trying to pre-empt here!). I suggest we take turns with cooking and laundry. She comes back a few days later and says that may not be "fair" on days when we eat out. I say, well, it should even out over the trip, I'm not really counting I was just trying to help so we don't get in each others way. So she agrees that she will cook the first three days, and I do laundry. Then we switch. So immediately - on the first laundry load - she is right by my side in that little laundry space trying to help. Can you see four arms in those washers and dryers? I turned to her and said remember our agreement. And she said - well I "can't let you do all the work" (exact quote). So I remind her that she is cooking and asked her to just let me do it by myself and she can cook by herself. Every time after that - as I was doing laundry, she sat at the table and watched me. (If she was cooking, I went out on the deck to read) And if I didn't get right to the dryer or washer when it was done - she was right in there doing it. OK, whatever! I didn't say anything else the first few days.
Then when it was my turn to cook - and I really like to just cook by myself - she was all over me again. I told her that I wanted to prepare the meal myself. She AND her husband sat on the couch or sat at the breakfast bar each meals I prepared and stared me. BOTH of them! The first time it happened they were at the breakfast bar. After a while, I just looked at them and said jokingly "you guys must be really hungry, I feel like the vultures are watching me - I promise to be done soon!" BUt then they did it everytime - They didn't talk, or read or watch TV - they just stared at me. And asked several times - "do you need any help. Are you sure? I can do that for you." Each time I replied, no I'm fine. Picture me preparing turkey burgers. Now how many hands can be in that bowl mixing the ingredients at one time?????? Then the last straw when I was taking out salad stuff from the fridge and she jumped up again and started reaching in the fridge with me to take stuff out. I stood up, looked her in the eye and said obviously it really bothers you to watch me work without helping. And it bothers me that you are hanging over me. So I will just leave and you can do what you want. I went out to the deck. My DH said I wasn't thru the master bedroom door, and her DH leapt of the couch and both of them were in the kitchen.
OK, so not a fluke the first time - but a foreboding of things to come. She just can't stand it that I was working and she wasn't? I'm not really sure. I have no problem at all sharing and walking away when someone else is working. I guess she does.
There are also couples differences here - they won't use the dishwasher, and do all dishes by hand (saves on water!). They leave the water in the sink all day and then just add more soap and hot water at night to do the evening dishes. They don't do a laundry until the washer is full (I explained that's what the small/med/large load size is for). And some other things. I can live with those, and just do our thing.
But watching me and my every move to be sure what chores we do in the room is "fair"? It just irritated me beyond belief.
So not a trip from hell, but just a dawning of how just living with someone else for a week can get on your nerves! At least DH and I agreed that things were odd. I kept asking him - I'm I just being picky or small - and he would assure me that it was not just me. And he would tell me if he thought I was reading too much into it.
Ahhhhh. I feel better. I haven't told anyone this. I really don't want to complain about friends. So we will just get our own 1br at the BWV next time and they will be happy in their OKW 1br. Peace.
Things were fine the first two trips.
Then the third trip, odd stuff with my friend. On the previous 2br trip, we had just fallen into sharing stuff - cooking , cleaning kitchen, laundry etc. Not an issue at all. I said I would cook, I did and it was fine. She went and did something else and vice versa. Then on the third trip, if I went to the kitchen to prepare something - she jumped right up and came over to help. OK fine, not a problem. I just say, no I'm fine you can prepare it the next time. (I do tend to like to work alone in the kitchen). Then I was folding laundry in the room another night and she comes in abruptly and has her hands on her hips "why didn't you call me?" I said for what? She said - well I could have helped you do that. I said, no I'm fine - now keep in mind this - she had several times already folded laundry by herself without calling me, But she is chastising me for not calling her? I thought this mother hen stuff was very strange and it had not been an issue the first time. But I was also sick with the beginning of Graves disease, so I wrote it off to her mothering me because she thought I was tired.
This last trip, I mentioned that the BWV kitchens are smaller than OKW and hard to have two people working in them (Oh, OK, so I'm trying to pre-empt here!). I suggest we take turns with cooking and laundry. She comes back a few days later and says that may not be "fair" on days when we eat out. I say, well, it should even out over the trip, I'm not really counting I was just trying to help so we don't get in each others way. So she agrees that she will cook the first three days, and I do laundry. Then we switch. So immediately - on the first laundry load - she is right by my side in that little laundry space trying to help. Can you see four arms in those washers and dryers? I turned to her and said remember our agreement. And she said - well I "can't let you do all the work" (exact quote). So I remind her that she is cooking and asked her to just let me do it by myself and she can cook by herself. Every time after that - as I was doing laundry, she sat at the table and watched me. (If she was cooking, I went out on the deck to read) And if I didn't get right to the dryer or washer when it was done - she was right in there doing it. OK, whatever! I didn't say anything else the first few days.
Then when it was my turn to cook - and I really like to just cook by myself - she was all over me again. I told her that I wanted to prepare the meal myself. She AND her husband sat on the couch or sat at the breakfast bar each meals I prepared and stared me. BOTH of them! The first time it happened they were at the breakfast bar. After a while, I just looked at them and said jokingly "you guys must be really hungry, I feel like the vultures are watching me - I promise to be done soon!" BUt then they did it everytime - They didn't talk, or read or watch TV - they just stared at me. And asked several times - "do you need any help. Are you sure? I can do that for you." Each time I replied, no I'm fine. Picture me preparing turkey burgers. Now how many hands can be in that bowl mixing the ingredients at one time?????? Then the last straw when I was taking out salad stuff from the fridge and she jumped up again and started reaching in the fridge with me to take stuff out. I stood up, looked her in the eye and said obviously it really bothers you to watch me work without helping. And it bothers me that you are hanging over me. So I will just leave and you can do what you want. I went out to the deck. My DH said I wasn't thru the master bedroom door, and her DH leapt of the couch and both of them were in the kitchen.
OK, so not a fluke the first time - but a foreboding of things to come. She just can't stand it that I was working and she wasn't? I'm not really sure. I have no problem at all sharing and walking away when someone else is working. I guess she does.
There are also couples differences here - they won't use the dishwasher, and do all dishes by hand (saves on water!). They leave the water in the sink all day and then just add more soap and hot water at night to do the evening dishes. They don't do a laundry until the washer is full (I explained that's what the small/med/large load size is for). And some other things. I can live with those, and just do our thing.
But watching me and my every move to be sure what chores we do in the room is "fair"? It just irritated me beyond belief.
So not a trip from hell, but just a dawning of how just living with someone else for a week can get on your nerves! At least DH and I agreed that things were odd. I kept asking him - I'm I just being picky or small - and he would assure me that it was not just me. And he would tell me if he thought I was reading too much into it.
Ahhhhh. I feel better. I haven't told anyone this. I really don't want to complain about friends. So we will just get our own 1br at the BWV next time and they will be happy in their OKW 1br. Peace.
) all at once! I would ask what do you want to do and get three "Doesn't matter to me" answers! Argh! Then when I would say it, they would get irritated with me! 
Ya just gotta laugh!
We were so uncomfortable. We gave up trying to please her. We went our own way!
It is nice to hear that people do manage to have nice vacations with family and friends. Our families are all anti-disney 
