Toys for Christmas right??? Not clothes... vent ahead..

[marcyinPA]

It might be a good time to start teaching gratitude for gifts. A gift is a wonderful thought even if its not what you asked for

AMEN!!!!! (where is the "like" button on the DIS? )

 

[agnes!]

BTW...

GIFTS for Christmas. Not toys/clothes/money/food...but just a gift. Learn to be gracious in both the giving and receiving. I honestly doubt Mary and Joseph or little Jesus in the manger said "Myrrh? Frankincense?? What the heck!? We NEEDED food and clothing!"

Yeah...
"This gold will really help out, we didn't know how we were going to make ends meet on a carpenter's pay, but what the heck is the deal with the incense and ointment?!?...hmmm, maybe we can return it for something more practical or sell...ooooooh, wait a minute!, the containers do look pretty darn expensive..."

agnes!

 

[Imzadi]

You already have issues with these people for whatever reason and it wouldn't matter what they did for Christmas would it somehow just be wrong? If they sent $$, it would be because they didn't care. If they sent toys, they would be the wrong type. If they don't consult with you about specific gift preferences, then they are being selfish. And, I must say, you are setting *your* side of the family up as somehow being better with "Thankfully she will get her fair share of toys from my side this weekend."

To put a 5 year old child in the middle of this and teach her that her mom's family (& gifts) are better than the in-laws is so wrong!

 

[leebee]

You should be grateful that your in-laws are buying gifts for what sounds like a very spoiled little girl. You're not doing her any favors by acting the way you are!

Guess we Mainers think alike!! My DD has one aunt/uncle who send presents. Everyone else either cannot afford to send gifts or has passed away. It's always a very small pile under the tree. You should learn to be grateful for what you have, and teach that lesson to your child/ren!

 

[Jennasis]

 

[mjkacmom]

I'm going to make an observation. People with no kids, or only one, think clothing is a bad gift. People with multiple kids seem to think clothing is an okay gift, if not a great gift.

If I shop for my kids, during the year, and they come home from school and see new clothes, they are estatic. They couldn't be more thankful. If grandma takes them shopping (she just loves to shop, loves Marshalls and TJMax), they couldn't be happier.

Maybe some people just buy clothes on a regular basis, and it's no big deal. I spend ridiculous amounts of money on my kids' activities (at least $1000 per month). I'm sure they appreciate it, but it's just what they're used to, and always have had. Maybe if new clothes was something they received on a regular basis, they wouldn't be thrilled to death getting them as gifts. However, having 5, I'm not picking things up here and there while shopping. I'm usually motivated by a 30% off coupon and free shipping.

So, if I buy clothing as gifts, I do it knowing it's something my kids would love (actually, the only kids I really buy for are my niece and nephews, and my sister is SO picky, I just buy off her list).

 

[luvsJack]

I can see what you are saying....
Kids have SO much these days, it is like their rooms are often just piles and piles of 'organized mess'.

Personally though - IMHO, a Christmas gift should be about the child... about seeing the child's eyes light up, and sharing joy and happiness.

Your right, it should be.

When mom does get clothes for any of her grandkids, she does ask the parents or the kids what is one special kind of clothes that they want. Like for dd, Miss Me Jeans. Or for one grandson it was a western shirt and boots or something. So, its practical and fun.

My mil gets fun type of stuff too. Like one year she got all 6 granddaughters, who are close in age, matching pj pants. They had the most fun that night putting on their pj pants and dancing around acting silly. We have some great pictures of all the girls in them. I am sure they will all remember the Christmas eve they had so much fun dancing around in high school musical pj pants.

 

[AverageDiser]

I have to laugh at the snow globe comments, dd (10) would be thrilled if every present under the tree was a snow globe..she collects them!

As for the clothes thing.. we only buy clothes a few of times a year- an outfit when school starts, and Gram usually gets her the various holiday shirts from Old Navy or Target. Santa (gasp!) usually brings two outfits that are trendy, and also brings socks, underwear, and this year bras.. in addition to a few toys. I have an aunt that sends her "name-brand" clothing, that she's also always thrilled with. I think it depends on what a child is used to. Kids now seem to get a lot more things more quickly..not saying that's a good or bad thing, but it creates a standard to live up to. Even with dd getting a lot of hand-me-downs and thrift store clothing, only getting new toys at Christmas/birthday, etc, she realizes she has it better than a lot of kids. She's been to a soup kitchen and seen the kids that have nothing. She knows we struggle month to month and is happy that we have a place to live and food on the table. Kids can understand at any age that there are people worse off than they are.

I can understand a child not being excited by a bunch of clothes, but as others have said, it's the attitudes of the adults around them that will dictate their reactions, and I think teaching children to be grateful is highly underrated these days. Christmas is the perfect season to model that.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

When I was growing up, Christmas was for WANTS, not needs, but my parents were able to buy me whatever I needed throughout the year.

I never got socks...or underwear...and very rarely clothes(until I was a tween/teen and WANTED those things).

DH on the other hand, grew up with 6 kids in his household. He ALWAYS got things he needed for Christmas and if there was money left over, then they got some "extras" as well.

I don't think there is a problem with either way.

Like some PP posters have said...A gift is a gift...Be gracious and grateful and move on.

 

[agnes!]

When I was growing up, Christmas was for WANTS, not needs, but my parents were able to buy me whatever I needed throughout the year.

I never got socks...or underwear...and very rarely clothes(until I was a tween/teen and WANTED those things).

DH on the other hand, grew up with 6 kids in his household. He ALWAYS got things he needed for Christmas and if there was money left over, then they got some "extras" as well.

I don't think there is a problem with either way.

Like some PP posters have said...A gift is a gift...Be gracious and grateful and move on.

^^What she said. Especially the part about moving on.
agnes!

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Not to mention...The OP was annoyed about UGGS?

Those cost as much as my budget for each kids.

At the very least....SELL THEM!!!

 

[happygirl]

It really about the thought that counts.

 

[DaisyD]

It can being a bit disappointed if she only got clothes but it wasn't even Christmas. You let her open them way before. Now is a good time to teach her how thoughtful it was for her relatives to send her some nice clothes. I would have made a big deal out of them and said how cute they will look on her. I never minded clothes for the kids from relatives.

Up until the age of 10, I only bought toys for my kids for Christmas. All clothes were given to them when bought. I was brought up never getting clothes for Christmas, only fun stuff. My mom bought us clothes but not under the guise as gifts. I like that tradition so kept at it with my own kids. They get clothes but they don't count as gifts since I'm responsible for clothing them anyway. They knew that under that tree was a bunch of all fun stuff.

Now that my youngest is 12, most of what she gets under the tree is clothes since that is pretty much all she wants. I try to get fun stuff but most of that is going to be American Girl and some video games.

 

[JaneBanks]

Really? ALL kids? So you know every kid and none of them like getting clothes? I can tell you that my niece is 7 and she LOVES getting clothes for birthdays/Christmas. She loves to dress up and wear fun clothes and yes she *gasp* genuinely LOVES receiving them. Now maybe if it was a little boy of the same age, I could understand. However, most little girls I know love to get clothes(especially the cute fun ones that maybe Mom or Dad won't always buy you throughout the year).

No, that's not what I said. Some kids like getting clothes, some don't but ALL kids have received a gift they haven't necessarily been thrilled about. I never meant to say kids only make that face when they get clothes. My mistake for not clarifying.

And, why is it okay for a boy to not be thrilled about clothes but not okay for girls. Double standards.

 

[NikitaZee]

I have to laugh at the snow globe comments, dd (10) would be thrilled if every present under the tree was a snow globe..she collects them!

As for the clothes thing.. we only buy clothes a few of times a year- an outfit when school starts, and Gram usually gets her the various holiday shirts from Old Navy or Target. Santa (gasp!) usually brings two outfits that are trendy, and also brings socks, underwear, and this year bras.. in addition to a few toys. I have an aunt that sends her "name-brand" clothing, that she's also always thrilled with. I think it depends on what a child is used to. Kids now seem to get a lot more things more quickly..not saying that's a good or bad thing, but it creates a standard to live up to. Even with dd getting a lot of hand-me-downs and thrift store clothing, only getting new toys at Christmas/birthday, etc, she realizes she has it better than a lot of kids. She's been to a soup kitchen and seen the kids that have nothing. She knows we struggle month to month and is happy that we have a place to live and food on the table. Kids can understand at any age that there are people worse off than they are.

I can understand a child not being excited by a bunch of clothes, but as others have said, it's the attitudes of the adults around them that will dictate their reactions, and I think teaching children to be grateful is highly underrated these days. Christmas is the perfect season to model that.

(Bolding mine). This is where I think folks are having a problem with the OP. They think MOM should be happy and grateful for the gift of clothes, even if her DD isn't - and DD is learning ungrateful ways from mom.
Why assume this is the case? I was raised to show appreciation for any gift I received, which I did. But, I was one of the kids who didn't like getting clothes - especially when my mom made me wear them around grandma, Aunt Patty, etc to show that they were getting used (remember the bunny outfit in A Christmas Story?) . I can't imagine buying my niece boots (for example) when she already has boots - and then taking the stance "If you don't like them and aren't grateful to have them, don't worry - I won't be buying you anything from now on!".
So while my reaction to the gift was appropriately grateful to have gotten it - I only wore it if I was forced to by my mom. That, I consider wasteful both to the giver and the recipient. I'm not going to do that to my nieces and newphews - it's far too easy to just find out what they'd like, and get what's in my price range. What's so hard about that? That way, nobody has to 'pretend' to love my gift because it's good manners - they really love it and can look forward to it. Just MHO.

 

[JaneBanks]

My one SIL wanted to get my DD(5) Ugg boots this year and she would have except that I told her we have already taken care of her boots for this year so she asked what to get her and I said anything Barbie.

The OP never complained about getting UGGs or refused the gift, she already bought her DD boots.


Some people are exaggerating the OP's post to prove a point. That's not fair.

 

[luvdzny]

You should be grateful that your in-laws are buying gifts for what sounds like a very spoiled little girl. You're not doing her any favors by acting the way you are!

I agree with this! Check the definition of the word GIFT, it does not mention the word TOY in it at all. I taught my kids to be grateful for any gift they receive.

Maybe it is time to step back and remember the real reason for Christmas.

 

[jrmasm]

I agree with this! Check the definition of the word GIFT, it does not mention the word TOY in it at all. I taught my kids to be grateful for any gift they receive.

Maybe it is time to step back and remember the real reason for Christmas.

Yeah!!!


Santa Claus is coming to town with his sleigh full of TOYS!!!!!

 

[JamesMom]

Slightly OT, but I am in the camp of no clothes for Christmas for kids, unless specifically asked for. I HATED getting clothes instead of toys. I only got toys on Christmas and June birthday - so that sweater meant one less toy I got to play with for the year.

Christmas is about fulfilling wishes - not practicality. For me that means back to school clothes at the first of the school year or change of season- practical and, yeah, we make a big deal of it and if they asked for something specific for Christmas, then we would get it. My boys don't ask for clothes so they get toys! Top on the list was Ipod for DS9 and Lego Hogwarts Castle for DS6. They get practical stuff like books (titles/authors/genres they ask for) and art stuff (this year, recorders and art supplies) in their stockings -- not as wrapped gifts.

MIL asks for an amazon wish list at Thanksgiving and I put things on it the boys have asked for at the store (ie, Nerf gun for DS9 and coloring house for DS6) but not put on Santa's list. Other than stockings, my kids will open roughtly 8 gifts each from everybody. That's plenty.

BTW - I do get clothes for the holiday, but they are not under the tree presents - nice outfits for Christmas card photo (this year Harry Potter costumes from Halloween), and new PJs.

Lastly, we save shipments from distant relatives for Christmas day. After that, open upon receipt. My in-laws visited this past Saturday and dropped off their presents - still under the tree waiting for Sunday.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Slightly OT, but I am in the camp of no clothes for Christmas for kids, unless specifically asked for. I HATED getting clothes instead of toys. I only got toys on Christmas and June birthday - so that sweater meant one less toy I got to play with for the year.

Christmas is about fulfilling wishes - not practicality. For me that means back to school clothes at the first of the school year or change of season- practical and, yeah, we make a big deal of it and if they asked for something specific for Christmas, then we would get it. My boys don't ask for clothes so they get toys! Top on the list was Ipod for DS9 and Lego Hogwarts Castle for DS6. They get practical stuff like books (titles/authors/genres they ask for) and art stuff (this year, recorders and art supplies) in their stockings -- not as wrapped gifts.

MIL asks for an amazon wish list at Thanksgiving and I put things on it the boys have asked for at the store (ie, Nerf gun for DS9 and coloring house for DS6) but not put on Santa's list. Other than stockings, my kids will open roughtly 8 gifts each from everybody. That's plenty.

BTW - I do get clothes for the holiday, but they are not under the tree presents - nice outfits for Christmas card photo (this year Harry Potter costumes from Halloween), and new PJs.

Lastly, we save shipments from distant relatives for Christmas day. After that, open upon receipt. My in-laws visited this past Saturday and dropped off their presents - still under the tree waiting for Sunday.

Not everyone can afford to do it this way though. DH's parents had NOTHING. For Christmas they got NEEDS.

They could have given them to the kids another time of year..But they would have no gifts to open then unless they had extra money that year.

Is the "ideal" Christmas? Not to most...But it is what they had to do.