Toys for Christmas right??? Not clothes... vent ahead..

[Mrs.Malone]

It's actually worse than you think. (I counsel abused women.) Some of the moms will be BLAMED by their children that they are in a battered women's shelter on Christmas. Even though they may kind of understand why they had to leave. They also know (punching) dad wants them back home. THEY want to go back home and have everything normal again - even with the beatings.

And if the younger ones were able to wake up in their OWN beds on Christmas morning, then maybe Santa would have found them, instead of passing them by with no presents. They blame their mom because they feel she can choose to go back home instead of punishing all of them by taking them out of their homes, to live in such conditions and to miss Christmas. It is heartbreaking for so many moms & families.

This is just heartbreaking on so many levels. I need to really count my blessings this Christmas and always.

 

[mjkacmom]

Well sure. I bet they just wait in anxious anticipation every year for their snowglobes.
.

My kids would act appreciative, but snow globes would be a better gift for grandma! The money would be better spent on itunes gc's (or clothes).

 

[It'sOffToDisneyWeGo]

My children receive gifts from out of state from the relatives. We put the wrapped gifts under the tree to be opened on Christmas Eve with the rest of the presents. On occasion I have even been asked to wrap a present when it arrived because the giver did not get a chance to. It is interesting to hear that other people open their gifts when they arrive.

I assume the gifts I send to my family will be opened the same way. I figure that with all the fun gifts of toys they are opening on Christmas, it is ok if they also open up some clothes.

My guess is that in the craziness of the holidays, the Op wanted to let her child open up some fun toys to keep her attention for the day. What a disappointment when she only found clothes. How long would that keep her attention?

I hope the Op gets what she wants for her daughter at Christmas.

What I have learned from the DIS. What one person gives and would love to recieve is completely different from the next person. I do not think my kids would enjoy snowglobes. I guess we really need to know and understand the person we are buying for.

 

[Gigi22]

I used to head up the "Adopt A Family" program where I work and actually helped deliver the gifts one year. These people had NOTHING!!!!! I mean NOTHING!! On their kids lists were socks, underwear, etc. It was heart wrenching!! I highly suggest that the OP take a moment and maybe visit a homeless shelter or volunteer at a soup kitchen! Especially this time of year. It may put a few things into focus!!

I don't know if any of you read what I wrote on another thread regarding gifts but my SIL would assign what we all would buy for my neice. This is before the rest of us had children. She photo copied my neice's list and put names next to each item. I did not play along with her little game and if I didn't love my neice so much I would have bought her nothing just to spite my SIL! It's funny because my neice who is now 22 told me that she always loved the clothes and fun accessories that I always gave her!!

It's attitudes and mindsets like the OP's that have completely taken the meaning out of Christmas. Sounds like she is keeping score as it is a competition between her husbands side of the family and hers! Disgusting!!

------------------------
This comment about the Adopt a Family .

Frankly, it is because of this type of attitude that I cut my older niece and nephew (now adults) out of my gift-buying plans. They still get a Christmas gift, but they only get gift cards because that is simplest for me. They are just too high maintenance for me to bother buying them gifts.

 

[RunningGirl]

Well sure. I bet they just wait in anxious anticipation every year for their snowglobes.

But they're thinking, "Why doesn't she just get us CLOTHES?!?"

 

[Janepod]

Everything gets opened on Christmas. We saw some out-of-town relatives on Oct. 1 and they gave us our gifts then - still haven't opened them!

Same thing with birthday presents - they get opened on your birthday. (Unless the kid's party is before his birthday - then they get opened the day of the party.)

Never occurred to me to do anything differently. Whaddya know?!

 

[luvsJack]

I have a question. When did the OP say that her daughter had a fit or declared that she hated the clothes and didn't appreciate them?

She didn't say that! The OP said that her 5 year old daughter, not a 10 yr old and not a teenager, made a "not clothes again" face. A face ALL kids make.

The OP isn't having an over reaction to this, most of the people responding to this thread are.

I'm sure every single one of your children had a not so great reaction to a gift and I'm sure every single one of you thought something at one time that would make you seem ungrateful. Ease up.

I can name at least 4 girls right now that when they were 5, LOVED getting clothes. And never made a face or said something like that. Are they perfect kids? No, not by an stretch of the imagination. But, a lot of 5 year old girls just love getting new clothes.

DD did have one Christmas eve that she may have seemed ungrateful. She was 3 and every child got two gifts at my in-laws--one from them and one from whoever got the child's name. Well, mil always buys some kind of clothing and/or a warm throw and normally the other person does try to get some kind of toy. Whoever got dd's name that year racked up on clothes at a sale and gave her a big box of clothes. She was thrilled looking at all the new clothes until she looked around and noticed that everyone else had something to play with. She then sat and looked sad until one of the sil's brought her another gift that was a tea set (I guess it was an extra gift someone had). She wasn't ungrateful for the clothes, she loved them. If we had been at our house without all the other kids with a toy, she would have happily tried on every piece of clothing in the box and been happy as a clam.

 

[JaneBanks]

I can name at least 4 girls right now that when they were 5, LOVED getting clothes. And never made a face or said something like that. Are they perfect kids? No, not by an stretch of the imagination. But, a lot of 5 year old girls just love getting new clothes.

DD did have one Christmas eve that she may have seemed ungrateful. She was 3 and every child got two gifts at my in-laws--one from them and one from whoever got the child's name. Well, mil always buys some kind of clothing and/or a warm throw and normally the other person does try to get some kind of toy. Whoever got dd's name that year racked up on clothes at a sale and gave her a big box of clothes. She was thrilled looking at all the new clothes until she looked around and noticed that everyone else had something to play with. She then sat and looked sad until one of the sil's brought her another gift that was a tea set (I guess it was an extra gift someone had). She wasn't ungrateful for the clothes, she loved them. If we had been at our house without all the other kids with a toy, she would have happily tried on every piece of clothing in the box and been happy as a clam.

Okay. Some kids don't like getting clothes and by what the OP has said, her daughter didn't act any different than yours.

Do you want people telling you that you're ruining your child and you're child is going to grow up and be a nightmare because of her reaction?

 

[mjkacmom]

I buy my daughter clothes all through the year as she needs them, they are not gifts-they are just part of raising a child! Geez do you people give underwear and bras as gifts to your kids too????

My younger kids wear a lot of hand-me-downs, and my 2 youngest share a wardrobe (and a closet, dresser, room). Everyone one of them will find socks and underwear in their stockings (the only time they get new underwear) - it's a tradition. They don't get new clothes throughout the year, unless they outgrow theirs (poor dd10 has been wearing size 7/8 for years now). Dd15 stopped growing a few years ago - she LOVES getting new clothes.

I do laundry every single day of the year - new clothes are a luxury, not a necessity. It's not financial - I'm just practical.

 

[NikitaZee]

I have a question. When did the OP say that her daughter had a fit or declared that she hated the clothes and didn't appreciate them?

She didn't say that! The OP said that her 5 year old daughter, not a 10 yr old and not a teenager, made a "not clothes again" face. A face ALL kids make.

The OP isn't having an over reaction to this, most of the people responding to this thread are.

I'm sure every single one of your children had a not so great reaction to a gift and I'm sure every single one of you thought something at one time that would make you seem ungrateful. Ease up.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I have a question. When did the OP say that her daughter had a fit or declared that she hated the clothes and didn't appreciate them?

She didn't say that! The OP said that her 5 year old daughter, not a 10 yr old and not a teenager, made a "not clothes again" face. A face ALL kids make.

The OP isn't having an over reaction to this, most of the people responding to this thread are.

I'm sure every single one of your children had a not so great reaction to a gift and I'm sure every single one of you thought something at one time that would make you seem ungrateful. Ease up.

Actually, the main thing i picked up was not the child making a face (that bothered me more that Mom is seeing "classic signs" as if she thinks this is normal and nothing to discourage), but the attitude of the OP. SHE (the adult) sounds ungrateful--she is seeing clothes and a blanket as something to jsut fold and put away and not fun at all. That is what bugged me and what I am guessing bugged many here.

Oh, and my kids are going to be 13 and 15 this week. That said, I can only think of two clothing items that they ever were not excited about (even at younger than 5) and in both cases they were still very polite about it. DS was sad once to get a box full of sweats as hand me downs. He is not fond of swaets and never has been (otherwise, he loves getting a box of han me downs) and DD was not excited once about something which was totally not her style (pink camouflaged pants). Otherwise, yes even at age 5 (and under) my kids (even the boy) have been happy to get clothes.

 

[Magic Mom]

Even at 5 kids can understand the concept of different kinds of gifts from different people. DH's mom and grandmother and aunt only give clothes (or sometimes cash). That's it. Somehow they haven't crumbled into emotional wrecks over it yet. Infact, DD has always liked getting clothes. DS would have rather had a Gargoyle than pair of dress pants at 5, but he's had no long lasting effects from the trauma.

OP, I know you have issues with the inlaws, but I think you are piling on with this issue.

 

[Wishing on a star]

"when you buy me clothes it only helps my parents.". My FIL realized it was no fun for a boy to get a bunch of clothes and has never bought him clothes as a gift again.

THIS!!!!
Completely and totally... 100%

Yeah, little junior is just all smiles and his eyes lit up... "Ohhh boy!!! Flannel Pajamas!

Picking out clothes for little kids is ALL about the adults.

It is all about serving the adults desires.
Not just the parents, but the relative who is serving their own desire to 'clothe a child', pick out what they think the child should wear, etc.

Unlesss it is an older child/teen who REALLY wants those Ugg boots, Under Armour Jacket, etc....

I would never, ever, buy clothing for a child as a Christmas gift.

And, ALL of the stuff from the one SIL was clothing....
Not one single fun item or toy???

 

[brookmey]

My family and my in-laws are in MI while we're in TX, so my kids' presents always arrive a few days before Christmas. I let the kids open the packages when we get them and their grandparents don't have a problem with that. It's a way to keep their grandparents' gifts from getting overshadowed by Santa's gifts.

My parents always send clothes, but they're usually pajamas or clothes that I would never buy them. My son, who's 5, isn't fond of clothes, but he does like getting pajamas and fun shirts. My parents also send little fun gifts, like Mad Libs for DD7 or Lego people for DS or books or craft projects. It's a mix of both.

I'm glad my parents don't get my kids toys. My kids have way too many. My kids understand that they won't get toys from the grandparents and they're fine with it. My mom has a knack for picking out clothes that the kids would like, clothes that are fun for them to wear, so it works out well.

While I do think the OP's daughter sounds like a normal 5 year old who would rather get toys than clothes, this is a good opportunity for her to learn that gift giving is not just all about toys. When my 5 year old son says he doesn't want clothes, I tell him that Grandma picked these out especially for him for a reason and everytime he wears them he can remember Grandma and Grandpa and that they love him enough to take the time to pick out these clothes for him.

 

[DMRick]

snow globes for the older kids etc..

Snow globe? One of those things you shake and the snow falls on it? What age are the kids you got that for? Do they collect them?

 

[Wishing on a star]

Okay, having said all of that above....
OP, I completely and totally understand and agree!!!!

I just want to say that no matter if clothes are lame Christmas gifts for children....

You really can't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Vent here a little bit, and let it go!!!

Sounds like your kids are getting piles of gifts and toys...
So, enjoy the holiday and don't give this another thought.

 

[Tara922c]

I try to teach my dd that no matter what someone gives you as a gift, you say thank-you and you never complain about a gift. It is a gift, and they don't have to buy your dd anything if they don't want to. My mom bought dd4clothes for Christmas and I am thankful. For one, my mom didn't have to buy her anything, and for two, she needs new clothes.

My biggest pet peeve is when a family member calls me and tells me what to buy their child. If I wanted to know, I would ask! I bought my cousins DS2 a pair of pajamas, and my nephew a pair of pajamas. If they don't like them, they are more than welcome to exchange them. If the gift isn't good enough for my cousin or SIL, they can buy their kids whatever they want with their own money.

 

[NikitaZee]

THIS!!!!
Completely and totally... 100%

Yeah, little junior is just all smiles and his eyes lit up... "Ohhh boy!!! Flannel Pajamas!

Picking out clothes for little kids is ALL about the adults.

It is all about serving the adults desires.
Not just the parents, but the relative who is serving their own desire to 'clothe a child', pick out what they think the child should wear, etc.

Unlesss it is an older child/teen who REALLY wants those Ugg boots, Under Armour Jacket, etc....
I would never, ever, buy clothing for a child as a Christmas gift.

And, ALL of the stuff from the one SIL was clothing....
Not one single fun item or toy???

Yes, this. I don't know about other people, but we always call and ask what out nephews and nieces would like for Christmas, and our family members do the same for us - we don't just go out and pick clothing. My DD is hard to fit, has to try everything on and has issues with bumps and seams and things not feeling right on her - we never receive clothing as gifts and are thankful for that.

 

[luvmy3]

Actually, the main thing i picked up was not the child making a face (that bothered me more that Mom is seeing "classic signs" as if she thinks this is normal and nothing to discourage), but the attitude of the OP. SHE (the adult) sounds ungrateful--she is seeing clothes and a blanket as something to jsut fold and put away and not fun at all. That is what bugged me and what I am guessing bugged many here.

I am coming to the party very late and haven't read the thread, but I did read the OP and that is exactly what I got from it.

OP, since you asked what we think. I think instead of being disappointed and thinking its ridiculous that someone dare give your child clothes, you use it as a teaching lesson for your dd, and maybe a learning one for yourself, that nobody is obligated to give you anything, and when they do, you are lucky that someone cares enough to give you a gift of any kind.

 

[cornflake]

Actually, the main thing i picked up was not the child making a face (that bothered me more that Mom is seeing "classic signs" as if she thinks this is normal and nothing to discourage), but the attitude of the OP. SHE (the adult) sounds ungrateful--she is seeing clothes and a blanket as something to jsut fold and put away and not fun at all. That is what bugged me and what I am guessing bugged many here.

Oh, and my kids are going to be 13 and 15 this week. That said, I can only think of two clothing items that they ever were not excited about (even at younger than 5) and in both cases they were still very polite about it. DS was sad once to get a box full of sweats as hand me downs. He is not fond of swaets and never has been (otherwise, he loves getting a box of han me downs) and DD was not excited once about something which was totally not her style (pink camouflaged pants). Otherwise, yes even at age 5 (and under) my kids (even the boy) have been happy to get clothes.

This exactly. It sounds like the OP was putting her attitude on the kid, projecting and sharing that clothes suck, she should have gotten toys, just fold them and put them away or return them. Like the description of the sweater - she says something like she thinks her daughter thought there was an animal in the box and she'll return it. Well, that sounds like they sure took it out and looked at it and the mother exclaimed that it was cool or cute - or totally the opposite of that.

Sounds like the boxes were barely opened before they were chucked aside. And even if a five-year-old was doing that because she was looking for toys because she somehow had the expectation that all gifts contain toys (which is an expectation she'd acquire someplace, it's not innate), that's when most parents redirect - say 'wait, let's see what Aunt Cindy got you - oh, it's a sweater! Look how cute, it's like....' you don't just watch the kid toss a box aside and not say anything, if you want to raise polite children.