Totally need encouragement

[bankgirl05]

Sooo OT I know, but I need some cheering up...
I start a new Job on Monday... I lost my last job due to budget cuts in November of '07, and just shortly after found out I was pregnant with DD (now 1). Because of the pregnancy we decided I could afford to stay home, so I have been a SAHM for over a year and a half now... but without benefits because I couldn't afford the $950 a month Cobra after 1 year.It's not that I don't want to work, I have worked my whole life, but... I don't wanna work!!! boohoo boohoo... I know how fortunate I am that this job is available to me, I actually had planned on starting to job search after the New Year, but I opened up the paper one day and there was a position that was exactly what I would have been looking for in January, so I figured I had better jump in there before it was gone. It's a really good job ( I hope) and they even brought the salary up to meet what I was asking for not that I asked for an over the top amount, after paying daycare and medical bene's I'll barely bring anything home...( but it makes me think I must have really impressed in my interview right?) so I guess what I need is for all of you to send me some positive thoughts to help get me feeling good about myself and re-entering the work force...

THANKS!!!

 

[DVCLiz]

Sooo OT I know, but I need some cheering up...
I start a new Job on Monday... I lost my last job due to budget cuts in November of '07, and just shortly after found out I was pregnant with DD (now 1). Because of the pregnancy we decided I could afford to stay home, so I have been a SAHM for over a year and a half now... but without benefits because I couldn't afford the $950 Cobra after 1 year.It's not that I don't want to work, I have worked my whole life, but... I don't wanna work!!! boohoo boohoo... I know how fortunate I am that this job is available to me, I actually had planned on starting to job search after the New Year, but I opened up the paper one day and there was a position that was exactly what I would have been looking for in January, so I figured I had better jump in there before it was gone. It's a really good job ( I hope) and they even brought the salary up to meet what I was asking for not that I asked for an over the top amount, after paying daycare and medical bene's I'll barely bring anything home...( but it makes me think I must have really impressed in my interview right?) so I guess what I need is for all of you to send me some positive thoughts to help get me feeling good about myself and re-entering the work force...

THANKS!!!

It's going to be OK. It will be a change and an adjustment, but you are doing what is right for your family at this time. Look at the next 20 years as a long process of making choices based on the best available options at the time. Taking a good job now doesn't mean limiting yourself to the same circumstances forever. If your family's needs or curcumstances change, you can change with them.

Finding good quality child care is a key, and if you are comfortable with your situation then you are ahead of the game. Just give yourself some time to work into the new job and the new way of doing things. You are still a great mom even if you are a working mom!!!

Think of the benefits of working and keep them in mind when you feel low. Yes, you are giving up some things but you are getting others. Just say, "This is the best choice for my family right now" if someone makes you doubt yourself.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Are you and your child currently covered by any medical plan? If not, will you be with the new job? IMO, if you really do not want to work, and you will be netting little or nothing, you should reconsider. But medical coverage is important and has to be factored into the equation - especially with a young child and the possibility of other children to come.

Only you know what is best for your family. Sometimes we do what we must instead of what we would like to do. But if you keep a positive attitude, you will find that this isn't as big a deal as you are projecting in your mind.

Good luck...

 

[bankgirl05]

Thanks DVCLIZ, you are right, it is what is best for my family right now, I just have to keep reminding myself of that. Plus DH thinks I'm going stir crazy anyhow, and now that we have booked our Disney Vacation for the end of Oct/beginning of Nov, he thinks that by going to work I wil stop planning obsessively boy does he have another think coming!!! I am sure that once I am established in my new office I will find another Disney lover to share with...
Hey! That's it, more oppurtunities to meet more Disney Fanatics!!!

still a little worried though...

 

[bankgirl05]

Are you and your child currently covered by any medical plan? If not, will you be with the new job? IMO, if you really do not want to work, and you will be netting little or nothing, you should reconsider. But medical coverage is important and has to be factored into the equation - especially with a young child and the possibility of other children to come.

Only you know what is best for your family. Sometimes we do what we must instead of what we would like to do. But if you keep a positive attitude, you will find that this isn't as big a deal as you are projecting in your mind.

Good luck...

Unfortunately, I don't have any current health insurance, Dh is self employed, so we can't afford it and the state programs say he makes too much (they go by bank statements on what is deposited, and don't look at what he pays out to suppliers,plus rent, utilities, car payments and ins, liability ins for the business, life ins for him (not me yet) etc... what a system, but that's another story... and the health insurance is my biggest issue since my (almost) 3 year old son has a congenital heart defect that he had to have open heart surgery for when he was born. SOOO... "hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go"

Thanks for the encouragement...

 

[alliesmommy]

I could have written your post. I went through the exact same thing. Laid off in Jan of '06, found out I was pregnant in May, decided to stay home with DD until she was 18 months. I thought when I had her, that I would be staying home until she started kindergarten, but it just wasn't in the cards for us. I dreaded sending her to daycare and worried that she wouldn't adjust. I will tell you, I bawled like a baby the day I had to drop her off, BUT it does get easier. It really has been good for DD to be in a classroom setting and be with other kids her age. She has learned so much in the year that she has been going. Do I feel guilty for putting her in daycare and not being home with her? Yes. But I make sure to spend as much quality time with her as I can once we are home. It has also been good for me to work because I feel like an adult. Just my two cents. Hope it eases your mind a little.

 

[bankgirl05]

I could have written your post. I went through the exact same thing. Laid off in Jan of '06, found out I was pregnant in May, decided to stay home with DD until she was 18 months. I thought when I had her, that I would be staying home until she started kindergarten, but it just wasn't in the cards for us. I dreaded sending her to daycare and worried that she wouldn't adjust. I will tell you, I bawled like a baby the day I had to drop her off, BUT it does get easier. It really has been good for DD to be in a classroom setting and be with other kids her age. She has learned so much in the year that she has been going. Do I feel guilty for putting her in daycare and not being home with her? Yes. But I make sure to spend as much quality time with her as I can once we are home. It has also been good for me to work because I feel like an adult. Just my two cents. Hope it eases your mind a little.

ooh!!! feeling like an adult!!! that's a good one too!!! Thanks!!!

 

[a1tinkfans]

Sooo OT I know, but I need some cheering up...
I start a new Job on Monday... I lost my last job due to budget cuts in November of '07, and just shortly after found out I was pregnant with DD (now 1). Because of the pregnancy we decided I could afford to stay home, so I have been a SAHM for over a year and a half now... but without benefits because I couldn't afford the $950 Cobra after 1 year.It's not that I don't want to work, I have worked my whole life, but... I don't wanna work!!! boohoo boohoo... I know how fortunate I am that this job is available to me, I actually had planned on starting to job search after the New Year, but I opened up the paper one day and there was a position that was exactly what I would have been looking for in January, so I figured I had better jump in there before it was gone. It's a really good job ( I hope) and they even brought the salary up to meet what I was asking for not that I asked for an over the top amount, after paying daycare and medical bene's I'll barely bring anything home...( but it makes me think I must have really impressed in my interview right?) so I guess what I need is for all of you to send me some positive thoughts to help get me feeling good about myself and re-entering the work force...

THANKS!!!

OH, CONGRATULATIONS for finding a JOB, for reaching out after being a SAHM and for forging ahead with your life and Bettering your situation! WAY TO GO!
I mean, from my way of thinking, even if the job is not going to make you millions, or make a Huge dent in your financial situation, think about...
YOU are back in the work force!
YOU impressed the heck out of 'em to hire you!
YOU will be able to network!
YOU will be gaining Experience in the "now" and building up that resume!

It may not even be your perfect job, but MAY lead to that down the road.

You have nothing to lose by trying it out. If it feels wrong for either personal/children concerns or anything else, you are not Tied to them, you'll think about that IF it happens and make the decison that is best for you/your family. .
So, again, CONGRATULATIONS, its not easy jumping back in!
Best of Luck to you and keep us posted as to how you are!

 

[bankgirl05]

OH, CONGRATULATIONS for finding a JOB, for reaching out after being a SAHM and for forging ahead with your life and Bettering your situation! WAY TO GO!
I mean, from my way of thinking, even if the job is not going to make you millions, or make a Huge dent in your financial situation, think about...
YOU are back in the work force!
YOU impressed the heck out of 'em to hire you!
YOU will be able to network!
YOU will be gaining Experience in the "now" and building up that resume!

It may not even be your perfect job, but MAY lead to that down the road.

You have nothing to lose by trying it out. If it feels wrong for either personal/children concerns or anything else, you are not Tied to them, you'll think about that IF it happens and make the decison that is best for you/your family. .
So, again, CONGRATULATIONS, its not easy jumping back in!
Best of Luck to you and keep us posted as to how you are!

OK!!! that made me smile a bit more!!! Thanks!!!

Thank God Dh will be dropping the kids at daycare the first couple of weeks (especially the first few days) so I won't go to work a bleary,teary eyed mess

 

[StephMK]

You can do this!! Sounds like it's a great opportunity, just a little earlier than planned. Give yourself 3 months to get used to your new schedule and you should be fine. Congrats & good luck!!

 

[toystorymom]

First of all, congratulations on your new job! That alone is quite an accomplishment these days, you should be proud of yourself.

You are doing what you need to do for your family, esp. getting health insurance, which is incredibly important. Sounds like you loved being at home but try to think of the positives of returning to work, earning a paycheck, new challenges, new friends, simply some time to be an adult. And just think how happy both you and the kids will be to see each other at the end of the day.

Good luck on Monday! Remember give it some time to work, you will all adjust.

 

[SpoiledDisFam]

Congrats on finding the job! I am going to be odd person out. My DH is a SAHD. So I have always worked, I make more $$$ than he does and with his disability (blind in one eye). It works.
Although, with our 2nd DD I did stay home longer on leave and then went back only part time for a while.

Good luck!!!

 

[darkeraven]

I know that it is difficult, but have faith in yourself. Be gentle on yourself, as gentle as you would be to a friend if the same thing happened to her.

Let us know how things turn out

 

[TarzansKat]

I haven't read all the responses, but I just wanted to go ahead and offer you another sympathetic ear. Or eyes, as the case may be.

I really know how you feel. After I had my son, I was all set to come back from maternity leave, and the museum I worked for informed me (through a letter) that my position had been eliminated. In that same letter they congratulated my on the birth of my son. It was one of the coldest, cruelest things I think I've experienced. I was naive to think things like that didn't happen anymore.

Suffice it to say, I took it as a sign and stayed home with my son for one wonderful year!

Then my husband lost his job. I can laugh about it now, but at the time, it was terrifying. We had money saved, and we dug into that pretty deeply. We were fortunate, though. We both started looking for work right away, pretty much found jobs around the same time, and have been with those jobs ever since.

I know that we are very blessed in this day and age to have our jobs, but that doesn't mean that I love going to work every day. It doesn't mean that some days I don't wish I could hang in the towel and go back to being a stay at home mom. Unfortunately in our situation, it's not a possibility, because I carry our health insurance. So I understand completely how you feel. You know what you need to do, you know that it's what is going to work for your family, but you know it's going to be hard.

I'm happy to listen any time you want, feel free to PM me even. I don't have many words of advice, just to go easy on yourself as you make the transition back into the workforce. My biggest blessing is that I only have to work part time in order to maintain the health insurance, so I still get three full days a week to spend with my son, who is now four.

I could go on and on, but I won't. I just want you to know that there is someone out there who has been through it, and who feels for you.

 

[bankgirl05]

Thanks Guys! Tomorrow's the big day and my eyes are welling up already. Maybe if i get mt crying over with today, I won't be teary eyed on the drive to work tomorrow. I keep tryingto tell myself it will be ok, but then one of my kids crawls in my lap, or I look at my daughter who is on the verge of taking her first steps, and think that I might miss them!!! and it waterworks all over again...

 

[MrsPooh]

You'll do great but it will be hard - speaking from personal experience.

When I was pg with youngest dd I was very ill and unable to work. While I was out sick I was informed that the sales force was cut from 39 down to 11 and I was one of the sales people losing their job. I was unable to work during my pregnancy and needed time to recover after before even being able to work.

I stayed at home and helped my dh with his business for dd's first two years but then we had an issue of needing health ins so back to work I had to go.

For me the hardest part was (and still is) leaving my dd and knowing that my older dd was home alone for alot of the summer. I really just want to be home with my kids. Like you, after daycare and insurance I don't bring home very much. I'm mostly working for health insurance which really stinks but is necessary.

The only thing that made me able to leave my little one was feeling very confident with who was watching my dd. I found a friend who homeschools and she agreed to watch my dd. It worked out great for a year until she had another of her own and couldn't watch mine also. For me it was ok because by then my dd was 3 and I felt she was ready for a traditional daycare setting. She loves "school" and I'm very happy with the teachers and directors.

I think the key is a childcare set-up you are happy with.

Good luck!!!!

 

[1stvisit0909]

Thanks Guys! Tomorrow's the big day and my eyes are welling up already. Maybe if i get mt crying over with today, I won't be teary eyed on the drive to work tomorrow. I keep tryingto tell myself it will be ok, but then one of my kids crawls in my lap, or I look at my daughter who is on the verge of taking her first steps, and think that I might miss them!!! and it waterworks all over again...

you wont miss them if you have quality childcare. Know why? 'cus quality childcare won't tell you if you missed them. I assume my youngest DDs first steps were the first wobbly steps I saw at home on a Saturday. They know how hard it is on us.

I was "fortunate" to be in grad school with my youngest (fortunate is in quotes because we were whew, poor!) but I was able to juggle my schedule and dh's schedule and we kept her at home for 3 years. My oldest, however, went to dc at 12 wks...MAN that was tough. But I told them, listen, if I hadn't told you she's done x y or z...sitting up, crawling walking, then she DOES NOT do it hear first ok? I dont want to hear it. Even if she does, don't tell me. They were great, and maybe she did maybe she didn't, but they never said she did. So I believe I saw her firsts at home. Thats the way I worked it!

Is it tough? Yes. But my kids are happy healthy, and have health insurance. Which we wouldn't have if I wasn't working. We didnt until I stated working with my youngest was 3. Before that she was on childrens medicaid, but I wasn't.

 

[bankgirl05]

you wont miss them if you have quality childcare. Know why? 'cus quality childcare won't tell you if you missed them. I assume my youngest DDs first steps were the first wobbly steps I saw at home on a Saturday. They know how hard it is on us.

I was "fortunate" to be in grad school with my youngest (fortunate is in quotes because we were whew, poor!) but I was able to juggle my schedule and dh's schedule and we kept her at home for 3 years. My oldest, however, went to dc at 12 wks...MAN that was tough. But I told them, listen, if I hadn't told you she's done x y or z...sitting up, crawling walking, then she DOES NOT do it hear first ok? I dont want to hear it. Even if she does, don't tell me. They were great, and maybe she did maybe she didn't, but they never said she did. So I believe I saw her firsts at home. Thats the way I worked it!

Good Idea! well survived DAY 1 without tucking my skirt into my panthose (wore pants) tripping and falling on my face (walked slowly) or bawling my eyes out (made DH drop kids off at daycare) but there's always tomorrow...