TORRICELLI QUITS SENATE RACE; WILL BECOME CORRUPT CEO INSTEAD
Senator to Focus on Being Private Sector Sleazebag
Senator Robert Torricelli (D-NJ) abandoned his re-election bid today, saying he hoped to realize a lifelong dream of being the disgraced CEO of a publicly held company.
I think I have a lot to give the private sector and a lot to take, too, Senator Torricelli told a crowd of supporters in Trenton.
Senator Torricellis decision to become a private sector sleazebag is particularly well-timed, corporate headhunters say, because so many corporate sleazebags are either already in prison or heading there, resulting in a serious sleazebag shortage in the nations executive suites.
By accepting illegal campaign gifts, Senator Torricelli has already demonstrated that he has the skill-set necessary to be a truly dynamic CEO sleazebag, says Jake Hennessy of the leading sleazebag headhunting firm Weasel Systems, Inc.
I should think that publicly held companies will be lining up around the block for the privilege of having Senator Torricelli rob them blind, Mr. Hennessy says.
Senator Torricelli would neither confirm nor deny rumors that he was headed for the CEO chair soon to be vacated by scandal-shrouded domestic diva Martha Stewart, brushing aside the question of a reporter who claimed to have seen him wearing an apron at a Manhattan TV studio, stuffing a pheasant and making heated calls to his stockbroker.
Instead, Senator Torricelli said he would take a few weeks off before jumping into the demanding world of private sector sleaze.
Id like to take a vacation, spend some time with my family, and move my remaining campaign funds out of the country, Senator Torricelli said.
Senator to Focus on Being Private Sector Sleazebag
Senator Robert Torricelli (D-NJ) abandoned his re-election bid today, saying he hoped to realize a lifelong dream of being the disgraced CEO of a publicly held company.
I think I have a lot to give the private sector and a lot to take, too, Senator Torricelli told a crowd of supporters in Trenton.
Senator Torricellis decision to become a private sector sleazebag is particularly well-timed, corporate headhunters say, because so many corporate sleazebags are either already in prison or heading there, resulting in a serious sleazebag shortage in the nations executive suites.
By accepting illegal campaign gifts, Senator Torricelli has already demonstrated that he has the skill-set necessary to be a truly dynamic CEO sleazebag, says Jake Hennessy of the leading sleazebag headhunting firm Weasel Systems, Inc.
I should think that publicly held companies will be lining up around the block for the privilege of having Senator Torricelli rob them blind, Mr. Hennessy says.
Senator Torricelli would neither confirm nor deny rumors that he was headed for the CEO chair soon to be vacated by scandal-shrouded domestic diva Martha Stewart, brushing aside the question of a reporter who claimed to have seen him wearing an apron at a Manhattan TV studio, stuffing a pheasant and making heated calls to his stockbroker.
Instead, Senator Torricelli said he would take a few weeks off before jumping into the demanding world of private sector sleaze.
Id like to take a vacation, spend some time with my family, and move my remaining campaign funds out of the country, Senator Torricelli said.
