too soon?

[California Girl]

zzzzzzzzz

 

[pattyT]

as lopng as your kids are NOT involved - whatever you want...
I would NOT put the kids through getting to know him and when the chemistry fizzles and hes gone - they will be the ones heartbroken more than you!
As long as youput the kids first -
whatever

 

[HoneyPooh]

Ditto what PattyT said. Don't rush it and don't involve the kids yet.

 

[MsLeFever]

Be careful - if you aren't divorced yet could the soon-to-be ex use this relationship against you?

 

[mudnuri]

dh and i seperated 7mo ago. divorce not yet final. two kids, ds age 7 and dd age 4.
started seeing someone a few weeks ago. lots of chemestry. could this be the one?
some of my friends say this is too soon. should i care?
kids don't know yet since most time we spend together is when they are with x.
any ideas?

hmmmmm are you me? LOL

I too do not involve my DD's in what I do when they are at their fathers.....maybe someday in the next 3 years they'll meet him LOL.....no rush for that for me.

I am just sitting back and enjoying the company, and the way it makes me feel, trying not to analyze whats going on...so far so good.....but its easier for me, as he's 3 hours away for 10-11 days at a time, then only home for 3 days....

Brandy

 

[Christine]

Yeah, too soon.

Widely know but little published fact: "chemistry" is actually a hormonal response in the body and lasts about 18 months. That's the "rush" most people feel in a new relationship. See how you feel in two years.

 

[SleepyMom]

From personal experience it may not be too soon, but don't get the kids involved until you know more.

I met my now DH soon after the X was gone, I thought it was too soon as well and took it very slow. I did not want to go down that road again. At first we would only go out when DD was at her dad's.

We dated for a long time before he met my DD, and even then it wasn't anything official. I didn't have him come over and introduce him as mommy's new boyfriend, we would "run" into him while we were out somewhere, spend some time together and then he would leave and she and I would go about our day.

We've been happily married for almost 15 years now

 

[DwarfMaster]

No not too soon ~ like others have said...please keep the kids out of it for a little while

DH & I have been seperated for 2 Months now...Divorce filed but not final until 90 days. We have been together since high school ~ 10 years! He's already started taking DS9 & DD4 to his new girlfriends house. The fact that he has a new girlfriend doesn't bother me, its the fact that he's involving the children already that irks me!

 

[Poohgirl]

I agree with the other posters not to rush into things. After my husband and I separated I began dating a friend of a friend almost immediately. It wasn't anything serious but a good support. My children didn't meet him for several months and even then to them he was just a family "friend". After about a year he became more involved. We have been together over 5 years now, so it can happen.

 

[poohandwendy]

dh and i seperated 7mo ago. divorce not yet final. two kids, ds age 7 and dd age 4.
started seeing someone a few weeks ago. lots of chemestry. could this be the one?
some of my friends say this is too soon. should i care?
kids don't know yet since most time we spend together is when they are with x.
any ideas?

Not too soon to be enjoying someone elses company, but too soon to be thinking about about whether or not he is 'the one', IMHO.

I would take it slow, especially because you have children. There is no rush.

Chemistry means nothing in the long run. It's easy to be attracted to someone...the real test is if you are compatable for the long haul. It takes time, lots of it, to determine that.

I would add that you should be extra careful because you are in a vulnerable position (recently failed marriage and small children). You have lots to lose by jumping in too quickly on the rebound from a failed marriage.

(The above is based on only my personal opinion, I wish you luck whatever you decide for yourself)

 

[TigerBear]

Yeah, too soon.

Widely know but little published fact: "chemistry" is actually a hormonal response in the body and lasts about 18 months. That's the "rush" most people feel in a new relationship. See how you feel in two years.

From personal experience I think physical chemistry can feel even more amazing after you are getting out of a bad relationship. It's like a "I really am alive" feeling. My advice: take things slowly. If he is the one you will know it.

 

[poohandwendy]

From personal experience I think physical chemistry can feel even more amazing after you are getting out of a bad relationship. It's like a "I really am alive" feeling.

Exactly, that is why it is not a good indicator of someone being 'the one'.

 

[SillyMe]

I agree with everyone who said to keep the kids out of it. They're probably still trying to adjust to the separation. I think at this point to bring someone else into the picture could turn their world upside down again...and then AGAIN if it doesn't work out between the two of you.

I would keep it quiet, not make it an issue of him being "the one" and just enjoy the company and have some fun.

 

[California Girl]

thanks for the advice. i probably should just take a deep breath and a step back until things settle down....kids gotta be #1 right now.

 

[va32h]

Too soon for what? Getting married again? It's way too soon for that, as you are still married to your soon-to-be ex.

Just remember that soon-to-be-ex was "the one" once too, wasn't he?

If your previous relationship was so bad that it had to end in divorce, being with anyone new is going to seem like heaven.

And since he hasn't met your kids yet (which I agree is a good thing) you don't know how he will relate to them, which could make the issue of whether he is "the one" for you irrelevant. He would have to be "the one" for all of you.

I would probably wait until your divorce was final before considering having him meet your children. I met my father's new girlfriend when my parents were still separated - when I still had the fantasy that they might get back together (which I think most kids do). Meeting her was a big slap in the face, and although she & my dad both swore he wasn't seeing her before he left, I never really believed it (still don't. 28 years later!).

 

[Disney Doll]

Have you mourned your marriage? Have your children mourned the loss of their family unit?

I'd agree to keep the kids out of it for a while. I'd agree to take it slow. If he's "the one", he'll wait.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Yeah, too soon.

Widely know but little published fact: "chemistry" is actually a hormonal response in the body and lasts about 18 months. That's the "rush" most people feel in a new relationship. See how you feel in two years.

Very good point. I was just about to say this.

My cousin has put her kids through meeting several men and always rushes into things. I echo the others. Do what you want, but don't get the kids involved.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

I waited 2 years. That was just perfect. I tried dating before that, but it was just way too soon.

 

[Christine]

I wanted to clarify my original post. No, it's not too soon to be dating and getting to know people. Especially if your past relationship has been sour for awhile. It is time to move on.

I meant that it is too soon to know if this one is "THE" one. Way to soon.