I don't understand leaving your kids like that, and I do not think it in any way is courageous or shows that you love your kids.
That said, I hate that women who do this are villianized more than men (and they ARE) and I think making it into too much of an issue DOES encourage some of the less mentally stable "bad" moms out there (and, I would say the mom in the story qualifies) to try harm their children and try to make it look like someone else did it--as a way to "escape" without living with the stigma of being a bad parent.
I also think it is terrible that society DOES pressure people to have children (and then is surprised when some who do don't end up being good parents). A PP noted that people always tell her she'll feel differently about kids if they are her own. WHY pressure someone who does not want to have kids to have them???
My sister and brother in law are childless by choice. They both agree that they do not have what it takes to offer a child the kind of love and attention s/he ought to have. I can;t tell you how many times even I have heard people tell them they are "selfish" or "lazy" for not having kids. People even said so in toasts at their wedding!
I think we, as a society, need to stop pressuring people to have children, or idolizing what it is like to have them, and we also need to understand that while someone who leaves their kids is NOT a good parent, or courageous, they are likely still then doing the best thing possible for the kids if they do not love or care about the kids enough to want to stay. Rather than pushing such parents into staying for fear of being looked down upon by society, just say "good riddance" and do our best to make life good for the kids in any other ways we can.
This sounds like the natural outcome /natural consequence of the "all things are acceptable" mentality that we as a society have adopted over the last few decades:
All choices are equal.
No one else has a right to question my moral decisions.
We all deserve this or that commercial product.
We have a right to happiness, no matter what that may mean to others.
Right and wrong are subjective.
This woman's choice to abandon her family is an extreme result of the "everyone gets a trophy" concept -- the adult version is "everyone can do anything they please".
Plenty of adults have already abandoned their children (or spouses, or other family members) -- even if they still live in the same household. Plenty of adults have put their own happiness first and ignored their children's needs. This woman's case is much, much more extreme than average, but she's not alone.
Somehow we've got to get back to some old-fashioned values, and we've got to realize that our actions do matter -- to our own futures, and to our children's futures. We've got to realize that sometimes putting aside your own happiness is the mature, adult thing to do.
I don't like the "everyone gets a trophy" thing, and I do think it contributes to issues with more and more adults not being able to cope, in a healthy way, with disappointment and frustration. But, I do not think it relates to this case at all. There have always been parents (both mothers and fathers) who leave their kids to selfishly go off and do whatever makes them happy. My oldest uncle was almost 3 when my grandfather came back from WWII to find that his son had been left at his parent's house with a letter from his wife that she had expected him to die and thought it would be fun to be a "war widow" but did not want to be married and hated having to care for a child, so she was leaving for good.
My uncle was an adult before he saw his birth mom again, and she expressed no regret at all about leaving to have the life she really wanted.
My cousins girlfriend left him and her three boys ages 2,3 and 5 (one was his, two were not but one of those he had been a father figure to since he was an infant). She came back once, a couple of weeks later, to get Her Wii that she forgot to take initially--she pried the controller out of the hands of her 5 year old and then pried the kid off of her and left. She signed over all custody rights and has not seen the younger two in the last 15 years (I do not know about the older one, the father of the oldest two wanted the one son back, but not the other and signed over legally custody of the other to my cousin--an HE has not seen that boy in all this time either; will not allow the brothers to have any contact).
There are now, and have always been, terrible parents out there. this is not new.
Actually, I don't think this is a part of that trend at all. There have always been a small number of women who abandon their children, either altogether or by making sure they have someone to look after them. These children are looked after, at least. Some women make truly terrible mothers, as some men make terrible fathers. Do I applaud them for leaving their children? No. They should never have had them at all. Do I think it's the better option if they do leave them, assuming someone else (the other parent, grandparents, the state even) can step in to take care of the kids? Heck yes.
