Toddler Harness-To leash or not to leash

[smidgy]

You can't, not with twins. Sure, take them for a walk in the neighborhood, and when one darts into the street and gets hit by a car, you better believe he will have learned his lesson. Or when the other runs up to a house, just grab the remaining one, and bolt after him - it's wonderful exercise. What is really fun is when they run in opposite directions - now is the time you have to pick your favorite!
We lost our runner many times - pretty much whenever he wasn't confined to a stroller or leashed. Always got him back, though. However, in dark and crowded situations, we found it easier to put on a harness than search for hours later on. I also had a child who was a mommy magnet, and never left my side. The other 3 were somewhere in the middle, but at least they weren't runners.

He did learn by preschool. It would've been nice if we could've explained to him, around the age of 1 1/2 or so, that we would like for him to walk along side of, and not take off. However, for some reason, those conversations went right over his head. He also LOVED his harness (his twin did, too).

Personally, I think strollers are way more confining for young children, like little wheelchairs. I liked to let mine out enough that, they were not always content to just be pushed around, sucking down golfish and cherrios like some other toddlers.

you have a great way with words!!!! andbless you for not caving into others and doing what you know is right for your family.

 

[CarolineB]

I used the harness for my 3 trips with DS when he was between 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 years old (just me and DS on all the trips.) He didn't like holding hands and the harness was a practical solution for when he wasn't strapped in his stroller.

I remember an incident at the Living with the Land ride (at that time there was still a CM boat captain speaking in front of the boat) that DS wanted to jump off the boat -- I'm not saying that the harness was what stopped him from jumping off the boat but before the ride started the person that I was sitting next to questioned me about using a harness. The CM really had to focus to keep speaking despite this obvious disruption right in front of him. I think that after seeing the incident, the person that questioned me may be had a better understanding of why he was harnessed.

A lot of times that I did let DS have some freedom when an area in a park wasn't crowded or to take a nice photo without the leash, DS wandered away.

Except for airports, I don't remember using the leash past 3 years of age. I still brought his stroller for a week long trip to Legoland when he was 5 years old but certainly he wasn't leashed.

DS is now 8 and still doesn't like holding hands, was diagnosed with ADHD at an early age, has sensory and other behavioral issues. However, he can walk on his own at WDW and understands rules and boundaries a lot better but he still has his moment when he "forgets." He understand consequences, the counting to 3 method, and other techniques. I think most kids outgrow the need for harnesses -- you generally don't see school-age kids harnessed.

By the way, my son knows that he was leashed as a toddler and being able to be to walk independently at WDW is something that he is actually proud of.


Like the other posters have said, I think you should just do what feels right for you but understand that you may get comments if your child is wearing a harness.

 

[smidgy]

I was at an amusement park last year and there was a couple with a little boy who had on one of those backpack leashes-the kid ran all over the place to the length of his leash while his parents hung on and looked at their phones! I moved all my kids and me over to the edge of the sidewalk so we didn't get entangled-I don't think the parents even noticed, and had one of us tripped over the leash, their kid could have gotten hurt.

:

now this is a WHOLE other topic: phones!!! in this case it sounds like the problem was not the "leashes", but the preoccupation with phones.

I am a waitress, and I can't believe how many people go out to diner and spend the whoel time not talking to each other, but testing, facebooking,etc etc on their phones.

last few trips to WDW, can't believe how mnay people missed vacation time with their family, and probably most of WDW, staring at their stupid phones!!

so, in this case, I don't think the leashes were the problem, but the distraction of the cell phones.

 

[herdtoDisney]

now this is a WHOLE other topic: phones!!! in this case it sounds like the problem was not the "leashes", but the preoccupation with phones.

I am a waitress, and I can't believe how many people go out to diner and spend the whoel time not talking to each other, but testing, facebooking,etc etc on their phones.

last few trips to WDW, can't believe how mnay people missed vacation time with their family, and probably most of WDW, staring at their stupid phones!!

so, in this case, I don't think the leashes were the problem, but the distraction of the cell phones.

Well, I think the leash was defenitely part of the problem, because the parents were letting the kid run around lunging like an untrained puppy, and nearly stringing up a couple of us walking by. I understand the leashes as a safety feature, but they should still have been holding the kid's hand or at least paying attention to him. In this instance, he'd of been better off in a stroller, since they were ignoring him. The phones are defenitely an isssue, I agree-I wanted to say (but didn't) HANG UP AND PARENT!

 

[mossyoak725]

I used a "leash" way back when-- like 15 years ago. Talk about comments. BUt having a 4, 2 and 1 year old it was just practical for me. I had a double stroller that was HUGE and impractical. I only used it at the mall, zoo and such. Heck, at one time I had two of them. But they were a life saver for me and my sanity. We are planning a trip in November wtih grandson who will be 18 months and me and his mom have gotten one just as back up if he wants out of stroller. I can not imagine him getting lost even if for a few minutes.
For the poster who said not to have more kids....really?? All mine were not planned but a blessing no matter what.

 

[Boiseboone]

We've never used a harness before, but I'm buying one before our trip to DL next month.
Why? Because my kiddo is 18 months old, athletic and likes to run. He's not going to want to sit all day. Oh, and he's 18 months old. Plus, you know, he's 18 months old.

If anyone gives me any snarky comments about treating my kid like a dog, this is how I plan to respond:

"Actually, he doesn't mind the leash a bit. It's when we crate him at night that he gets upset."

Judgmental losers don't get to have a say in my life, thanks.

 

[ttintagel]

I look at a harness as comparable to training wheels on a bike. You can still teach your kid to stay with you, hold hands, etc.; you just have a little insurance while they're still learning.

 

[ScrampShopper]

I sure wish I had one of those children that are content to sit in a stroller. Heck, I would take a kid who is willing to stay still for 30 seconds. DD (almost 2) can't even stay still when she sleeps, and she does not like being confined to anything. Every minute in a highchair, stroller, crib, car seat (infant carrier), shopping cart is a screaming struggle. I wear her in the Ergo at the airport, and she is starting to resist that as well. She will not hold my hand for very long, and has a very short attention span when I tell her to stay close. And she is a runner. She wears the monkey leash at the mall, zoo, Disney, and even that only works for short periods of time before she starts pulling to get away.

No type of punishment has worked to get her out of this, no type of reasoning has worked. She won't even let us carry her for more than a couple of minutes because she just wants to run. Best of all, she has learned the word help and uses it interchangeably for please. If you think people give funny and judgmental looks when she is on a leash, you should see the looks I get when I'm trying to strap her in the stroller or carry her away from something while she is screaming Help, Help!

She is slowly getting better, but I will need to use a leash until I can get her to understand why she can't just run all the time. She is a super active kid (she could follow me around the house at 2.5 months old!) and very curious about everything she comes across.
At least she loves her stroller at nap time, but not a second longer!

 

[Mom2six]

I think that leashing a special needs child would be even worse than an average hyperactive child. I'm not a perfect parent and will make mistakes in my life but I feel very strongly that leashes are not for people, young or old, special needs or not. I treat my kids with respect and leashing a child is disrespectful! Side note, if they didn't make cute little monkey back pack, society friendly child harnesses, would you just tie a rope around the child's chest?

Then lets all be super thankful you aren't the parent of a child that needs this type of protection because you would be the parent of a dead child. Some people really don't know what they are talking about, but yet still feel the need to make ridiculous comments.

 

[smitch425]

Then lets all be super thankful you aren't the parent of a child that needs this type of protection because you would be the parent of a dead child. Some people really don't know what they are talking about, but yet still feel the need to make ridiculous comments.

I agree, but I will add that ridiculous comments are coming from BOTH sides of the issue.

 

[Mom2six]

Leashes are for pets, not children. If you can't run after your child it's time to invest in a gym membership or bootcamp or keep them in a stoller. I could never embarrass my child or myself by displaying my inability to keep up with her.

Yep, I'm sure it would be less embarassing to run after her into the street and have her get hit by a car. Sure you can chase your child, and hey that could be your gym workout, but while running after your little darling, you are not in control of his or her safetly. How is that safe? Or is your public embarassement more important than safety? You could keep them in the stroller, but of course they certainly won't be physically healthy if they spend all their time sitting, now will they?

 

[Hannathy]

I sure wish I had one of those children that are content to sit in a stroller.

Again just because I don't like nor will use a leash doesn't mean my kids stayed in a stroller, let alone strapped.

Mine were in a stroller very little. They walked.

 

[Effervescent00]

Long time lurker on the board, but this topic is near and dear to my heart.

We were at WDW at New Years 2011-2012, and we were so glad we leashed our 2 year-old daughter. We had been to WDW several times before, but we were stunned at the crowds this time. It was truly a safety issue: you could turn your back for one moment, and your child would be GONE.

It was our first time using the leash, and it worked so well! At the beginning of the day, our DD would stand perfectly still while we attached it to her, and then once she heard the "click," she could run, run, run as much as she wanted (which meant a brisk walk for us). It was a win-win! She had the opportunity to run around Disney to her heart's content while we had the peace of mind that she was safe during one of the busiest holidays of the year.

When we were waiting in line or when the crowds thinned out in spots, we would simply "unhook" the clasp, hold her hand, or put her on DH's shoulders. When we wanted to quickly get her out of a crowded situation, my husband would pick her up by the harness, and she would giggle and "air walk" until we got her to a clear spot. The benefit of letting her exercise was that by the afternoon, she would have a snack, climb into her stroller and contentedly nap for two hours each day. That left us with a very content toddler who threw NO tantrums during our entire trip. None.

We don't use it around town, but I think it is truly a good safety tool for theme parks or crowded places.

 

[Missy13d69]

I love the responses of how "children need to learn to stay with you", or "how are they going to learn to stay with you if they are on a leash?"

My take on it, is that a leash can be a teaching tool. High spirited runners can learn to stay by their parent's side, by being on that leash.

All you "perfect" parents, who have "perfect" children, are so awesome.

No two kids are created equal, and just because your perfect little angel was able to learn to stay with you without such "horrible" things like being on a leash, doesn't mean everyone's kids are like your's. Get over it.

Just a thought though, did you teach your kids to read by giving them a book and explaining to them that they need to read it? Are you going to teach them to drive by handing them the car keys and explaining to them that they shouldn't wreck the car? No, you use some kind of method of teaching these things? Huh...

 

[Hannathy]

Just a thought though, did you teach your kids to read by giving them a book and explaining to them that they need to read it? Are you going to teach them to drive by handing them the car keys and explaining to them that they shouldn't wreck the car? No, you use some kind of method of teaching these things? Huh...

Wow you know the only people saying perfect are the leash people against the people who don't use them. Interesting. I have yet to hear an anti leash person call them selves perfect. Nor call their kids perfect. Only seeing it used as a derogatory term thrown at the other side.

By the way there are other methods of teaching children to stay with you than a leash. So who on here ever said they didn't TEACH their child to stay with them? We just used another method than leashes.

So yes we use a teaching method, just choose to not put them on leashes and use other forms.

 

[smitch425]

All you "perfect" parents, who have "perfect" children, are so awesome.

Ugh...show me ONE post where ANYONE claimed to be perfect. Can you do that?

For the record, my DS started reading on his own at age 3, but he is not perfect. I am not perfect. As a matter of fact, I have never met anyone in my life that was perfect. This whole "non-leash users are 'perfect parents'" garbage is getting old.

If you use a leash, great. If you don't, great. Your kid, your decision. Simple as that.

 

[smidgy]

I look at a harness as comparable to training wheels on a bike. You can still teach your kid to stay with you, hold hands, etc.; you just have a little insurance while they're still learning.

well said

 

[Missy13d69]

Wow you know the only people saying perfect are the leash people against the people who don't use them. Interesting. I have yet to hear an anti leash person call them selves perfect. Nor call their kids perfect. Only seeing it used as a derogatory term thrown at the other side.

By the way there are other methods of teaching children to stay with you than a leash. So who on here ever said they didn't TEACH their child to stay with them? We just used another method than leashes.

So yes we use a teaching method, just choose to not put them on leashes and use other forms.

I have never used a leash on a single one of my children. I have never had the need. But I do understand that all children are different, and that not every child can just be told to stay with their parents. A lot of the people who made comments against leashing, were very high and mighty about how their children were easily taught to stay with them. I refer to them as "perfect" because the obviously think they are better than the pro-leashers from the comments they made.

 

[Missy13d69]

Ugh...show me ONE post where ANYONE claimed to be perfect. Can you do that?

For the record, my DS started reading on his own at age 3, but he is not perfect. I am not perfect. As a matter of fact, I have never met anyone in my life that was perfect. This whole "non-leash users are 'perfect parents'" garbage is getting old.

If you use a leash, great. If you don't, great. Your kid, your decision. Simple as that.

I'm a non-leash user. But I have sense enough to know not all kids are the same, and some parents need a little extra help.

And nobody came right out and said, "I'm perfect", but their attitudes and their words sure screamed it.

Oh, and no child just "starts reading on their own", you taught him by reading to him. You read, they follow the words, they learn to read. Outstanding job on that. Seriously. Not enough people take the time to read to their children, especially not enough that the child learns to read.

 

[smidgy]

I am 55. raised two sons. have a few grandkids.

fads come and go, as do the "newest" baby/kids "must haves"

when I first started getting invited to baby showers for the next generation after my boys, I was amazed at something that was NOT on the lists. but I was going to buy it anyway.... except.. they don't "make" them anymore...


a PLAY PEN!!!!!!! anyone my age remember them? they were a God send. every living room had one somewhere in the middle or in the corner. the older kid could play with toys that little parts without the little one "gobbling up" said little parts.

mom could clean while baby was happily playing with age appropriate toys, and no worry about lttile johnny eating something he shouldn't have.

guess they don't make them anymore.. I know they make mobile cribs. I think for a while they made what they called "play YARDS" (euphenism..).


I guess it isn't politically correct anymore to "put" kids in a somewhat "Jail", anymore thanit is politically "correct to use a so called "leash"...... shheeesh.. whatever......

but then again, I put a little whiskey on my babies gums if they were teething, and corn starch on their diaper rash. or, better, yet, let them run aroun in the buff for a while to get rid of that nasty rash..... I listened to my 'wizened "mom and grandmom, and mom-in-law.. silly me..

in this day and age, I guess the old "playpen" would be considered a "jail" and child abuse.

again.. I wish they had invented those wonderful, cute child restraints (you don't HAVE to call them leashes) when my kids were little... heck, I wish I had invented them!!!!