Toddler Harness-To leash or not to leash

[smitch425]

Oh, and no child just "starts reading on their own", you taught him by reading to him. You read, they follow the words, they learn to read. Outstanding job on that. Seriously. Not enough people take the time to read to their children, especially not enough that the child learns to read.

I would love to take more credit for his reading, but honestly the child wasn't much for sitting and reading. He watched Sesame Street and taught himself how to use the computer and has a photographic memory. If he asked what something said, I told him once and it stuck. I used to get so aggrevated with him because he could read an entire book but he couldn't pee in the potty until he was 4! I would always tell him, "if you can read, then you can pee in the right place!" He was already reading pretty well at 3 and his sister was 5 and was an average reader. Everytime she hesitated on a word he would blurt it out and she'd get mad so we had to ban him from her reading time. Drove her nuts.

This just goes to show that ALL kids are different. No one should be judged. Especially strangers in a theme park that you will likely never see again in your lifetime. Why waste even a second of your time questioning someone you have no connection to whatsoever? Doesn't make a lot of sense to me. As long as your leash is not wrapped around me or tripping my kids, I don't think anything of it.

 

[smidgy]

I was never fortunate enough to have daughters, but I will tell all you young moms what I told my daughters-in-law:
(and this pertains to "leashes, breastfeeding, or anything else):

read books, listen to your mom. listen to me, listen to your friends.... and.. in the end....and this is the MOST important thing!!.....

do what works BEST for YOU!!!

 

[smitch425]

I was never fortunate enough to have daughters, but I will tell all you young moms what I told my daughters-in-law:
(and this pertains to "leashes, breastfeeding, or anything else):

read books, listen to your mom. listen to me, listen to your friends.... and.. in the end....and this is the MOST important thing!!.....

do what works BEST for YOU!!!

 

[Missy13d69]

I would love to take more credit for his reading, but honestly the child wasn't much for sitting and reading. He watched Sesame Street and taught himself how to use the computer and has a photographic memory. If he asked what something said, I told him once and it stuck. I used to get so aggrevated with him because he could read an entire book but he couldn't pee in the potty until he was 4! I would always tell him, "if you can read, then you can pee in the right place!" He was already reading pretty well at 3 and his sister was 5 and was an average reader. Everytime she hesitated on a word he would blurt it out and she'd get mad so we had to ban him from her reading time. Drove her nuts.

This just goes to show that ALL kids are different. No one should be judged. Especially strangers in a theme park that you will likely never see again in your lifetime. Why waste even a second of your time questioning someone you have no connection to whatsoever? Doesn't make a lot of sense to me. As long as your leash is not wrapped around me or tripping my kids, I don't think anything of it.

Sounds like you have a little genius on your hands! I don't know whether to congratulate you or console you. That is the definition of the term of something being both "a blessing and a curse". I bet he's a hoot though, it sure sounds like he entertains his sister!

 

[smitch425]

Sounds like you have a little genius on your hands! I don't know whether to congratulate you or console you. That is the definition of the term of something being both "a blessing and a curse". I bet he's a hoot though, it sure sounds like he entertains his sister!

Some days it is definitely a CURSE! I'm not sure "entertains" would be DD's word of choice. They are either the best of friends or trying to kill each other. Not a lot of in between these days!

 

[mjkacmom]

a PLAY PEN!!!!!!! anyone my age remember them? they were a God send. every living room had one somewhere in the middle or in the corner. the older kid could play with toys that little parts without the little one "gobbling up" said little parts.
!!!!

My mom found this out when I was pregnant, and God bless her, she found one at a garage sale! That thing lasted all through 8 grandkids at her house. She has an inground pool in her yard, and that pen was out there every summer. A pack and play is no match for a full-sized playpen!

 

[marmalade]

My mom found this out when I was pregnant, and God bless her, she found one at a garage sale! That thing lasted all through 8 grandkids at her house. She has an inground pool in her yard, and that pen was out there every summer. A pack and play is no match for a full-sized playpen!

Why did they stop making the playpen? Is it because of PC parents? I wanted one when my DD7 was born, but they no longer existed. I think they should bring the playpen back.

 

[smitch425]

Why did they stop making the playpen? Is it because of PC parents? I wanted one when my DD7 was born, but they no longer existed. I think they should bring the playpen back.

They still make them. Just google "playpen".

 

[marmalade]

They still make them. Just google "playpen".

Well I guess I am a day late and a dollar short.

 

[Gina-Gina-Bo-Bina]

Interesting thread. When my son was a young child (many moons ago ) we used a harness. And yes, we heard about it from many folks who seemed to think they had a right to an opinion.

To the OP, if you feel that your child would benefit from the use of a harness, by all means USE IT and feel no guilt. You owe no one an explanation or an apology.

For my son, he was an active child who craved his independence. He also had the tendency to react first and think later (the neighbours cat, a passing farm tractor, or anything in between could send him in hot pursuit in the blink of an eye.....and holy moly, that kids little legs could MOVE!). In contrast, I craved the security of knowing he could not put himself in harms way. The Mother Bear Instinct, if you will. In addition, a pet peeve of mine are kids running amok because their parents won't put any constraints in place (whether it be by holding a hand, placing them in a stroller, or gasp using a harness). The harness allowed us both to achieve what we needed, and we were both happier (and more relaxed) as a result. As he grew older and had the capacity to fully understand the need for safety first (and possessed the maturity to make better decisions), we were able to rid ourselves of the harness while continuing with his independence and remaining within my comfort zone.

The same little impulsive boy is now a leader among his peers, an honour roll student, an active volunteer within his community, and the kind of kid that holds the respect of every person who meets him. He is confident, well adjusted and self-assured. It appears he was, in no way, demoralized or scarred by my decision to use a harness while he was a toddler.

I think even small kids can sense when a disciplinary tactic or parenting decision is being implemented out of love. And I think for most of us parents, that's the motivator. We love our kids enough to keep them safe, yet we also love them enough to give them the independence they crave. Not saying that those that choose differently don't love their kids any differently or any less. Love is conveyed to different people in different ways.

Quite honestly, it surprises me that so many people feel they have a right to an opinion on other people's choices. If its not the harness issue, its often the number of children people have ("he can't grow up an only child...he has to have a brother or sister"), how close or far apart siblings are born, or even what school system they attend (my inlaws are still horrified that my non-catholic child is being educated in a catholic school). No one knows your child better than you do. Make your best decision based on love, and no one else's two cents matter.

 

[Iluvshoes531]

I just bought the Mickey mouse harness for our upcoming trip in June. My son will be 22 months old and would not he happy in the stroller. Besides, when you take him out to get in line and then try to put him back in... he acts like there are hot pokers in the stroller...lol. We have let him wear Mickey around the house and he just loves it. You know your child and if having him walk and be safe....then who cares what anyone else thinks.

 

[weedles]

I find it interesting that as soon as someone on this thread says they don't believe in the use of a leash, they are immediately accused of thinking of themselves as "perfect parents" that need to enlighten leash users. I haven't read ONE post that said anything about leash users being terrible parents, so what is with the attitude???

I could give a flying flip if you want to put a leash on your kid, but you better believe you will get an earful from me if your kid is no longer being watched because they are leashed, and they trip my kid. It happened more than once on our last trip. Just because they are leashed doesn't mean you can take your eyes off of them. Nothing like a sweaty stranger's kid wrapping themselves around your legs in a crowd. It is disgusting and awkward to have some sweaty, strange man trying to untangle their kid from your body, who continues to not stand still like their father repeatedly asked them to.

I have been tangled up at least once on 3 of our last 5 trips. So please, if you use them, fine, but please continue to watch where your child is going. Keep the length short because if you don't, people can get hurt.

And seriously, there is no reason for all of the "perfect parent" nonsense and rudeness in this thread. Just because someone has a kid that doesn't require a leash or that will sit contently in a stroller all day, does not mean they think they are the perfect parent.

What she said lmao You took my exact thoughts

 

[weedles]

Kids are not dogs blah blah blah. forget what this perfect mommies think. THEY DONT MATTER.

Id rather have an alive safe toddler than the approval of some judgemental shrew. It takes just seconds for some sick person to snatch your child. Then thats it, its over. Odds are you wouldnt see your baby again not a risk Im willing to take.

I used it once when my toddler was 16 mos and I had a newborn at the zoo. It was busy there was lots of ppl. Plain and simple you never know when there is a sicko nearby. In disney if I had a 1-2 yr old child bet I would bring my monkey backpack.

Surprisingly that 16 mo old is now 3 and it didnt hinder her development by using a backpack in a few isolated incidents. She is older now and can understand why I am telling her to stay by me. 1 yr olds comprehension is not always the greatest. Its a learning curve. Kids grow up. Bet I would use it again to keep my baby safe.


Seriously use it if you feel it will help.. Dont worry what these nosey ppl think. Tell them to mind their own kids and get over it.

Did the OP not start this thread looking for opinions??? These boards are wonderful for getting different opinions that Im grateful for. I obviously am not going to agree with all but I can respect each others right to our own. The nastiness that gets unleashed (Lmao come on now thats funny) with differences of opinions on the boards is quite upsetting at times.

 

[luvmy2babies]

Something happens when these subjects come up

Safety harness
Strollers past age (whatever)
Lap babies on airplanes
Children in the opposite gender restroom

It is not that each side says they are a perfect parent, but there is a sense that each side thinks they are a better parent than the other, that one group is making detrimental decisions.

I think everyone is just doing what is best for their family, and have made the decisions that are comfortable for them, but it seems we can’t just say what we do and why without saying what the other people are doing is wrong.

I’ve already said I use one. I didn’t need one with my daughter, but my son thinks his feet on the floor or ground means it is time to run (and for me to chase him). It is a game to him. He has not yet learned to understand it is not always appropriate. He at this time, sees no difference in running in the yard and running through a restaurant.

Sure I could catch him (and have). Sure my dd could catch him (and has). I just don’t think it’s safe for us to be running through public places like that. And I can’t bring his stroller into most restaurants.

I need both my hands at buffets for example, so I harness then. Sometimes we snack in line so I might then. I am the only parent when we are out (and when we are in) so in certain situations I use ours. I have already said I don’t care enough about what other people think for me to change my mind about it.

But it is interesting. My son is 2. He doesn’t feel like a pet and he is not embarrassed. It will go away when he shows me he no longer needs it. And he is getting better about holding hands, but not to the point of me leaving the harness behind. I want him safe so this is what I do. And I’ll do what I feel I have to. I have been through enough already and so has my little girl.

But aren't we all doing what we feel we have to do? What we feel is best?

 

[Iluvshoes531]

I am 55. raised two sons. have a few grandkids.

fads come and go, as do the "newest" baby/kids "must haves"

when I first started getting invited to baby showers for the next generation after my boys, I was amazed at something that was NOT on the lists. but I was going to buy it anyway.... except.. they don't "make" them anymore...


a PLAY PEN!!!!!!! anyone my age remember them? they were a God send. every living room had one somewhere in the middle or in the corner. the older kid could play with toys that little parts without the little one "gobbling up" said little parts.

mom could clean while baby was happily playing with age appropriate toys, and no worry about lttile johnny eating something he shouldn't have.

guess they don't make them anymore.. I know they make mobile cribs. I think for a while they made what they called "play YARDS" (euphenism..).


I guess it isn't politically correct anymore to "put" kids in a somewhat "Jail", anymore thanit is politically "correct to use a so called "leash"...... shheeesh.. whatever......

but then again, I put a little whiskey on my babies gums if they were teething, and corn starch on their diaper rash. or, better, yet, let them run aroun in the buff for a while to get rid of that nasty rash..... I listened to my 'wizened "mom and grandmom, and mom-in-law.. silly me..

in this day and age, I guess the old "playpen" would be considered a "jail" and child abuse.

again.. I wish they had invented those wonderful, cute child restraints (you don't HAVE to call them leashes) when my kids were little... heck, I wish I had invented them!!!!

I could not agree with this more. A safety harness is really no different than using a baby gate to keep your little one safe in the house. By the way, you can by the same "baby" gate in the pet store for dear ole Fido.

 

[herdtoDisney]

I could not agree with this more. A safety harness is really no different than using a baby gate to keep your little one safe in the house. By the way, you can by the same "baby" gate in the pet store for dear ole Fido.

Not the same, because the child running around like a puppy on a leash while his parents ignore him can trip others. The kid at home behind the gate cannot impact anyone else

I have no problem with a parent using the harness WHILE they are attending their child, as a backup safety precaution.

 

[Iluvshoes531]

Not the same, because the child running around like a puppy on a leash while his parents ignore him can trip others. The kid at home behind the gate cannot impact anyone else

I have no problem with a parent using the harness WHILE they are attending their child, as a backup safety precaution.

Just like any product out there on the market, it can be misused. A baby gate can make parents assume kids are safe, until one of them can climb over the gate. A crib, until our little one can climb out, and there will be the parents that will assume because their child is on a harness they can just ignore them. I think for the majority of parents that have decided to use a safety harness they still have intentions of paying very close attention to their child, they just want to give them the freedom of movement. Nothing worse than strapping the little one in the stroller and have them scream bloody murder while you push them.

I am a nurse that has worked in an urgent care center. I have seen many children brought in with "Nursemaids elbow" from a parent holding their hands and them turning themselves to get away. There is an arguement to all sides of this discussion, for and against the use of safety harness. I think we should all just do what we feel is right for our child without having to worry about us being judged

 

[ttintagel]

Not the same, because the child running around like a puppy on a leash while his parents ignore him can trip others. The kid at home behind the gate cannot impact anyone else

I have no problem with a parent using the harness WHILE they are attending their child, as a backup safety precaution.

A child running around while his parents ignore him can trip others when NOT on a leash, too. I have the X-rays to prove it.

 

[herdtoDisney]

A child running around while his parents ignore him can trip others when NOT on a leash, too. I have the X-rays to prove it.

Well, of course I was responding to the poster comparing the leash to a baby gate.

 

[Belle1962]

IMHO--a child on a leash is fine--as long as they are still with the parents. If the child can "wander" more than one person's stride (front-back-sideways) then they need to be reigned back in. My sister was such a runner my mom had to put her in a harness and loop it through the clothesline just so my sister could get some sunshine and not be stuck in the house