Today my mum thought I was trying to kill her

[Ember]

About an hour ago, I tried to give her her normal drugs. Her pain pill and her anxiety pill. She was very slurred and slow, but eventually she came out with the idea that my DH and I were trying to kill her. I know that's not my mummy speaking. But, dear lord, did it hurt. She repeated it over and over, wanting to know if we were tying to poison her.

I've known each day of this would get harder and harder, but I'm not sure how much more my heart can take. I don't even know where the tears are still coming from, I didn't think it was possible to cry so much.

 

[diznygirl]

Do you have hospice coming to the house?

 

[luvmyfam444]

Maybe you could bring in someone else to administer (nurse)the meds so she doesn't think its coming from you

I can't imagine how hard it is for you -

 

[Briarmom]

Ember I feel your pain. I really do.
Have you started having Hospice help yet?

I am so very sorry.

 

[minkydog]

Are ya'll getting any services for your mother? I think it's time to call in hospice. They can work with your mother and help you all through this difficult time. And they won't get mad if she says things like that to them.

I know you want to keep your mother at home but that doesn't mean that you must provide 100% of her care. I say this in all sympathy because I know how hard it is to take care of another person, but you need to get some help with your mom to save YOUR mental health. EVen if you could get out with your kids or your husband for just 2 hours, it would lift the burden off your shoulders for a short period and allow you to rest for a bit before you go back into the fray.

I wish you the best. You're in an impossible situation and I know it is oh,so hard.

 

[dislaney]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I can relate unfortunately.

 

[Jillpie]

I haven't read your story about your Mom, but I am sure sorry for what you are going thru, gosh here's a giant hug for youand yes, please do call in some help. You're not alone.

 

[ToddyLu]

I have always told patient's families that it takes 24 hours of nursing care to take care of their loved one---that is why there are nurses on all shifts...because that is what is needed we you are taking care of someone sick. It is very draining and hard when people you love are not themselves. As the other posters have said...involve Hospice if possible...God is showing you that it is time...at least that is what I believe.

Sending hugs your way

 

[pixiewings71]

Oh Ember I'm so sorry!! I can only imagine how badly it's hurting you for her to say these things to you. I think the other people have a good suggestion, you should call in hospice sweetie. (((HUGS)))

 

[NancyK]

I have read a few of your posts. I am so sorry you are going through this. Keep telling yourself that this isn't your mom speaking. And I agree that you need some outside help if possible. Please take care of yourself.

 

[bumbershoot]

I don't know what Canada has to offer you and your mom, if hospice is the same there as it is here, but you guys need *something*.

 

[manning]

Hang in there Ember you are doing a great job. Deep down your mother knows you are. You are lucky to be married to a stand up guy, and he to a compassionate loving lady.

It takes love, compassion and strength to do what you are doing. You have it all!!!! Here's a and hug.

 

[Imzadi]

Oh Ember! I'm sorry this is so hard for you & DH. I agree with what someone wrote yesterday. Find a support group or get counseling for you & DH to get through this.

I remember reading a about various workshops a long time ago where one was titled, "Who takes care of the Caretakers?" It was aimed at professionals but, it really pointed out how you give and give and give and are expected to be so strong. But, the care you give, whether disinterested professionals who are able to maintain a distance, or especially family members, all of you end up very physically & emotionally depleted. You really need support procedures & a system to take care of you while you are taking care of your mom.

 

[Ember]

I do have help coming in. Every (week)day we have a home care worker to helps with medications and personal grooming. I have also started the process to get more full time care in place for when I have to work.

I knew this wasn't going to be easy, I just didn't ever think it would be this hard. This morning, at 3 am, my mum moaned loudly and I rushed it. She told me she was dying. I think it was a panic attack. I called the nurse who had me give her one of her panic pills that she took without question. She could respond with one word answers, she knew she was at home, but not much else. DH is taking her to the doctor today so we'll see what he says. I know we're near the end, but maybe there's another pain killer she could be on. Shaking, paranoia and slurred speech are all signs of toxicity.

Once again, thanks for being here DIS friends. I will probably be here, letting everything spill out again soon.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I am so sorry.

 

[minniebeth]

I have been there too. I know how emotionally difficult it is...

 

[amyy]

I really don't know what to say but please know I am keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[BLTtinkerbell]

Sorry to hear this.

 

[englishteacha]

You're in my thoughts and prayers. I know how difficult this can be. If you need someone to talk to who's been in your position (twice), send me a message, OK??

 

[Robinrs]

I do have help coming in. Every (week)day we have a home care worker to helps with medications and personal grooming. I have also started the process to get more full time care in place for when I have to work.

I knew this wasn't going to be easy, I just didn't ever think it would be this hard. This morning, at 3 am, my mum moaned loudly and I rushed it. She told me she was dying. I think it was a panic attack. I called the nurse who had me give her one of her panic pills that she took without question. She could respond with one word answers, she knew she was at home, but not much else. DH is taking her to the doctor today so we'll see what he says. I know we're near the end, but maybe there's another pain killer she could be on. Shaking, paranoia and slurred speech are all signs of toxicity.

Once again, thanks for being here DIS friends. I will probably be here, letting everything spill out again soon.

You poor baby....