To Whom Would I Write/Email/Call?

[Luvchefmic]

Whoa in a word : boundaries I can never understand over the years the whole wanting to do something special for the CMs mentality ( baking cookies and handing them out, making cute little business cards attaching little candies) I just don't get it

Best way to do something nice is passing it up the chain of managers when you experience a good thing. As far as wanting to invite the Capt's. significant other, you have no idea what is going on in this person's life nor should you. Maybe the person working is experiencing the first NYE w/o someone ( death, divorce, etc). Not really important he/she will be there doing a job.

I go I am polite, I smile, they smile, I write a letter praising the outstanding ones and I tip. Period. Life goes on. I did do something special for Pluto once. Gave him a BD Button on his birthday and he was thrilled.

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

So is the assumption here that the SO of the captain has no other close friends or family to celebrate New Year's Eve with at home?

 

[LiveYourLife]

It's really a moot point. Disney is not going to allow it, and no CM is going to want to risk getting a reprimand, or worse, fired for this.

OP, again a gratuity, gift card, or a complimentary letter to guest services would suffice if you wanted to do something a little extra.

 

[LaurenT]

So is the assumption here that the SO of the captain has no other close friends or family to celebrate New Year's Eve with at home?

I think the assumption is that most people would prefer to spend New Year's Eve with their husband or wife.

OP, it's a very sweet gesture, but I don't think it'll work. And with the cruise being over just after illuminations, the Captain will still be able to get home to his SO before midnight....

 

[LaurenT]

Duplicate post

 

[Alesia]

I think the assumption is that most people would prefer to spend New Year's Eve with their husband or wife.

OP, it's a very sweet gesture, but I don't think it'll work. And with the cruise being over just after illuminations, the Captain will still be able to get home to his SO before midnight....

It's very likely that the captain would rather spend New Year's Eve with his or her significant other, but not while working. In fact that's probably true every other day of the year, too. If given the choice, I would much rather stay home with my family instead of going to work, but that's just not a option if we want the bills to be paid.

When the boat captain is at work, they don't have time to spend with their loved ones - they have a job to do. I think that really gets to heart of why this idea seems so offensive to some of us: It's the idea that service jobs aren't "real" jobs. Would you invite the dentist's husband to come to your appointment so that they can spend time together? What about the plumber's wife? The loan officer's life partner?

Service workers just want to be treated like any other professional. And, yes, working on holidays sucks, but it's just part of the deal. We're not just poor unfortunate souls to be pitied for doing menial jobs because we can't do anything else. I've worked every single holiday for the last 5 years (NYE, Christmas, Mother's Day - you name it) and if a customer suggested that I have my husband come and sit with them, I would actually be offended and really, really creeped out. And I know that that wasn't the OP's intention, but that's how I would feel.

 

[LaurenT]

It's very likely that the captain would rather spend New Year's Eve with his or her significant other, but not while working. In fact that's probably true every other day of the year, too. If given the choice, I would much rather stay home with my family instead of going to work, but that's just not a option if we want the bills to be paid.

When the boat captain is at work, they don't have time to spend with their loved ones - they have a job to do. I think that really gets to heart of why this idea seems so offensive to some of us: It's the idea that service jobs aren't "real" jobs. Would you invite the dentist's husband to come to your appointment so that they can spend time together? What about the plumber's wife? The loan officer's life partner?

Service workers just want to be treated like any other professional. And, yes, working on holidays sucks, but it's just part of the deal. We're not just poor unfortunate souls to be pitied for doing menial jobs because we can't do anything else. I've worked every single holiday for the last 5 years (NYE, Christmas, Mother's Day - you name it) and if a customer suggested that I have my husband come and sit with them, I would actually be offended and really, really creeped out. And I know that that wasn't the OP's intention, but that's how I would feel.

The OP was just trying to do something nice. I agree that it's a misplaced idea, but why be offended by her not knowing what the job allows - or to say that she thinks the SO has no friends? I think it's mean to take her good intention and openly insult her for it. I happen to be a stand up comedian, I don't bring my husband onstage with me, but he has come to my shows. It's reasonable for the OP to think that the spouse could come along and enjoy watching her husband be a captain and then watch the illuminations show, even if it isn't really realistic.

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

I think the assumption is that most people would prefer to spend New Year's Eve with their husband or wife.

OP, it's a very sweet gesture, but I don't think it'll work. And with the cruise being over just after illuminations, the Captain will still be able to get home to his SO before midnight....

Well, sure...provided they're not actually working at the time.

TBH, I take these "What over the top thing can I bestow on my fav CM?" type threads with a boulder sized grain of salt. 9 times out of 10, the OP has no real intention of really following through on the act. They simply like the accolades they get from some in the DIS community that come with the suggestion.

 

[Alesia]

The OP was just trying to do something nice. I agree that it's a misplaced idea, but why be offended by her not knowing what the job allows - or to say that she thinks the SO has no friends? I think it's mean to take her good intention and openly insult her for it. I happen to be a stand up comedian, I don't bring my husband onstage with me, but he has come to my shows. It's reasonable for the OP to think that the spouse could come along and enjoy watching her husband be a captain and then watch the illuminations show, even if it isn't really realistic.

I was simply stating how it would make me feel. And many other people, as well. I would think that the OP would want to know. I would certainly want someone to tell me if I was risking inadvertently making someone very uncomfortable.

I do have to ask, though: would your husband go as the invited guest of a group of complete strangers? Would he be comfortable with that? Would you? Neither of you would wonder about any ulterior motives? Keep in mind that we are talking about a complete stranger whom you know absolutely nothing about, not someone on the disboards who seems well intentioned, but a complete stranger, because that's what the OP would be to the captain.

 

[LiveYourLife]

While I'm sure your intentions are the best, this really strikes me as kind of "the call is coming from inside the house" territory.

OMG, I just got that!!!

I need more coffee.

but there is a thread about "tweaking" park hours, and I keep reading it as "TWERKING". LOL! Maybe it's not coffee that I need, maybe I just need to put on my glasses.

Anyway, back to the topic on hand.

 

[PJ]

The OP has great intentions, but as others have mentioned its probably not something that is realistic or practical.

My suggestion is this:
When you arrive, tell the Captain that you realize that this is a job and they are paid to be there. But you recognize they are still giving up their own NYE celebrations to help make yours magical, and you really appreciate it.

 

[LaurenT]

Most clubs comp a guest for performers. The club owner may or may not be someone I know. I don't think that my husband would be interested in sitting with a table of strangers - but I also don't think he'd be insulted to be asked.
As far as the boulder size grain of salt - you may or may not be right - you'll never be inside the ops head to know. if you're not right, you're sullying the character of someone for absolutely no reason. If you're right, you may be being mean to someone who - for reasons you don't know - desperately needs some accolades from strangers - wouldn't kill you to give it to them. I admit to loving having a room full of strangers like me - doesn't make me a bad person.

 

[SMD]

The OP was just trying to do something nice. I agree that it's a misplaced idea, but why be offended by her not knowing what the job allows - or to say that she thinks the SO has no friends? I think it's mean to take her good intention and openly insult her for it. I happen to be a stand up comedian, I don't bring my husband onstage with me, but he has come to my shows. It's reasonable for the OP to think that the spouse could come along and enjoy watching her husband be a captain and then watch the illuminations show, even if it isn't really realistic.

Having a spouse attend a public performance is totally different than having a spouse, family member or friend tag along at most other jobs. As PP said, CMs are in the service industry. CMs and guests alike should respect that they have a job to do, without distractions and tag alongs.

 

[SMD]

The OP was just trying to do something nice. I agree that it's a misplaced idea, but why be offended by her not knowing what the job allows - or to say that she thinks the SO has no friends? I think it's mean to take her good intention and openly insult her for it. I happen to be a stand up comedian, I don't bring my husband onstage with me, but he has come to my shows. It's reasonable for the OP to think that the spouse could come along and enjoy watching her husband be a captain and then watch the illuminations show, even if it isn't really realistic.

Having a spouse attend a public performance is totally different than having a spouse, family member or friend tag along at most other jobs. As PP said, CMs are in the service industry. CMs and guests alike should respect that they have a job to do, without distractions and tag alongs.

 

[bumbershoot]

So is the assumption here that the SO of the captain has no other close friends or family to celebrate New Year's Eve with at home?

That's what I thought, too.

When you or your spouse has a job that requires working on holidays, you get used to it. You find ways to work it out. Sometimes people volunteer to work on those days. I did when single, and on holidays that mean nothing to is (most holidays, including NYE), especially when working an hourly job (with a company that pays holiday pay AND hourly pay) we volunteered DH.

For people like us, it's not a hardship. At all.

I think the assumption is that most people would prefer to spend New Year's Eve with their husband or wife. OP, it's a very sweet gesture, but I don't think it'll work. And with the cruise being over just after illuminations, the Captain will still be able to get home to his SO before midnight....

Most people, IMO, don't want to spend time watching their spouse work while they are enjoying themselves. We recently tagged along with DH on a work trip (20 days in England and Ireland, we couldn't pass that up) and every day that DS and I went off to explore we felt horribly guilty.

If it was a job that required some level of performance, like a boat captain, it would be like watching DH in a work meeting or something. But then my DH had a different persona at work; different laugh and everything, like chandler bing on Friends lol.

 

[mom2rtk]

How about just giving him a really big tip? That never goes out of style you know. And if he has a SO, I'm sure she would appreciate that as well.

 

[LaurenT]

How about just giving him a really big tip? That never goes out of style you know. And if he has a SO, I'm sure she would appreciate that as well.

This is a good idea. And it isn't attacking the OP and treating her like she should know better.
It may be true that the Captain wouldn't want the wife along, it may be true that the wife wouldn't be interested. It may be true that Disney would not disclose that information or allow a spouse to tag along.
I still do not believe the OP needed to be berated for the idea. I have been in the service industry and I didn't get the impression that she was trying to be insulting. (also, tagging along to watch your husband captain a boat and then watch fireworks isn't *quite* the same thing as tagging along to watch him bus tables at the local Friendly's) I think anyone who felt insulted and responded with nastiness and sarcasm might want to look at themselves instead of the OP and wonder why that is their first reaction instead of giving the op the benefit of the doubt with regards to her intentions.

 

[patty57]

Look..this may or may not be a good idea, but why do some people find it impossible to assume that the OP had good intentions? As someone who has a husband who works many holidays, including just about every Christmas during the 24 years we've been married, I think that the OP was just trying to be kind.

 

[patty57]

It may be true that the Captain wouldn't want the wife along, it may be true that the wife wouldn't be interested. It may be true that Disney would not disclose that information or allow a spouse to tag along.
I still do not believe the OP needed to be berated for the idea. I have been in the service industry and I didn't get the impression that she was trying to be insulting. (also, tagging along to watch your husband captain a boat and then watch fireworks isn't *quite* the same thing as tagging along to watch him bus tables at the local Friendly's) I think anyone who felt insulted and responded with nastiness and sarcasm might want to look at themselves instead of the OP and wonder why that is their first reaction instead of giving the op the benefit of the doubt with regards to her intentions.

Lauren, you wrote this while I was writing my prior post. Well said.

 

[mesaboy2]

This is a good idea. And it isn't attacking the OP and treating her like she should know better.
It may be true that the Captain wouldn't want the wife along, it may be true that the wife wouldn't be interested. It may be true that Disney would not disclose that information or allow a spouse to tag along.
I still do not believe the OP needed to be berated for the idea. I have been in the service industry and I didn't get the impression that she was trying to be insulting. (also, tagging along to watch your husband captain a boat and then watch fireworks isn't *quite* the same thing as tagging along to watch him bus tables at the local Friendly's) I think anyone who felt insulted and responded with nastiness and sarcasm might want to look at themselves instead of the OP and wonder why that is their first reaction instead of giving the op the benefit of the doubt with regards to her intentions.

I haven't read anyone berating the OP or being outright nasty or sarcastic (ETA: alright, one)--just a number of comments pointing out how uncomfortable they would be with this and why the boat captain and SO might react if the OP ever got that far. I have no question the PP's intentions are sincere, but that doesn't mean the idea isn't a bit odd.

Look..this may or may not be a good idea, but why do some people find it impossible to assume that the OP had good intentions? As someone who has a husband who works many holidays, including just about every Christmas during the 24 years we've been married, I think that the OP was just trying to be kind.

Who said this exactly or even doubted the OP's intentions? I missed that.