To use a Leash or not use one?

[momofdrewmarie]

I have never used one in my life for my kids, but i am very nervous about our trip next week. As a group we will have 6 kids with us, 2 infants, 2 7 year olds and 2 Four year olds...the 4 year olds are the issue...

With the heavy crowds the week of Easter I am nervous about losing them. I am going to force them to get in strollers where we can.

Several friends have said to do the Leash thing....

thoughts?

Amy

 

[Bugsmom73]

I have. I didn't care about the looks. My son has autism and if it kept him safe, then so be it.

 

[LuLuO]

I have one for DD2. I use it occassionally at the mall or the zoo, but if we are in big crowds I usually just end up carrying her or putting her in a stroller anyway because she tends to go to the full extent of the leash and then gets tangled up in people.

 

[Hannathy]

First let me say I hate leashes. BUT even if I didn't I think 4 yr olds without special needs are too old to have to be on leashes. IMO a 4 yr old is old enough to know to stay with you. We had a 4 yr old there during Easter week and had no problem at all. We didn't use a stroller either. Like I said I think a 4 yr old should know to stay with their group.

 

[DisneyMommy1022]

I have them and I use them!!! I have a 5yo and a 2yo and I don't care what others think it is about the safety of my kids! Now I use it on the 2yo more so then the 5 year old. If you feel safer using the leash then use it. They are your children and you are the one that needs the piece of mind and IMO it is your business not anyone else's! Have fun and if someone gives you a dirty look or makes a rude comment just tell them to have a Magical Day!!!

 

[lathamary]

IMO a 4 yr old is old enough to know to stay with you. We had a 4 yr old there during Easter week and had no problem at all. We didn't use a stroller either. Like I said I think a 4 yr old should know to stay with their group.

I wholeheartedly disagree with this, and can confidently say that the author knows nothing about child psychology or development.

Four year olds, by their nature, are easily distracted, and that is normal and good. They're curious about the world. It is not their responsibility to keep up with you. It is your responsibility, as a parent, to keep them safe and make sure they're where they need to be. If they lose their way, it's not their fault, it's yours.

If you, as a parent, expect that much of a four year old, then you are not well informed parent and will end up with frustrated kids with self esteem problems.

 

[stace1214]

I can't speak from experience, my little guy is only seven months old, but I would say use one! It gets so very busy, I would use one in a heartbeat. Better to be safe than sorry!

 

[hsembrick]

I have used one in the past with my then 2 yr old and I loved it!!!! I didn't have to fight her to ride in the stroller when she wanted to walk. It made the day much more enjoyable and she had a great time. I'm not going to say that she didn't get distracted at times b/c she did but, if you aren't in any hurry to get any where then use it!!! I also agree with one of the above posts if anyone does give you a nasty look just tell them "have a magical day" !!

 

[ShannonMB]

If you, as a parent, expect that much of a four year old, then you are not well informed parent and will end up with frustrated kids with self esteem problems.

I don't know if I'd go that far, but I do somewhat agree with this poster. Some little kids are *runners* and some aren't, and I think both are normal -- just depends on the kid, KWIM?

OP I have no opinion whatsoever on leashes. I never had to use one with DD, but she was an only and also not a runner. I can see where they can come in handy for some kids, but I would say that if you are going to use them at Disney, you should probably get one right away and get the little ones used to it -- otherwise you might get to Disney and they will be like, "What the heck is this -- let me OFF!!"

If you want lots more opinions on the subject, I believe there's a thread about it on the theme park strategy board right now -- if it's not closed yet. You'll hear it ALL over there.

 

[waltskids]

We haven't used them, we won't use them but we don't fault parents who need them. With that being said, I do think a 4 year old is a little old to be on a leash (speaking about typical development). When we go to WDW we usually see toddlers on them (around 14 months until 2 or so).

 

[Hannathy]

I wholeheartedly disagree with this, and can confidently say that the author knows nothing about child psychology or development.

Four year olds, by their nature, are easily distracted, and that is normal and good. They're curious about the world. It is not their responsibility to keep up with you. It is your responsibility, as a parent, to keep them safe and make sure they're where they need to be. If they lose their way, it's not their fault, it's yours.

If you, as a parent, expect that much of a four year old, then you are not well informed parent and will end up with frustrated kids with self esteem problems.

Wow is all I can say! What an opinionated bunch of baloney. Or in other words who made you the know all expert? and how many kids have you raised? When yours are successful adults get back to me, or are you like most experts you have none or they are babies.
I stand by my statement that a 4 yr old can and should be expected to know enough to not run off every second. They aren't wild animals. If they are in school and many 4 yr olds are they are expected to stay in line and stay with their class. Don't know what 4 yr olds you have been with but I stand by my wow.

 

[frtchr]

OP, with six kids, if you feel more secure having the 4's on a leash, go for it! You're going to have your hands pretty full, and knowing where the 4's are will be a load off your mind.

 

[bumbershoot]

I think you should have started practicing before this, honestly. To get them used to it, so they aren't playing games with it like my son did, LOL.


A 4 year old isn't in school-school, and if they do go out somewhere, I would bet a million dollars that everyone is holding hands, chaperones are in front and behind to watch everyone, etc etc etc. A 4 year old CAN and MIGHT be mature enough to not wander, but that doesn't mean ALL can or will.


Harnesses for kids are meant to keep them safe in unsafe, or highly distractable, environments. If you know that your attention will be split in a million directions, and that the kid's attention will be too, I say go for it. And I wish you better luck than I had with DS...my mom used harnesses with me and my brother when she took us to the beach (in Monterey, at least back then, you parked right on the road, a busy fast road, to get down to the beach, and it was much safer for us to be physically attached to our mom until we got down onto the beach) and I fully expected to use one with DS, but, yeah...he just never got used to it. Didn't work. Hope it works for you!

 

[dizneechic]

We haven't used them in Disney but in Boston when traveling in the crowds my stroller had tethers attached to it and each of my kids had one to hold onto as we would walk through the city. Even now they reach for them if I have the stroller when crowds get thick. Leashes aren't for us, but I see NO issue with them.

With that said, we purchased silicone bracelets for our 3 kids with both parents cell phone numbers on them and had the kids wear these in the parks. We didn't have a stroller and our kids typically stay close so did this totally precautionary because I needed to not worry IF they got lost. Well it turns out my 6.5 y/o got distracted on our last day as we were walking through a gift shop. We realized it maybe 20-30 seconds later, but couldn't find him. No more than a minute later I got a call on my cell because he did exactly as told and walked up to a CM, showed her the bracelet and viola, phone call. So it's not only a 4 y/o that can get lost, any child of ANY age can be easily distracted, especially at Disney! If you feel better with a leash, go for it! I was THRILLED I decided to be the OCD mom who did the bracelet thing because it turned what could have been a horrifying experience for us all into a little blip in our vacation memories.

 

[princessmom29]

I agree with the PP that said a 4 year old really shouldn't need one on a day to day basis. I am sorry, but by 4 they should have learned to stay with their parent. I only have 1 dd, and by 4 she had the whole "you must stay with mommy or you go in the stroller" concept down. I feel like for the vast majority of 4 year olds it should be a lesson they have learned. That bieng said, I realize that little kids do forget the rules in all the excitement of disney ect, and amy forget the rules learned at home. I could see how one getting away form you in a crowd of 7 couldbe a problem. I say if a leash makes you feel more secure and your kids will actually wear it without throwing a fit then go for it. I personally wouldn't do it with just my DD, or evn with 2 or 3, but then again I don't have 7 kids to keep up with either.

 

[scrappingizlife]

I say use them if they will make you feel safe. No one can tell you it's wrong or right. As a parent it's your decision. My personal opinion is you leash your dog so that they won't run away from you and you won't lose them, why would your chid be less important than your dog?

 

[princessmom29]

I wholeheartedly disagree with this, and can confidently say that the author knows nothing about child psychology or development.

Four year olds, by their nature, are easily distracted, and that is normal and good. They're curious about the world. It is not their responsibility to keep up with you. It is your responsibility, as a parent, to keep them safe and make sure they're where they need to be. If they lose their way, it's not their fault, it's yours.

If you, as a parent, expect that much of a four year old, then you are not well informed parent and will end up with frustrated kids with self esteem problems.

I am an educator, and have taught K4-K5 and I agree with the PP, so some people with knowledge of child development DO hold that opinion.
I fully expected my 4 year old to pay attention to where she was, what was gonig on, and how close she was to mommy. Yes, she forogt, and I was paying attention and reminded her. That is how she learned not to stray. I kept up with where she was and what she was doing at all times, but didn't always let her know that. She is happy, well adjusted, outgiong, independent, and has high self esteem. No problems here. A four year old is perfectly capable of paying attention and staying with the group. I think you are selling a child short by NOT asking them to do something they are perfectly capable of doing, and that can cause dependency issues. Yes, at four they are going to have lapses, and that is where the responsible adult comes in, but they should be learning that they need to pay attention and be responsible for staying with the group. If a child always counts on mommy to keep track of where they are, they are much more likely to stray. What about preschool? Kids have to be aware of thier surroundings and where the group is when moving between locations and on field trips where they don't have mommy with them to take care of that. There is one teacher and usually at least 8 of them. She cannot hold all their hands our put them all on a leash every time they go to the playground or the bathroom. I am not always going to be there to watch over dd, and feel it is my duty as a parent to teach her to take more and more responsibility as she gets older.

 

[pnutallergymom]

First let me say I hate leashes. BUT even if I didn't I think 4 yr olds without special needs are too old to have to be on leashes. IMO a 4 yr old is old enough to know to stay with you. We had a 4 yr old there during Easter week and had no problem at all. We didn't use a stroller either. Like I said I think a 4 yr old should know to stay with their group.

I totally agree with this. While I can see it with a child who has special needs, I cannot for the life of me figure out why parents with normally developing kids need them.

I have 4 children. All close together in age. 8,7,6,3. The 3yr old has severe special needs. I take them everywhere with me. We go to restaurants, parks, amusement parks, the beach etc. None have ever gotten lost, nor has one ever taken off on me. My DH works a ton, so I do this with them all on my own. I don't rely on somone else to "help" me take care of my own kids. Nor do I need a "leash"....that is for my dog, who can walk without one as well without taking off.

 

[CheshireSmile]

What sort of leash are you considering? One of the fuzzy ones with the animal backpacks? Those seem to be most popular choices. They're not too long, so they can't readily get tangled up with other guests. Please do not put them onto anything retractable so they can run 20 ft. away from you, I've seen it and it's disasterous. Please remember that the leash should be an assistant for you, not a replacement for your own vigilance. You should still have your eye on the kids at all times, they can still get into trouble on leashes. Also, please be mindful of everybody's safety. When getting into ride vehicles, please take the child's hand and help them in. This is especially important when getting into ride vehicles where you step down into them. I've seen parents not paying attention, holding the leash, and have the kid fall when they're stepping down into the vehicle and then they're left kind of dangling in midair which puts strain on the buckles of the harness. I was always worried the buckles would fail and the kid would faceplant into the bottom of the boat at this point. So yes, please be mindful and there to help them loading and unloading at all rides. And be mindful of where the leash is, you don't want them getting tangled on anything or with each other.

 

[Ceila]

If you, as a parent, expect that much of a four year old, then you are not well informed parent and will end up with frustrated kids with self esteem problems.

I have no problem with people using harnesses, either, but that comment of yours is just plain rude.