To those who have college freshmen this year...how are they doing?

[poohandwendy]

I remember we had a thread going on last spring/summer/fall regarding our kids going off to school. Just wanted to see how it is all going for your kids?

Jessica started out well, then it got rough and now it is great!

She loved it at first, then reality set in and she was really homesick and felt out of her element. I think at first she loved the independence, parties etc...but then felt overwhelmed. Academically, it's all fine, but the adjustment has been more than she expected. And it did not help that her roommate is sort of a 'princess' in a not so Disney way. She is a really, really nice girl, but I don't think she was ready to leave the nest and her parents coddle her alot. I think she will end up transferring back this way so she can live at home. They have had tons of good times together and Jess will really miss her, but I just don't think being so far from home is something she wants. I dunno.

Well, Jess went through what I call a mini-depression, wanting to come home all of the time and just a negative attitude (almost like a regression in maturity level, to be honest). Then, during the semester break, we had a long talk and I sort of laid down the law. Get involved, outside of your room and your small list of friends. We are paying for her schooling and this is not a small sacrifice on our parts. I told her that she needs to be thinking more about the forest than the trees and that this opportunity that we were giving her was not an endless road where she can afford to spend her time wallowing in self pity (I know, it was rough, but trust me....she needed a kick in the pants). there was obviously more said than that, laughter and tears...but bottom line, she needed to pull it together or come up with plan B...and I am NOT paying for plan B and she is not living here without a tangible long term plan.

She went back with a different attitude. Seriously. She now has a boyfriend she met while she was tutoring him in math. He ended up 'firing her' because she was too impatient with him, LOL. "Good thing I am not an education major, eh mom?" she said. He fired her and then asked her out, LOL. He seems like a nice kid and is very focused. She is very happy, they are constantly on the go (parties too, I know) she rarely comes home, she is immersed in campus life and cannot wait to go back in the fall to a new house she will be sharing with 3 other girls. She spends time with various groups (alot of the time with her BF too) but doesn't seem dependent on any one person other than herself, kwim?

So, it wasn't easy for her, but she is doing really well now. Definitely more mature and grounded than a few months ago. I had a few sleepless nights worrying about it silently, but now I just feel a weight lifted...she IS capable, she does not need me to hold her hand. And she is better off when she HAS to find her way, with our support but not our fingerprints all over it.

So how have your kids done? And you?

 

[Kitty 34]

My son absolutely LOVES his college life in Detroit!! So much he doesn't even come home every couple of weekends with his laundry anymore!!!

 

[poohandwendy]

That is awesome Kitty...does he even call often anymore? I used to get called at least every other day...now she only calls when she needs something (usually money)...

But I am glad, to be honest. I can call her cell phone if I really want to get ahold of her.

 

[Kitty 34]

Nope doesn't even call home (not recently anyway). He has a girlfriend which I think is taking up a lot of his time.

Isn't it weird how much we missed them in the fall! I cried and cried the day Michael left and now I almost get teary eyed thinking he's coming home for an entire summer!!!

 

[poohandwendy]

LOL, so true. When they do come home, they bring tons of dirty laundry and a mess...and then they go out with their friends anyways.

It is nice seeing Jess every now and again, but the whole summer? It will be an adjustment (again), for sure. LOL

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

my son is a freshman at St. Anselm in Manchester. He is only about an hour away but he was so homesick and I still miss him. He has done well. He seems happy. He comes home some weekends. With laundry of course. His last day of school is May 12th. He really likes college life.

 

[monarchsfan16]

Can a college freshman check in?
The year has been crazy. I started off in a built up lounge with three roommates. It went well for awhile, but as all things do eventually spiraled downward. By second semester i was down to just two roommates, including one who partied 7 days a week. After a week of getting woken up at 2 and 3 am everyday by her stumbling in (first week of the semester), my other roommate and I got word of an open double on the floor, and asked our RA to get us broken down pronto. I now am in a real room, with just one roommate, and it is great. I am very happy with the dorm (despite the room situation). It's the honors dorm, and the environment is just great. Classes went very well first semester, overall, and I declared a major a few weeks ago. I'm majoring in communication sciences and disorders (speech therapy). This semester's classes are definitely more of a challenge, and at the moment the workload is killing me. I still call mom every day but I think it'll be like that for the rest of my life. It's just the way our relationship is. I go home every three weeks or so, since home is only 45 minutes away, and it is nice to get a real meal once in awhile. I will admit I'm really bummed because both hockey season and football season are over, so I have less to do on the weekends, but I also have a huge workload between now and the end of the semester, so maybe that's a good thing. I'm making friends and having fun (no partying, I swear), and keeping my grades up. It definitely hasn't all been easy; some weeks I shed more tears than I ever knew were possible, but it's been more good than bad. I can't complain. I cant believe summer break is so close; the year has gone so fast. I will definitely be back here next year, as I'm very happy with the school.
Mom has handled it better than I expected, but I avoid telling her when I'm sick at all costs. The one and only time (of many) that she could hear in my voice that I was sick she nearly freaked on me. My stepdad also told me she slept with the phone an inch from her my first week at school. But she's adjusted much better than I ever expected (we're down to just a 2 minute hug when she leaves me at school vs a 5 minute one ). I also try to avoid the teary phone calls home, but obviously there have been a couple. But overall she's done well with it (maybe better than me)

 

[helenk]

My daughter Jessica is doing pretty well, she is 4 and a half hours away. She misses her boyfriend more than anything. She is considering transferring to Millersville University, which is just over an hour away. I told her if that is what she wants to do I will go along with it.
She has made alot of friends where she is now, but being so far away has been harder on her than she thought it would be.

 

[Caradana]

Very cool to read these stories. Freshman year was definitely my hardest year of college. I thought it got easier and more fun every year thereafter.

 

[MELSMICE]

This is very interesting to read. My DD is a junior & we just went a college fair last night. Gathered tons of info.

She is so undecided about what to major in & what to do as far as going away, whether it be near or far, or staying home.

My heart breaks when I think about her leaving, but I know that our goal is to teach her to be an independent & productive adult.

Somedays I just wish I could turn the clock back about 10 years!

 

[Jillpie]

My daughter Jessica is doing pretty well, she is 4 and a half hours away. She misses her boyfriend more than anything. She is considering transferring to Millersville University, which is just over an hour away. I told her if that is what she wants to do I will go along with it.
She has made alot of friends where she is now, but being so far away has been harder on her than she thought it would be.

My son will be going to MCLA, in the Ma. Berkshires in the Fall as a freshman. My baby! lol. Anyway, it is 3 hours away and I'm trying to figure out how in the world we are going to survive this commute back and forth. I guess we'll just do it on the real long weekends, like Thanksgiving and such. But how do you deal with this drive when you pick her up? Do you stay over each time at a hotel or do it all in one day? When we have done visits to this college, its an all day affair. I'm not complaining, because I think he's going to be very happy here. Its a nice small college. But boy, the travelling is something else.

 

[GEM]

poohandwendy -

As someone who works closely with the students on a unversity campus, I want to thank you. It sounds like you did an awesome job with your daughter. So many times I see parents who, while well meaning, are NOT helping their children transition to adulthood - encouraging them to come home every single weekend, making excuses for their poor performance in class, providing them with too much money and not enough real support, calling professors to complain that their classes are too hard (I'm honestly not making this up!), allowing them to drift through their college years with no real direction, forking over big bucks to pay for college when they don't bother to study or even attend class, and lots more. I wish we had more parents like you out there. Your daughter will thank you some day, and I'm sure her professors are thanking you now!

 

[minkydog]

DS19 just finished his last quarter in college for awhile. He failed all this 1st quarter classes, then did okay 2nd quarter right up to the finals--and blew them off.Didn't even take them. big fat Fs. Sorry son...No money for college if you don't take it seriously.

He just got a job at Blockbuster and LOVES it. Hopefully, he will decide later to return to college or tech school. For now he just needs to grow up

 

[gharrer]

DS also had a good time the first semester which resulted in a failed first quarter. He was not ready for college. Now he is working full time for the county and he is happy, though he knows he will eventually have to go back to school if he wants to make decent money. I don't feel that the semester was a loss, we had a 4 month vacation ( just kidding). He learned a lot about living on his own and he is much more independent. Though we were disappointed, we were not surprised at the outcome. nancy

 

[Swimnoid]

DD is having a great time at school. She adjusted well and loves her major (made Dean's List! ) but HATES living in the dorm. In her dorm the rooms are SOOOOOOO Small. Next year she is switching dorms and room mates but would prefer to get an apartment after. We do speak almost every day but she is the one calling me just to say hi, or I need money.