To the parents of teens...I am fed up with you!!

[dcgrumpy]

but why do you want to watch something you wouldn't want your 13 to see?

The same reason I do things I wouldn't want my child to do . I'm an adult

 

[Marseeya]

Per your WISH journal:

Dear OP, if you are truly concerned with your son, then perhaps you need to look within your own walls for the issues. Maybe you've been drinking today...maybe that is what caused this flare or irrational thought...maybe just the taxes and the stresses of life, but to blame the world for your problems, and those of your son, is irrational. I've seen too many children adversely affected by an alcoholic or problem drinking parent. I see the heartbreak in the faces of the children in my classes. Please seek help.

How others raise their children isn't your problem. It is how you deal with the issues in your home.

That is so sad. It's no wonder she's so stressed and not thinking rationally.

OP, I hope you can beat this.

 

[MeanLaureen]

Holy Kris Kringle! I'm glad I don't have kids right now because I probably would give them TVs. DVD players, computers, etc and the guilt of knowing that I have ruined civilization as we know it would really ruin my week.

To the OP, be glad you don't have kids in some of the county school systems where I live - they GIVE your kids computers to use in school and at home at a certain grade.

 

[Nancy]

WOW...well, my son (14) does have all of those things, but I take exception with you blaming me for your issues with YOUR son.
I don't see how you have a case against me because my son has those things (nor will I justify the reasons why to you....as I would not judge you for your reasons against), I see your biggest issue with your son and your communications with him....please don't blame other parents unless you've walked in their shoes.

My kids all have them too...except for the computers. Sometimes I will let them take my laptop in their rooms to do homework, but that's it. My girls are 13, 16 and soon to be 18. TV's are in the living room, family room and all bedrooms, including mine...we are all TV junkies. I fall asleep to the noise of the TV, can't sleep without it...kids are just like me. So not a lazy parent either. I know exactly what my girls do on the computer, I know who they are calling and getting calls from...and I know what TV shows they watch, trust me, I watch them like a hawk. If that doesn't fit the OP's parenting style..tough...it fits mine and my families.

 

[NancyIL]

My kids are 15, 18, and 21.

The only bedroom TV in our house is in my bedroom, and I rarely watch any TV.

Oldest two were given laptop computers for high school graduation, although middle child had a computer in her bedroom the last year or two of high school.

My oldest daughter lobbied for a cellphone when she went away to college, but I didn't think she needed one, so bought her a prepaid calling card. When middle daughter started driving 2 years after that, we got her a Tracfone (hated that thing!). After 8 months of that, I got a Cingular family share plan for the two oldest - when they were almost 17 and 19. Then my youngest began lobbying for a cellphone too, and we said he'd get one when he started driving. We broke down 8 months early and got him one this past Christmas. He is in 10th grade.

You didn't mention cars, but then most young kids don't have their own. My oldest goes to college in Texas, so after her 2nd year of college, we bought a used car for her to have to drive to and from school. Middle child goes to college in Chicago (2.5 hours from home), and a car in the city is a liability. We won't be buying a car for her to use there.

 

[Nana Annie]

A cell phone??? PLEASE! we don't even have them! everyone tgalks of convenience, but how did out parents survive without us having cellphones and so on and so on? no i don't think so! however i do understand that MIGO thing! you only need to get a hold of your parents if you do have a cellphone.

The way we survived was that there was a pay phone on every corner. Every store had one, schools had them, there were actually phone booths on streets.

That is not the case today. In many places, it is very difficult to find a public phone. In my last posts, I was being sarcastic, but it is true that in our highschool, there are no public phones. After the final bell rings - kids may not use the school phones. So, if they miss the bus, their practice runs late, etc - unless you have a cell - you cannot call anybody.

When we were kids - our parents used to make sure we had a dime/quarter to call home for emergencies. Now, in many situations, kids need a cell phone to call home.

I for one, will not rely on coaches, friends, etc to always have a cell handy in order for my kid to call me if needed. My kids all got cell phones as soon as they spent any time away from me - ie: sports practice, after school activities, etc. They are cheap and as somebody else said - it is just talk.

 

[Conkozan]

Wow. You have some major issues going on in your head.

Don't worry, the feeling is mutual, we are fed up with your type too.

 

[azgal81]

I think what parents choose to give there kids is their business not yours. Why are you spending so much time worrying about it, don't you have anything better to do with your time!

I don't think giving your kid the latest technology makes you lazy nor do I think your kid isn't "fitting" in because he doesn't have a computer/tv/cell phone. Maybe it's something else you should research why your son really isn't fitting in with his peers and get back to us!

 

[Marseeya]

The way we survived was that there was a pay phone on every corner. Every store had one, schools had them, there were actually phone booths on streets.

.

I remember when I was around 16, my parents' car broke down when I was driving it on the highway. I sat there for the longest time before some strange man in a truck drove up and offered to take me to the next exit.

I went with him.

'Nuff said.

 

[N.Bailey]

I'm a bit behind and trying to catch up and this caught my eye....you do realize that someone is going to come back to you and let you know you are being a lazy parent because you spank and ground your kid...you really should sit down and play a bored game like...oh I don't know...maybe LIFE!! Then they can see the real world!! hehehe

I'm not the grammar police and if you go back to page 14, you'll see that I now have piece of mind now that my kids have cell phones instead of peace of mind, so I'm not picking on you. I just thought it really funny when you said to play a bored game.

 

[N.Bailey]

No need for a DVD player. The only entertainment kids need in the car is a good book. Have them read the whole time they're in the car - especially on family long vacations. They should read classic novels preferably in true old English style (such as Swiss Family Robinson). Take a dictionary along for those words they don't know. They are guaranteed to be quiet the whole trip,

Yeah, right!

My children and I can't read in a car. We get car sick every time we try.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

<<<<<The way we survived was that there was a pay phone on every corner. Every store had one, schools had them, there were actually phone booths on streets.
That is not the case today. In many places, it is very difficult to find a public phone. In my last posts, I was being sarcastic, but it is true that in our highschool, there are no public phones. After the final bell rings - kids may not use the school phones. So, if they miss the bus, their practice runs late, etc - unless you have a cell - you cannot call anybody.When we were kids - our parents used to make sure we had a dime/quarter to call home for emergencies. Now, in many situations, kids need a cell phone to call home.I for one, will not rely on coaches, friends, etc to always have a cell handy in order for my kid to call me if needed. My kids all got cell phones as soon as they spent any time away from me - ie: sports practice, after school activities, etc. They are cheap and as somebody else said - it is just talk.>>>>


And tis is why i said that the MIGO phone is a great idea, i like the fact that they can reach me and my DH or 911 in case of an emergency, i just don't think they need a cell phone to talk to friends and such. once again just my OP! but i know about the fewer public phones, either that or they are all broken now adays!

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

Sidenote--> i love to read in the car! everyone in my family and my DH even gets sick too! it's the only place i can read now

 

[Nancy]

<<<<<The way we survived was that there was a pay phone on every corner. Every store had one, schools had them, there were actually phone booths on streets.
That is not the case today. In many places, it is very difficult to find a public phone. In my last posts, I was being sarcastic, but it is true that in our highschool, there are no public phones. After the final bell rings - kids may not use the school phones. So, if they miss the bus, their practice runs late, etc - unless you have a cell - you cannot call anybody.When we were kids - our parents used to make sure we had a dime/quarter to call home for emergencies. Now, in many situations, kids need a cell phone to call home.I for one, will not rely on coaches, friends, etc to always have a cell handy in order for my kid to call me if needed. My kids all got cell phones as soon as they spent any time away from me - ie: sports practice, after school activities, etc. They are cheap and as somebody else said - it is just talk.>>>>


And tis is why i said that the MIGO phone is a great idea, i like the fact that they can reach me and my DH or 911 in case of an emergency, i just don't think they need a cell phone to talk to friends and such. once again just my OP! but i know about the fewer public phones, either that or they are all broken now adays!

You know what..we use my DD's cell as our long distance carrier! She works and pays for her plan herself. She has 900 minutes and unlimited long distance on weekends. We use her hone to call the relatives out of state because it is FREE for us.

 

[clh2]

My DD (12) has a computer hooked to the internet in her room. The REALLY funny part of this, is the computer is about 10 years old, so while it is hooked to the internet, she can't stand how slow it is, and how incapable it is, blah, blah, blah - so she prefers to surf on the net downstairs.

DD also has a cell phone. This was because of me-she HATES it. Anytime she wants to do something out of the norm, she needs to take her phone. She is at a point where she occasionally sees a movie with a girlfriend, or does stuff without parents. In January, DD went on a trip, sponsored by the park and rec department, to a water park about 90 miles from our house. I made DD take the phone. I asked her to call me when they left the waterpark to come home - she did. They left at 3, at 4, she called me to say they were in bumper-to-bumper traffic, and it had started to snow - bad. Then, due to an accident a short while later, she called me to say the bus had not moved in about 20 minutes. Once the bus got moving again, it needed to stop at a wayside, for a potty stop. DD then apologized to me that she used up "extra minutes" because she let others use the phone to call thier parents too. I can't imagine being a chaperone, with only my phone, needing to call the parents of 50 kids. That would have been insane. Bottom line - if we say DD must take the phone - then she needs to take the phone, or she doesn't go were she wants to go.

Well I'm 2 for 3. DD does not have a TV in her room. Nor do we have any plans for that to happen anytime soon.

 

[SillyMe]

I don't have the time (or energy) to read through all the responses. I'll just post my mother's mantra: "Well if all the kids were jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you do it too?"

You're the parent, OP. You can just say no!

Other parents may choose to make decisions different from yours, and that's OK too.

BTW, my 13 yo DD has a computer w/ internet access in her room. I monitor that.

We only have one TV with reception.

My DD is on a crusade to get a cell phone and my DH is on her side, but guess what: she's not getting one because I feel it is a frivolity that we do not need.

If I worked during the time she was home from school, I would rethink my position. See, different solutions to different situations.

Admit it Punkin...you hooked it up in her room to keep her occupied while you were vying for Flava Flav's loooovvvvveee.

 

[DWDreams]

My daughter, age 11, has none of these things in her room and I don't plan on getting her a cell phone anytime soon. That's my choice, she certainly asks for it and I hear the "but everyone else has them" line all the time. Just because that is my choice for her, though, certainly doesn't mean I look down or condemn other parents for making other choices. It shouldn't be a big deal what another family does, I don't get it.

Since it apparently is a big deal, though, I have to say I wonder about that. Never once have I ever felt upset from my daughter that she wouldn't fit in for not having these things. I understand how upsetting it may be to see a child upset about social relationships and not fitting in, but I think you're on the wrong track here because I doubt this would be a reason for a kid not to feel like they were fitting in. It just isn't true that "everyone" has these things, it just isn't. So, rather than expending all this energy blaming parents for things that are essentially meaningless to the actual problem, I'd see if there might not be better ways to help your son feel like he fits in.

 

[hucifer]

Admit it Punkin...you hooked it up in her room to keep her occupied while you were vying for Flava Flav's loooovvvvveee.

 

[ChristmasElf]

No, this is not tounge in cheek. And, no, I don't think a 12 year old needs a regular cell phone to keep in touch with his parents! A phone programmed with the parents numbers works just fine, and is cheap too. And, sorry, but no 10 year old needs a TV in his room or computer for that matter.

What you do or not do for your son as far as a TV or computer go is your business.

My children all do have a TV in their room. SO WHAT. That way there is no fighting over who wants to watch what.
As far as the computer goes, there is the kids computers that are all on a long desk in the game room where everyone else can see what they are doing at any given time. I took away MY SPACE several months ago as I feel that site was nothing but a waste of time, they could talk to their friends on the phone-they didn't have to post their everyday lives on the internet.
As far as cell phones go, the oldest kids have one, the younger ones do not as they do not drive and are not out in the evenings with friends-so I feel there really is no need for them yet. But that being said, cell phones are easy to just add to your account for very little extra money and they do provide that piece of mind.

You know, everybody's kids at one time or another are going to come home and announce that "Joey has this, and I want that too" No reason to get upset over it. Just tell Johny (or whoever) the reasons YOU feel that particular item is not needed in your family at that time.

My kids may or may not be spoiled in someone else's eyes. I do what I feel we need, they need and what we can give them. No one else's business. Pure and simple.

 

[powellrj]

I just went back and read some old threads! http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?p=11860452#post11860452

Why would you post on a message board that you have such a low opinion of the other poster?