To the parents of teens...I am fed up with you!!

[powellrj]

WOW, you go to work and miss all the good stuff.

 

[charlie,nj]

Dr. Phil says:

Protect Your Children From Internet Pedophiles

One in four children in chat rooms on the Internet will be solicited by a child predator. These pedophiles seek a target-rich environment for finding their prey, and the Internet has become their flocking ground. To insure that your children and household are safe from the threat of these predators, consider these tips from Detective James Brown, officer in charge of the LAPD's Sexually Exploited Child Unit and a guest on the show.

Never, ever leave your child alone in a room with a computer connected to the Internet.

Any Internet-connected computer should be in the community part of the house. It should only be used when parents are home and monitoring their children's activity on the computer. Think about it like this; Would you ever let a stranger go up to your child's room and talk to them alone for four hours? Would you ever leave your child alone in a park and come back four hours later? It is a myth that a child on a computer at home is safe. At the least, they may be exposed to sexually explicit materials, and at the worst, they can be lured by an Internet pedophile.



.

 

[Wishing on a star]

My apologies kcork...
I never lumped in ALL teachers.
Just that I think it is a significant factor.

It is apparent now that this parenting issue is not the only one that the OP does not have a good handle on.

 

[poohandwendy]

I agree with Dr Phil, Charlie, to an extent. I think age and maturity level should also be taken into consideration...as well as parental controls.
To say that a 16/17 yo cannot be safe with, therefore should not have, the internet in their room, IMO, is an overstatement and not necessarily true.

 

[kcork1026]

My apologies kcork...
I never lumped in ALL teachers.
Just that I think it is a significant factor.

It is apparant now that this parenting issue is not the only one that the OP does not have a good handle on.

It's all good....

 

[Lanshark]

Sounds like a real lack of accountability and responsibility on your part by blaming others for your difficulities with your son. If he doesn't fit it examine what you're doing incorrectly or how he needs to change his behavior.

"The world has to change to suit me", mentality is a cop out.

 

[CRAZEDMOMOF2]

"The world has to change to suit me", mentality is a cop out.

I call it LAZINESS

 

[Katie]

Wow..what a post! 16 pages in one day!



My kids have all three of the "vices" the OP was upset about.
My 14 yr DD has a cell phone, DVD, and TV in her room. The cell phone was a no brainer. 10.00 more a month, and I know exactly where she is at all times. I call..she answers! As far as the TV in her room, she watches only after 9:00 pm and lights out at 11:00 pm.

My 11 DS has a TV but it doesn't get any channels, he uses it ONLY for PS2 games and watching DVD's. He does not have a cell phone, but next fall when he starts JR sports, he will have one. I don't worry about him abusing it, I worry about him losing it!

My kids share a computer and the computer is the family room. Where my DH and I can peek if we wish and see what is going on. They use it mostly for AIM and MY SPACE.(ok, i know..not a great thing..but I do monitor it closely)

My kids are far from lazy. My DS(11) plays on 3 baseball teams, 3 basketball teams, 2 soccer teams, and plays football. He is also a STRAIGHT A student and the "leader" of the class, per his teachers. He seldom watches TV unless it is ESPN. My DD(14) is a cheerleader, plays softball and soccer. She is an A/B student. She uses the computer and phone a "normal" amount for an 14 year girl.

Honestly, I use the computer and TV more than both of them combined, I guess I am the lazy one! Oh well, there are worse things I could be doing

 

[momrek06]

WHAT I AM MOST CURIOUS ABOUT IS WHY DID THE OP CHOOSE

THE DIS BOARDS TO POST THIS THREAD??????


I THINK SHE ACTUALLY SHOULD HAVE POSTED ON HER LOCAL ACCESS CHANNEL IN HER TOWN. AFTER ALL, IT IS THOSE PARENTS IN HER TOWN SHE IS FED UP WITH, NOT US.

WHERE IS THE OP?? WELL IF ANYONE HEARS FROM HER AND WANTS TO KNOW WHERE I AM, I WILL BE AT CURCUIT CITY AND BEST BUY LOOKING TO PURCHASE A FLAT SCREEN PLASMA HI DEF 52 IN SCREEN TV FOR MY DS' ROOM!!! LOL!!!
(i couldn't resist)(a little humor is healthy)

 

[DisneyDotty]

When my kids start whining about why they don't have what so and so has, I just say, "Cause so and so has a nice mom, and you have a mean one!"
BTW-Nope, no TV's in kids' rooms (already have four in our house--that's plenty!)
I haven't read the whole thread, so this may have already been pointed out...And this will --or maybe not, as there are a lot of confident parents here, and I say good for you!--but there was a study released last summer that showed a correlation between TV's in kids' bedrooms and decrease in academic perfomance (www.medpagetoday.com/Pediatrics/Parenting/tb/1303)
but a computer in the bedroom actually may help.

 

[jodifla]

DS is only 4, but I'm making a list so I can stock his room with all the offending gadgets as soon as he hits puberty....

Because parents like me love to make it difficult for parents like the OP. In fact, I sort of live for it.

 

[crazee4mickey]

That's not really fair blasting all parents because of problems you are having with your own child...I sincerely hope you weren't serious!

My 4 kids (ages 19, 17, 9, and 7) all have their own TV and DVD player in their bedrooms mainly because they don't like watching what we watch, plus the 19 and 9 y.o. have VCRs. As well the 3 oldest are boys and have their own video systems(which they bought with their own money)

The 2 oldest have cellphones because they are driving so its more for my peace of mind----

We do this because we can afford to and I really don't appreciate being asked if we are lazy, don't like talking, or monitoring our children.....not that it is really any of your business but we do have a strong family who spend lots of time together and we do keep very close "tabs" on our kids especially at the computers!

 

[foolishmortal]

Dr. Phil says:

Protect Your Children From Internet Pedophiles

One in four children in chat rooms on the Internet will be solicited by a child predator. These pedophiles seek a target-rich environment for finding their prey, and the Internet has become their flocking ground. To insure that your children and household are safe from the threat of these predators, consider these tips from Detective James Brown, officer in charge of the LAPD's Sexually Exploited Child Unit and a guest on the show.

Never, ever leave your child alone in a room with a computer connected to the Internet.

Any Internet-connected computer should be in the community part of the house. It should only be used when parents are home and monitoring their children's activity on the computer. Think about it like this; Would you ever let a stranger go up to your child's room and talk to them alone for four hours? Would you ever leave your child alone in a park and come back four hours later? It is a myth that a child on a computer at home is safe. At the least, they may be exposed to sexually explicit materials, and at the worst, they can be lured by an Internet pedophile.



.

and yet more kids are kidnapped outside or at malls and school....hmmmm keep spreading that around though it all makes sense.

While all of what is said as meaning it is another false sense of security. Just like the media blaming MYSPACE for all that is wrong with the internet...well MYSPACE is probabaly one of the tamest websites there is, but since the media got ahold of it you would think it's the worst.

For all of you thinking myspace is bad go check out xanga or vampirefreaks.com

there is far worse than myspace out there!

 

[Katie]

Ha ha..love that one!

 

[HayGan]

DS is only 4, but I'm making a list so I can stock his room with all the offending gadgets as soon as he hits puberty....

Because parents like me love to make it difficult for parents like the OP. In fact, I sort of live for it.

Why wait for puberty? Come join the darkside with me

 

[hydster]

All you have to do is look at my signature to see that I am a card carrying member of the bad parent group. Yep we have 5 tv's and 4 computers in our house and 2 of the tv's are in the kids rooms along with dvd/vcr for dd and x-box for the boys. We have 2 tivo's one in our room and one in the family room. No cell phone yet but that's because they are still in Elementary school but I will assume that when dd gets to Jr. High next fall that she will be sharing minutes with me. In our neighborhood we have 7 pedophiles on record in just a 2 block radius that have been incarcerated and then parolled. You can bet your bippy that my kids will ALL have a cell phone when they get to Jr. High because for now I drive them each way but in Jr. High I won't be able to do so. I want my dd to feel she can call the cops any time if one of these scumbags approach her or call me if needed. You can't just walk down the street and find a pay phone these days and geez with the amount of the call changing what if she didn't have the right amount of change?

Our kids know the limit they can test as far as what they can watch and we have all of our computers on 24 hr surveillance and if ONE site is accessed by bypassing the filter or the parental control we will know who/when and where they went and I can guarantee you they'll only do it once.

We aren't LAZY we are trusting of our kids and let them make some of their life decisions on their own. Sure there are a lot of things they do NOT get to decide about their lives but geeez they do need to learn they can be trusted and that with the trust comes either reward or consequence.

Oh and we go to Disney at least once a year and I have been known to yank my kids out of school to go........but I guess those days don't count for FAMILY TIME if you are on vacation but only if you are home in the regular day to day grinde playing "lame" board games...gotcha!

 

[Makdyn]

My girls who are 5 and 2 have a t.v., basic cable, vcr, and dvd player in their room. dd 5 did have a computer in her room for away why dd 2 was still sleeping in my room, but then we moved and dd 2 moved into to dd 5 room and there was no room for the P.C.

The reason for this was I got a new tv for the living room and the old one was in good condition just wanted a bigger one so put it in dd 5 room. It did not have cable cause it was not cable ready and I did not have a lot of vcr tapes and she did so the vcr moved in her room and I just kept the dvd in the living room. Then my job was getting rid of all the old P.C. so I took on home for dd because I just bought a new one and she always wanted to go on that one. There was no internet hook up in her room so it was just for games. Then great grandmother bought dd 5 a dvd for christmas. The tv broke so got a new that was cable ready, cable wire already in the room screwed it in and now they have cable. DD5 know how to work everything from switching the wire from the vcr to the dvd player and she goes on my computer online to disney.com and nickjr.com and plays games.

 

[momrek06]

WOW this is amazing. This THREAD started at 12:30pm and it is only 5pm and up to 19 whole pages.... (to the MODS, is this a record?)

This going to be an exciting Tuesday night....

Watching this THREAD will be better than PRIME TIME TV....

I am going to make dinner for DH and I, shower up, pop my popcorn and sit by the computer and munch and read and munch and post and then read all on this THREAD!!!!

 

[goofy4tink]

I haven't read all the previous posts...I will but I have to go to dd's concert in 20 minutes!!! But, I have to say...she doesn't have a computer in her room, she doesn't have a tv in her room (she does have her portable DVD player though) and she does not have a cell phone, much to her chagrin. It amazes me to see the kids in her class with the phones.
Call me a bad mommy, but if she's not responsible enough to keep her room clean, or learn to do laundry, then she doesn't need a phone. And there will never be a computer or a tv in her bedroom. She does have one in her playroom, but that's as far as I'll go!!!

 

[JoiseyMom]

My son is on a campaign because he wants the following items that "everyone" has...

1) He wants a TV in his room. Every child he knows has their own TV and DVD player in their room.

2) He wants a computer in his room! Of course, every child he know has one in their room.

3) He wants a cell phone. Now, he has a MIGO, which is a phone with 4 programmed numbers where he can reach my husband and I, but he is teased about it and he is embarrassed about it.


I don't get parents...Why does a teenager, especially 12-15 year old, need a TV and computer in their room? It makes me really angry at other parents, because I blame them, not the children. It infuriates me, because I see it as laziness on the part of parents, and because of this, my child doesn't fit in. He also doesn't get why he can't have one.

Why would you want your child to have a TV in their room? So you don't have to see them or talk to them? So you don't have to be bothered with monitoring their TV programs? What about a computer? So they can surf and email on a computer and go on MYSPACE and again you don't have to be bothered by it? I don't get why kids need these things and why it's so popular that they have them in their room.

Why does a 12 year old need a regular cell phone? Why does any teen who doesn't drive yet need a cell phone?

Well if you don't want those things for your child that is fine. But why are other parents wrong?? My DD10 has a tv/vcr/dvd player and a computer in her bedroom. I do monitor her tv watching, it's called the v-chip, and is in the parental controls in the cable box. My ds5 has a tv/vcr/dvd player in his room too. He will be getting a computer very soon. We are pricing them now. My DD doesn't know what myspace is, and only has family members on her buddy list. And we control her access to her computer also.

It has nothing to do with laziness. I don't want my dd watching what I watch on tv, or my ds for that matter. If my son wants to play clifford and dd Harry Potter, why should they have to fight over a pc. They can each do their own things. Nothing wrong with that.

I don't see why a child needs a cell phone, and I tell my dd no. I don't care that so and so has it. Not my problem. It doesn't mean the other parents are bad, just that they have their reasons. My dd also wants an IPOD, guess what, she isn't getting one. She will be getting a much more inexpensive MP3 player.

Just because a child doesn't need these things doesn't make them wrong. All my kids don't need all the things they have. My dh and I don't need all the things we have, but ya know what?? If we can afford them, and want them, there is nothing wrong with having them. To each their own.

Parents set limits, and you have set yours, just don't blame other parents.