To Surprise or not Surprise?

[Beemitchcowski]

I have a 6 year old Autistic child...very high functioning and quite verbal. Our main challenges with him comes with transitioning/sensory/waiting/taking turns and such.

We are planning on a trip to Disney in the near future. So far I don't think he has caught on to our trip. I've been wanting to make it into a surprise trip..but the more I think about it...I feel like I would be a better parent if I prepared him. I found an awesome site www.wdwautism.com....Its a great site full of images for a picture schedule and social stories. I'm thinking that the social story regarding waiting in line and meeting with the characters would be a GREAT help! I know his therapists and teachers at school would help me prepare him as well.


So I guess my question is....would you still make it a "surprise"? Should I just surprise him a couple days before and then go through the social stories? Do you think just suprising him that day and then letting him read the social stories on the airplane?

Thank you!

 

[bopper]

I think you know the answer to this question because you are asking it.

Surprising someone with a WDW trip seems like Fun! But you know your son...would that add to his enjoyment or take away from it? Would he have a better time at WDW if he had more time to prepare? The fun of the surprise lasts a few minutes, but the actual vacation lasts a week.

 

[bookwormde]

In gerneral surprises detract from our kids fun when they are on this maginitude. Now surprising him with some new items on the trip might be a good idea to let him stretch a little, but as allways be perpared for a negative reaction and have a backup plan.

 

[kirstenb1]

Is it his first visit? Our dd is the same age, same dx. Surprises seem to backfire on us, so I wouldn't do it.

She has been to WDW several times. What does help, is about a month before we leave, we start talking about our trip. DH and I show her Youtube videos of favorite, familiar rides and shows. We talk about new rides and shows, and watch their videos too. She's scared of anything "too fast". So she doesn't like coasters. She's also still scared of the characters. Her teacher came up with a social story for that, saying she doesn't have to go near the characters. She can just wave Hi, and keep walking. Good luck with your trip!!!

 

[Beemitchcowski]

Thank you for your replies. I discussed the situation with his Teacher and she recommended telling him about the trip about a week before...It will give him time to prepare..but then we won't hear about it every minute! .....I found a site that has social stories/pictures. I will print them out and also make a countdown calendar! He isn't scared of fast rides nor characters...but I know we will be dealing with the challenges that come with waiting in line and giving the characters "personal space". Thank you for your input. Bopper...you're right...I pretty much knew the answer!

 

[Beemitchcowski]

Is it his first visit? Our dd is the same age, same dx. Surprises seem to backfire on us, so I wouldn't do it.

She has been to WDW several times. What does help, is about a month before we leave, we start talking about our trip. DH and I show her Youtube videos of favorite, familiar rides and shows. We talk about new rides and shows, and watch their videos too. She's scared of anything "too fast". So she doesn't like coasters. She's also still scared of the characters. Her teacher came up with a social story for that, saying she doesn't have to go near the characters. She can just wave Hi, and keep walking. Good luck with your trip!!!

Yes...Its his first visit!

 

[Maggie'sMom]

My DDis bipolar, not ASD, but we deal with a lot of the same issues with difficulty transitioning, inflexibility, low frustration tolerance, sensory processing, etc. I surprised her for our last trip, and it went well, BUT

1) It was our 3rd trip to WDW;
2) She knew a trip was coming sometime, she just didn't know when; and
3) I'd let her participate in the planning by having a lot of conversations about "whenever we go to WDW next, would you want to ..."

She handled the surprise well and we had a great trip. However, she was very insistent that she didn't want our next trip to be a surprise. She wanted to be in on the planning from the beginning. So for our May trip she has helped select the dates, the resort we are staying at, and a few of the TS restaurants we will be making ADRs for. As we get closer, I'm sure she will participate in the planning of park days as well.

I think, at least for this trip, your plan to tell your son about a week ahead of time is a good one.

 

[Escape2Disney]

I agree with his teacher and pp. Surprises tend to derail my aspie daughter. I remember her father tried to surprise her with a drive to one of her favorite places. She was so upset that he sprung it on her that she refused to talk to him all day! She shut down, making the trip a resounding failure.

I think the planning calendar is a great idea!

Have a great trip!

 

[SueM in MN]

Since this is about a Disney trip, I am going to move it to the disABILITIES Board from the disABILITIES Community Board.

I agree with the other posters that not surprising is the better option.
Even some children without challenges don't like to be surprised. On our last trip, my niece and her daughter joined us at WDW for part of our trip. The daughter knew she was going on a trip " to see Aunt Sue."
She even knew they were flying. They left early and she was not totally awake and missed any references to Orlando until they landed. She was not happy at first because she thought she would not get to see my family.

There are some other resources that might help you in post 3 of the disABILITIES FAQs thread, which is located near the top of this board or you can use the link in my signature to get there.
There is a really nice journal/scrapbook/ social story book that a DIS poster made for her son. Hers is very complete, but if you don't have the time or inclination to make one like that, it can still give you some ideas.

 

[Mama Who]

I would not surprise an autistic kid with something this big. Pretty much every one I've known needs some processing time for a change of scene like that. (And of course, not every autie is the same, but it's a common enough theme that it seems like a bad risk...)

 

[piratemommy12]

We have a 6 year old with high functioning autism as well. Surprises sometimes work and sometimes don't with him. This is our first family trip and we are headed there in October. We told him about a month ago and bought him a Birnbaum Guides WDW for Kids book. He loves to look at the book. We also ordered the maps online from Disney. I think we are going to have a little tour guide by the time we get there but I think this last month has been fun just to see the excitement in him. He normally doesn't get excited about too much.

 

[ireland_nicole]

I had to surprise my kids with one of our trips (DD started having seizures right after we booked and wasn't cleared to go until 24 hours beforehand.) Anyway, my kids love Disney more than anything in the whole world and the surprise went really badly. There were tears, and full melt downs for about 4 hours of the 20 hour trip. (we drive). They were panicked about homework, and where the dogs were, and if the house was safe etc, and I think they just felt that their world had spun out of control for a bit. She still mentions it (PDD-NOS) and made me promise never to do it again. We work on encouraging her with "smaller" surprises at home and on trips, and tell her there will be a surprise on x day of our itenerary, and have built trust with her that they are always good, (for instance, this trip the dessert party and akurshus breakfast) but never, ever large scale surprises. She just can't take it.

Personally, I've learned to give them as much time as possible. Do they get excited? Yep! Do I sometimes get tired of hearing about it? Actually, no, because I'm just as obsessed LOL. But like PP's, DD does so much better when she can help plan everything and be part of it. Lots of the rides she used to be scared of and wouldn't consider she has tried after watching youtube videos of them, and you can't do that without time. You know your kid best, but for us, the more time the better.

 

[Beemitchcowski]

Thank you for everyone who took the time to reply!--You all have made really good points! We are not going to entirely surprise him...but when we do tell him..its going to be somewhat of a "surprise"...I think we are going to tell him sometime next weekend so it will give him a week to ask questions...look online at youtube videos. Also, At school..he gets to "earn" special things for good behavior...so I think I am going to see if the teacher wouldn't mind helping him "earn" our homemade "Disney Dollars--or treat vouchers"....since I know he is going to ask for EVERYTHING while we are there!.....I can't wait to tell him!

 

[SueM in MN]

Thank you for everyone who took the time to reply!--You all have made really good points! We are not going to entirely surprise him...but when we do tell him..its going to be somewhat of a "surprise"...I think we are going to tell him sometime next weekend so it will give him a week to ask questions...look online at youtube videos. Also, At school..he gets to "earn" special things for good behavior...so I think I am going to see if the teacher wouldn't mind helping him "earn" our homemade "Disney Dollars--or treat vouchers"....since I know he is going to ask for EVERYTHING while we are there!.....I can't wait to tell him!

there is a link to a really good set of WDW youtube videos on post 3 of the disABILITIES FAQs thread.
The videos are all connected together and are arranged as if you were entering the park. Then you walk by different attractions, the narrator tells a bit about that attraction and the narrator asks if you want to go in or walk by. if you do nothing, you will walk by to the next attraction.
If you choose to go in, it will switch to a new video that shows the waiting in line, loading onto the ride and at least part of the ride.
I have not watched it in a while, but I think they include Toontown, which has been torn down to construct the New Fantasyland. So, you do need to be aware of that, plus any attractions that might be closed.
other than that, it’s great.

 

[tomboy_m]

If you have any questions about surprising him don't do it. I surprised my 6 year old who does not happen to have autism with a trip to Disneyland and she was upset the whole time because she had been tricked.