To All Grandma's... Your Experiences...?

[MickeySP]

I became a Mema at 45, and yes I was no way ready to be one, just to be honest. No you don't need her "permission" and I am sure she knows that but would you rather she not tell you her feelings.

There are things in life you need to transition into and letting go of you being her "baby" and you having a baby is one of them. When I look at my DS I saw the kid with Spaghettios in his hair and nose, not the grown man he is. That took an adjustment. Parenst are people too with real feelings and fears - this may be one of hers. I might ask her what makes her not ready - is it the title "Grandma"?

Yes it is about getting older, not an easy thing for some. Cut her some slack, just like you will need some day fom your kids, it really is all cyclical.

Is Mom married or single? I ask that because I was and telling your perspective date you are a grandma is well, not an easy thing at first. Before I get jumped on I said at first, now I am proud of it.

Now I cannot tell you the joy my Princess Autumn Jade brings to me. The first time your child touches her finger or face all the crap of age etc... will be gone.

Autsy is my best friend and I would love for my son & his DW to have 10 more

It was also one of the first times I saw my DS for the real man he had become. Heck I raised a grown-up He is a wonderful Dad, Husband and son and I tell him everyday how much I love him.

 

[tigercat]

I was 38 when I became a Grandme for the first time. I am now 55 and have 5. I love being a grandma. I was however not really happy when my dd came to tell me she was expecting as she was only 16 at the time. She had her dd 10 days after her 17th birthday. I never however didn't want the baby and was thrilled when I watched her being born. My time with my grandkids is valuable and I enjoy every minute. I do get tired now though and the good thing is I get to enjoy them and then they go home and I can rest until the next time.
tigercat

 

[CathrynRose]

I had my oldest when I was 17, and my (now ex husband, then boyfriend) was 18. His mother had him at age 16 (she's now 54 and still with my ex's Dad... )

SO.... She was 34 and My Mom was 40.

So no.

(But the thought of having a 3 y.o grandchild, right now - like my ex MIL had? Holy Moly!!! No wonder both my mom and her had to tell everyone he wasn't 'theirs' but rather their grand son!)

 

[minniecarousel]

Oh, honey - it's not about her!

She'll have time to get used to the idea. Hopefully, when the baby is born, she'll be an involved grandparent.

I'm not a grandma yet, but I'll be thrilled when the time comes. (he-he, I've been told it's none of my business, anyway - no duh!)

 

[Disney Doll]

Tell Grandma to get over herself, She doesn't get to decide when the grandkids come.

 

[Mickey527]

If you are ready to have a child that is all that matters.
When I became pregnant with my now 33 year old my MIL invited me out to lunch. She never bothered to spend time with me before so I thought she wanted to talk baby stuff and was going to like me now that I was helping to carry on the family name.She asked me to "take care of it" and she would pay because she was too young to be a grandmother. She never really was a good grandmother but my mother made up for it and my son never really cared. Of course he never loved GMIL the way he loved my mother.
I am now a grandmother and he has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. My son is divorced and he has full custody and they moved back here with me so I get to see my grandson every day.
% years ago I was going through chemo and was deathly ill. I told the Dr to stop the chemo. My son came to the hospital to visit and brought me the sonogram of my grandson and I told the Dr the next day to hit me with whatever he had to.
I am 6 years now, 4 to go before I can be called cancer free, but I am enjoying every day because of my grandson.

 

[acmmommymouse]

Awesome!! My best friend and I have discussed in detail how awesome we are going to be when we're grandmothers-down to the trips we're going to take them on. While I can wait-DD is only 13!!-I truly look forward to the day I have grandchildren. Cookies for breakfast at Grannies!!

My daughter,the aunt of my granddaughter, and I have our trip to WDW planned for my granddaughter to go with us. I put aside money all the time for it. We want her to be 4 yr. old when we take her and she is 2 1/2 now. Haven't told her mom and dad yet!!!!! We just spent the last 2 days shopping for Christmas for her!!! It is truly the best and you will love it when it happens to you. Yup, and the last time she stayed with me she wanted Mac and Cheese for BREAKFAST........so that's what she had!!!!!!!!

 

[kellyg403]

I was 41 when I had 3 grandchildren in the space of 7 months. I didn't feel ready...not because I was too young to be a grandma but because I really couldn't believe my children were grown up. It was hard emotionally, but I sure did love those babies. I looked at their faces when they were each born and saw their parents, my children. It was humbling and for a mom a little bit sad. I remembered days I had long forgotten..or thought I had..

So, honestly...while she says she is not ready to be a grandma, and IMHO should not have said that to you, it could be more feeling like the transistion of time is going faster than she can accept.

Its really hard being a mom as the kids finally start moving away. Sometimes I feel like I don't have a family anymore...I really miss the holiday season and looking and finding the one gift they couldn't live without, hiding things knowing full well they would find them. So, yes...being a mom is one thing but being a grandma has definitely been wonderful too!

Kelly

 

[Stitchfans]

I am 53 and my first grandson is due to arrive on the 20th of December. Couldn't be happier! It's just a number as they say. Besides I would rather I was young enough to enjoy my grandchildren so I can somewhat keep up and play with them.

 

[Becky2005]

My parents had grandkids before I had my children, so I didn't go through this.

I think it's just hard when that thought of "grandma" for the first time.

It's just like I could never picture myself as being the mom of a teenager. Yet here I am.

Or when you first get married and if you have taken your husband's name, don't like to be called Mrs. XYZ because "that's my MIL - NOT me" type of thinking.

Since I was 14 when my first nephew was born, my parents had been grandparents for over 10 years when my DD was born. People still thought she was my mom's baby all the time (not sure what I was but they literally thought DD was her child).

 

[Shmily1]

I don't seem to have that problem. I am 42 and have been a Grandma (step) since I was 25. It never bothered me at all. The youngest grandson is now 16 months, but the youngest (Step) great granddaughter is 1 month. I love taking them on trips! The 16 month old has been to WDW several times and I'm trying to plan his next adventure. I really don't care what others' perception of me or my grandchildren are. The babies all know I love them and that's all that matters.

 

[Colleen27]

My mom had those moments too, partly because I was very young (18) when I had my oldest. She still wasn't really a young grandmother, though, because I wasn't born until she was 32.

She got over worrying about being a young grandma pretty quick when people started mistaking her for DS's mom. Apparently, it is quite flattering to look young enough to be the mother of an infant at 50!

 

[AKL_Megs]

Thanks, everyone, for ALL of the responses! I appreciate it! I just wish she hadn't said anything at all, but I can rest assure she will perk up once we tell her and start shopping for cute baby things!

 

[disneychic2]

Glad you're feeling better about it. I cannot believe your mother cares what "people" will think! What makes their opinion of her or of you matter? Don't let her immediate response get you down. This is a magical time for you and your DH. Don't let anyone steal your joy. She'll come around when the baby is born...probably a lot sooner than that! Good luck to you and your DH!

 

[luvflorida]

I think I'm the odd one out here. I wear my gray hair proudly!

I dyed my hair for many, many years, keeping it the same shade as my original color, a light brunette. My first grandchild was born a few months after I turned 53. I few months after that, I stopped dying my hair and let it go silver/gray. The thing is, I WANTED everyone to know that I was this precious little boy's grandmother and not his mother. Not that anyone would probably have thought otherwise. And, I don't really feel old, anyway.

I don't know how strangers know, but there have been many times that we've been out with our grandson, and someone has guessed correctly that he is our first grandchild. I always ask how they know, and it's always kind of vague, "Oh, I just can tell!" I'm not sure if it's because we look inept or because we don't want to let go of him.

As far as becoming a grandmother, I have to say, it wasn't really something that I thought about much. I mean, I always figured I'd be a grandmother at some point in my life, but it wasn't something I was constantly thinking about. My middle child was the first to get married, and she and her husband were finishing up Grad school at the time. I know I was kind of hoping they'd wait a few years until they had children, not so much because I didn't feel ready to be a grandmother, but more so they were settled in marriage and careers.

Three years after they were married, our first grandchild was born. My husband and I were (and still are!) in seventh heaven! Talk about love at first sight!! I'm actually tearing up as I type! Our grandson is now a little over two years old and he is the love of our lives!

When we first found out that we were going to be grandparents, it did take some time to adjust to the thought. I just couldn't imagine someone calling me "grandma". That was what MY kids called MY mother! Me, a grandma? No way!

Let me just say, that there is NOTHING like being a grandparent! This little guy is so much a part of our everyday lives. He brings immeasurable joy, love, and fun into our lives. It's like a do-again. Everything we experienced with our own three kids (now all adults) we get to do again! Only this time we get to do all the fun stuff with breaks in between.

We hosted Thanksgiving this year and had all of our immediate family at our house for five days. I can't describe adequately the feeling of seeing DS30 walk in the door and seeing our grandson run into the arms of his favorite uncle. Our son lives about eight hours away, so he doesn't get to see his nephew as often as the rest of the family. Our grandson just loves his uncle! It was priceless watching our son put on an impromptu puppet show with Carter's stuffed animals one night before Carter's bedtime.

This year, for the first time in many years, there will be a tricycle under our Christmas tree. It is so much fun to go out and shop for little kid things again! And, Carter is getting a little sister in February, so I've been having a blast shopping for our first granddaughter!

Oh yeah, as far as being called "grandma", don't count on it! Carter called us "Grum" and "Grumpa" for awhile. We are now known as "Damma" and "Dampa".

 

[minkydog]

I think I'm the odd one out here. I wear my gray hair proudly!

I dyed my hair for many, many years, keeping it the same shade as my original color, a light brunette. My first grandchild was born a few months after I turned 53. I few months after that, I stopped dying my hair and let it go silver/gray. The thing is, I WANTED everyone to know that I was this precious little boy's grandmother and not his mother. Not that anyone would probably have thought otherwise. And, I don't really feel old, anyway.



Oh yeah, as far as being called "grandma", don't count on it! Carter called us "Grum" and "Grumpa" for awhile. We are now known as "Damma" and "Dampa".

Just wanted to speak up and say you're not alone. I colored my hair for a number of years. Then in 2007 we took a 2 month long RV trip with the kids and well, it's really hard keeping up with the roots in campground bathrooms. So I let it grow out and was surprised at how pretty the gray is. My hair is about 1/2 silver now, mostly in the front around my face. My kids say they prefer the way it looks now.

And I had to laugh about your names. Kids usually pick the names themselves. When DS24 was born my MIL decided to call herself Grandmother LastName. She is very formal and standoffish. Which didn't matter one whit to DS--he renamed her Playmom and that's what she's been ever since. My folks have been alternately "Granny" "Ginny" "Gumpa" "Granpa" and "AAAAIIII". They know who they are.

 

[golfgal]

I think I'm the odd one out here. I wear my gray hair proudly!

I dyed my hair for many, many years, keeping it the same shade as my original color, a light brunette. My first grandchild was born a few months after I turned 53. I few months after that, I stopped dying my hair and let it go silver/gray. The thing is, I WANTED everyone to know that I was this precious little boy's grandmother and not his mother. Not that anyone would probably have thought otherwise. And, I don't really feel old, anyway.

I don't know how strangers know, but there have been many times that we've been out with our grandson, and someone has guessed correctly that he is our first grandchild. I always ask how they know, and it's always kind of vague, "Oh, I just can tell!" I'm not sure if it's because we look inept or because we don't want to let go of him.

As far as becoming a grandmother, I have to say, it wasn't really something that I thought about much. I mean, I always figured I'd be a grandmother at some point in my life, but it wasn't something I was constantly thinking about. My middle child was the first to get married, and she and her husband were finishing up Grad school at the time. I know I was kind of hoping they'd wait a few years until they had children, not so much because I didn't feel ready to be a grandmother, but more so they were settled in marriage and careers.

Three years after they were married, our first grandchild was born. My husband and I were (and still are!) in seventh heaven! Talk about love at first sight!! I'm actually tearing up as I type! Our grandson is now a little over two years old and he is the love of our lives!

When we first found out that we were going to be grandparents, it did take some time to adjust to the thought. I just couldn't imagine someone calling me "grandma". That was what MY kids called MY mother! Me, a grandma? No way!

Let me just say, that there is NOTHING like being a grandparent! This little guy is so much a part of our everyday lives. He brings immeasurable joy, love, and fun into our lives. It's like a do-again. Everything we experienced with our own three kids (now all adults) we get to do again! Only this time we get to do all the fun stuff with breaks in between.

We hosted Thanksgiving this year and had all of our immediate family at our house for five days. I can't describe adequately the feeling of seeing DS30 walk in the door and seeing our grandson run into the arms of his favorite uncle. Our son lives about eight hours away, so he doesn't get to see his nephew as often as the rest of the family. Our grandson just loves his uncle! It was priceless watching our son put on an impromptu puppet show with Carter's stuffed animals one night before Carter's bedtime.

This year, for the first time in many years, there will be a tricycle under our Christmas tree. It is so much fun to go out and shop for little kid things again! And, Carter is getting a little sister in February, so I've been having a blast shopping for our first granddaughter!

Oh yeah, as far as being called "grandma", don't count on it! Carter called us "Grum" and "Grumpa" for awhile. We are now known as "Damma" and "Dampa".

I will probably stop dying my hair when I have grandkids too but I would be ALL GRAY now and I am NOT ready for that in my mid-40's

 

[kim929]

Hi,
At the age of 43 I became a grandmother. My oldest dd was 19 when she had my granddaughter, and my youngest child was 7, so dgd gets mistaken as my daughter. I get the "omg, you are to young to be a grandma" all the time, once your mother starts hearing that, her ego will inflate and she will be taking the baby all the time...lol
Dont' worry about what she said, nobody I think is really ever ready to face they are going to be a grandparent, because as you said, you have to face your getting older. She will get over it real quick when she holds the baby and says come see grandma....

 

[MickeySP]

I will probably stop dying my hair when I have grandkids too but I would be ALL GRAY now and I am NOT ready for that in my mid-40's

I was in my mid 40's when I became a GM and no way am I going gray So I will be keeping L'Oreal in business for a few more years.

 

[pixiewings71]

I was 38 when my DGD was born. I honestly love it....I'm 39 now and people ask if she's mine. lol I just say "No, I'm the Gma" and smile and walk away. Being a Gma is the best! Your Mom will change her mind once that baby is here for her to hug and love on.