Tips to keep kids safe at WDW.

[Magpie]

...if you wouldn't let your kid walk alone in the ghetto don't let them do it at Disney.

Are you using hyperbole for effect? Or do you intend this to be actual, real advice that you believe every parent should follow?

Because there is a HUGE difference between letting your child walk alone in a ghetto, and allowing them to walk alone in safer circumstances. I have, for example, no concerns about my adult daughter taking the city transit to go to her university classes, but I sure wouldn't want her walking alone in a ghetto!

Also, when writers use exaggeration and fear (always stay in arm's reach, even if the water's just three inches deep) in an attempt to manipulate people into doing the minimum (staying within ten feet), they run the risk of alienating their target audience. ("This person's advice is ridiculous, I'm going to ignore everything else they have to say.")

 

[silenttuba]

Well to each there own opinion..............Teaching a child safety and how to protect themselves, does not mean teaching them fear, quite the opposite, your teaching/empowering them to know they have the skills to protect themselves and not be afraid.

AKK

Of course these things are important. And of course there are dangers. Getting lost, items getting stolen, getting hurt, drowning, all of these are possible, and precautions should be taken (especially around water with young children). My point was really in response to this being a "different day and age", which is what people say when they talk about how dangerous the world is, compared to how safe it used to be, when the exact opposite of that is true.

 

[Tonka's Skipper]

I know the government numbers say that things are safer...................looking around..............I plainly do not believe the government numbers.

If 1 child is hurt its to many............and I do my best to make sure my kids had the skills to protect themselves.

AKK

 

[dmband]

Are you using hyperbole for effect? Or do you intend this to be actual, real advice that you believe every parent should follow?

Because there is a HUGE difference between letting your child walk alone in a ghetto, and allowing them to walk alone in safer circumstances. I have, for example, no concerns about my adult daughter taking the city transit to go to her university classes, but I sure wouldn't want her walking alone in a ghetto!

Also, when writers use exaggeration and fear (always stay in arm's reach, even if the water's just three inches deep) in an attempt to manipulate people into doing the minimum (staying within ten feet), they run the risk of alienating their target audience. ("This person's advice is ridiculous, I'm going to ignore everything else they have to say.")

the point i was trying to get at is you have to teach kids to be safe in all environments. You can't teach them that disney is a safe place and the ghetto isn't when there is just as much that can go wrong at disney as there is in the ghetto
are the odds different, yes but that doesn't mean you should change your teaching or game plan.
Another (extreme) example of this would be using a code word. It is pretty much common knowledge that abductions are often by someone the person knows.
If you would have your child use a code word when being picked up by someone different then they expected at school, why wouldn't you have them use a code word when being met by someone different then expected at disney??
Its about building the core safety techniques not about where you are at.

 

[MystikaFaith]

It's not so much what was said, but how it was said.

I grew up with a mother who constantly reinforced the idea that the world was a terrible place filled with terrible people. The tone presented in this article was very reminiscent of the tone my mother used in her fear mongering.

I've spent years of my adult life in therapy struggling to manage my anxiety, panic attacks and damage my mother has done.

Again, it's good to teach children and their parents how they can best be safe, but how it is done is VERY VERY important or serious lifelong psychologal damage can result.

 

[Magpie]

the point i was trying to get at is you have to teach kids to be safe in all environments. You can't teach them that disney is a safe place and the ghetto isn't when there is just as much that can go wrong at disney as there is in the ghetto
are the odds different, yes but that doesn't mean you should change your teaching or game plan.
Another (extreme) example of this would be using a code word. It is pretty much common knowledge that abductions are often by someone the person knows.
If you would have your child use a code word when being picked up by someone different then they expected at school, why wouldn't you have them use a code word when being met by someone different then expected at disney??
Its about building the core safety techniques not about where you are at.

Absolutely, I will change my game plan, depending on the environment. I would send my seven year old alone to my local grocery store, because we're familiar with the place and he knows and trusts the ladies who work there and can turn to them for help, if needed. However, if I was visiting my dad, in the US, I would not send my seven year old alone to his local grocery store. Different environment, different game plan, different rules!

As for the code word... I'm sure it's very useful for some families, especially ones with complex schedules and a lot of different care arrangements, changing day by day. But, if your child is going to be abducted by their non-custodial parent (most likely case), a code word won't help.

Similarly, I really can't see how a code word would be useful at Disney. Cast members - the people your child needs to identify and turn to for assistance if they're lost - won't know your child's code word. Typically, the scenario presented is some stranger running up to your child and saying, "Come with me, quick! Your mom is hurt!" Then your child is suppose to calmly request a code word from the stranger. And presumably, when the stranger fails to produce the correct code word, the child should run away screaming.

Here's my problem with presenting this scenario to your kid - it presumes that the entire scenario of a strange adult running up to a child and saying, "Come with me, your mom is hurt!" is plausible, might actually happen, and that going with the stranger would be a safe thing to do if s/he gave your child the correct code word! It also assumes mom is too hurt to come herself, but not so hurt that she can't go handing out the family code word to strangers.

That's not something I ever want to teach my kids. What I want them to know is that adults never ask children for help. If an adult does ask for help, be wary. Find a safe adult (ie, a cast member, another mom or dad, someone you know, etc) and ask for help. I taught my kids that strangers - the strangers they choose! - are their first line of defense against people who might hurt them. People will help you, so when in doubt, find lots of people! If my child is ever alone or lost, I want them to find the nearest cast member and ask for help finding us. If a stranger runs up to them, I don't want my child quizzing the stranger on code words, I want my child to immediately grab the nearest cast member and tell them everything!

 

[Tonka's Skipper]

Frankly I am not sure every cashier in Americas stores is safe and could be used for help.

Some adults do ask kids for help I have seen it many time and I did once ask a young boy where a family lived on that street, I did not know the house and I was picking my so up from a scout meeting.

My kids used the codes words and it worked well, and luckily the people that didn't know about the words were not a issue. No quizzing about it with ONE safe word. If the person doesn't know it my kids were told to run away and find a police or as in WDW a CM.

As I said before, teaching a child safety and how to protect themselves, does not mean teaching them fear, quite the opposite, your teaching/empowering them to know they have the skills to protect themselves and not be afraid.

Not everyone as to use the same ideas.

AKK

 

[Awholenewdisney]

While I completely agree with a couple of the tips, such as finding a cast member and always being aware of your surroundings, some are just overkill. Maybe it's because I am from an older generation but I honestly can't imagine raising a kid with a fear everything and everyone attitude. There will always be a potential child molester or abductor anywhere you go. Does that mean that you should push your kid in a stroller whenever you leave the house for the rest of their lives?

 

[JoshuaShaw]

Does that mean that you should push your kid in a stroller whenever you leave the house for the rest of their lives?

Don't be ridiculous.

 

[Magpie]

Frankly I am not sure every cashier in Americas stores is safe and could be used for help.

Some adults do ask kids for help I have seen it many time and I did once ask a young boy where a family lived on that street, I did not know the house and I was picking my so up from a scout meeting.

My kids used the codes words and it worked well, and luckily the people that didn't know about the words were not a issue. No quizzing about it with ONE safe word. If the person doesn't know it my kids were told to run away and find a police or as in WDW a CM.

As I said before, teaching a child safety and how to protect themselves, does not mean teaching them fear, quite the opposite, your teaching/empowering them to know they have the skills to protect themselves and not be afraid.

Not everyone as to use the same ideas.

AKK

Frankly, I'm not sure every mom, dad, family friend, aunt, uncle, big brother or sister, babysitter, teacher, scout leader, coach, police officer or castmember in America (or Canada!) is safe and can be used for help. But that doesn't stop me from encouraging my children to ask these people for help, when they need help.

I'm glad code words worked out well for your family. As I said, I can certainly see how they could be useful in some circumstances. Did your kids ever need them at Disney?

I absolutely agree that teaching a child to be safe and protect themselves does not mean teaching them fear! I allowed my kids to talk to strangers on the bus with me, so that they could develop their own sense of which people were okay and which ones made them uncomfortable. I talked to them about concepts such as, "picking your stranger" and not having the stranger pick them. We played a game of, "What if you were lost or in trouble right now? Of all these people around us, who would you ask for help? What if they didn't help? Who would you ask next?" I taught them that they never go anywhere - even to a neighbour's house - without popping their heads inside to tell me where they're going to be. Basically, everything in Gavin De Becker's excellent book, "Protecting the Gift".

Example: The summer my son was nine, he and his big sister went to grab a pizza at a shop nearby. My son passed out cold, at the counter. While the staff called 911, my 11yo daughter found a female college student standing nearby and asked if she could use her cellphone. She called me. When I arrived, I found my daughter standing on the corner with her college student, waiting for me. The student said, "I'm so glad you're here, she wouldn't let me leave until you arrived!" And I knew my daughter had remembered everything I'd ever taught her about staying safe in an emergency. As for my son, he was sitting up in the back of an ambulance, deeply embarrassed. After checking him out, they gave us a ride home.

After that, the kids got cellphones. Cellphones are the best invention ever, as far as keeping grey hairs off my head!

 

[Tonka's Skipper]

Never at Disney, once at school when my daughter missed her bus and a neighbor found her trying to find the bus monitor to tell them she missed the bus. The neighbor knew the word which was *Tonka* and actually told my daughter it before she had a chance. I am not saying its perfect system, just it worked in our family and others we knew.

We do agree...we have to if them the right tools, whatever those tools are.

I do agree about the cell phones, but they were not around as much back then!

AKK

 

[disnut8]

Code words - Did your kids ever need them at Disney?

Hopefully not but we were in two different situations (unfortunately on the same trip) where my husband and/or I found a child who had lost his/her parents. One of us stayed with the child while the other went to find a Cast Member. Once the Cast Member arrived, we stayed to try and help. Now, we could have said *we* were the kid's parents and he/she was having a difficult time. A code word would have been very helpful for that Cast Member to determine the parental link.

In both cases, the parents did come back and found their child. But a code word might have been good to make sure the parents really were the parents.

 

[JoshuaShaw]

The neighbor knew the word which was *Tonka*

Good to know.

Totally unrelated: are you planning any trips to Disney World soon?

 

[Networth]

Their is a reason no one is stupid enough to try abucting in the parks. The US government visited Disney after 9/11 for security tips. It's probably one of the safest places in the world that your average person has access too.

 

[Tonka's Skipper]

Good to know.

Totally unrelated: are you planning any trips to Disney World soon?

Well the daughter is 32 now and teaches martial arts........I don't believe she needs the pass word anymore.

and yes a short 3 dayer before a Fantasy cruise.

AKK

 

[newestkg06]

I guess I would not be as worried about abduction at Disney, but there was a guy last summer arrested at Animal Kingdom Lodge who was exposing himself and looking at girls underwater by the pool. So, don't believe the Disney bubble. There are creeps.

 

[JustCallMeMommy]

I believe tempering safety with gaining experience. Disney is a relatively safe place to experiment with life skills. It is where DD made her first purchase independently (we were all browsing in Japan, and I looked up to find her at the register). It is the first place I let her go on a ride alone. It is where she got to practice reading a map to get from point A to point B with parents trailing behind her. It is where she practiced walking in huge crowds and learning to frequently check to be sure she was still with her group.

On the code word - I had a friend who made a good point about the code word when Ali was little. She said that if she went up to Ali and said that I told her to say a certain word, Ali would believe her. I knew instantly that she was right - the person knew ME well enough to know what word would convince Ali that she was sent by me. For the record, the same word would work with her boys. I presented the scenario to Ali that night and said, "Yep, I would believe you sent her."

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Sorry, no. Not worried. Not going to worry.

 

[MystikaFaith]

On the code word - I had a friend who made a good point about the code word when Ali was little. She said that if she went up to Ali and said that I told her to say a certain word, Ali would believe her. I knew instantly that she was right - the person knew ME well enough to know what word would convince Ali that she was sent by me. For the record, the same word would work with her boys. I presented the scenario to Ali that night and said, "Yep, I would believe you sent her."

The code word/phrase should be something that you would assume NO ONE could just randomly come up with. It's like coming up with a password, you not supposed to use names or birthdays or things that would be obvious to anyone who knows the person and it must be known by the child in advance.

 

[tzolkin]

It's not so much what was said, but how it was said.

I grew up with a mother who constantly reinforced the idea that the world was a terrible place filled with terrible people. The tone presented in this article was very reminiscent of the tone my mother used in her fear mongering.

I've spent years of my adult life in therapy struggling to manage my anxiety, panic attacks and damage my mother has done.

Again, it's good to teach children and their parents how they can best be safe, but how it is done is VERY VERY important or serious lifelong psychologal damage can result.

This sounds similar to my childhood and this thread is timely for me. I just had a conversation with my mother this week where she was trying to instill fear and paranoia, and it's frustratingly impossible to try to justify my parenting methods to someone who is so irrational.

My mother has mental health issues and was extremely overprotective. She did a pretty good job instilling fear in me and my siblings. I was a very good babysitter because I could notice any non-threatening object in a room and immediately flash through 30 different scenarios where someone could be injured or killed with that object. We had to walk up against the wall in a two-story mall to ensure we were nowhere near the edge. Most of my life was punctuated by fearful gasps. And I won't even go into the detailed kidnap/murder scenes that we were taught lurked around every corner.

Honestly, for a long time this is how I functioned as an adult as well, but in the last few years I have had a personality shift and it has influenced how I choose to raise my children. I am certainly not naive. I still try to avoid dangerous situations and I am fully aware that bad things can happen anywhere, but I am no longer allowing my life to be ruled by fear. I want my children to gain confidence and skills through having some independence. We still have rules and parameters for how much freedom they have, but I believe I am giving them the best and safest environment where they can learn to navigate situations and make decisions on their own.

Sure, it still freaks me out a bit to let my DS go to a public bathroom alone, my DD to ride her bike to a friend's house, or let my kids have some time out of my sight at Disney, but, for our family, these types of calculated risks are worth the rewards.