Tips for Travel with Friends

[Golden Rose]

We're going and doing it... despite all the warnings on the boards about sharing your DVC, we're going to take a trip next year with friends. The family we're going with are a couple we've known for many, many years and their two children, a preteen girl and a 5 year old boy who is one of our DS's best friends. We know this family well, we love this family, and we see them all the time. They're one of the few families we are close to that go to WDW often and listen to our discussions of trips with "Wow, how cool" instead of "Disney again?!?" They were planning a WDW trip next year, we're always planning at least one WDW trip, and we have said for some time we should go together. So, we're going to go at the end of next May.

We're going to book a two bedroom villa for the 7 of us for 5 nights (possibly 6, but certainly 5.) They don't know anything about DVC except the little bits they've heard from us over the last year.

I have a handful of questions about taking trips with friends for those who have done it.

First- How much of a balance worked best for you of doing things together as opposed to taking off and doing your own thing?

Second - We're an eat lots of sit down meals in the ac sort of family. They never were before, but have expressed willingness to try our style during this trip. Would you book a bunch of ADRs for the way you normally travel and just make them for 7 instead of 3? They don't really get the make the ADRs 3 months out thing, so it will be all me doing the planning. (I'm ok with that; I enjoy it.) I'm just worried about them not being willing to commit that far in advance to that many meals and then showing up and wondering what the heck I've lined up for them. I don't know the best way to handle this. Will we lose all our ADRs if we suddenly need to shift them from tables of 7 to tables of 3?

Finally - So here is the question that comes up over and over... would you charge your friends and how much would you charge? On the one hand, I had never seriously thought of asking friends for money. I'd always expected to let them pick up the cost of a meal or two, not pay cash. On the other hand, they were going to take this trip and book themselves a room. (They have never stayed onsite before... they were planning to for the first time on their next trip.) They have already said that they want to pay us something for the room. So, what would you "charge"? I've thought of three things I might suggest, and wonder what sounds best. 1) Give us whatever you're comfortable with. 2) Give us half the cost of what we could have rented the points for. 3) Give us what you would have paid if you'd rented the room you would have gotten. Hmm... I suppose I could also let them pay for the DDP, if they decide that is what they want to do. All suggestions or thoughts would be appreciated.

 

[JasonDVC]

I would say make the plans for everyone and if during the trip they want to skip on one of your ADR's, let them, I don't believe you would lose the reservation.

You can do want you decide, but personnally, I would never take money for sharing a DVC room. They are welcome, and I am more than happy to accept, to pay for a meal or two. I'm not comfortable with cash exchange of money between friends. It's like if someone buys you a drink at the bar, you don't reciprocate by giving them a $5 bill, you buy them a drink as well.

 

[rentayenta]

Having recently taken a DVC trip with great friends (their points) I can give you my insights.

Our friends did not charge us for the use of their points. We got a GV at OKW and then a 2 bedroom at AVK. They were beyond generous and even offered us the big room at the AKV which we said no way to. We did give money for groceries and booze as of course we should have. We also paid for their first night in their hotel when they weren't staying DVC. This was agreed upon while we were planning the trip. Communication is key.

Truly, it was the least we could do. We tried to buy cocktails here and there and treats for all of the kids too but unless they weren't looking, I didn't get away with too much.

As far as planning meals together. We planned all of our ADRs together even though we did have some different park days planned. When we needed a break we took one and vice versa.

I think being honest from the get go about how you vacation is key.

You are the only one who "knows" your friends and what they may be able to afford but personally, I would not take money from friends. Allow them to buy groceries or booze or buy a meal or two.

On a side note, we now own DVC and I can't wait to pay them back by using our points during our next vacation! But when we were planning, neither of us had a clue that we'd be buying DVC so she didn't know she'd be getting reimbursed so to speak when graciously extending the offer. I am quite lucky.

HTH.

 

[chefkellyb]

I agree with a previous poster... Communication is soooo important! Let them know your ideas and their options for dinner ressies, trips to parks, etc... and plan them together (if possible).

We have done both - shared DVC with friends and split points and we have taken various family members and used all of our points. Both types of these trips were wonderful since we talked about many aspects of the trip a lot.

When we "treated" family, we took them with no intentions of them paying any money for our room since we felt like we "invited" them to be our guests. We did not get DDP on any of the trips so far yet, but use wegoshop for groceries. When the groceries arrived, all family members have offered to pay for the entire food bill (but we wouldn't let them). We settled for letting them pay for a little more than half since they insisted. Again, we communicated and planned the food purchases together. Many months before the trip, we would say to the other traveling family "we're thinking of eating out 3 nights during our trip - what is your idea of nights for eating out?" - and take it from there with planning where, when, etc...

Also, on all trips - we made it clear that they were free to come and go as they pleased, that we did not have to be joined at the hip. It just worked out that we did stay together most of the times - I guess they liked our "game plan" for parks.

So... I guess what I am trying to say is if you are able to gift the room to them, then do so. If they insist on paying for something, perhaps allow them to make offers and accept what you think is reasonable. Remember that most friendships usually don't end because of generousity - they end when greed (or the illusion of greed) takes over. Definitely communicate, communicate, communicate!!!

On a side note, we are traveling to HHI July 4th with another DVC family and we are having a blast planning the trip with the other family. We use the excuse of "we need to get together to go over plans for the trip" as often as possible. It's been fun, but again we are communicating so much that we have an idea of what will work and won't work for the families when we travel. Have fun!!!

 

[JoanneNC]

While my recent trip wasn't DVC - it was inviting friends and their family to share in an offsite timeshare 3 bedroom unit that we had extra points for. It was gifted to them with no expectations or request for cash payment for. DH and I felt wonderful to be able to extend this lodging to them and enjoyed having them with us. While we had our own 3 bedroom unit, we were afforded separation right there - we also pre communicated on touring plans and dining plans. We are definitely sit down - take our time vacationers and they were on a stricter budget and we were able to work well together..

We shared same park days 5 out of our 7 days but never made it mandatory to arrive/depart at same times. They did buy my family dinner once or twice as "thank you" and we found that to be very generous. As for the ADR's - I had made all of mine to have 3 extra people (sister and her 2 kids) and she changed her mind on all but 1 of them and I had no problems reducing my ADR"s down and this was just last week. I definitely think reducing is easier to accomodate than increasing..

We had a blast with our friends and would do it all again in a heartbeat. I would say the only potential awkwardness is over how much togetherness. You don't want to feel like you don't want them with you nor do you want them to feel like they are attached to your hip.

I went into it knowing it would be a different vacation than it is with just us and I found that to be one of our best ones, even with it being off site

 

[dianeschlicht]

I'll give my answers within your quote.

We're going and doing it... despite all the warnings on the boards about sharing your DVC, we're going to take a trip next year with friends. The family we're going with are a couple we've known for many, many years and their two children, a preteen girl and a 5 year old boy who is one of our DS's best friends. We know this family well, we love this family, and we see them all the time. They're one of the few families we are close to that go to WDW often and listen to our discussions of trips with "Wow, how cool" instead of "Disney again?!?" They were planning a WDW trip next year, we're always planning at least one WDW trip, and we have said for some time we should go together. So, we're going to go at the end of next May.

We're going to book a two bedroom villa for the 7 of us for 5 nights (possibly 6, but certainly 5.) They don't know anything about DVC except the little bits they've heard from us over the last year.

I have a handful of questions about taking trips with friends for those who have done it.

First- How much of a balance worked best for you of doing things together as opposed to taking off and doing your own thing?
We found if we planned some specific things to do together and to meet for during the day, that worked best. We have done this many times with friends, and some are more open to being on their own than others. We find if the guests are NOT open to giving us our own space, we might have to find a way to do that ourselves. When we've had large groups (think GV and 12 people), we have planned to meet for a specific attraction at a specific time, and then the group tends to break up into smaller groupsl and plan another meeting time for later (usually at a meal)

Second - We're an eat lots of sit down meals in the ac sort of family. They never were before, but have expressed willingness to try our style during this trip. Would you book a bunch of ADRs for the way you normally travel and just make them for 7 instead of 3? They don't really get the make the ADRs 3 months out thing, so it will be all me doing the planning. (I'm ok with that; I enjoy it.) I'm just worried about them not being willing to commit that far in advance to that many meals and then showing up and wondering what the heck I've lined up for them. I don't know the best way to handle this. Will we lose all our ADRs if we suddenly need to shift them from tables of 7 to tables of 3?This one is a bit tricky. I would advise you to plan WITH them, not for them. Explain what sit down places you like best, and plan them together as a special event. It can also be your "meeting place and time" for the day that I mentioned above. We tend to do a signature or major sit down each day. Occationally we have friends along who can't afford that kind of dining, and in those cases, we have planned to cook in the villa, and have shared cooking with them. In fact, this has been very successful! When we have had multiple family groups, each familiy was responsible for specific meals.

Finally - So here is the question that comes up over and over... would you charge your friends and how much would you charge? On the one hand, I had never seriously thought of asking friends for money. I'd always expected to let them pick up the cost of a meal or two, not pay cash. On the other hand, they were going to take this trip and book themselves a room. (They have never stayed onsite before... they were planning to for the first time on their next trip.) They have already said that they want to pay us something for the room. So, what would you "charge"? I've thought of three things I might suggest, and wonder what sounds best. 1) Give us whatever you're comfortable with. 2) Give us half the cost of what we could have rented the points for. 3) Give us what you would have paid if you'd rented the room you would have gotten. Hmm... I suppose I could also let them pay for the DDP, if they decide that is what they want to do. All suggestions or thoughts would be appreciated.We NEVER charge friends or family if they are staying with us. Most (though not all) have taken us out for a special meal at one of the signature restaurants as a thank you though.

 

[Golden Rose]

I understand all the reasons for not accepting money from friends and family. It is my first inclination, as well. I would never accept money from people we had invited to accompany us as our guests... This situation is a little different, or it feels so to me. We didn't say, "We're going to WDW in May, would you come as our guests?" They said, "We're going to WDW in May, y'all go so often, wouldn't it be great if we went at the same time?" Now, admittedly, I did say that it made more sense for us to share a two bedroom villa than to get seperate rooms. They have made it clear to us that they want to contribute something, as the timing of this trip (later in the spring than we go by choice,) and arguably the trip at all, is due to them. They are well aware of this, and we are all trying to find a way to handle this in such a way that everyone feels comfortable with the situation. (They brought up giving us money - I would never have done so. I'd have been happy to treat them and assume they would pick up a couple of meals.) I still have no idea how we're going to handle this.

I sent them an email in the early planning stages talking about doing things independently, but so far, the response has been that they plan to try WDW our way with us. I figure that will last about until their preteen wants to do the Tower of Terror while the little boys head to Playhouse Disney on Stage. I like the idea of meeting points throughout the day.

We've only done Disney with family in the past. With family, there was no question of money, there was a lot of time together with brief periods of apart until my mom remarried. (Our last trip was the opposite - a lot of time apart with brief moments of togetherness - but I digress.) We have done cruises with friends, but everyone paid their own way, did their own things for at least half of most days, and came together for dinner. Cruising with friends was easy and fun and I'd do it again in an instant. I want to love WDW with friends. I'm just trying to figure out how to do it.

 

[stacy6552]

I wouldnt charge my friends, but give them a 60 day deadline to cancel on you. We just got blown off by our friends (see my thread) 30 minutes too late to make changes without going into holding.

 

[iluveeyore]

We took our friends two years ago and stayed in a 2 bedroom at OKW - had so much fun we're going again in 58 days to do the same thing! They have two boys, now 9 and 5, and my DD 14 and her BFF 14 are going with us (they babysit when the four adults want to go out at night). They take the studio and we get the master suite since we put in the most points (we use our yearly allotment of 210 and they pay for the balance to transfer). We stayed for two weeks, and that's what we're doing again - they loved it! My girlfriend and I got a rental car the first day and we made a grocery run to the Super Walmart, came back with a car load full and stocked the fridge and cupboards. She bought what her family liked, and so did I and then we would just share if we were at the villa eating at the same time. Usually they would get up and go wherever they wanted each day (it was their kids' first time last trip), and we would all meet back for lunch and afternoon break (naps or pool time). Then we'd have dinner together and head out to EMH together, or leave the kids and head out. It was pretty much a day to day play it by ear kind of trip and it was wonderful.
I must say travelling with friends that we only see once a month at home is waaay more fun than travelling with family. And their boys love my DD, so it made it nice when we would all play UNO or watch a movie or go see the nighttime shows together. And the little guy would go to bed while the older two would watch a DVD they rented at Community Hall and the grown-ups would play cards and enjoy a cold beverage in our rec room (what we called the huge patio at OKW since that's where we played every night).
We tried to persuade them to try AKV or THV, but they loved OKW (and so do we), so we're doing a repeat trip that way.
They were even nice enough to treat us to dinner for helping plan their trip last time and showing them everything they should see at the parks and resorts.
Now we're all excited again and looking forward to our 'friendly' vacation together.
Have fun on your trip - I know we will.

 

[wdwnut]

I have done WDW with friends and family from smaller groups (4) to 25+ people. Communication is key. I have never accepted cash for our DVC villas. It was made clear that no type of payment was expected. The last trip with 19 included the guests paying for some of the sit-down dinners. On one of our "ladies only" trips, they chipped in and bought me a DVC jacket that is still my favorite. On the next ladies' trip, they will probably be buying me a meal or two. We do a fair amount of planning for the ladies' trips. For the family/friends trips, we agree to split up much of the time and meet for specifics-attractions,meals,etc. This has been working for us for many years. The hardest part has always been getting the "newbies" to commit to the dates; all the repeaters have the drill down pat. Have fun!

 

[Deb & Bill]

When we have taken friends or family with us, we provide the lodging for free. When we took kids along (nieces most of the time), we paid for their ticket, food, lodging and they brought along spending money.

Our friends and family who got free lodging, usually offer to buy a dinner or took care of our son while Bill and I went out for dinner alone.

Primary thing, owners get the master bedroom. Guests get the second bedroom. Extra kids get the living room sleeper sofa.

The friends and families we took along, stayed with us all day and night. We had a very good time. In most cases they were novices and we were the experts, so we showed them the ropes. Occasionally, we did split up, but we always ate together. We planned a few table service meals and provided a minimal schedule. So everyone would get up in the AM and know we were going to MK and leaving at 8 or 9 or whenever. No DDP on these trips. We only did the DDP one time and thought we spent too much time planning to eat, eating or recovering from eating too much.

 

[ccigliano]

So far I have only taken family on my DVC points. I am single and so when I took my sister, BIL and 4 year old nephew last April, my sister paid for my dinner every night. She felt that this was still far less than she would have paid for a deluxe hotel room for the three of them and we had much more room to spread out. If I do decide to take friends along, I hope they use the same logic as my sister. Granted it is just me - which makes it easier as I would never expect them to pay for meals for an entire family. Perhaps they could pay the grocery bill for the week which would certainly be far less than a hotel room at Pop Century for 7 days.

 

[SamSam]

Dh and I have taken guests with us a couple of different time, but we did not stay in the same unit. We each had our own studio, so we could have privacy if desired. Our friends paid $5.00 a point for the rooms and were absolutely thrilled.

We've also gifted rooms to family rooms at no charge, but each situation is different and I don't have a problem with charging a small fee. Communication is the key, we always discussed everything up front and have never had a problem or any bitter feelings.

 

[DisFor20]

My thoughts:
1. I don't think you should charge for letting your friends stay in your villa. But, you have to be honest with yourself. If you think they should pay (because it's your points being used for them), then by all means have a brutally honest conversation and tell them how much you think is fair. I once read on the Dis about a guy who charges his guests the cost of annual maintenance fees for the number of points he spent on them. Again, I say don't charge them anything (and I'm sure they will try to pay you back in other ways as others have mentioned)...but, you will be a highly frustrated person while at WDW if deep down you really think they should pay but you either don't insist on payment up front, or you refuse payment when they offer because you think it would be unkind. Be honest with yourself and with your guests.
2. We travel with friends and family to WDW and on the Disney Cruise Line often (for the last 15 years). We have a list of rules we sent out the first year (and all subsequent years) that are sorta funny...but also make a point. Rule #1 goes something like this: "This is YOUR family's vacation. While we look forward to spending lots of time with you, you are free to do whatever YOU want, at any time YOU want. We will have a general itinerary of what we will be doing each day, but YOU are not obligated to do anything with anyone, nor is anyone obligated to do anything with YOU. You must take responsibility to ensure YOU have a great time. Don't count on others to do that for YOU..." Not surprisingly, we normally spend the vast majority of our time with our friends and family, but everyone always knows they have the freedom to do something else if they wish at any given time. Oh yeah, Rule #2 is "Wear comfortable, broken-in shoes. WDW is not the place to try out new shoes."
3. Have fun.

 

[mmouse1239]

This was an interesting thread...I have often been in the situation. I have invited friends and family on many DVC vacations. I never intended to charge guests money for vacationing with us. We bought DVC so that we could share it with those closest to us. However, I believe that some people just don't think. I have taken the same friends several times, and they have not paid for a thing. Now, I must say that they help us out in many other ways. He is a mechanical kind of guy and has helped with car repairs and boat repairs. Therefore, I will continue to invite them because we get along really well and he helps us in many other ways. On the other hand, I invited a friend and a relative once at the same time. (we are all friends). It was a girls trip with our daughters. My relative did not offer to pay a thing. My friend paid for our hotel rooms pre flight, paid for some drinks on the trip, bought me a souvenir that I had eyed, and gave me a one hundred dollar gift card for a future trip. So....I think that some people are generous and thoughtful and others aren't. That's the bottom line. Like I said before, some people just don't think.

 

[Donna M]

It seems to me that you are saying they brought up the idea of traveling together and then you suggested sharing your DVC. Your case sounds different than an outright invite from you to them. I would probably let them pay something. All the suggestions you listed sounded reasonable.

They might feel better knowing they didn't take advantage of you since they had brought up the idea of going, and it's when they want to go, not you.

Keep thinking this through, it's a difficult decision because they are good friends, but you were put into a quandry with them suggesting the trip.

I think there is a difference between inviting family and friends suggesting the trip.

 

[limace]

I think that you know your friends better than us internet strangers do, and so you'll have a better idea of what they'll be comfortable with. If I was in their shoes, I might feel really uncomfortable if I wasn't allowed to help pay, especially if I had been planning and budgeting a trip already. A clear discussion about what to pay can be a lot less stressful than continually wondering throughout the vacation if you've contributed enough to be fair.

I'm not quite sure how this is different than if I plan a trip to Vegas with a girlfriend, then a third girlfriend comes along. The cost of the room increases, and we split it 3 ways, not two, unless it's clearly been stated that we are treating the third friend.

 

[BostonDisneyKid]

Other posters have had some good ideas but I'd like to throw one out there which is way out in left field. If you are not comfortable taking money from them (which is understandable) for points usage and they are insistant as they are not comfortable with such a gift my suggestion would be that you suggest the following:

Ask if they purchase a "Leave a Legacy" at EPCOT with all of your names and a photo of all of you to comommorate your trip together. Then each time you go to wdw, seperately or together, you can view the engravement and think back on this occassion. I am uncertain if these tiles are still available or not but I think it would be agreat way to "mark" the trip. If they are unavailable, a crystal engravement (of a photo of all of you) would also be a nice gift which you could keep at your home to comommorate the occassion as well.

Just an idea...

 

['Countingmom]

I have a similar, but slightly different situation, and thought I would share our arrangement with you all. DH's brothers family (SIL, BIL, plus kids 12, 10 & 8) have wanted to go with us for a couple of years. We have been the past 4 years and they have been twice by themselves. I am the resident "disney planner" of the family and have helped them plan their previous trips. Long story short, we rented points last year for our BWV stay and loved DVC so we just recently purchased a small resale contract. BIL/SIL have been wanting to go with us, so we have agreed to do a May 2010 trip for all of us. I won't have enough points for a 2BR for a week for us all, so I have done a point transfer for the balance I will need. SIL said "we trust you, take care of it and tell me what I owe you".. so I did the transfer ($10/pp), will make the reservations and they will pay me for their half. Maybe it's easier because it's family.. but we have never had problems over money before. communication is key.... we spent father's day pre-planning and the kids get very excited talking about parks, rides and restuarants. We will probably spend a night or two off-site at a Orlando area hotel. My BIL get's great discounts through his work, so they have offered to plan and arrange those nights and we'll 'settle up' for our part. I think because I am an accountant (and have a spreadsheet for EVERYTHING) that makes it a bit easier... I'll email SIL the details, they get to see and understand the specifics and that seems to help avoid misunderstandings.

Not for everyone... but it works for us. I do think that if I had enough points to 'invite' a family along, I would have to look at it differently.. just wish I had that many points

 

[stefanospops]

I am in a similar situation. My DW mentioned to our neighbors across the street (who have two kids the same ages as our two) that we were going on our first ever DVC trip and the neighbor said, "We should go together!"

So DW and I talked about it and suggested we could use some of our points to get them a studio. I told them a price up front, which is roughly my cost per point for those points and they agree. So I think in my situation we are justified in asking since they are piggybacking on our trip.

I also agree with other posters that if we invited them that it doesn't seem right to ask for money for the room.

I think the important thing I have learned from this and a few other threads is to make sure they know what all their costs will be up front. So I will let them know what the flight is likely to cost, the cost of DDP if they want it (we'll be in a one bedroom with a kitchen so we will likely share at least a meal a day) and park passes.

To the above point, how do I find out what the cost is for the park passes and DDP on the DVC member site? I haven't been able to find it anywhere. Do I need to call MS?