Tips: entitlement or earned?

[Grumpy'sWife4Ever]

I was inspired by the "credit cards in restaurants" thread to ask this question: I have noticed that many restaurants today automatically add a gratuity on to the total balance at the end. I am really conflicted on this issue - I have friends who are servers who tell me that the gratuity is really a part of their wages - without them, they would be barely be making minimum wage. I can understand that, but.....
What if you get bad service? Can you contest the gratuity? I always thought that it was up to the customer to decide if a tip was appropriate, and how much to leave. Is this an old fashioned view? Obviously I don't eat out often, but I know that in the past I have had horrible service and left a tip to reflect that (I never leave nothing, BTW) and I have had wonderful service and left a big tip in appreciation. Is this not acceptable anymore? Can you tell I don't get out much??

 

[mombare]

Along those same lines...when I stop in at our local Little Ceasar's, there is a "tip" line at the bottom of the credit card slip. I am finding this more and more - take out restaurants and such - that have this at the bottom. Are we supposed to leave a tip all the time for everyone in the food industry?
I do understand the waiter/waitress one, though - my MIL has done this her entire life and she really doesn't make much beyond her tips. I feel that 10-15% is standard, but above that is only for good service. Just my 2 cents worth!

 

[maxiesmom]

If you don't feel a tip was earned, you can talk to the manager and have it removed from the bill. I do feel that tips still need to be earned, but that they can be unearned (is that a word?) as well. If I got truly sucky service, I wouldn't hesitate to talk to the manager and have a tip removed from the bill.

On the other hand, if you get truly exceptional service you can also increase the amount of the tip.

 

[TheRustyScupper]

1) To us, tips are earned.
2) Totally earned.
3) We have no problem stiffing a server if they give poor service.
4) If there is an automatic tip, we call the manager and have it removed.

NOTE: When we stiff a server, we mark on the charge slip a quick reference to the reason. Just as a further insult, we leave a nickel on the table. The server doesn't think we just walked out, but knows we actually thought about them.

 

[gottaluvdis]

I've only seen gratuities automatically added to the bill when the party is fairly large (maybe 6 or more people). While I don't necessesarily agree with this, it is pretty standard practice in most places, and they are very clear up front that a gratuity will be added. I can see it somewhat for large parties. However, I don't agree with and haven't seen it for regular-sized parties. I'm not sure I'd eat at a place that did this for regular tables. I would imagine they'd have to be very up front and clear about this ahead of time. I used to wait tables, but this was unheard of "back in the day" when I waitressed. I guess the incentive to provide good service would be that you could make even more of a tip, but I wouldn't be inclined to pay any more on a bill that already had between 15-20% added on, and I'd be really mad if I received bad service on a bill that had an automatic gratuity. Bottom line: IMO, If you're a good server, you'll be rewarded in general and there shouldn't be automatic gratuities added for regular parties.

 

[rluey29]

This is what I don't understand about tipping. Please...would someone explain it to me! Why is it that I have to leave 15%+ to the waiter whether he brings me a burger or a steak? He's doing the same exact thing for each meal. Bringing me the dish, getting me a refill, and getting me napkins or condiments if needed. So why do I have to give him more money just because he carried a steak instead of a burger?? That is what irritates me about tipping! BTW, I do always tip unless they're absolutely horrid.

 

[nilseks]

I'm a little conflicted about this, too. I have friends who are servers and bartenders, and yes, they really do rely on their tips. However, we are traveling to Disney with a party of 7, and I'm a bit peeved that we have to automatically pay an 18% tip at the character meals. I mean, it's a buffet! So that means when we go to Crystal Palace, we will be tipping our server $19.60 for bringing us water and drinks. I really don't think that's warranted. If a server is excellent, my husband and I always give 20% and I have no problem with it. But automatic tipping for a buffet...not so much.

 

[CrAzY4DL]

My husband and I used to live in Hawaii and one time some friends came and stayed with us for a week (in 1997). We went to Outback for dinner (a place hubby and I went to about twice a month) and had the most terrible service EVER. When the waitress took our order, our friend tried to order a beer but was 2 months under the legal age (we were all between 19-me and 21, DH and friends wife) so he was denied the beer. None of us had a problem with it, was more of a joke than anything, he just wanted to see if he could get a beer in Hawaii. No negative comments were said and we just went about our dinner. Dinner took about 3 hours and it was so horrid!! The waitress came once to refill our drinks and then left them sitting on the bar for 35 minutes (we watched them the entire time as the bar was right next to us!) and when she brought out our food everything was wrong (ended up she gave us someone elses food) and everything had to go back and then when new food came out it was barely warm because she had left it sitting for so long. So, when it was time to tip, my hubby was peeved and left nothing on our bill. Friends wife was a waitress once so she felt bad and left $1. Combined, our dinner total was a little over $100. We left and waitress chased us down the street and started yelling at us that this was how she made her living and Hawaii was an expensive place to live (boy, didnt I know it!) and on and on and on and then finally she said, did I do something wrong? Friends wife says, as a matter of fact, you DID do something wrong-you completely ignored us for 3 hours, left our drinks at the bar for 35 minutes, mixed up our order and then left the correct food sitting out before you brought it to us and only refilled drinks once in a 3 hour period, be glad you got the $1. So the waitress says to us, well I know I avoided your table because I thought friend would be an @$$ because I wouldn't serve him alcohol. So she admitted she had given bad service! Was hilarious and sad and infuriating all at once.

Now that we are all grownups we know better what to do. I was always the kind of person who would NEVER complain to the manager and I think if we had done that, then dinner certainly would have went better. I find this story hilarious now!

But to get back on subject, if there is an added gratuity for non-large parties, I think it needs to be disclosed from the beginning so you can choose whether or not to eat there and I recommend if you do eat there and service is sub-par, call a manager over and have it removed.

And ps-what the heck is up with tips for places where you go in and pick up food?! Chinese, Little Caesars, etc. GRR!!!

 

[delmar411]

um, before you think it is the same you need to actually understand what happens in restaurants. For example my DH waited tables this summer and while he was an excellent server he occasionally got stiffed or under tipped. When you don't tip properly you are flat out taking money from that servers pocket. How?

Because servers are REQUIRED to tip out based on their sales. Not their tips. So you don't leave a tip and that server has to take a $1, $2, $3 or more from their pocket and give it to a busser/bartender/dishwasher. Real nice there huh? It was 3% of sales at the restaurant that DH just worked at and that is pretty standard. So if you leave them 15%...they are only seeing 12% and that's if their other tables left them enough in tips.

That is industry standard (DH has been a restaurant manager for more than a decade too). Hence the reason there is an auto gratuity on larger parties. A larger party can take up all of a server's attention and they are unable to work their other tables or they lose their other tables to attend to your party. The tip is to ensure that you don't come in and basically take money from the server.

There's no reason to complain or moan about a standard practice in the US. You either tip voluntarily or you pay a LOT more, no choice, on menu costs.
Most ppl would prefer to have some say in their tip left, no?

I hope that helps with some insight to why you are expected to tip more for your steak than your burger.

 

[happygirl]

I'm a little conflicted about this, too. I have friends who are servers and bartenders, and yes, they really do rely on their tips. However, we are traveling to Disney with a party of 7, and I'm a bit peeved that we have to automatically pay an 18% tip at the character meals. I mean, it's a buffet! So that means when we go to Crystal Palace, we will be tipping our server $19.60 for bringing us water and drinks. I really don't think that's warranted. If a server is excellent, my husband and I always give 20% and I have no problem with it. But automatic tipping for a buffet...not so much.

Server do alot more then just bring drinks. I think server that work at a buffet actually do more work then other servers. They carry a ton more plates.

 

[L107ANGEL]

1) To us, tips are earned.
2) Totally earned.
3) We have no problem stiffing a server if they give poor service.
4) If there is an automatic tip, we call the manager and have it removed.

NOTE: When we stiff a server, we mark on the charge slip a quick reference to the reason. Just as a further insult, we leave a nickel on the table. The server doesn't think we just walked out, but knows we actually thought about them.

Curious, what constitutes poor service?

 

[ajh88]

um, before you think it is the same you need to actually understand what happens in restaurants. For example my DH waited tables this summer and while he was an excellent server he occasionally got stiffed or under tipped. When you don't tip properly you are flat out taking money from that servers pocket. How?

Because servers are REQUIRED to tip out based on their sales. Not their tips. So you don't leave a tip and that server has to take a $1, $2, $3 or more from their pocket and give it to a busser/bartender/dishwasher. Real nice there huh? It was 3% of sales at the restaurant that DH just worked at and that is pretty standard. So if you leave them 15%...they are only seeing 12% and that's if their other tables left them enough in tips.

I was going to mention this as well - that tip isn't all going directly into the servers pocket, it is getting split amongst others who don't necessarily get the chance to earn tips.

Personally, my level of expectation varies based on the restaurant I go to - I don't expect the quality of service at Steak N Shake where our bill is $20 as I do at Texas Roadhouse, where our bill is $50. That's not to say that I always get what I expect (for better or worse).

I would NEVER feel right about not leaving a tip - though I typically go in figuring 15% and they can lose percentage points (or gain them) from there. I don't know if it's still like this, but many places used to count tips as part of the wage - so servers only made about $2-3 an hour, the rest was supposed to be made up from tips.

ETA: When I pick up dinner from somewhere with a "tip" line, I just assume that their register systems are designed that way for dine in (or delivery) purposes - I don't add a tip when the person is just taking my money at the cash register.

 

[livndisney]

I am not conflicted. A tip is earned. You don't earn it you don't get it. As far as what is "poor" service-the waiter we had recently at a buffet. He brought our drinks (without straws), no refills, we never saw him again until he brought the check. He had not cleared a plate, asked if everything was ok, nothing. But he did have enough time to write on the bill what he thought his tip should be.

I have worked as a server and I know how hard the work is. In my opinion he gave poor service. Yes, I did speak to Management.

 

[jakoky]

hi there, as an "ex" waitress, i honestly feel tips need to be earned BUT i dont like how it works in the US...here in canada, minimum wage is $8.00 an hour, so if they dont give me good service, i wont tip, because waitresses make the same minimum as everyone else...but when we travel in the US, i kinda feel guilty and usually leave a tip regardless ...9/10 times we eat out, i get great service so leaving a tip comes very easy to me....

 

[Tink-aholic]

Knowing that a server has to share his/her tips with bartenders, dishwashers, bus servers, etc. makes me even more okay with the system. How many bartenders/buspeople/diswashers are going to allow a lousy waitperson to tank their tips? In this system, all of the staff work as a team to give the customer the best possible service...theoretically.

I rarely stiff anyone, but we were at a buffet in town a few weeks ago. *I* had to remove the plates because no one had been around in about 45 minutes and we each had 2-3 plates stacked on top of each other. I didn't want my family eating dessert on plates on top of congealing food, kwim? So the waitperson got very little and can share that very little with the busperson. I felt okay about it, since I had to do part of their jobs.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

When you don't tip properly you are flat out taking money from that servers pocket. How?

Because servers are REQUIRED to tip out based on their sales. Not their tips. So you don't leave a tip and that server has to take a $1, $2, $3 or more from their pocket and give it to a busser/bartender/dishwasher. Real nice there huh? It was 3% of sales at the restaurant that DH just worked at and that is pretty standard. So if you leave them 15%...they are only seeing 12% and that's if their other tables left them enough in tips.

I totally understand this and don't think it fair to the server. But, I think it's a very poor practice by the restaurant industry to handle it this way. The server is the one on the front line being evaluated by the customer and compensated by the tip. A certain percentage of what the server receives should go the the other workers, not a set amount that could cause the server to come up short.

I have a fundamental problem with the way tipping is handled in the US. Restaurants pay their workers dismally low wages and expect the customers will make it up in tips. I would rather pay a little more for my meal if that meant the workers would earn a living wage. Anything I tip should be my own choice and should go directly into the server's pocket as a reward for good service. They should not have to rely on tips to be able to make ends meet. And I never tip on take-out orders or pizza that I pick up myself. I pay for the item I'm taking home. Someone cooked it and someone sold it to me. Would that mean I should tip the cashier and stockperson at Target, too?

 

[donaldbuzz&minnie]

My daughters both worked as servers in restaurants when they were younger, and ever since then I have tipped 20% because I realize how hard they worked and how much of their wages were really tips.

That being said, I really hate the whole system. It just seems demeaning to me. IMO servers should be paid realistically, and tips should be just that - thanks for exceptional service.

 

[twinkleintc]

I have waited tables and most people in my family have, too. I would never stiff someone. If I am getting poor service, I would communicate my disappointment to the server and then management. Sometimes servers get buried by something in the kitchen or being overseated, etc., there are ways to turn around a poor dining experience, while you are dining. There really is no reason to ever stiff a server, imo.

 

[reginaastralis]

I'm a waitress in Florida, and I work for a company that pays the server's above server min wage ... I make $3.80 plus tips. I think min. wage for servers is $3.25 ... As a server, I sincerely think that tips are earned. We went out last week after a memorial service, and there were 11 servers at the table. The service was HORRIBLE. As a server, I know I have higher expectations than some people ... but seriously, it took 25 minutes for us to get our drinks, and we were there for an hour before he took our order. It was the first time I didn't want to pay the 18% gratuity added on.

I never wouldn't tip, however.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

Quick question.....do you tip when you get carry-out food from a nicer establishment such as Chancery, Olice Garden, Roadhouse, etc?

I always feel like I need to give a dollar or two.....not sure why......