Tipping for someone not using services

[Grumpy_74]

When discussing our trip with my Dad, he had a question that I don't know the answer to. I know the tipping is $12/day/person as the recommended amount and that you can tip over. How does that work if you aren't going to eat in the MDR at all? (any food for that matter, since he's on a G-tube). He's wondering legitimately if the servers do anything else that he would tip them for? Obviously room attendant is another matter altogether.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

When discussing our trip with my Dad, he had a question that I don't know the answer to. I know the tipping is $12/day/person as the recommended amount and that you can tip over. How does that work if you aren't going to eat in the MDR at all? (any food for that matter, since he's on a G-tube). He's wondering legitimately if the servers do anything else that he would tip them for? Obviously room attendant is another matter altogether.

Well, the servers you're tipping for dinner are the same servers for all meals/food service (buffet, quick serve locations), And they also to bus boy duties in all locations.

I suppose, if you you feel it's warranted to not tip, you can. But I would suggest you not.

What does he do when he goes out with others to a land based restaurant? Or does he just stay home?

 

[Grumpy_74]

Well, the servers you're tipping for dinner are the same servers for all meals/food service (buffet, quick serve locations), And they also to bus boy duties in all locations.

I suppose, if you you feel it's warranted to not tip, you can. But I would suggest you not.

What does he do when he goes out with others to a land based restaurant? Or does he just stay home?

Since his surgery he really hasn't gone out much. He's not able to eat or drink at all, so all of what you have listed is non applicable to him. All of his 'eating' will be done in his cabin by his own hand. There will be zero use of anything in any restaurant.

This is a 1 year celebration cruise for getting over the hump of S4 cancer and facial reconstruction. I honestly hadn't thought about the tipping, since it's easy to overlook matters such as that when you don't deal with it yourself.

 

[cedricandsophie]

You could avoid tipping but your servers do much more than serve just at dinner, they serve at breakfast and lunch, they clean up around the ship, etc. even if you don't eat food at all, they are there to help make your cruise much more comfortable. If he were to go to dinner with th family and just sit with you while you eat, they would try very hard to make him feel welcome. We go to Palo once or twice on a 7 day cruise. It would never occur to me not to tip them for that night just because we weren't there. And the 12 includes more than the servers. I don't know how it breaks down but the room attendant gets a portion of the daily tip. It's a small amount for all they do.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

You could avoid tipping but your servers do much more than serve just at dinner, they serve at breakfast and lunch, they clean up around the ship, etc. even if you don't eat food at all, they are there to help make your cruise much more comfortable. If he were to go to dinner with th family and just sit with you while you eat, they would try very hard to make him feel welcome. We go to Palo once or twice on a 7 day cruise. It would never occur to me not to tip them for that night just because we weren't there. And the 12 includes more than the servers. I don't know how it breaks down but the room attendant gets a portion of the daily tip. It's a small amount for all they do.

The breakdown of the $12.00 per night tip is:
$4.00 per night to the room host
$4.00 per night to the dining room server
$3.00 per night to the assistant server
$1.00 per night to the head server.

 

[Grumpy_74]

You could avoid tipping but your servers do much more than serve just at dinner, they serve at breakfast and lunch, they clean up around the ship, etc. even if you don't eat food at all, they are there to help make your cruise much more comfortable. If he were to go to dinner with th family and just sit with you while you eat, they would try very hard to make him feel welcome. We go to Palo once or twice on a 7 day cruise. It would never occur to me not to tip them for that night just because we weren't there. And the 12 includes more than the servers. I don't know how it breaks down but the room attendant gets a portion of the daily tip. It's a small amount for all they do.

Thanks! This is more what I was looking for. This is our first cruise, so I had nothing to answer him when he asked what is a legit question. If it was truly for them serving us in the MDR and he's not going to go with us (that's TBD), I can see where he's coming from. I guess we'll see how comfortable he is being out and about. Unfortunately, it will take one rude person to sway him from joining us in the dining rooms as he's still extremely self conscious.

 

[MSPeeler]

This is a 1 year celebration cruise for getting over the hump of S4 cancer and facial reconstruction. I honestly hadn't thought about the tipping, since it's easy to overlook matters such as that when you don't deal with it yourself.

I'M SO HAPPY for your Dad! My father just past away this past February after battling this same cancer for 30 years. In the last 3 years he had the g-tube and facial reconstruction also, but because he had so much chemo early on in his treatment, they were never able to continue with that when it would return. And then his body would reject the skin graphs all together and he no longer would heal.

1 year is great! He deserves a celebration! My dad also wouldn't really go out to "eat" since he couldn't partake, so I see his dilemma. He can go to guest services and have those tips removed if necessary.

Happy Cruising!!!

 

[tinkerone]

I have a sister who has had a feeding tube for four years and is unable to eat or drink anything. What she does, so that she can join in and feel part of a family meal gathering, is have a bowl of broth set in front of her. If she is feeling uncomfortable or feels others are looking at her, she brings the spoon to her mouth so it looks to others as if she is eating. Your servers would be glad to do anything your father requests to make him feel welcome. Meal time, for our family, is a time to gather all our thoughts and go through our day. It would be a shame if your father felt he could not be in the dinning rooms. There is good entertainment some nights he may not want to miss.
Not sure if this is something that may make your father feel more comfortable as well but thought I would throw it out there. Have a great trip.

 

[Grumpy_74]

I'M SO HAPPY for your Dad! My father just past away this past February after battling this same cancer for 30 years. In the last 3 years he had the g-tube and facial reconstruction also, but because he had so much chemo early on in his treatment, they were never able to continue with that when it would return. And then his body would reject the skin graphs all together and he no longer would heal.

1 year is great! He deserves a celebration! My dad also wouldn't really go out to "eat" since he couldn't partake, so I see his dilemma. He can go to guest services and have those tips removed if necessary.

Happy Cruising!!!

I'm so sorry about your Dad! It's so hard to lose someone to such a horrid disease. When my Mom passed away from cancer years ago, it was bittersweet - she was so sick it was a blessing for her, but so hard for those of us still here without her. Hugs to you and your family! xoxo

 

[Grumpy_74]

I have a sister who has had a feeding tube for four years and is unable to eat or drink anything. What she does, so that she can join in and feel part of a family meal gathering, is have a bowl of broth set in front of her. If she is feeling uncomfortable or feels others are looking at her, she brings the spoon to her mouth so it looks to others as if she is eating. Your servers would be glad to do anything your father requests to make him feel welcome. Meal time, for our family, is a time to gather all our thoughts and go through our day. It would be a shame if your father felt he could not be in the dinning rooms. There is good entertainment some nights he may not want to miss.
Not sure if this is something that may make your father feel more comfortable as well but thought I would throw it out there. Have a great trip.

This is a great idea! Stuff like this is awesome - it's hard for me to tell him what to do since I really don't "Get it" But - the recommendation is fabulous!!

 

[ASchwa]

Thanks! This is more what I was looking for. This is our first cruise, so I had nothing to answer him when he asked what is a legit question. If it was truly for them serving us in the MDR and he's not going to go with us (that's TBD), I can see where he's coming from. I guess we'll see how comfortable he is being out and about. Unfortunately, it will take one rude person to sway him from joining us in the dining rooms as he's still extremely self conscious.

Your family is on a trip to celebrate life, I hope that a rude person will not influence your father into not participating on a special trip that includes meal times. The MDRs in addition to serving meals, sometimes has entertainment that is for that meal. Also, some of my best memories of dinners with my family has been when it was on a trip. Around two months ago, my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We don't know how much longer he has, but at this point he is alive. Yesterday, we were simply sitting outside, and talking and it was great. I hope that you can say to your father to come to dinner, even if he doesn't eat and enjoy the family time that this trip will give to everyone. It will certainly be part of your memories that he will be a part of.

 

[Grumpy_74]

Your family is on a trip to celebrate life, I hope that a rude person will not influence your father into not participating on a special trip that includes meal times. The MDRs in addition to serving meals, sometimes has entertainment that is for that meal. Also, some of my best memories of dinners with my family has been when it was on a trip. Around two months ago, my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We don't know how much longer he has, but at this point he is alive. Yesterday, we were simply sitting outside, and talking and it was great. I hope that you can say to your father to come to dinner, even if he doesn't eat and enjoy the family time that this trip will give to everyone. It will certainly be part of your memories that he will be a part of.

I agree with you about the celebration, but I also know how cruel some people can be. So - as easy as it is for me to tell him not to let it bother him or to ignore what someone might say, I'm not the one dealing with this daily. I have high hopes that it will just be a nice relaxing vacation where we can create a ton of memories - nothing more or less

 

[BruinEd03]

Thanks! This is more what I was looking for. This is our first cruise, so I had nothing to answer him when he asked what is a legit question. If it was truly for them serving us in the MDR and he's not going to go with us (that's TBD), I can see where he's coming from. I guess we'll see how comfortable he is being out and about. Unfortunately, it will take one rude person to sway him from joining us in the dining rooms as he's still extremely self conscious.

You can also try to request a table for just your group (not guaranteed) if that would make him/your family more comfortable.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

You can also try to request a table for just your group (not guaranteed) if that would make him/your family more comfortable.

I'll just add to this, you can go to the dining changes location on embarkation day, and actually see where your table(s) are located. Maybe getting a table that he could sit where he won't actually see others being rude, would be possible.

 

[woodynjessiesmomma]

I'm new to cruising so no info there. I just wanted to wish your dad the best. My uncle was in a bad accident nearly 18 years ago and has been unable to swallow ever since. He eats through a G-tube, spits in a cup, etc. He has always been proud and brave, but it took him years to go out to eat with us. He chews his food and then pushes it through the tube and he was afraid of offending others, being asked to leave, etc. All these years later and he's never encountered a problem. He's met curious people and has enjoyed the chance to teach others about his experience and what it is like to be hungry but not taste and such. He lost a lot of weight on just the nutrition drinks so that is how they got to chewing his food, it seems to stimulate more natural reaction and get him more calories. Anyway, I hope your dad has a wonderful trip! My aunt and uncle have been on a few cruise lines since all this and DCL is their favorite.

 

[summerrluvv]

I honestly have no idea why anyone would be rude toward your father in the dining room. I think he will be fine! I have a son with special needs (not entirely the same thing, I know), who for lack of a better word, can be annoying at times while dining, and no one bats an eye. I hope you have a magical cruise !!