Tipping for poor service

[SoCaOC-Mom]

Yeah, i'm bitter because I don't think its right to lower someone's income over petty issues.

I think the validity or pettiness of an issue is subjective, while tips are customary they are certainly not 'guaranteed'. The whole purpose of tipping is according to your language to help ensure that there isn't any 'petty issues' or serious ones.

This isn't about people that are not willing to tip or wanting to reduce their because are either a) cheap or b) feel they can't afford it. This is about how much, if at all guests should tip for substandard service.

While you like to think of yourself as easy going and an ideal customer, I am sure that even you have your limits on how many errors or blunders you would be willing to tolerate.

So what would it take for you to reduce a tip or not to tip at all?

 

[SoCaOC-Mom]

Are you seriously suggesting that Disney doesn't train their staff to wait for expressed parental consent before coming into physical contact with someone's child?

and then you would be complaining about a standard Disney (and most cruise lines) practice of putting the kid in the chair to assist the parents (probably resulting in the loss of a tip). Again, not the servers choice - it is something they have been trained to do blessed upon by Mickey himself.

 

[Lee Matthews]

Ok, maybe we should leave this debate. I somehow feel slightly responsible and that i may have provoked it by asking what people class as poor service.

I certainly don't want to start an argument

 

[grlzmom]

and then you would be complaining about a standard Disney (and most cruise lines) practice of putting the kid in the chair to assist the parents (probably resulting in the loss of a tip). Again, not the servers choice - it is something they have been trained to do blessed upon by Mickey himself.

Four of my children have been through the high chair "stage" on DCL.

Not once, EVER in over twenty DCL cruises has a server attempted to physically assist or put my child in a high chair. Where are you getting that they are "trained" and "blessed" to do this?

Its ridiculous to me that you think repeatedly serving someone with a food allergy something they are allergic to is a "minor service violation" and doesn't warrant addressing by way of tip and/or negative comment.

Yes, I believe that minor things could/should be overlooked and addressed and hopefully remedied I DO NOT at all agree that food allergies or physically handling someone's child without permission fall into this category.

Your comments are harsh and you should step back and read some of the things you have posted.

 

[SoCaOC-Mom]

I don't think your questions evoked an argument, I hope they help you in providing stellar service and great tips

Ok, maybe we should leave this debate. I somehow feel slightly responsible and that i may have provoked it by asking what people class as poor service.

I certainly don't want to start an argument

 

[lexlaw69]

A couple of random things:

1) I said that I don't think that you should lower the tip over petty items - however it might be a good suggestion on a comment card or to the head waiter if you thought something was missed. If there was a major issue - major being defined as rude behavior then I would lower the tip.

You have no idea if the server was in the back screwing around or acting on your behalf if your meal is delayed. I'm going to assume the best in people (even those with Crohn's disease) and tip. I will look at the totality of the circumstances and how they handle the issue - but I would rather err on the side of being human and not be as harsh as i've seen here.

2) I have not see one server ask "permission" to put toddlers in high chairs or put napkins around them on the Disney or Royal Caribbean cruises i've been on. They just became part of the team and helped out which I appreciated. If you were at the table next to me and freaked out because they were trying to help you out - I would have a comment for you and would probably go to management to make sure your unbalanced opinion doesn't cost some poor guy or gal (literally) their job [which I have done by the way].

3) I do believe a great many people don't tip at all or reduce their tips to make things more affordable - this is simply wrong. They find some petty excuse and go with it. Its exactly why I think the nags on this board are petty.

4) You're right - tipping is not mandatory. However, it is much different than lowering the tip at your neighborhood restaurant (here come the freakouts again). You know when you go on a cruise that this is part of the cost.

5) I suppose the people arguing here for the "right' to lower the tip for petty things are probably the same people that go to 3rd world countries and bargain so hard with poor people for that extra dollar. That extra dollar that means so much to a person in that situation. A person. I'm not one of those people - maybe you are and I hope you can sleep at night.

 

[pxlbarrel]

Interesting....

Not trying to excuse the OP's server problems but from reading the OP's posts and subsequent posts, it really does seem like there was a communication problem : the server's English wasn't really that good. The orange slices on the mac and cheese just seems to strengthen that argument. It may well be that he hadn't a clue what you were saying! Now, that doesn't help you or your family and you'd have expected somebody that DCL hires and has to deal with the public would have better English skills but who knows. Haven't we all been in situations where you wondered how the heck somebody got hired? I'd like to think that THAT was the reason you had problems and not that he was deliberately being obstinate or derelict in his duties.

Anyway, on my one and only cruise (so far), our server discovered that our family liked spicy foods. Every dinner he had a container of sambal on our table. We couldn't figure out where that came from (we never saw it elsewhere on the ship) so we often wondered if this was his secret stash. He discovered my mom's weird ordering practices ("I'll have the cheese/olive/trout/smoked salmon salad without the chese olive or smoked salmon") and had fun with her (no, she wasn't insulted but found it quite amusing when he said, "Maam, there will be no salad left!" in a humours exasperated way.) The assistant server picked up on this at breakfast one day when my mom was having a hard time deciding what to eat. He said to me something like, "She'll have the cheese omelette without the cheese." Hehehe...we had fun and it was cool that they were having fun with us (as opposed to AT us....although, I suppose that's also possible.)

For all the different servers we had at breakfast and lunch, I don't think we had a bad one. One server...man, I was ready to set him up with my friend's daughter. LOL He was so nice. And another server, we had a really nice conversation with her. It was only her second week, she was a bit homesick....she was very nice. We saw her serving at Castway Cay and we smiled and waved at her and she was still so very nice. To Lee... if you can make us believe you're family and make it very hard for us to leave you at the end of the cruise, you will have done above and beyond.

And here's an important question: Is Simone going to the Dream??? I was hoping to see him again in the Med Cruise next June. He was our head server on the Magic last December. He was so nice and well, not hard on the eyes either. (yes, very shallow of me to say that but... he made a really good looking pirate!!!)

 

[grlzmom]

A couple of random things:

but I would rather err on the side of being human and not be as harsh as i've seen here.

[/B].

Do you get at all that you are the one being "harsh"? You are calling people names on a trip planning discussion board (i.e. NAG, FREAKOUT) yet you claim to err on the side of being human?

You didn't bother to respond to my question of where are you getting information that the servers are "blessed" and told to physically put peoples children in high chairs?

You probably have no idea what is going on at the tables around you and to say that you would go to management and complain about another guest if they are unhappy over something is absurd.

With DCL the majority of the people I have personally met tip above and beyond the recommended amount so I'm not sure what your comparison is but I bet you haven't had near the DCL experience I have.

Your posts are rude and maybe if they were more polite and factual people might actually be able to see your opinion through all the harsh/ignorant comments you make.

 

[grlzmom]

Interesting....
And here's an important question: Is Simone going to the Dream??? I was hoping to see him again in the Med Cruise next June. He was our head server on the Magic last December. He was so nice and well, not hard on the eyes either. (yes, very shallow of me to say that but... he made a really good looking pirate!!!)

Yes, he will be on the Dream, and I agree, so nice not hard on the eyes lol.

We think he's wonderful.

 

[pxlbarrel]

Yes, he will be on the Dream, and I agree, so nice not hard on the eyes lol.

We think he's wonderful.

My favourite pirate.... Simone!!

 

[lexlaw69]

Hopefully my last comment (yay!). Arguably, the employee's on the ship are being taken advantage of by not being paid a living wage. They depend upon tips to compensate them for their efforts. They make huge sacrifices that take them away from their families and homelands. There is always a certain sadness that you see in the mom's and dad's who are working on the ship that are away from home. I can imagine they want nothing more than to be with their families and take home their many months of saved income so they can build their lives (many shipworkers who I have spoken to use their savings to buy a home or small business or simply use it to survive and feed their kids).

I will always err on the side of being human. I will put my requests in context of the bigger picture and whether honest attempts were made by the staff or some honest self analysis to see if my request is perhaps over-reaching. A big heart and understanding go a long, long way. I'm not sure after working 10 - 14 hour days (which they do and more breakfast to past dinner)that I would remember your food allergy or other pecadillo's. It might make it better for all involved if you just repeated your request.

"I like to put my kid in the high chair myself - thanks I appreciate your help"

vs.

"I'm a nutjob that can't be bothered to remove the silverware in front of my kid can you please move it or i'll have you thrown out in the next port"

vs.

"I'm allergic to shellfish - are there any on the menu tonight - can you make sure I don't get any please?"

vs.

"Everyone will hate me in my little cabin because of my intestinal issues, you see I have Crohn's disease and it make's me gassy so if you give me shellfish again i'm taking the food out of your children's mouth's by not tipping you (and you better remember for every meal I have! ha ha ha ha ha"

 

[TKH]

FYI: noted food allergy + wrong food delivered with shrimp discreetly mixed in (accidental) CAN lead to an anaphylactic reaction. That's not a tummy ache, that is not breathing!

 

[dursin]

4) You're right - tipping is not mandatory. However, it is much different than lowering the tip at your neighborhood restaurant (here come the freakouts again). You know when you go on a cruise that this is part of the cost.

It is not much different than lowering a tip at your local restaurant...in fact, it's really not different at all. When you go to your local restaurant you also know that a tip of approximately 15% is part of the cost if you get the expected service, 20% if service is better than expected. A cruise is no different. The gratuity is something you give in recognition of services provided to you.

Just remember...it's a gratuity...it's not a salary subsidy or charitable contribution.

 

[Cmbar]

Yeah, i'm bitter because I don't think its right to lower someone's income over petty issues.

Yet you think it is perfectly fine to insult people who you don't know one iota and assume they are snobby. Or to insult me because I have a disease that obviously you know nothing about. (Oh how I wish Crohn's simply caused gas or diaharea! May you never know how horrid this disease is)

I am sorry you are so angry. It sounds as if you are unhappy with your life and wish to inflict that unhappiness on those of us on this thread. You have gotten what you wanted which was for us to pay attention to you. I think we are all done now! Moderators please close this thread. Most of us have answered this question for the OP!

 

[GhostlyHitchhiker]

"I like to put my kid in the high chair myself - thanks I appreciate your help"

vs.

"I'm a nutjob that can't be bothered to remove the silverware in front of my kid can you please move it or i'll have you thrown out in the next port"

vs.

"I'm allergic to shellfish - are there any on the menu tonight - can you make sure I don't get any please?"

vs.

"Everyone will hate me in my little cabin because of my intestinal issues, you see I have Crohn's disease and it make's me gassy so if you give me shellfish again i'm taking the food out of your children's mouth's by not tipping you (and you better remember for every meal I have! ha ha ha ha ha"

Wow, either you are the OP's server (and bitter) or you must have some specific gripe against her or something. Just wow...

Sorry TKH. I don't think you've said anything overly harsh about the server and you were just relating your experience and asking a question. You started out being very nice and only went into more detail when other posters asked. I also understand emotions involved with having poor service. Only once in WDW did I have poor service(inattentive, rude, etc) and I still get heated when I ponder going to that restaurant again (California Grill even). That was over 11 years ago! ;-)

 

[edwardsail]

I am pretty sure that lot of us are with lexlaw69 for lot of reasons and they do not post the msg at all. I feel nothing is perfect just go flow like a river. Just like you have to remember to tip at least 15 percent at any restaurant in USA but if you are happy with their service then give them a tip at more than 15 percent. If you are not happy with your server, just report to the manager. Is that simple? Anyway, just move on and enjoy life!

 

[tinkerone]

Hopefully my last comment (yay!). "

i'm hopin!!

lee, your question was very valid, unfortunately the tipping threads always get out of hand. we all have our own thoughts and opionions and no one has a right to say whos wrong or whos right. some should just remember that there all 'IMO'. everyone has the right to speak.
have fun in your new role. i had a friend who worked on the magic and loved it, had a blast. you have a blast to!!

 

[TKH]

Wow, either you are the OP's server (and bitter) or you must have some specific gripe against her or something. Just wow...

Sorry TKH. I don't think you've said anything overly harsh about the server and you were just relating your experience and asking a question. You started out being very nice and only went into more detail when other posters asked. I also understand emotions involved with having poor service. Only once in WDW did I have poor service(inattentive, rude, etc) and I still get heated when I ponder going to that restaurant again (California Grill even). That was over 11 years ago! ;-)

I was certainly not hoping to stir anything up, that's why I didn't list out what our troubles were and whether or not we actually did adjust the tip. About the questionable poster, that person is relating things that don't pertain to my situation, I'm not sure where the info is coming from. I will not be rude to anyone, and was not ever rude to the servers. I kindly asked for what we needed/didn't need, within reason. I can remove the silverware, the point was that I couldn't do it while the baby's legs were being tugged. I even said, "If you can please let go of his legs, I can move the plate and silverware" which was when he began telling me about the service and comment card. His English was okay at times, not so much at other times. I don't know his situation and that is why I will not classify him as "bad". The service we experienced while dining, we felt, was not on par with what we knew from previous cruises or from anywhere else aboard on the current trip. We're not mad or freaking out or yelling, I wouldn't want my kids to learn that. We're not judgemental or snobs. So, just time to move on now. I appreciate eveyone's help! Thanks!

 

[jilljill]

I was certainly not hoping to stir anything up, that's why I didn't list out what our troubles were and whether or not we actually did adjust the tip. About the questionable poster, that person is relating things that don't pertain to my situation, I'm not sure where the info is coming from. I will not be rude to anyone, and was not ever rude to the servers. I kindly asked for what we needed/didn't need, within reason. I can remove the silverware, the point was that I couldn't do it while the baby's legs were being tugged. I even said, "If you can please let go of his legs, I can move the plate and silverware" which was when he began telling me about the service and comment card. His English was okay at times, not so much at other times. I don't know his situation and that is why I will not classify him as "bad". The service we experienced while dining, we felt, was not on par with what we knew from previous cruises or from anywhere else aboard on the current trip. We're not mad or freaking out or yelling, I wouldn't want my kids to learn that. We're not judgemental or snobs. So, just time to move on now. I appreciate eveyone's help! Thanks!

OP - since you are happy with some of the responses on this thread I'm going to close it before it gets out of hand once again.