Tipping Advice from former waitgirl!

[DiszyDean]

Thank you, you always put it so much better than I do!

I have read through plenty of these "tipping threads" and have seen many servers and former servers posts. I have not seen this sense of "entitlement" that certain people keep claiming exists. I have not seen a server come on and state that they deserve an 18% tip for showing up. There have been hundreds of server posts in these threads and I would challenge you to point us all in the direction of more than one where this is stated. IMO, this is a not a perception based in fact.

Talk about having an "agenda".

 

[joenan88]

Tipping as defined in a dictionary:

Optional payment given in addition to a required payment, usually to express appreciation for excellent service.


Maybe waiters and waitresses should learn the definition before starting their job...just so they understand what a tip really is.

 

[DiszyDean]

Please, your being rediculous. Go back, look at the OP posts with an eye towards objectivity, consider the subject matter, re-read the title, look at the OP's join date, post count, and tell me that you think this thread is legit.

Who has supported starting their tipping at 30% and working down? That was the original advice intent of the thread.

It was not the original advice intent of the thread...She stated HER method of tipping. She never stated that this is what she expected everyone to do and even clarified this in several posts after-the-fact.

I could understand if the person had one post and started a thread without ever returning to explain themselves but this was not the case here.

If you feel that it is a bogus thread, your best course of action is probably to ignore it but you keep feeding the fire. Let the rest of us who want to discuss this, do so.

You are willing to assume the worst about the OP but choose ignore all of the posts she made after the original one explaining herself. Selective reasoning.

 

[blondinkaya]

I know it sounds overly dramatic, but threads like these sort of make me want to rethink Disney (I know, the blasphemy!). Seriously, for a first-timer to the World, I'm stressed enough about making sure I plan our attractions just right and pick decent restaurants and make our vacation a wonderful experience. Now I'm starting to stress over tipping (which would be a no-brainer for me anywhere else). We have two children; am I going to be expected to tip more just because of them? I've never heard that idea before in my life. They know their manners, and we clean up any messes they make. And, IMO, tips should be based on service, not whether or not I feel I sorry for the waiter's small salary and feel the need to make up for it. Am I wrong about this?

Am I the only one who feels that this is being overanalyzed, or am I just a simpleton?

 

[crisi]

I don't disagree with raising prices so you can pay employees a living wage. The problem is many servers can make a lot more under the current stucture. It wouldn't be as attractive if you didn't have the opportunity to make $200 or more in a shift. Especially, since some servers do not claim all their cash tips as wages.

Then what are servers complaining about? Why have "acceptable tips" doubled in my lifetime (and I'm not very old)? Are they just greedy? In which case, sorry, I really don't need to subsidize a waiters greed.

 

[crisi]

also Ive never advocated a sneeze sandwich, I ve seen it done though.and that is just the truth.

And you didn't yell out "eww! You just sneezed on that guys food! You'd better get him a new plate!"

Sorry, if you didn't stop it when you saw it, your not that much less guilty than the guy doing it.

The person on the other end of that sandwich may have been a jerk, but he may have been an immuno suppressed jerk.

 

[crisi]

I guess I'm wondering if being a server is such a snap and a road to great wealth, how come there is such a high turnover??

It very difficult work. The hours suck. Its exhausting. And like a lot of physical labor, your body can't do it well forever.

Its also a profession that rewards excellence. Its possible to make a really good income as a server - and I've no doubt the waitstaff at Disney's better restaurants do very well. But its also possible to pull shift after shift at Denny's for $2 something an hour in some states, and serve little old ladies who think the change from the bottom of their purse is a good tip, families on Sunday who stiff you, and the after bar college students who aren't exactly great tippers.

(I suspect in Orlando, you are better off over by the Convention Center at the Capital Grille and nearby restaurants where most of the checks are coming through on expense accounts and getting stiffed is less common. Plus your busy nights over there are going to be Monday through Thursday - giving you are more normal work week.)

But a lot of the higher end servers I know just turn over to different restaurants.

 

[wezee]

Speaking as a former server:

First - everyone get off the 30% thing. The OP said in her post and also repeated that this is what SHE PERSONALLY uses as a base and deducts from there. She DID NOT say that everyone should use 30% as a standard.

Second - Yes we all pay taxes. Guess what? Servers are taxed on their tickets (8% of the total bill for each table) and their wages (usually minimum). What makes this unfair is that not all tipped jobs are taxed. Hairdressers, limo drivers, massage technicians, to name a few are not subjected to a minimum reporting of their services or fares by their employer. The government just assumes people cheat but with servers they have a way to get their cut. With other jobs, not so much.

Third - I don't expect more money for messy kids but it would be nice. I usually told the hostess not to put small children/babies in my section. (Sorry but I'd say 7 out of 10 of those tables were an issue. The sorry state of parenting.) However there were the times when a family would leave an unholy mess of soggy smashed saltines all over the table and the floor and the busboy would REFUSE to clean it. Therefore if I want another party at my table, guess who cleans it?

Fourth - I personally like the adage "Tell me what kind of tip you'll leave so I know what service to give you". It works in reverse as well "Tell me what kind of service you're going to give me so I know how much to tip." Though once the meal is over, you already know what kind of service you got. I could smile, be prompt, refill glasses, give great service and get stiffed or 10% for a table of 10. If I had known that, I wouldn't have worked so damn hard for you.

Fifth - I too am picky on service. I don't blame the waitress for the food. That is the chefs job but I do blame them for chatting in the side station for a long time when they should be working. Check your tables, ask if they want dessert, box food and get their check out quickly when they don't want anything else.

Sixth - I know that I had to split tips with the busboys and the bartender. I refused to tip the dishwashers since I tip who works directly for me. The busboys clear and set my tables, the bartender gets my drinks. When I tend bar, I tip the dishwashers since they wash and bring my glasses.

Whew. OK, I'm done. Don't agree with the 30% as a standard though she is entitled to it. Her point on the way servers work is dead on. Also what is really sad is that overall, women are the worst tippers. Especially "ladies that lunch" and I hate being lumped in with my gender since I tip well. Usually I mention that I use to wait tables and then my service improves. Ladies, don't be so damn cheap. Just because some guy isn't paying for your food doesn't mean you can't cough up a few extra bucks for your salad during your "ladies spa lunches".

 

[kilarney]

Second - Yes we all pay taxes. Guess what? Servers are taxed on their tickets (8% of the total bill for each table) and their wages (usually minimum). What makes this unfair is that not all tipped jobs are taxed. Hairdressers, limo drivers, massage technicians, to name a few are not subjected to a minimum reporting of their services or fares by their employer.

So let me get this straight. You are jealous of other people who get to cheat on their taxes, even though reporting 8% is lower than what you actually make? Where am I supposed to have sympathy here?

 

[Bill From PA]

I haven't read this whole thread, nor will I, but I will say that for 30%, a waitress would have to perform an un-natural act on me, waiters have no chance.

Bill From PA

 

[java]

I worked as a waitress in an Irish restuarant during summer breaks from school. It was a fun loving big drinking kind of a place. There was a downstairs that would open only on super busy nights.(Used mostly for parties)It wasn't used often because the kitchen and bar were upstairs so if you were working downstairs you ran up and down those stairs often.

One Saturday night I had a downstairs section(we rotated working it) I had 3 tables of 10 sit down all at the same time!!! I was freaking out but dealt with them all in my up front I'm here to help and doing my best if I am not let me know attitude.
Well one of my tables of 10 had an obnoxious drunk man at it. And he was unrelenting all night. Treating me like dirt. Complaining talking down to me ect. My boss wanted to slap an automatice 20% tip on their bill and I said "No he can give me what he wants I don't want more of a scene with the forced gratuity"

Well his wife was mortified by his behaviour as were the people with him. They ALL Tipped me. His wife handed me $100! And others were handing me $20's And the funny thing is Mr. Obnoxious sobbered up and was sorry and tipped me 20% on top of the bill!!
So my most obnoxious table ever turned into my most lucrative table ever!

 

[stoudt6]

Speaking as a former server:

First - everyone get off the 30% thing. The OP said in her post and also repeated that this is what SHE PERSONALLY uses as a base and deducts from there. She DID NOT say that everyone should use 30% as a standard.

Second - Yes we all pay taxes. Guess what? Servers are taxed on their tickets (8% of the total bill for each table) and their wages (usually minimum). What makes this unfair is that not all tipped jobs are taxed. Hairdressers, limo drivers, massage technicians, to name a few are not subjected to a minimum reporting of their services or fares by their employer. The government just assumes people cheat but with servers they have a way to get their cut. With other jobs, not so much.

Third - I don't expect more money for messy kids but it would be nice. I usually told the hostess not to put small children/babies in my section. (Sorry but I'd say 7 out of 10 of those tables were an issue. The sorry state of parenting.) However there were the times when a family would leave an unholy mess of soggy smashed saltines all over the table and the floor and the busboy would REFUSE to clean it. Therefore if I want another party at my table, guess who cleans it?

Fourth - I personally like the adage "Tell me what kind of tip you'll leave so I know what service to give you". It works in reverse as well "Tell me what kind of service you're going to give me so I know how much to tip." Though once the meal is over, you already know what kind of service you got. I could smile, be prompt, refill glasses, give great service and get stiffed or 10% for a table of 10. If I had known that, I wouldn't have worked so damn hard for you.

Fifth - I too am picky on service. I don't blame the waitress for the food. That is the chefs job but I do blame them for chatting in the side station for a long time when they should be working. Check your tables, ask if they want dessert, box food and get their check out quickly when they don't want anything else.

Sixth - I know that I had to split tips with the busboys and the bartender. I refused to tip the dishwashers since I tip who works directly for me. The busboys clear and set my tables, the bartender gets my drinks. When I tend bar, I tip the dishwashers since they wash and bring my glasses.

Whew. OK, I'm done. Don't agree with the 30% as a standard though she is entitled to it. Her point on the way servers work is dead on. Also what is really sad is that overall, women are the worst tippers. Especially "ladies that lunch" and I hate being lumped in with my gender since I tip well. Usually I mention that I use to wait tables and then my service improves. Ladies, don't be so damn cheap. Just because some guy isn't paying for your food doesn't mean you can't cough up a few extra bucks for your salad during your "ladies spa lunches".

1.My wife is a hairstylist and ALL TIPS FROM CREDIT CARDS are recorded and must be reported. Cash tips are a little different as I'm sure MOST if not all workers be it servers, bartenders, and bellman don't report the full amount of tips in there taxes.

2.Does 30% tip apply to anyone performing a superior service? There are many times where my wife gives someone a Perm and /or a color or other service, where she spends upwards of 2 hrs(possibly more) with just her 1 and only client and is lucky to get 5-10% tip.She's "serving " client/patron entire time, not just making /pouring/serving a drink for a minute like a Bartender, or handing out menu, Taking food and drink order, bringing drinks then food and then dessert- then check -where server spends maybe 15-20 minutes total on one 'client/patron" now I know 2 things #1 hairdresser's either get commision or higher payrate, and #2 servers have multiple clients they are dealing with at the same time. Just some food for thought.

 

[Mermaid_Ariel]

Wow, can't believe this thread is still alive and kicking. Threads have been closed for much lesser things.

 

[cymbaldiva]

Try being a cashier, or working at McDonalds, or stocking grocery shelves. They are all thankless jobs where you deal with rude customers, pushy magangers, no respect, and very low pay. Once you factor in tips, waiting tables is far more profitable. Far more.

True that! My previous experiences cashiering in both grocery stores and fast food establishments were humbling to say the least...

 

[DiszyDean]

Then what are servers complaining about? Why have "acceptable tips" doubled in my lifetime (and I'm not very old)? Are they just greedy? In which case, sorry, I really don't need to subsidize a waiters greed.

For the record, in the 1940's and 1950's, the standard customary tip was between 10 and 15%, not just 10%. These days a standard customary tip is considered between 15 and 20%. Not exactly "double" in your lifetime.

Servers are obviously looking for the best tip possible. I am not sure what is wrong with that or why that is "greedy" as long as they are doing what they feel is necessary to earn that tip. I don't suppose that too many people in other professions would turn down a raise because they didn't want to seem "greedy". Servers have as much right to make as much as they can. The customer has a great way of either helping them achieve that or not based upon their experience. This is why the system works.

 

[Quiksilvr]

Wow, this thread really got long since yesterday afternoon. Many of the comments have been pretty interesting, although the bout of namecalling last night didn't really seem to add much to the discussion.

I personally don't care whether the OP is sincere or not (I personally think she was trying to be helpful, and naively opened a Pandora's box of which she was not previously aware). I think she still made a few good points. Regardless of whether you agree with the 30% figure she uses (it seems like a lot more people suffer from sticker shock on that than anything else) tipping the waitstaff is here to stay. I don't see restaurants making a change to their compensation system. I'm going to keep tipping 20%+ in good situations and 20%- in others. Pay what you're comfortable with.

All of the "advice" being given that is some variant of "if you don't like your job, get another one! my job is just as hard as yours!" isn't really all that helpful. A lot of people are forced into jobs they hate by circumstance, others by design (being a lawyer is a lot less fun than I thought it was going to be before I spent a hundred grand on law school, but now I'm stuck here until I die. Entirely my bad!). Telling someone to change careers if they're not happy sounds pithy but sensible, but at the end of the day, it's really not that easy to do.

 

[Quiksilvr]

Wow, can't believe this thread is still alive and kicking. Threads have been closed for much lesser things.

Yeah when I got on here this morning I was amazed at some of the responses since yesterday evening. I thought the discussion yesterday afternoon was lively!

 

[tgropp]

I truly feel sorry for waiters/waitresses etc. who do not get a fair wage from their employers. To me I think that it is criminal. Why can a restaurant not pay a very reasonable wage to their employees, figure it into the costs of the meals and if they can not make a go of it, I am sure there will be other businesses who can and will. I remember 10% was the norm. Then 12%, then 15%, then 18% and now 20 +%. Where will it stop? By the way, I always tip 15% minimum, sometimes more.

 

[TLSnell1981]

I guess I'm wondering if being a server is such a snap and a road to great wealth, how come there is such a high turnover??

Not all people are suited to being a server. It's hard work and stressful. Not all make this their life vocation.....rather it is a way to make extra money while you have small kids..(flexible hours)....students with irregular schedules. I know a few that have worked as waitstaff or bartenders for years. They make more than a living wage. They are good at what they do....and they like people. I think too many go into this job thinking it's an easy way to pick up a check. It's not.

 

[TLSnell1981]

For the record, in the 1940's and 1950's, the standard customary tip was between 10 and 15%, not just 10%. These days a standard customary tip is considered between 15 and 20%. Not exactly "double" in your lifetime.

Servers are obviously looking for the best tip possible. I am not sure what is wrong with that or why that is "greedy" as long as they are doing what they feel is necessary to earn that tip. I don't suppose that too many people in other professions would turn down a raise because they didn't want to seem "greedy". Servers have as much right to make as much as they can. The customer has a great way of either helping them achieve that or not based upon their experience. This is why the system works.

I think the poster was referring to the OP stating 30% is where one should start when deciding on a gratuity. Last time I did the math, 20 is "double" 10...and 30 is "double" 15.