Tipping Advice from former waitgirl!

[Matt71]

If you are going to stack your dishes...please....at least don't scrape the food into one plate. That is so unappetizing to the person at the next table! I won't tip more just because the "servers are having a hard time". They are not charity cases. I will tip well for good service.....a pleasant attitude gets you more. Actually, the attitude is the most important thing to me.

They're not charity cases, but they have been getting a lot of undeserved aggression from angry guests for something that is not their fault and they can do nothing about. There's no way I can expect my server to be bright and chipper when security had to escort their last table out of the building - they're human after all.

 

[TLSnell1981]

They're not charity cases, but they have been getting a lot of undeserved aggression from angry guests for something that is not their fault and they can do nothing about.

They do bear some responsibility in this mess. Their union negotiated this contract.

There's no way I can expect my server to be bright and chipper when security had to escort their last table out of the building - they're human after all.

Servers deal with different personalities and situations everyday. A good server, who is suited to the restaurant buisness, knows how to handle this. If they don't....they are in the wrong buisness.

.....

Flame suit on and ready.

 

[DiszyDean]

So many points to be made here...

1. The OP has stated several times that she does not expect anyone to tip the way she does. If her method is starting at 30% and working down, so be it. I am not sure why so many people are "outraged" about how someone else decides to tip.

2. The standard customary tip for standard to good service is 15 - 20%, at your discretion. It has been that way for quite a while. I am sure that some people can remember when it was 10%. I bet some people can also remember when hamburgers cost a nickel. Its called inflation.

3. Poor service should not receive the standard customary tip. My suggestion is to always leave something but if you want the server to realize that you just did not forget to tip, leave something so small that they get the point easily.

4. The current system of tipping has worked for a long time and IMO has worked well. For those people advocating just paying the servers more and doing away with tips, they must realize of course that you cannot just give the servers raises. You would also have to raise the wages of most of the other staff members who also depend on tips such as bartenders, busboys, food runners. This would increase the cost of your meal greatly. In other words, you would still be subsidizing the servers wages just like you would with tips but it would no longer be discretionary. It would be the net effect of having a mandatory tip.

5. If waiting tables was so lucrative, why don't more people strive to become servers? Well, it is not easy work and you really have to be good at it in order to make a decent/good living. Trust me, those servers who are not very good do not last long because they cannot make a decent wage.

 

[DOOM1001]

I'm a former server and have to disagree with the OP about a 30% tip,that's just way too high,however if you see that your server is trying and is nice a 18-20% tip should be applied.Where I worked I knew that basically about 5% of my tips would have to be shared with the bartenders,busboys and food runners,how much you give them is based on your total sales,so if you worked a busy night and sold $1000 and averaged 17% that would mean you made $170 in tips however the bartender would get about $17, the bussers about $30 and the food runners about $13,so the server would leave with about $110 for a very busy and hectic 7-8 hour shift.

 

[angelmav]

So many points to be made here...

1. The OP has stated several times that she does not expect anyone to tip the way she does. If her method is starting at 30% and working down, so be it. I am not sure why so many people are "outraged" about how someone else decides to tip.

Gee, maybe because the troll...errr OP, titled the thread 'Tipping Advice from a former waitgirl?!?!'

 

[TxMickeyLover]

DH and I usually tip between 15-20%. We have been known to tip more for excellent service, and nothing for horrible service. I am generally more sympathetic than DH to a server who seems to just be off that night, and it never occurred to me that busboys, bartenders, etc get a portion of the tips. I'll definitely keep that in mind in the future.

Incidentally, while I realize 10-15% is on the low end of the tipping scale, it could be worse. My elderly father-in-law always tips $1 per person at the table, no matter what the cost of the meal is. This really irritates me, and my husband will usually sneak back to the table to leave more, but I'm sure my DFIL is not the only person who does this.

 

[DiszyDean]

Gee, maybe because the troll...errr OP, titled the thread 'Tipping Advice from a former waitgirl?!?!'

I do not think a troll wastes a whole lot of time responding to post after post in order to try to defend themselves. She explained what she meant and apologized for offending anyone with her 30% method of tipping. I think it is time to quit beating a dead horse here.

 

[angelmav]

I do not think a troll wastes a whole lot of time responding to post after post in order to try to defend themselves. She explained what she meant and apologized for offending anyone with her 30% method of tipping. I think it is time to quit beating a dead horse here.

Its called an 'Agenda'

 

[DiszyDean]

Its called an 'Agenda'

I guess everyone is entitled to their opinion no matter how presumptuous it might be.

 

[Corpsebride]

First, let me say I am former waitress/ bartender. I can tell you from years of experience that the pushiest rudest people tip the worst. I can also tell you that those people have had more sneeze sandwiches than they will ever know. not because they tipped badly, but because they treat waitstaff like their personal slaves. Me, I look at my waiter or waitress like my mom. I say please, thank you and am polite. I also dont act like a pain in the **** because"they are getting paid". I choose to think that the reason I get GREAT service where ever I go, is because I am happy and grateful for the person who is getting me my food and drink as fast as they can , understanding that I am hungry thirsty andwant to eat NOW. as far as messy kids, I have always felt sorry for the parents who try to control jr. who is hopped up on soda and icecream, but no sympathy for the parent who thinks its the waitresses job to entertain or clean up a disaster because "hey its a restaurant, its not my house, they can clean itup for once" again, I say, sneeze sandwich. patience and understanding goes a long way to a server. The golden rule applies to the one bringing your fries too!! I also try to tip well because do you think that waiting tables was the first choice on their list of ways to make a living? sometimes you have to do what you have to do to pay the bills. so happy tourist , just remember that while you are on vacation, the person bringing you that huge peice of cake, is working.

 

[angelmav]

First, let me say I am former waitress/ bartender. I can tell you from years of experience that the pushiest rudest people tip the worst. I can also tell you that those people have had more sneeze sandwiches than they will ever know

And yet, servers wonder why they come off bad in these threads?

 

[Corpsebride]

you are making my point. you obviously havent ever waited tables. anyways, you dont seem to have enough disney magic in your life. lol!!

 

[angelmav]

I guess everyone is entitled to their opinion no matter how presumptuous it might be.

Let me call attention to a couple of things the OP stated. Server giving 20% of their tips to bartender (Highly Unlikely), Server tipping Dishwasher (excuse me but in what restaurant did this ever happen?) Starting at 30 % and going down from there? I doubt the OP is or ever was a server to make such statements, just trying to stir the pot on a volatile topic.

 

[angelmav]

you are making my point. you obviously havent ever waited tables. anyways, you dont seem to have enough disney magic in your life. lol!!

By calling attention to these tactics? For some reason I get the feeling you may have served a few unjustified sneeze sandwiches.

Yes what a terrible job they must have. Try putting on a uniform and deploying for a year and a half in 130' heat some day. We all have our crosses to bear and someone always has it worse. If they cant hack it, find something else to do.

 

[TLSnell1981]

So many points to be made here...





5. If waiting tables was so lucrative, why don't more people strive to become servers? Well, it is not easy work and you really have to be good at it in order to make a decent/good living. Trust me, those servers who are not very good do not last long because they cannot make a decent wage.

Waiting table is hard work....and can also be stressful. Not all are cut out to be servers. It takes someone who is not afraid to work and ready to take the good with the bad. Too many see waiting tables as easy money. Others just don't have what it takes. While not easy money it can be good money.

 

[DiszyDean]

And yet, servers wonder why they come off bad in these threads?

I think there have been several servers who posted in this thread that have made some very valid points, the last one withstanding.

Obviously, advocating "sneezing in a sandwich" because you feel that the customer is being difficult is a ridiculous notion and I am pretty certain does not reflect the viewpoint of 99% of the servers working. There are bad servers just like there are bad bankers, garbage men and any other profession you can think of.

 

[i3utterfli82]

Let me call attention to a couple of things the OP stated. Server giving 20% of their tips to bartender (Highly Unlikely), Server tipping Dishwasher (excuse me but in what restaurant did this ever happen?) Starting at 30 % and going down from there? I doubt the OP is or ever was a server to make such statements, just trying to stir the pot on a volatile topic.

I actually believe she was a server as I was a server myself. In college I worked for a major chain and had to give TONS of money to the bartenders and FOOD RUNNER! Honestly, it probably was 20% sometimes of my tips, so that is not so far fetched, it would depend of the restaurant. In general it is 3-5% of total sales, but also if you had bad tips it could be 20% of what you made.I do not remember tipping dishwashers, just hosts/bartenders/food runners/bus boys. I think 30% tipping is more geared towards fine dining (where we would tip this) as opposed to Applebees...

Also I served for 6 years total and never once did I see anything of the sort of a "sneeze sandwich" or spitting in food, but I am guessing it happens but probably at more "lower class" establishments.

Also many servers do not get 4 table stations especially at busier restaurants, so if a table sits for 2+ hours this eats into their tips they could be making. I think servers make less than what most people would think for all the work they do, which is also behind the scenes for another 2 hours after the restaurant closes and and hour or so before it opens. SO if you fact in the total amount time working it really isn't that great.

 

[Corpsebride]

Let me call attention to a couple of things the OP stated. Server giving 20% of their tips to bartender (Highly Unlikely), Server tipping Dishwasher (excuse me but in what restaurant did this ever happen?) Starting at 30 % and going down from there? I doubt the OP is or ever was a server to make such statements, just trying to stir the pot on a volatile topic.

no, she is pretty right on. The restaurants I worked in had full bars. So, if my table had drinks, I had to tip the bartender, If I was the bartender, I got tipped, We all tipped the busboys, and the dishwashers. Everyone did. That is how it works. I would just use that info as good inside information when tipping. It all does not go in your servers pocket. Its a drag. especially when you have a big party who orders a lot and tips little, takes a ton of time at a big table. I dontthink she was trying to stir the pot, just putting it out there that it is subject one should consider when eating out. that is all.

 

[TLSnell1981]

no, she is pretty right on. The restaurants I worked in had full bars. So, if my table had drinks, I had to tip the bartender, If I was the bartender, I got tipped, We all tipped the busboys, and the dishwashers. Everyone did. That is how it works. I would just use that info as good inside information when tipping. It all does not go in your servers pocket. Its a drag. especially when you have a big party who orders a lot and tips little, takes a ton of time at a big table. I dontthink she was trying to stir the pot, just putting it out there that it is subject one should consider when eating out. that is all.

Most establishments have a service charge (auto grat) included for large parties....Disney does this at 6 guests.

 

[Corpsebride]

By calling attention to these tactics? For some reason I get the feeling you may have served a few unjustified sneeze sandwiches.

Yes what a terrible job they must have. Try putting on a uniform and deploying for a year and a half in 130' heat some day. We all have our crosses to bear and someone always has it worse. If they cant hack it, find something else to do.

wow. I guess no one has thanked you lately for serving the rest of us. Well let me say "thank you". But to minimize a person who goes to work everyday and serving food , that is just too bad. I had also stated that sometimes life doesnt work out how you planned, somepeople have to wait tables to make ends meet. it is as simple as that. eating out is a luxury. I never understood people who came in with an attitude of entitlement. they always got minimal service. but what ever. I dont do that line of work anymore.
its simple . the golden rule. if you treat someone like crap, you will get it in return. anyways, this has been fun. time for me to move on.
lets all strive for whirrled peas!!