Melora
Disney Dreaming
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2003
- Messages
- 2,556
Im so irritated my ex right now I thought I would just write it all out.
Sorry this turned out so long..It could have been 5 times this length, but I figured I would save you all from some of my irritation.
Mark, my ex, moved away a year ago last October (17 months ago). Since then the older kids have been up to see him in Washington about 2 times. I will not send our youngest (8) up for a variety of reasons. After the older ones got back last summer with very bad burns from a tanning booth (something I would NEVER have let them do but his wife did) and then found out they let the girls go into downtown Seattle with a neighbor who had been in jail (ok 20 years ago but STILL) for possibly molesting a family member and then letting my 14 year old dye her hair without calling to ask me first.... I know I am doing the right thing by not allowing the younger one to go.
So its been almost a year and half since hes seen his youngest. He rarely calls, and maybe talks to him every 5 or 6 weeks for 5 minutes.
I am actually very happy I do not have to deal with him a regular basis and Alex is quite happy to have Jeff as his dad.
So Mark arrives here in LA on Wednesday around noon. He told Sarah (16) he would be out her to our house around 3 and spend the rest of the day with them. Well come 5:30 theres no call so I call his moms house (where he is staying) and he says "Oh Im so glad you called, Ive been running around all day with my mom and just got in..I'll be there shortly". So he shows up finally at around 7:30. He spends until about 9:30 and since its a school night I have to send the kids to bed.
Now yesterday he says he will come over after school. I do not hear from him all day so I call around 5 to see whats going on. He tells me the same thing, hes been busy with his mom (he has to borrow her car to drive out here..about 25 miles so I understand that he does depend on his moms schedule somewhat). So he tells me he will have the car around 6:30 and come out then. We had a dance class last night and I said well if you get there ahead of us, just wait. He said no problem. We get home from class (which I would not have gone and taken the girls to if he were coming early) and he is not there. By 8 he is not there and hasnt called. By 8:15 I put Alex, the 8 year old, to bed.
Sarah comes downstairs about 8:30 and says Daddy called hes not coming tonight. I asked why and she said she didnt remember the exact reason just that he said he was tired and got caught up in stuff.
Sarah looked devastated. She knows how her father is. He is one of these people who feels like they will never be OK unless they are on some kind of medication and he keeps going from med to med to see what works. At first he told me they diagnosed him as Bi-polar..now I lived with the man for 14 years and he is NOT bi-polar. Well when that med didnt work they now have on Ridlin (sp?) for ADD. He says he feels great. I won't comment except to say that because hes always "med-hoping" hes always tired, or out of it.
I could tell Sarah was really upset last night and this morning I asked if she was mad at her dad she said no..disappointed but not mad. (This is the girl who reads the Dahli Lama for pleasure and goes to yoga 3 times a week and she doesnt like to be "mad" at people).
I want to tell her its OK to be mad. How can you finally get your rear down here and not want to spend every available moment with your kids? Especially your youngest who you havent seen in almost a year and a half.
He is staying only through Monday morning and his mom is wanting him to go to a family reunion all day Sunday and she informs me that its adults only...
She told Mark that he will have all day Saturday with the kids and can come over Sunday night, so its OK for him to go to this thing.... I don't understand why he couldnt take his 15 and 16 year old daughters to a family function at someones house. So take away one more day he won't see them and he won't tell his mom No..
ARGH!! Sorry this was so long..Im just pretty irritated at him right now..but I guess its no different then any other time!
Sorry this turned out so long..It could have been 5 times this length, but I figured I would save you all from some of my irritation.
Mark, my ex, moved away a year ago last October (17 months ago). Since then the older kids have been up to see him in Washington about 2 times. I will not send our youngest (8) up for a variety of reasons. After the older ones got back last summer with very bad burns from a tanning booth (something I would NEVER have let them do but his wife did) and then found out they let the girls go into downtown Seattle with a neighbor who had been in jail (ok 20 years ago but STILL) for possibly molesting a family member and then letting my 14 year old dye her hair without calling to ask me first.... I know I am doing the right thing by not allowing the younger one to go.
So its been almost a year and half since hes seen his youngest. He rarely calls, and maybe talks to him every 5 or 6 weeks for 5 minutes.
I am actually very happy I do not have to deal with him a regular basis and Alex is quite happy to have Jeff as his dad.
So Mark arrives here in LA on Wednesday around noon. He told Sarah (16) he would be out her to our house around 3 and spend the rest of the day with them. Well come 5:30 theres no call so I call his moms house (where he is staying) and he says "Oh Im so glad you called, Ive been running around all day with my mom and just got in..I'll be there shortly". So he shows up finally at around 7:30. He spends until about 9:30 and since its a school night I have to send the kids to bed.
Now yesterday he says he will come over after school. I do not hear from him all day so I call around 5 to see whats going on. He tells me the same thing, hes been busy with his mom (he has to borrow her car to drive out here..about 25 miles so I understand that he does depend on his moms schedule somewhat). So he tells me he will have the car around 6:30 and come out then. We had a dance class last night and I said well if you get there ahead of us, just wait. He said no problem. We get home from class (which I would not have gone and taken the girls to if he were coming early) and he is not there. By 8 he is not there and hasnt called. By 8:15 I put Alex, the 8 year old, to bed.
Sarah comes downstairs about 8:30 and says Daddy called hes not coming tonight. I asked why and she said she didnt remember the exact reason just that he said he was tired and got caught up in stuff.
Sarah looked devastated. She knows how her father is. He is one of these people who feels like they will never be OK unless they are on some kind of medication and he keeps going from med to med to see what works. At first he told me they diagnosed him as Bi-polar..now I lived with the man for 14 years and he is NOT bi-polar. Well when that med didnt work they now have on Ridlin (sp?) for ADD. He says he feels great. I won't comment except to say that because hes always "med-hoping" hes always tired, or out of it.
I could tell Sarah was really upset last night and this morning I asked if she was mad at her dad she said no..disappointed but not mad. (This is the girl who reads the Dahli Lama for pleasure and goes to yoga 3 times a week and she doesnt like to be "mad" at people).
I want to tell her its OK to be mad. How can you finally get your rear down here and not want to spend every available moment with your kids? Especially your youngest who you havent seen in almost a year and a half.
He is staying only through Monday morning and his mom is wanting him to go to a family reunion all day Sunday and she informs me that its adults only...
She told Mark that he will have all day Saturday with the kids and can come over Sunday night, so its OK for him to go to this thing.... I don't understand why he couldnt take his 15 and 16 year old daughters to a family function at someones house. So take away one more day he won't see them and he won't tell his mom No..ARGH!! Sorry this was so long..Im just pretty irritated at him right now..but I guess its no different then any other time!
but at least they are old enough to understand that is how their father is and know that it isn't "them". My DSis has this problem with her ex. He calls just enough to torment my DNph and sees him maybe once or twice a year, usually when my DSis comes home to visit. He will say he is coming and bringing his daughters (DNph's 1/2 sisters) and then it never happens. He is 9 yo now and starting to understand his father, plus my DSis has had him in therapy off and on for a couple of years, whenever he needs to talk. The best you can do for your DDs and DS is be there for them, let them know how much they are loved and realize he is the one missing out.
