Time Cover - What do you think?

[chobie]

I nursed my first until she was 2.5 years old and my second to about 1.5. It's not something I set out to do, it just progressed that way. She still wanted to nurse and I was fine with it until I became pregnant with my second and it was painful so I weaned her. I did, however, stop nursing in public once she got to be about one-ish. Had already been the recipient of enough dirty looks for BF (discreetly with a blanket cover BTW) in public with an infant.

I don't have a problem, obviously, with EBF, but I do think that picture is weird. Poor judgment of the part of the mother and it does nothing but make it worse for mothers who believe EBF is right for their children. I don't think that mother is getting sexual gratification from it, but I do think she is trying to cash in on the controversy. As far as the kid being ruined for life, well only time will tell, we have no idea what the future holds for him.

Our society has a bizaare fixation with breasts in general and is very contradictory about BF in general. Any mother that does not BF for the first few months is looked down on, but don't do it in public, you need to be made to feel uncomfortable, hook yourself up to a pump etc. But then if you breastfeed past a few months then people start to judge for you that and if you don't wean by one year then people want to accuse you of doing it for "your pleasure," ruining your kids etc.

Personally, I've had it with the mommy wars. Breastfeeding v. bottle moms, SAHMs v. Working moms, Tiger moms v. whatever, CIO moms v.non-CIO moms. Enough already.

And we should be really careful as a society about when we want the goverment to step in and dictate how we raise our kids.

I do agree that BF moms have been the more judgmental ones when it comes to that issue and I hate that some do that. No mother should try to act superior to another for a personal choice like that. On the other hand, the people who think that any women who has the audacity to BF in public is an exhibitionist or "trying to prove something" are way out of line also, and should get over themselves.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

Meh, IMO bottles should be gone around age 2, along with binkies.

 

[jt'smom]

i haven't read all the replies, but i thought the cover was inappropriate with the headline about being "mom enough". i hate all of the judging back and forth about what who's a better parent. that said, i have a sister-in-law who practices attachment parenting and we always have a issue at family get togethers because she will have her older kids (and i mean up to a 10 year old!) who will get tantrumy and demand to "nurse" in front of everyone. she says it's just sibling rivalry, but it really freaks everyone else out, especially all of the other families teenagers. i don't think it's an every day thing in their house, but frankly i find it very bizarre and i often wonder how much therapy those kids will need eventually!!!

 

[Gumbo4x4]

The size of the breast doesn't have anything to do with the amount of milk produced. Women of all sizes and shapes produce what is needed for their infants (and older). It's not like you have to be a DD or higher to "produce significant milk". You think women that are A or B cups can't nurse?

Sorry so slow to this - my point was that women who are NORMALLY A or B cups are NOT typically that size while nursing My wife uses every trick Victoria's Secret ever thought of to try to fill a B cup "normally". She was literally bursting out of a C cup while nursing both our daughters

 

[Coconut36]

Sorry so slow to this - my point was that women who are NORMALLY A or B cups are NOT typically that size while nursing My wife uses every trick Victoria's Secret ever thought of to try to fill a B cup "normally". She was literally bursting out of a C cup while nursing both our daughters

I don't necessary agree. There is some increase but after the initial stages when your milk supply settles so does your size. I know women who barely hit a B at the peak of their time nursing. Size of breasts do not equate to amount of milk being produced. It really is not a one size fits all situation in the slightest and big or small they can produce the milk necessary for nursing. Obviously the amount of milk necessary for an older child (and the likely frequency of nursing) is not going to be comparable to a newborn or infant.

 

[esk]

Just wanted to say.....

everything we do as parents is potentially "bad" for our children later. Or so we'll be told.

Remember how when you were pregnant, there was so much you couldn't do? One glass of wine is bad --- then we were told it was OK, it relaxes you. Don't eat soft cheese ---- soft cheese is OK, just not to much of it. Then we were told no caffeine --- then "the experts" said one isn't too bad. Put them to sleep on their sides --- whoops, that's a bad idea, it's the back. Tummy time is OK --- nope, tummy time helps them roll over and cause SIDS.

We don't know what we don't know. My mom didn't nurse me at all because at the time, formula was considered superior for brain development, with all the added nutrients. The pendulum swung the other way, and now breast is best. Until a new study comes out.

Cow's milk is bad, cow's milk is good. Vitamins are unnecessary, vitamins are critical to development. You can find an article by "an expert" that says almost anything you want it to.

Want to bet in like 15-10 years we'll find out something we all did for our babies --- pacifiers, or back sleeping --- is bad?

Side note: saw the TV interview and that is one immature, whiny almost-4 year old. Don't know or care if it has anything to do with EBF, but neither of my kids behaved like that at almost 4. And Dr Sear's reaction was "uhh.....hey, whiny kid" but almost like he didn't know what to make of it.

 

[Colleen27]

As others have said, the way the photo is staged bothers me. I don't see anything wrong with extended breastfeeding but the pose and wardrobe choices in that photo blur the line between the nurturing and sexual aspects of breasts and I don't think that is an appropriate message/image at all. Dress the kid in a pair of Toy Story PJs, cuddled up on Mom's lap before bed - a real-world scene of a nursing toddler - and you make the same point/open the same dialogue without the controversy for controversy's sake. But that's not what our media is about - they're about sensationalism, not information.

 

[NYEmomma]

Sorry so slow to this - my point was that women who are NORMALLY A or B cups are NOT typically that size while nursing My wife uses every trick Victoria's Secret ever thought of to try to fill a B cup "normally". She was literally bursting out of a C cup while nursing both our daughters

Not everyone (unfortunately, lol) gets larger when nursing. I was a small B cup prior to getting pregnant and never moved out of my B cup bras when I was pregnant, nor did I increase in size significantly the entire 14 months my DD nursed. And after she weaned, I shrank down to an A. I'm pregnant again and have no plans on buying any nursing bras larger than a B cup.

I didn't read the article, but more than likely the woman on the cover is only nursing in the morning and at bedtime (maybe prior to a nap if the child still naps)... nursing that little she's not going to experience the extreme engorgement and size increase that people typically associate with nursing mothers.

In fact, I had a woman at preschool comment to me the other day (I'm 8 months pregnant with twins), "wow! You've only gotten bigger in your belly... even your breasts are still tiny!" Yeah, they are. Thanks for pointing it out.

15% of US women nurse their babies past six months.

Wow... I always figured the number was pretty low, but I never thought it was that low. I nursed DD primarily for financial reasons -- I would have had to go back to work if we had to buy formula. I'm surprised how few people have caught onto the fact that it's SO much cheaper (and easier!) than buying formula, lol!

As for the article itself & my opinion -- I think the picture is having the opposite effect that I'm sure the mother wanted. I would hope that she'd WANT people to be more informed about and supportive of extended breastfeeding... but with the cover photo, I think it's not having the intended effects.

I'm personally for nursing as long as long as both mother and child are happy with the arrangement. In the privacy of your home, in public, I don't really care. I just wish the photo and article were presented in a manner that wasn't so much them vs. us. I'm not offended that I'm not "mom enough" (DD self weaned at 14 months -- I'll be letting the girls nurse until they decide they're done) compared to the people in the magazine... it's just unfortunate that the article embraced the whole mother warfare thing instead of simply trying to enlighten and educate.

 

[MrsDuck]

Someday that poor kid is going to be taunted mercilessly for this.

This is all that matters to me.

Why do I care what someone chooses to do? Time knows how to get the views and they're sure doing it.

 

[hsmamato2]

the kid was basically FOUR,not three.... I didn't worry too much, but the picture was intentionally abrasive..... I figured all kids of outrage would come from this....but it is not too unusual on a worldwide scheme....and I can't COUNT the numbers of kids I've seen at 4 and OLDER sucking pacifiers or baby bottle type cups still....what's the difference? Real breast,or artificial one...to the kid?

 

[hsmamato2]

Actually,what I thougt while watching their interview...was this boy is going to be TORMENTED by all this publicity when he's a teen...no,really! I am the mom of teen sons, who both bf'ed a fair amount of time and if there were public photos and videos of this circulating now they would be mortified! And I wouldn't blame them..... For the record,I LOVE the whole 'attachment parenting' concept....for babies. babies,they need all that unconditional attention and love....and it is a lovely thing. But I have been horrified by all the 'overkill' associated with the idea, take a good idea for babies,and drag it out to extremes....babies,and children have VERY different needs. As do teens. Like privacy....and the ability to grow up,and out of the roles they played as baby....

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Not everyone (unfortunately, lol) gets larger when nursing. I was a small B cup prior to getting pregnant and never moved out of my B cup bras when I was pregnant, nor did I increase in size significantly the entire 14 months my DD nursed. And after she weaned, I shrank down to an A. I'm pregnant again and have no plans on buying any nursing bras larger than a B cup.

Suppose that can be the case. Somewhat uncommon though. Makes me wonder if the gal hasn't long since dried out & is just using this whole thing as a publicity stunt.

FWIW, My wife was only able to breast feed DD#1 for ~4 months & dd#2 for ~10 months before she stopped producing. In both cases, getting out of the routine of the constant feeding really slowed her down.

 

[Coconut36]

Suppose that can be the case. Somewhat uncommon though. Makes me wonder if the gal hasn't long since dried out & is just using this whole thing as a publicity stunt.

And you as a man are determining this is uncommon based on your own personal lactation experience? (not trying to be snarky!) Seriously..as a former nursing mother, who knows other nursing mothers (one of them I remember lamenting regularly how she never managed to "grow" beyond a B cup yet sufficiently nursed 2 children for over a year each) I am trying to tell you flat out and clearly that breast size has ZERO to do with the amount of milk produced. What happened to your wife is what happened to her..not what happened to me or another nursing Mom. I don't think it unusual and frankly it really varies from woman to woman. It is not a given that you will go up multiple cup sizes. I can remember trying to plan for nursing bras and being told by Motherhood and my OB (and OB nurse) that some women stay the same size, some go up 1 size..some go up 3 sizes..it just depends.

ETA-This topic gets me because I know mothers who were told by people that they "couldn't make enough milk" because they were a B cup (or smaller) or that they couldn't nurse because of misconceptions around breast size and milk production (as in..your breasts didn't get big enough..means no milk or not enough milk type things). They were upset and resentful to learn they based their choices on false information.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Stereotypes exist for a reason. Even the pp who's about ready to give birth mentioned the astonishment from the daycare worker at her lack of shall we say "the norm". And while you make a good point about every person being different, I think you'd be hard pressed to convince anyone that breasts becoming "larger than before" is anyting but "expected" when it comes to breast-feeding women.

Oh, and as a man I've probably spent more time STUDYING breasts than someone who is equipped with them

 

[Coconut36]

Stereotypes exist for a reason. Even the pp who's about ready to give birth mentioned the astonishment from the daycare worker at her lack of shall we say "the norm". And while you make a good point about every person being different, I think you'd be hard pressed to convince anyone that breasts becoming "larger than before" is anyting but "expected" when it comes to breast-feeding women.

Oh, and as a man I've probably spent more time STUDYING breasts than someone who is equipped with them

See my ETA above. This is a sore point for me because I know people who were told by people like you that what happened wasn't "normal" or that they must not have enough milk because they weren't huge. That is such a fallacy.

You go around analyzing the breasts of lactating women?

 

[Gumbo4x4]

See my ETA above. This is a sore point for me because I know people who were told by people like you that what happened wasn't "normal" or that they must not have enough milk because they weren't huge. That is such a fallacy.

I've never heard that, but it's not really a topic I'd search out, so.... I guess all I can say on that is that I'd never try to discourage a new mom or mom to be in any way. Seems like playing with fire

You go around analyzing the breasts of lactating women?

To quote Ron White - Once you've seen one breast.................. you pretty much wanna see all the rest of 'em I do have many memories of women who seemed to suddenly have enourmous breasts on display, only to notice the baby bump a few weeks later. I'm too old to say that of my peers these days though

 

[NYEmomma]

ETA-This topic gets me because I know mothers who were told by people that they "couldn't make enough milk" because they were a B cup (or smaller) or that they couldn't nurse because of misconceptions around breast size and milk production (as in..your breasts didn't get big enough..means no milk or not enough milk type things). They were upset and resentful to learn they based their choices on false information.

I don't care whether people choose to breastfeed or formula feed but this is something that really makes me angry/upset. The PERVASIVE misinformation about breastfeeding that is sooo often given to new/expecting mothers by friends, family, and even healthcare workers that don't know any better -- and that information causes women to quit and/or not attempt nursing.

It's really discouraging especially to see nurses, obstetricians and pediatricians be so appallingly uneducated about breastfeeding.

 

[kidshop]

And you as a man are determining this is uncommon based on your own personal lactation experience? (not trying to be snarky!) Seriously..as a former nursing mother, who knows other nursing mothers (one of them I remember lamenting regularly how she never managed to "grow" beyond a B cup yet sufficiently nursed 2 children for over a year each) I am trying to tell you flat out and clearly that breast size has ZERO to do with the amount of milk produced. What happened to your wife is what happened to her..not what happened to me or another nursing Mom. I don't think it unusual and frankly it really varies from woman to woman. It is not a given that you will go up multiple cup sizes. I can remember trying to plan for nursing bras and being told by Motherhood and my OB (and OB nurse) that some women stay the same size, some go up 1 size..some go up 3 sizes..it just depends.

ETA-This topic gets me because I know mothers who were told by people that they "couldn't make enough milk" because they were a B cup (or smaller) or that they couldn't nurse because of misconceptions around breast size and milk production (as in..your breasts didn't get big enough..means no milk or not enough milk type things). They were upset and resentful to learn they based their choices on false information.

Since this this the thread of TMI, I am/was the size of the mom on the cover. No problems with milk production here. I was only engorged once when my milk came in for the first time with ds1, and we are talking huge footballs for that! It never happened again and I never even felt when the milk came in with ds2 or dd3. I think it made it much easier to feed; there is less to maneuver and to see.

Even men have all the plumbing, the extra is mostly fat!

 

[Deb in IA]

Two points:


1. Differences in breast size are due to different amounts of fatty and connective tissue.
Actual milk-producing mammary tissue is the same size for almost every woman.


2. I cancelled my subscription to TIME today. Not that I am against breastfeeding - in fact, as a pediatrician, it is just the opposite. I am a big supporter of breastfeeding, and between my own two children, spent 18 months of my life as a lactating mom.

I cancelled it because I felt the cover was exploiting a child as a means to make money for the publisher. And I can't support that.

 

[Mkrop]

Two points:


1. Differences in breast size are due to different amounts of fatty and connective tissue.
Actual milk-producing mammary tissue is the same size for almost every woman.


2. I cancelled my subscription to TIME today. Not that I am against breastfeeding - in fact, as a pediatricican, it is just the opposite. I am a big supporter of breastfeeding, and between my own two children, spent 18 months of my life as a lactating mom.

I cancelled it because I felt the cover was exploiting a child as a means to make money for the publisher. And I can't support that.