Those with toddlers- HELP!

[shruley]

We are taking my DD to the World for the first time in early Dec. She will be 27 months old. DD is what you might call "high maintence". She's probably a pretty typical 2 year old (she's our first), but maybe a little more independant (that's why day care says!) and more strong willed than others. She goes from happy to mad and back in .2 seconds and patience is not a virtue she has. I have no idea if other toddlers have any patience but mine has zip-zero!! Now, she's not a total terror, but not an easy going child, either.

When I look at her now and think of her at Disney, I am freaking out wondering why I thought this was a good idea? [&:] I have these horrible pictures in my head of her freaking out in line and throwing a tantrum on it's a small world!

Is there anyone out there with a similar temperment child who can put my mind at ease that it will be okay? I'd love to hear stories of how other kids did. We do plan on taking her back to the Poly for a nap each day and letting her needs dictate what we do, etc., but I'm still worried, and I figure in 2 more months I'll have lots of horrible scenerios running through my head!!!

 

[missymagic]

My youngest is the same way. I have been taking them to Disney since they were born and every year is a different experience depending on their personality at the time. She had her moments but in my experience their has always been something new to show her or a character to see to take her mind off the immediate moment. Keep little snack in backback. I would make up different little snack baggies every morning from the boxes of snacks I packed. Always worked for me. But the nap is great in the middle of the afternoon. Always helped me to re-energize also!!! Everyone was fresh for dinner and a night out.

 

[J and R's mom]

Although I can't put your mind at ease, I'm in the same boat. My oldest daughter will be 2.5 yrs old when we go 11/27-12/2. I, too, worry about how she'll be but we're bringing my parents along for additional help (I also have another daughter who will be 12 months old but she's VERY laid back).

I'm interested in what others have done to help prevent melt-downs.

Having her grandparents there will help my daughter ALOT, though, because she ADORES my mother and my mom seems to have unending patience with her.

 

[LaraK]

I found my DD was better behaved in Disney than at home when we were there in April. One tip is to pick your battles. I tend to be very strict with my children. Before leaving, DH and I decided what we were going to enforce and what we were going to let go. We didn't want to allow a free for all because that would lead to horrible behavior, but I didn't want to sweat the small stuff. That being said, we stuck with safety being the key item. We also tried as much as possible to stick to routine. The funny thing was that the day we pushed the envelop (let's go ahead and try to skip the nap today) my DD got angry, took all of our towels (we were at Blizzard Beach), made her own bed and went to sleep. I have the BEST pictures of her sleeping on a lounger with her but in the air. Examples of the rules WE used are below:

Fought the fight:
Bedtime
Holding hands in busy places
Rudeness
Waiting nicely in line
Sitting while chewing
Wanting something at EVERY store

Let it go:
What she ate...cookies as a meal and no veggies for a week wouldn't cause perminant damage
One special souvenier a day
Choice of activities (charecters took up a lot of time, once she saw them we didn't try to pull her away)

Fights occurred when:
We let her get overtired
We tried to pull her away from something when she wasn't ready to go (pool, Minnie's country house, playgrounds)

Hope this helps

 

[DonnaDuck]

Thanks Lara!!

My toddler will be 2.5 years on our WDW trip. I have also worried about this. Thanks for the great tips!!

 

[CleveRocks]

I found my DD was better behaved in Disney than at home when we were there in April. One tip is to pick your battles. I tend to be very strict with my children. Before leaving, DH and I decided what we were going to enforce and what we were going to let go. We didn't want to allow a free for all because that would lead to horrible behavior, but I didn't want to sweat the small stuff. That being said, we stuck with safety being the key item. We also tried as much as possible to stick to routine. ...

Examples of the rules WE used are below:

Fought the fight:
Bedtime
Holding hands in busy places
Rudeness
Waiting nicely in line
Sitting while chewing
Wanting something at EVERY store

Let it go:
What she ate...cookies as a meal and no veggies for a week wouldn't cause perminant damage
One special souvenier a day
Choice of activities (charecters took up a lot of time, once she saw them we didn't try to pull her away)

Fights occurred when:
We let her get overtired
We tried to pull her away from something when she wasn't ready to go (pool, Minnie's country house, playgrounds)

Hope this helps

WOW! If I didn't know any better, I'd swear LaraK was my wife, except my wife's name isn't Lara and we took out 2.5 year old to WDW in May, not April. We had very similar ground rules to Lara's, with very similar positive results. It wasn't perfection, but it also wasn't a horror show. If you're relaxed enough (and in agreement with your spouse enough) to pick your battles, you may just be lucky like LaraK and I and our spouses were.

-- Eric

 

[BlondeAlligator]

My DD is 3 and the tips I read here were great! We are going to WDW at the end of the month for Halloween...she is a VERY picky eater, and very strong-headed; mostly very well-behaved but if she wants or doesn't want something, she can really dig her heels in. We are going with her grandparents so that my DH & I can get a break every so often (& she can get one from us as well). We will be at the Poly because I know she'll love exploring the resort & swimming at the pool. We plan to let her set the pace. We have been so many times & done everything & we realize that this trip is about her. I will let you know how it goes & if I have any tips for those of you going later this year with your little ones.

Wish me luck!

 

[mickeymel]

I am feeling your pain!! We were at WDW in July 2005 and dd (20 mths at the time) was pretty good most of the time. Meal time was the worst. SHe has no desire to sit and eat. Eating is on the low end of her priorities. If she was really hungry I could maybe get 5-10 minutes of her sitting down. We did many buffets because of that. I missed a few special moments with my other kids (activities going on with characters) because I would take her out of the area during the meal. Overall, it was a great trip and she had a blast. If we hadn't had to fly or eat it would have been perfect!!

 

[susykt4]

I was terrified about how DS (29 months at time of April trip) was going to behave. At home he was very prone to tantrums and didn't do well in crowds or around strangers. DH and I were so sure he was going to be awful that we agreed in advance who would go back to the resort with him when he acted up, etc. (The trip was basically planned around princess-loving DD5)

Anyway, DS SHOCKED us!!!!! He was EXCELLENT. He loved the rides, loved the shows, loved the characters. He even loved his stroller which he normally won't go near. We returned to our room daily for naptime and went to the parks by opening to get the most rides with the least waits. I don't think he ever had a real tantrum! He even ate fairly well! Like I said, we were shocked

Another thing we did that might be a bit "advanced" for a 27 month old but worked well for DD5 was to give Tinker Bell gifts based on good behavior. If DD was good during the day and didn't whine or fight with her brother, Tink would come at night (think Tooth Fairy) and leave a small gift under her pillow. She LOVED this and totally believed in the magic. DS loved his Tink gifts too but I don't think he really made the connection that good behavior equals prize.

 

[KeepSwimming]

I don't care how low or high maintanence anyones kids are....they all have meltdowns now and then. No matter what happens, let me assure you that no matter what you've read or heard, most of the people in the lines around you have been through it too.

So even if your little angel has a complete emotional collapse, spins around on the ground, and screams at the top of her lungs (if I'm nearby) I'll offer you a reasuring smile. Mostly because I've been there a time or two, and a little because I'll be relieved it's not one of mine!

Have a great time!

 

[Jock Wu]

Have been to WDW 3 times in the last 10 mths with my son, who's now 2 yrs 4 mths...

The first 2 times he was well-behaved, but this trip was more trying...my wife said he's now reached the terrible 2s...

I think he's reached a stage where he's excitable and interested in buses and boats and trains and wants to get on them ASAP...not knowing he has to wait for the right ones...and so when we didn't go on he would have a bit of a meltdown...sometimes it was fine but when the 3rd bus arrived and we didn't get on, he would get cranky!

Though on our special occasion dinner at California Grill...he was very good...kept on looking out the window at the buses and monorail and boats...and then he would play with the sugar packets...very nice, memorable meal...

But then he was loud during dinner at Jiko, and the lady at the next table gave us a couple of mean looks...I'm sorry he was distracting, but please be more understanding...one of the reasons I go to WDW is because I can take kids to nicer restaurants, which is something I can't do at home in NJ...(grandparents are in Australia and Canada, so it's just my wife and I)

Also, on the flight back, the plane was delayed for 2 hours, eating into my son's normal nap time...and so he got a bit restless...the lady in front didn't react too kindly and even reclined her seat as my wife was holding our son, restricting my wife's space...what did the lady think - that our son was disturbing her on purpose?

I think people have to remember that anything to do with Disney will 99% of the time involve kids...just give us a little bit of slack...

I have also heard a story where a lady got so upset with the number of noisy kids on her flight to Orlando, she complained to the flight hostess...uh, hello?? This is a flight to Orlando...

So I agree with KeepSwimming...meltdowns are a fact of toddler life...and most people at WDW have experienced them and are understanding...

Cheers,

Joe

 

[mjmcca]

I have traveled alone with my kids to Disney several times in the past year. They are DS 4 and DD 3. I occasionally take my friend's kids( she lives in central Fla) with me to the parks. Since i am at times alone with 4 kids ages 3-5 with only a teenager for help ( Friend's younger sister if she isn't in school). I tend to be very strict otherwise i will lose control. but i let them set the pace if that makes sense. I let them choose where they want to go in the parks . I don't rush them around we take it at their pace. If they want ice cream as long as it isn't the 3rd time for the day i let them have it. They always want to go back with me so i mustn't be too much of an ogre.




My best advise is let the toddler set the pace. Don't be a commando if it will cause a problem with your child. As a few other posters suggested choose your battles.
If worse comes to worst and they are having a meltdown try and find a quiet corner for them to calm down. If that does not work go back to the room.

 

[asktriplets]

not sure if i can ease your mind about the behavior, as mine are generally pretty laidback, BUT i will say that on the few ocassions when we did have meltdowns, it was due to the kids being either tired or hungry (and we learned our lesson on our 1st trip when the kids had just turned 2, so when we went back with them at 2 1/2, we did a much better job at keeping them on their schedule).

the thing that i think saved us on this last trip was the fact that we were staying at the poly---LOVE it!! the best thing for us was the fact that on most days, "home" was a few short minutes away on the monorail (and all 3 of my kids LOVE the monorail). on days when we were at the MK in the AM, we took the monorail back for naptime, but got off at the TTC...it is a short, relaxing, beautiful walk back to the poly on a shaded,secluded pathway, and my kids loved this "downtime" before nap...they had the freedom to walk by themselves (no handholding or having to pay attention to where they were going), and there were loads of lizards on the wooden posts along the walkway, so they would get excited about going on a "lizard walk" before we even left MK (got them out of the park hassle-free!)!

we also loved letting them have downtime on the beach in the evenings. we made it a "tradition" to go down and play on the beach for a while, then watch fireworks over the castle and the electric water paegant...fun fun fun!

as for day-to-day dealings in the park,
here is how we have scheduled our last 2 trips, and will plan on doing the same next month:

we plan about an hour or 2 in the AM to do planned activities/attractions (eg: ride fantasyland rides, or see playhouse disney and do a meet-n-greet), but then spent the rest of the morning doing "unscheduled" activities (eg: play areas, counter service for lunch, exploring pathways, or dancing to music). we then go back for nap, then come back to a park and plan for another hour or 2 of activities, then "freetime" in the parks. obviously, it didn't always happen like this, but it really seems to help ALL of us to have lots of downtime built into the schedule, and at this age, my kids seem to have a much harder time maintaining their behavior after about 2 hrs. at a time. i have a list of "downtime" activities for each park, so we always have ideas for fun, relaxing things to do when the kids need to be able to chill out.

(and of course, having chocolate on hand to distract them from a meltdown-waiting-to-happen is always wise!!)
have a great time!

 

[100AcreWood]

LaraK is right on! The only thing I will add is you may be surprised by her behavior in Disney. We took our dd at 29 months for the first time (February) and she was better behaved in Disney! She is very active and not laid back. This was her town. So much to do and so many characters to see!

However, we returned again in September with my parents and she was a completely different child. I think the heat and overstimulation from Grandma was too much. I always try to be laid back on vacation and not enforce all the rules (pick your battles as they said below). But this trip she melted down a lot. I just reminded her if she couldn't be a nice girl we would need to go back to the hotel. And I meant it. Also, when she melted I brought her into a shop to cool off and distract her.

 

[LaraK]

WOW! If I didn't know any better, I'd swear LaraK was my wife, except my wife's name isn't Lara and we took out 2.5 year old to WDW in May, not April. We had very similar ground rules to Lara's, with very similar positive results. It wasn't perfection, but it also wasn't a horror show. If you're relaxed enough (and in agreement with your spouse enough) to pick your battles, you may just be lucky like LaraK and I and our spouses were.

-- Eric

OK...now you and I are in trouble because my DH's name is Eric.

One other thing I forgot, be careful not to threaten things you are not going to deliver. No matter how irked you are at your child for having a screaming tantrum in the airport, don't threaten to cancel the trip unless you can afford to go home and loose the thousands of dollars you just invested. If you threaten something once "you do that ONE more time and you're going back to the hotel!" and then don't do it. No further threats (I prefer stated consequences to actions not in line with our expectations...can you tell I work in a PR field?) will ever work again.

 

[devotedchristian]

So even if your little angel has a complete emotional collapse, spins around on the ground, and screams at the top of her lungs (if I'm nearby) I'll offer you a reasuring smile. Mostly because I've been there a time or two

 

[kizmac]

I have two of those high maintenance models myself! LOL....anyhow, my DD who is 18 months didn't do lines very well at all this time. She did have some melt downs. I ended up waiting in line with the other kids for Dumbo which was really only the line that was long and then DH would hand me her right before the ride. Much better this way. Other than that she was good as gold in her stroller and most of the other times. She would be a handful on the bus at times but at the park she wasn't bad at all.

Keep her hydrated too! The heat can really take a toll on them and being busy,you really can forget to push the fluids which I found made my DD very cranky if she wasn't drinking enough.

Try not to worry about it all. There will be a meltdown or two,ok....maybe three or more, but don't sweat it. Most everyone around you will sympathize. There will be those that will be annoyed, but oh well, they'll get over it.

 

[shruley]

Thanks, you have all helped so much. We're actually stepping up the dicipline (I should probably say "expectations") now that's she's turned 2 so I hope by Dec. she'll get the message that what we say, we mean. I just keep thinking if everyone else can do it and survive, so can we! She really does LOVE Disney and the characters so I'm hoping this is a great trip for her. She adores any Princess and, I think meeting Cinderella in person would be her dream come true. She also loves Pooh, Playhouse Disney, Mickey and Minnie so I just keep telling myself it will be worth it. Thanks also for making me feel better about spending so much $$$ on the Poly. When I upgraded to the Poly I kept wondering if was worth it, but with DD I think it totally will be.

 

[Colinsmom]

Our DS was 27 months when we took him to Disney for the first time, and pretty short on patience. Definitely not a laid-back kid, though he also doesn't throw himself on the floor during tantrums - kinda in-between.

You're going at a good time, when things are slow. I'd suggest looking for short lines; don't try to tackle any longer lines (you may not see any long ones, but just in case). Avoid MK on the weekends as it gets busier and do the other parks those days. Jump into show lines right before the show starts. If she wants to stop and do something - characters were big for DS - go with it. We did a lot more characters than rides on DS's first trip, but that's what he really loved. Don't ask her if she wants to do something unless you are SURE that she can do it (e.g. don't mention the Pooh ride unless you know that it is operating and there is no line). Make time for snacks and meals, and go back to the hotel every day for a mid-day break.

We definitely had meltdowns, but not nearly as many as we would have if we had tried to do a vacation "our" way, KWIM?

Basically, the advice that you were already given - pick your battles, and be ready to work around her needs. Choose which battles you will fight (usually they involve her safety and the comfort of those around you) and those which you will not.

And take lots of photos - they are priceless!!

You will have a blast!!

 

[Mr Poohbrain]

My DS(3) is very low-keyed, so I can't say that I can completely understand your situation (though I do sympathize).

My BF's DD(2.5) is very "high spirited" also. I love her as though she were my own , but she's like a whirlwind when she comes over.

If I didn't know better, I'd swear that you are BF, as she is going down in Nov with DS(6) and above-mentioned DD. I think Lara offered up the best advice (and I will be passing it along to BF as well).

Best of Luck!

Mrs. PB