This old lady at Ikea went off on my kid today.

[ogreenlee]

Now granted... my kid had it comin', but I was stunned!

I got all the way through Ikea without too much problem.. mostly "I'm boooored." Ugh. Anyway... we get to the check-out line and it's long.. very long. My little girl is playing with a roll of wrapping paper that I had picked up. She's tossing it up in the air like a baton (she has gone to her first college ball games the last few weeks, and was taken with the twirler girl) - (i can't remember what they're called). Anyway... I tell her to stop. She doesn't. I tell her to stop again. She doesn't. She just flat out refused to listen to me. These two older (70s) ladies turned around and looked at her and looked at me, and then the one lady looked at my little girl and said meanly, "YOUNG LADY, DO YOU HEAR YOUR MOTHER??!!?!"

My little girl, who unfortunately has a little too much of me in her, says very rudely back to the lady, "YES." Then my little girl gives her a dirty look! OMG- I almost messed myself! Then the lady looked at her and before I could say anything she says, "WELL THEN YOU BETTER LISTEN TO HER AND DON'T YOU GIVE ME A DIRTY LOOK!"

I was too in shock to say anything. I was mad as all heck at my kid, and I wasn't too pleased with this old lady yelling at my kid. It wasn't like we were in her home, and my little girl never did accidentally hit her with the wrapping paper.

Then the old lady turned around and said, "I'm from a different age, and I wouldn't let her get away with that without gettin' a good whippin' with a switch." Then I looked at my little girl and said, "Ya hear that? I told you about the old days and pickin' switches." My girl was nothing but attitude. I was in shock. I walked out of that store steaming mad at everyone. I didn't know who to be mad at. I didn't want my little girl to see me taking up for her behavior, but I didn't want that old lady to get an earful from me in front of my kid, because really.. who the hell does she think she is?

I'm all about it taking a village, but I better know you if I'm standing right there. I'm sure it wouldn't have escalated to what it did had she not intervened. I mean... the kid lasted 2 hours in Ikea.

Can y'all believe that?? LOL

 

[Disney Doll]

If my little girl had continued to "give attitude" to me and an old lady, she would have gotten a whiipping with a switch.

 

[MinnieMe87]

If my little girl had continued to "give attitude" to me and an old lady, she would have gotten a whiipping with a switch.

That's what we would have gotten had we done that when we were kids, and that's what my kids (if I have any) will get if they act that way.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I think it's nice the lady defended you.

 

[ogreenlee]

I don't use switches, but I won't lie and say that I didn't think about it.

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

If my little girl had continued to "give attitude" to me and an old lady, she would have gotten a whiipping with a switch.

Ditto..which is probably not what you want to hear lol. I expect my girls to behave in public no matter how long I take at the store and if not, there are deff consequences. I would have personally been embarrassed that someone else felt it necessary to scold my child..not offended. Now I am not saying my girls are angels cause they aren't lol..but if they didn't heed my first warning to behave in public then I would have dropped everything and left the store to deal with them...they both know I don't bluff on that which is why they don't try to push my buttons too often in public lol.

 

[Imzadi]

If my little girl had continued to "give attitude" to me and an old lady, she would have gotten a whiipping with a switch.

Yes, respect the elders. It doesn't matter if you know them or not. A generation ago, (along with the switches ) yes, whole neighborhood streets & villages used to look out for the kids if the parents weren't around. (They might have been caught working late, getting home late and kid sitting on the stoop.) Even if they didn't know the parent or the kid personally. It was the right thing to do. In turn, children were taught to mind their elders.

 

[ogreenlee]

Do people really use switches? And I would have left, but I was picking up something for a friend out of state that I'll be seeing soon, and I couldn't leave what I was there for. I mean, Ikea isn't that far from me, but if you've been to one, you know they can be a hassle.

I'm all about leaving a store with a full cart, though, and she knows that it's going to be worse if I have to do that. I just couldn't do that today.

She did get punished severely as I gave a verbal buttwhoopin' all the way home, and then proceeded to take everything away from her as soon as we walked in the door. Also, she was so excited about being out of school this week, b/c her favorite thing to do is stay up late, and I made her go to bed as soon as we ate dinner, an hour and a half earlier than when she goes to school. I told her this was what she had to do for the rest of the week, as well.

 

[ogreenlee]

Yes, respect the elders. It doesn't matter if you know them or not. A generation ago, (along with the switches ) yes, whole neighborhood streets & villages used to look out for the kids if the parents weren't around. (They might have been caught working late, getting home late and kid sitting on the stoop.) Even if they didn't know the parent or the kid personally. It was the right thing to do. In turn, children were taught to mind their elders.

I'm totally in favor of this, and if my kid were in front of this lady's house, then by all means... but I was standing right there, and I was trying not to cause a scene. This lady scolding my kid in a mean way was not the way to go about it. She gave her this mean look and raised her voice. I think it's uncalled for... in that manner. I mean... I have to say that I probably would have given her a dirty look, too, had she done that to me as a kid.

But yeah... my kid has issues with authority. It's her personality type, and I've had her in therapy, but apparently as she gets older she'll learn to control it better. God, I hope so.

She's six, but tenacious. I've called her "little Hillary" since she was a wee toddler. She won't give up.

 

[brockash]

Okay, obviously I have no idea how old the OP's dd is, and yes of course her dd was in the wrong, but I don't think it excuses the fact that the old ladies were also in the wrong. I just don't really get it. Is it that they're older and think that they have a right to interfere in a younger person's parenting??? I don't know, honestly, no what they said (the first part mainly) wasn't that bad, but still, it's rude, point blank it's just uncalled for. I mean do they really think that because low and behold they told the dd that she better listen to her mom, that the dd is just going to give-in, oh well since you (person I don't know at all) said it, then okay I'll do it.

This brings up something that happened to me at the store today. I was shopping with my 2.5 year old, and she was fine, but singing out loud and I was kinda playing with her, and I said something like "you're loud little lady." This older man, who was kinda across from us in the aisle, decides he has the need to butt in and make a comment. He says, "yes you're too loud." He didn't saying it in a rude tone (I don't think,) but he kept talking about what he used to tell kids that were loud (some kind of threat he used to make to them and how they "shut right up".) I honestly, can't remember exactly what he said, but I remember thinking, right I'm sure you told a 2 year old that and they understood you and were afraid of you and "shut up." I mean I just don't get it Again, it wasn't really in a rude way or anything, it was almost like he was trying to impress me or something, but it was just so odd. I've never had someone comment like that about any of my kids before, but I've been reading a lot more of these types of situations on these boards, and I truly just don't get it. I just kinda smiled, and was polite (as I somehow was raised that way) and got out of that aisle asap, but I still was very put-off by the comment.

 

[AshleyW]

Do people really use switches? And I would have left, but I was picking up something for a friend out of state that I'll be seeing soon, and I couldn't leave what I was there for. I mean, Ikea isn't that far from me, but if you've been to one, you know they can be a hassle.
.....

Yup. My grandma did. and let me tell you.. whatever you did wrong in front of her, you only did it once. I still say "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am" to her.. I'm 22 years old and I think I'd still get it if I didn't.

 

[luvsJack]

I expect my children to show respect for any adult, but I don't really expect adult to start a confrontation with my child either.

The whole concept of "it takes a village" is everyone doing something that is helpful to the raising of and education of a child. But that takes doing something that is actually helpful. Is what the old lady did really all that helpful or did it just make things escalate?

I had a lady in Sam's the other day ask dd if she wanted "some cheese with that whine". At first her remark was funny and it showed dd how she sounded to others; and she did stop complaining. But the lady kept on, "you wouldn't do that with Miss Janey" "I don't put up with that kind of behavior". We just ignored her and moved on. She started out helpful, ended up being annoying. Sometimes adults act like they have to hammer home the point that they are a superior parent and they go too far.

 

[brockash]

Yes, respect the elders. It doesn't matter if you know them or not. A generation ago, (along with the switches ) yes, whole neighborhood streets & villages used to look out for the kids if the parents weren't around. (They might have been caught working late, getting home late and kid sitting on the stoop.) Even if they didn't know the parent or the kid personally. It was the right thing to do. In turn, children were taught to mind their elders.

I completely get this, and agree, and would have absolutely no problem with someone saying something to my child if I weren't around... I've done it many times to other's kids (like at sports teams ect.,) but if it's not a safety issue (which these cases are not) I would never say something to another person's child like that if thier parents were right there and I didn't know them.

In OP's situation, she was obviously standing right there. Like I said I was raised to be polite and wouldn't have said anything either (whether they were elders or other,) but it still make me wonder WTH are they thinking???

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

LOL, we totally got the switch when we were kids from my grandparents. The horrifying part is that you had to go pick your own and woe to the kid who got one that was puny cause then my grandpa would go get one that was strong as heck...he knew how to find the "good ones" lol. They were these thin sticks that grew straight out of the ground and man did they sting! I still remember when my cousin and I thought we would be smart butts and drug a tree branch back instead of a switch...my grandpa popped us with it lol and we NEVER pulled that stunt again.

That said no I personally don't switch my kids but they do get popped on the behind at times and I have been known to put all their belongings in our storage unit for infractions for a week or even a month lol depending on what they did wrong. They LOVE their stuff so it makes more of an impact on them.

 

[ogreenlee]

yes, i know kids got switches back in the day. i've had to get my own, as well. i just didn't think most folks did that today. i'm shocked when i see a kid get spanked in public b/c it just rarely happens.


i appreciate knowing that i'm not the only one who thought that was out-of-line, though. my kid never even came close to the lady with the wrapping paper. the lady was just going off on the fact that the child wasn't listening to me. my kid could be on the spectrum for all that lady knew. i still kind of wonder if she is or isn't, myself. she's very bright, but very tough. she was definitely not listening to the point where she was going to get in trouble, but i ended up way madder than i should have been b/c this lady butted in, whether she should have or not.

 

[Imzadi]

This lady scolding my kid in a mean way was not the way to go about it. She gave her this mean look and raised her voice.

I expect my children to show respect for any adult, but I don't really expect adult to start a confrontation with my child either.

Oh, I didn't reailze the old woman was that bad. I do think her heart was in the right place is sticking up for you though.

But yeah... my kid has issues with authority. It's her personality type, and I've had her in therapy, but apparently as she gets older she'll learn to control it better. God, I hope so.

She's six, but tenacious. I've called her "little Hillary" since she was a wee toddler. She won't give up.

The one good thing about having a personality that makes up her own mind is that she won't be easily swayed to docilely (sp?) go along with the crowd, if she realises what they are doing are wrong. Also, teen boys & later, men won't be able to get away with trying to get her to do stuff before she's ready.

 

[Jennasis]

I can't understand why you didn't just take the wrapping paper away from your kid? One time ignoring my mother's command would have been enough to get me a swat on the butt with the wrapping paper.

Of course, parenting styles vary.

I'm wondering if we can expect a new "Old person was mean to my kid" thread each week? It's a national epidemic!

 

[ogreenlee]

She definitely wasn't the picture of sweet ol' grandma. lol

If you're southern and was raised a little blue-collar like I was, then you'll know the type of grandmother she probably is. She's Me-Maw, wearin' her very oval glasses, bible in one hand, switch or cast iron cornbread pan in the other. Y'all know the type.

 

[mum4jenn]

Sounds to me like you need to stop making excuses for your Dd and try a different approach. If she is not listening to you at this age then whatever you are doing right now is not working. I am glad the other ladies spoke up...sounds like someone needed to.

 

[ogreenlee]

I can't understand why you didn't just take the wrapping paper away from your kid? One time ignoring my mother's command would have been enough to get me a swat on the butt with the wrapping paper.

Of course, parenting styles vary.

I'm wondering if we can expect a new "Old person was mean to my kid" thread each week? It's a national epidemic!

I'm good-spirited about it, and definitely not freaking out over it.

I did take the paper away from my kid when she finally came over my way. I was in a line. She was standing away from me, and was walking towards me. I was telling her to stop from a distance, and she was ignoring me as she was walking towards me. I was taking the paper away when the lady started yelling at my kid. It's not like Target. The aisles are kind of big and she was walking around. I typically don't have to worry about her b/c she doesn't like for me to be out of her sight, but she doesn't have to stand right beside me the whole time.