This marriage is doomed

[Disneefun]

http://www.newsobserver.com/2013/07/13/3026022/money-matters-wife-doesnt-want.html

Q. My husband and I have been married for a little more than one year, and he wants us to go on a budget. I think that is ridiculous, and I am very uncomfortable with keeping track of every little expense.

The only debts we have are $19,000 on a credit card and a car payment. The credit-card debt is justified because we had to buy some basic things to make our apartment feel like a married couple’s place versus a college hangout. We pay our rent and all of our other bills on time. We are also saving $50 a week toward a down payment to purchase a home.

I’ve agreed to write to you, and if you say we need to budget, I’ll try it for six months, but I hope you agree with me based on the facts provided that we are doing fine without one.

A. You’re uncomfortable with a budget, but your husband might be uncomfortable with $19,000 in credit-card debt. Disagreements over finances can put a big strain on a marriage; don’t let this happen to you....



It goes on to explain about budgets and some helpful resources, but I got hung on the 19K being "justified" to fix up the apartment. Really? How big is this place and what did they do? 19K on a credit card is never justified just to fix up a place so it looks better. Save up money and do a little at a time, for crying out loud.

If this is the way she thinks and she's so quick to dismiss budgeting, then I don't see this marriage lasting terribly long.

 

[purpledisneyprncess]

The marriage might not be doomed depending upon how easy going the husband is. My Dh said the guys he works with cant believe I stick to a budget and isn't an over spender. Their wives don't work but have no problem going out every day to the malls and stores and spending money just because its their hobby. What will for sure be doomed is their finances!!!! A budget doesn't have to restrict all spending but helps keep track so you don't over spend and end up in debt. It's very easy to spend more than you wanted to. Last night I went to an arcade with my kids and my brother. Easily I spent $50 and that was me being careful. My brother spent $120.

I wonder how old this lady is. Regardless, $19k in debt in a credit card is bad!!!

 

[luvmy3]

I took that $19,000 is their credit card and car loan. It sounds like they are pretty young and financially naive but I dont think that means their marriage is doomed. Hopefully they will work something out. I was that way once, when dh first got together but here we are almost 17 years later.

 

[manning]

$19,000 in debt? Wow!! Better get on that budget PDQ and start paying down that debt. Saving $50.00 for a down payment on a house? That's only $600 a year.

 

[wiigirl]

I took that $19,000 is their credit card and car loan. It sounds like they are pretty young and financially naive but I dont think that means their marriage is doomed. Hopefully they will work something out. I was that way once, when dh first got together but here we are almost 17 years later.

 

[ceecee]

$19,000 in debt? Wow!! Better get on that budget PDQ and start paying down that debt. Saving $50.00 for a down payment on a house? That's only $600 a year.

Young and naive, $50 a week would be $1100 a year, still may be awhile before they get a house. $19000 with a car loan may be they only spent a few thousand to get the apt the way they wanted it. Kids today want instant gratication and a lot don't want to work for it. DD's boyfriend told my mom he would be making 200,000 a year when he graduates (of course he is only 16 and clueless) we're all saying sign me up!

 

[cari12]

FYI- $50 per week is $2600 per year

 

[It'sWDW4me]

Even if they take that $50/week house down payment and redirect it to their $19,000 credit card debt, it would STILL take 7 years (at 0% interest, hahaha) to pay off that CC debt. I have a feeling this bride is a major over spender (thus the resistance to even trying a budget). Good luck to the groom.

 

[captainjen]

People always say that opposites attract ! They may not agree on finances, but they may really enjoy each others company and love each other deeply :0 I am going to betting that they may not agree on everything but with a little bit of luck they may share a long and happy life together ! And when things get tough maybe they make plans to visit Disney World and enjoy the magic

 

[ICF]

And when things get tough maybe they make plans to visit Disney World and enjoy the magic

and advise against that, unless they make a really big dent in that CC debt.

 

[disykat]

A lot of people consider debt justified if it's for something they want - like nicer things or vacations. Hopefully she agreed to go on a budget and they can stop going in to debt for wants and be able to save up for their home.

 

[ilovemk76]

I took that $19,000 is their credit card and car loan. It sounds like they are pretty young and financially naive but I dont think that means their marriage is doomed. Hopefully they will work something out. I was that way once, when dh first got together but here we are almost 17 years later.

"The only debts we have are $19,000 on a credit card and a car payment."

She said debts which would indicate that the first debt is the $19,000 on the CC and the other debt is the car loan (payment) of an unknown amount.

How many BBers does it take to figure out how much $50/week is in a year? 3

 

[GAN]

Don't know about anyone else, but if I woke up with 19k in debt ...I'd need to be on more than just a budget!

 

[ScottOKW2K]

Lets see - she has $19K in credit card debt. A quick Google search shows that the average consumer credit card rate is 17.06%, which would make her annual interest on that balance $3,241.40 per year.

And she is saving only $50/wk ( $2,600/yr. ) to purchase a home. So she is saving less annually for the house than she is paying in C/C interest. Something is definitely skewed here.

One other comment - most of the c/c debt was "needed" to outfit the apartment. If and when they are ever able to afford the house how much will be "needed" to outfit the home ?

 

[brertoad]

$19000 is a huge amount of CC debt, they must be paying only their minimum payments!!! I'm glad they passed that law that makes the cc company show the cost of the debt over the course of however many years using the minimum payment. People need a wake up call.

Honestly, they should be teaching money management in high school, it's WAY more practical than electives that are offered. The kids could help their parents with basic principles of how to manage money.

My dad gave me a credit card at 16 and told me the value of having good credit and building good credit, and that it's important to pay your bill completely every month.

Some people just don't get it, no one taught them, or they didn't learn on their own. At least the husband is trying! Better one of them isn't clueless.

It took many years for my DH to come around to my way of thinking. He always wanted things, big TV, wanted to spend more on the house, like a patio/screen room, etc. He would always make me feel bad about it. We did sacrifice a lot, and many of our friends and family had more or better than us, but the key point is that they lived with having lots of debt AND STILL DO. Sure, we could have it all too --- on credit cards or bigger bank loans, but how do you pay it all? The stress or cost of having debt is not worth it to me.

At least now, DH thinks we did the right thing. We are debt free, and have been for a few years.

 

[luvmy3]

"The only debts we have are $19,000 on a credit card and a car payment."

She said debts which would indicate that the first debt is the $19,000 on the CC and the other debt is the car loan (payment) of an unknown amount.

How many BBers does it take to figure out how much $50/week is in a year? 3

She didnt mention a total for the car loan so I took that to mean that their only debts area a credit card and car loan totaling $19,000. Not that it makes much difference to my opinion, I still dont think that their marriage is most certainly doomed. Couples do learn to work together and have very successful marriages even if they start off of different pages financially.

 

[darnheather]

When spouse and I got our first apartment together we spent $50 on a futon and a lounge chair at a thrift store. We knew what we could afford and stuck to that. I agree this lady is living in la-la land.

 

[reginaastralis]

While DF and I aren't technically married, we're pretty much the reverse of this couple. He's a spender, I'm the budgeter. (I'd say "saver" but there isn't a lot of money to actually save ) He never had to have a budget growing up, he was in a well to do family ... so every.single.day we have to have a talk about where our money is going, and how it got there. It's tedious, and slightly annoying, so I feel for the husband in this. It's hard to convert someone who's never had to worry.

And if it weren't for my constant nagging, I know we'd have a credit card with $19,000 on it. There are days when I don't want DF to even get to carry his debit card, because he'll spend something, and that's not fair to either of us. I wouldn't say the marriage is doomed, but I will say it'll require a lot of work on both of them for the financials to work themselves out.

 

[disykat]

I remember seeing a picture of my niece's apartment when she was in college. She was about 20, but already married and their place looked like an established couple's home. They had a nice couch, etc. that they had purchased brand new and were very proud of. The same niece is now on Facebook complaining about her student loan debt. It makes me want to scream.

I bought my first couch at 28 when I'd been out of school 7 years! I used hand me down or garage sale stuff for quite a few years because it just wasn't a budget priority and the idea of buying stuff like that on credit never even occurred to me. At the time, people in their 20's didn't really expect to "live like adults." At least not the ones I knew!

 

[seasheller]

This bride appears clueless on finances. $19,000 worth of debt on anything is way too much if you want to get ahead on anything. Budget by all means!! Give hubby credit for trying to figure things out. Do both husband and wife work?