One slightly larger aspect of this is the (obvious) fact that this couple never substantively discussed financial matters before they married.
I can't fathom someone trying to minimize $19K in credit card debt, which is how I read it. Not only is it being rationalized as normal and minimal, she's incensed at the notion she might have to be accountable for the money she spends. Really?
I feel sorry for the husband, except to the extent he didn't find this out before he married her. Potentially very tough sledding ahead, unfortunately.
See I totally disagree. Boy you guys really scare me.
Now first, yep the 19K is a huge bill but it can be paid off and has been done before and yep, they both have to change.
So here's my take.
First of all, my dh and I were total opposites in many areas of our lives including finances yet we some how muddle through
for 27 years before he died. We complimented each other and made each others weak areas stronger. For example my dh was a strong saver but could not shop worth a darn. His idea of bargain hunting would be to go into bloomingdales find a store associate, bring her to a manaquin and say "I want that outfit". I sent him to Macys one year to get a outfit for our then 3 year old, boy friend came back with a complete Ralph lauren outfit he seen in a magazine ad. FOR A TODDLER. I on the other hand can squeeze a dollar until George Washington screams "alright already". But I'm a poor saver. My dh God love 'em, would see some thing he want and would eat peanuts and water, 3X's a day to save for it.
Now I don't criticize folks because I'm no saint either. My dh and I did not rack up cc debt simply because when we grew up, no one really had easy access to credit. In the 60's maybe your mom had a sears card and of course ATM's were non existent. You had to keep track of your money because banks were closed on sat and sunday so you got paid on Friday and made sure you had enough to make it through to Monday. I don't think I got my first ATM card until well into college. I remember selling my old Rolling stones albums to get me through until my parents sent me some dough by snail mail.
Our first 5 years of marriage, we had a little saved but basically we spent what we made. we were young, had no children and we weren't thinking about what would happen when your 70 like you guys seem to do every second of the day. We were in our early 20's living in Manhattan. We thought about where we wanted to eat or go partying. Dh had a few student loans but nothing crazy. my parents paid for my college. We had our rent and daily living expenses but basically we acted like 20 some things which we were. as we got older our priorities changed and we changed with them. this young lady may very well get a wake up call and do well at it.
Today is a consumer economy, if we don't spend our entire system collapses so be careful what you ask for.
"talk about finances" LOL. sorry I can't remember any big "money" talk before I got married. we were into trying to get into each others pants **snickers***. Now we also did not save when we were young, we had jobs with pensions (I still do) so no one had this big fear of being poor in their old age. Your main thing was to get a good job with benefits.
I don't think this girl is any worse than many girls (yes I know every one here is uber smart and their kids never make any mistake, I'm talking bout in real life, which bears no resemblance to the dis emerald city world).
My main point is that financial lessons are taught. people get the habits they see and are taught from various sources. She can be taught new ones just like I learned about compounding interest, IRAs and budgeting.
Oh and on the spending side. I remodeling my kitchen and sunroom. The Viking stove alone is going to run almost 5K so 15K to remodel is not a ridiculous amount and I'm not getting new cabinets. just new appliances and counter tops.
