This is Bothering Me

[RUDisney]

On Saturday, DD and I went on a GS outing. Our troop has been together since Daisys and now we are Cadettes and Seniors, so... a long time.

One of the male leaders came up to me and told me he had a dream about me. I laughed and asked how I was murdered in his dream. That's NOT the kind of dream he had about me.

I am one who is never speechless and yet, I was left without speech.

He is married and his wife is a leader, too. I am happily married and not interested. Now, I understand that it's normal to have "dreams" about people, but WHY would you tell someone that you had a sex dream about them? I really don't think he means anything by telling me, but why do it? I don't want to be around him now, but I know I'll get over it.

Would you have responded in a way other than redirecting the conversation to something else like I did?

 

[hambirg]

No. . .I'm with you. I understand somebody might have a sex dream about somebody they didn't realize they would. . . . BUT why on earth would you tell that person unless you just wanted to really creep them out?!


PS. . .next time you see him. . .tell him you had a dream about him too. . .one where your DH shot him.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I would've been speechless too. Later, I would think of something like: "What did your wife think of the dream?".

It is strange he would tell you about it. Kind of creepy. I would be avoiding him too.

 

[SandrA9810]

That would make me a little creeped out too. I wouldn't tell some one else a dream like that, although the dream itself might creep me out too.

 

[mumom95]

Yeah, that's a little weird. Not about having the dream, but about telling you.

I'm not so sure he didn't tell you to see what your reaction would be. I know way too many people that cheat on their spouses, and many of them are people you would never suspect. I don't know the man, so I have no idea, but the only reason I can see for telling someone would be to see if they give the kind of reaction that shows they were interested.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

I guess it depends on how close I am to the other person.

I have some friendships that I know it wouldn't bother them (or their spouse) to know I had a dream like that and they would think it was funny. Same thing if they were the ones who had a dream about me.

However, my daughters GS leader probably doesn't fall into this category but we have only been with this troop for a year.

 

[Buckalew11]

Yeah, that's a little weird. Not about having the dream, but about telling you.

I'm not so sure he didn't tell you to see what your reaction would be. I know way too many people that cheat on their spouses, and many of them are people you would never suspect. I don't know the man, so I have no idea, but the only reason I can see for telling someone would be to see if they give the kind of reaction that shows they were interested.

This.

I'd halfway believe it wasn't even a dream and more of a fantasy. Then he told you to see your reaction. I had a man tell me that while I was cutting his hair. how awkward. I *kicked* him out and told him to find someone else to cut his hair.

 

[Magic Mom]

awkwaaaard! Did he tell you details?? Is there any chance you misunderstood what kind of dream it was?

Maybe he's one of those socially weird, open book sort of people. You know the people that need to talk about every little aspect of their lives....

 

[mom22belles]

I can't get over the fact you have a male Girl Scout leader , in Canada we are not allowed to have male leaders.

As to the coment ... I can only hope he wasn't saying this in front of the girls.

 

[disneybound2010]

I had this happen to me. The man was my DH's now EX FRIEND(well, DH's friend first rather). We were close with the man and his wife and were even asked to be the godparents to his son. It was nothing for us to be over at their house on a regular basis, together or alone. I stopped by one day on my way to work to check on the new baby and Dad(he was a SAHD) and that was when he told me about his "dream." I got weirded out as it wasn't something I expected to hear and I felt we all had a pretty good relationship and this just made it awkward. It became more awkward when he told me he wanted to act out his dream I immediately told DH what had happened and he was less than thrilled to say the least. We haven't had anything to do with them since.

An interesting twist...DH was on the state's sex offender list. Guess who he found?! He was completely mortified that he had never known that about this man and was even more disgusted that he had ever trusted him enough to let him into our lives.

 

[RUDisney]

No. . .I'm with you. I understand somebody might have a sex dream about somebody they didn't realize they would. . . . BUT why on earth would you tell that person unless you just wanted to really creep them out?!


PS. . .next time you see him. . .tell him you had a dream about him too. . .one where your DH shot him.

That is a great comeback if he mentions it again.

Yeah, that's a little weird. Not about having the dream, but about telling you.

I'm not so sure he didn't tell you to see what your reaction would be. I know way too many people that cheat on their spouses, and many of them are people you would never suspect. I don't know the man, so I have no idea, but the only reason I can see for telling someone would be to see if they give the kind of reaction that shows they were interested.

That's what I was worried about. I know that he and his wife have been having issues lately, but aren't ready to consider divorce yet. I was wondering if he was keeping his options open if it comes to that. But, why pick someone who is in a good relationship and happy? Maybe just because I'm accessible to him at GS meetings?

awkwaaaard! Did he tell you details?? Is there any chance you misunderstood what kind of dream it was?

Maybe he's one of those socially weird, open book sort of people. You know the people that need to talk about every little aspect of their lives....

He told me that I answered the door in a see-thru, sequinned blouse. I stopped him there by changing the subject. I didn't need to know anymore.

I can't get over the fact you have a male Girl Scout leader , in Canada we are not allowed to have male leaders.

As to the coment ... I can only hope he wasn't saying this in front of the girls.

At least he didn't say it in front of the girls.

We actually have two male leaders in our troop and eight leaders total. The only rule is that no male leader can be alone with a girl. For instance, if one is going to drive a girl home, there needs to be a couple of girls in the car or a female leader with them.

The man in question is a great leader and father. I never had anything but the utmost respect for him.... until Saturday.

Funny thing is that when I started telling my DH about what happened, he didn't want to know who said it. I guess he didn't want to be in a situation where he knowingly had to be with the person who said it. Though, DH did find it creepy, too.

 

[tonilea]

I would have been shocked too! I would like to say I would have laughed and said "I bet it turned into a nightmare when *insert wife's name here* found out!" But I never think of things to say until later. Then I would make it a point to never be alone with him.

 

[Magic Mom]

Since when do they have MALE leaders in the Girl scouts?

No way my DD would go camping with a man

Why? Would you let your son go camping with a woman?


Men can be co-leaders.

 

[Magic Mom]

Well since the male leader in question was having a sexual fantasy dream about one of the mothers-i rest my case.

I don't see what that has to do with a background checked male camping with girl scouts.

 

[sparklynails23]

Well since the male leader in question was having a sexual fantasy dream about one of the mothers-i rest my case.

I agree. You don't know the depth of his weirdness and sexual fantasies. I'd keep my kids away from him.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

If someone told me that it would creep me out too. I would stay away from him. Honestly, I believe that he was trying to see what you thought about it. He may have been testing the water with you.

 

[RUDisney]

We're not a camping type of troop and we've never been on an overnight with the exception of the night out at the mall with about 1,000 girls and leaders when everyone but me stayed up all night. Around 3:00 a.m., I found a comfortable chair in the food court and fell asleep.

The male leader never left the crowded food court so no one would accuse him of going into a dark corner with a girl.

 

[Rora]

That's awkward..

I understand dreams like this happen but I think that it is strange someone would tell the person they dreamed about what they dreamed about!!

It's creepy and I'd definitely feel awkward around him, but I'd just not say anything and try to play normal.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Okay - male perspective - he told you because he wants to act on his fantasy/dream. He would not have told you otherwise. IMO, if he ever mentions this again, you need to treat him like a man who is propositioning you - because he is.

If he drops it and acts like a gentleman from this point forward, let it go. He may just be lonely since he is having problems in his marriage. That is probably why your husband doesn't want to know his name. To give him a "second" chance.

 

[RUDisney]

Okay - male perspective - he told you because he wants to act on his fantasy/dream. He would not have told you otherwise. IMO, if he ever mentions this again, you need to treat him like a man who is propositioning you - because he is.

If he drops it and acts like a gentleman from this point forward, let it go. He may just be lonely since he is having problems in his marriage. That is probably why your husband doesn't want to know his name. To give him a "second" chance.

Thank you for your male perspective and for confirming what I thought.