Third grade girls - oh the drama!

[mickeyboat]

Can anyone sympathize?

I have two third grade girls this year and at any given moment one or the other (sometimes both) has some friend drama happening.

I know that it is normal at this age. I know the best thing to do is to stay out of it, but with the clubs and the snubs and the "you aren't my friend anymores," I am exhausted.

To top it all off I am a Girl Scout co-leader, so I see all these girls outside of school, too, and I am friendly with all their mothers. It is really hard when your daughter is having trouble with your friend's daughter.

I need wine!

 

[Lstar311]

I can sympathize, I was a 3rd grade teacher for 5 years. Just don't take sides and try to give unbiased opinions because todays enemy will be tomorrow BFF!

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

OMG!!! I am so totally with you. I have a third grade girl and it is horrible!!! And the worst part, she's being picked on because she's nice. Seriously, 2 girls asked her why she had to be nice all the time and why she had to follow the school rules. And its a VERY small Catholic school. There are only 6 girls in the entire 3rd grade. The one she has a problem with curses worse than most adults I know. She has dropped the f-bomb at school.

One of the girls that picked on her the other day actually got called on the carpet by the Music teacher who witnessed it!! And my DD is so nice that she felt bad for her "friend" getting yelled at. My DD is too nice. When she told me I cheered on the Music teacher and then had to explain to DD why her friend being reprimanded for her behavior was a good thing.

And I'm the GS leader too! Some of these kids I'd like to drop kick into the next town. Are we allowed to say that???

 

[cabanafrau]

Amen!!! I'll lift a glass (or two) with you!

I just had a discussion this morning about a particular family whose daughters specialize in basic mean girl behavior, in open view of their parents who find no fault with it. The ironic & unbelievable twist is when the mother comes to you, mother of a daughter openly ostracized by her oldest princess in elementary school, to complain princess is having difficulty in HS w/ mean girls, which began for her in the middle school years. Mom can't understand how my DD has none, absolutely none of that drama going on at all. The real gotcha is when the younger princess is part of the same type of group who show no mercy to anyone, including my younger DD, and mom and dad turn a blind eye once again.

Older DD has told younger DD to hang on because there will be lots of new friends to be made in middle school who would rather do something fun than spend their days being nasty and mean.

 

[KAMLEM]

OMG!!! I am so totally with you. I have a third grade girl and it is horrible!!! And the worst part, she's being picked on because she's nice.

It doesn't get better any time soon. I have a 7th grader whose friends are giving her a hard time because she's nice to too many people. The "barbie group" thinks that she should be friends with them only, but she has friends in every "clique" and doesn't want to do that. Fun stuff.

 

[MarksMom2006]

It doesn't get better any time soon. I have a 7th grader whose friends are giving her a hard time because she's nice to too many people. The "barbie group" thinks that she should be friends with them only, but she has friends in every "clique" and doesn't want to do that. Fun stuff.

Im not having any problems with kids in grade 3, but this post brought back a memory from about 7th grade. I remember standing outside at recess in between two groups...my friends that I had been friends with ... and the "popular girls". The popular girls said to me..."Go on ... tell them" so I told my friends that I didn't want to be friends with them anymore. So stupid now that I think about it. And of course, the following week, the popular girls and I didn't want to hang around...but my real friends took me back into our little group. The drama!

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

It doesn't get better any time soon. I have a 7th grader whose friends are giving her a hard time because she's nice to too many people. The "barbie group" thinks that she should be friends with them only, but she has friends in every "clique" and doesn't want to do that. Fun stuff.

Great! Good news! Now pass the bottle.

 

[freckles and boo]

You have my sympathy. My older daughter is a third-grader. We only have one on-going bit of drama, but because it involves the alpha child next door I anticipate it will be on-going for the next nine years.

 

[tchrrx]

3rd grade teacher here- I was just checking to see whether or not you were one of my parents. 3rd grade girls have mood swings like no one else on earth.

 

[mickeyboat]

Thanks guys. It is good to know I am not alone.

DD8 has been best friends with at least 3 people already this year. She has been in the recess club, out of the recess club, and called on the carpet by her mother for excluding a particular child. She has been friends at the same time with two girls who don't get along, and has taken sides with one of them against the other, too.

DD9 kinda has her head in the clouds about the social issues. I worry that she will be picked on. But she does have a best friend and doesn't complain, so maybe she will skip the drama - wishful thinking, I know. But she is the one with the mood swings. I think it might be a 9 year old version of PMS.

I have gone from wanting to know every detail of what's going on and trying to micromanage their behavior and relationships to not wanting to know anything and keeping my nose out of it all. It really started stressing me out until I realized that they really need to figure it all out on their own.

American Girl has some new books about friendships and bullying and feelings, ad the girls will be getting a couple of them in their Easter baskets. Hopefully they will help so that I can feel o.k. about staying out of it.

I am drinking a glass of wine now, and I will pass the bottle.

 

[JVL1018]

Wow, my daughter is in 3rd grade and she has had no problems at all so far since starting school---(not because of her specifically! I am not at all saying my child is perfect and that's why there has been no issues LOL)-I have asked more than once and she said there is absolutely no bullying, no drama, no kids being really mean to each other with anyone at all, not just in relation to her.
It baffles me, to be honest. I keep hearing all this stuff and its seems to have skipped her school so far.
I am afraid of middle school, because I know this won't last.

 

[mamacatnv]

Mom to a 4th grader. The following book is going into my DD's Easter Basket

Smart Girls Guide to Friendship Troubles - The American Girl Library
http://www.amazon.com/Smart-Girls-Guide-Friendship-Troubles/dp/1584857110

My DD tends to be a follower but she is super sensitive to others, so we have been having lots of discussion about "playing nice" there are 15 girls and 3 boys in her 4th grade class.

I have a new theory (I am sure it is not original, it is just new to me): Boys are stupid, Girls are mean.
Between my son and the stuff he put up with from his former girlfriend (oh thank goodness he finally saw the light) and the antics going on in DD's 4th grade, this theory of mine explains a lot

 

[KAMLEM]

Wow, my daughter is in 3rd grade and she has had no problems at all so far since starting school---(not because of her specifically! I am not at all saying my child is perfect and that's why there has been no issues LOL)-I have asked more than once and she said there is absolutely no bullying, no drama, no kids being really mean to each other with anyone at all, not just in relation to her.
It baffles me, to be honest. I keep hearing all this stuff and its seems to have skipped her school so far.
I am afraid of middle school, because I know this won't last.

I have a 15 year old freshman who went through none of this. The kids in her class just seem different for some reason. It seems like they are all friends and there just aren't the typical cliques, I'm not sure why. Unfortunately it's not the same with my 7th grader! My girls are very different, too. My older one is one of the most easy going, laid back kids you'll find. My younger one, however, is just like me. Let's just say I'm the opposite of easy going and laid back!

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Mom to a 4th grader. The following book is going into my DD's Easter Basket

Smart Girls Guide to Friendship Troubles - The American Girl Library
http://www.amazon.com/Smart-Girls-Guide-Friendship-Troubles/dp/1584857110

My DD tends to be a follower but she is super sensitive to others, so we have been having lots of discussion about "playing nice" there are 15 girls and 3 boys in her 4th grade class.

I have a new theory (I am sure it is not original, it is just new to me): Boys are stupid, Girls are mean.
Between my son and the stuff he put up with from his former girlfriend (oh thank goodness he finally saw the light) and the antics going on in DD's 4th grade, this theory of mine explains a lot

Thanks for that book. I work a block from the AG store. I think I need to take a walk there tomorrow to find that book.

 

[mickeyboat]

Thanks for that book. I work a block from the AG store. I think I need to take a walk there tomorrow to find that book.

Our CVS has a display near the pharmacy with that book and several others by AG.

 

[Metsfan520]

Borders has a section of AG books too.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

Great! Good news! Now pass the bottle.

I'll have some.....

I hate to say it, but I have one that is a sophomore, and she is still dealing with the drama. I also have one in the 5th grade and oh my goodness, I didn't know that they had it in them.

 

[mamacatnv]

Thanks for that book. I work a block from the AG store. I think I need to take a walk there tomorrow to find that book.

Our CVS has a display near the pharmacy with that book and several others by AG.

Borders has a section of AG books too.

I got mine at Barnes & Noble along with The Care and Keeping of Me, also American Girl Library.

1st-3rd grade was a breeze, this 4th grade class is something else. I hope they split them up going into 5th grade. When DD was in K, there was a littel girl who was just nasty, manipulative and mean. I was so shocked that it could start so young and this was our first introduction since DD had never been in preschool. Then I met her Mother.............explained so much

 

[EMom]

I got mine at Barnes & Noble along with The Care and Keeping of Me, also American Girl Library.

1st-3rd grade was a breeze, this 4th grade class is something else. I hope they split them up going into 5th grade. When DD was in K, there was a littel girl who was just nasty, manipulative and mean. I was so shocked that it could start so young and this was our first introduction since DD had never been in preschool. Then I met her Mother.............explained so much

I posted a while ago about some drama involving a girl DD is friends with. (all 3rd graders) The girl says things like, "You don't know how horrible my life is....My parents hate me.....My mother treats me like I'm an idiot" etc. (She shouldn't have said that last one, because one snippy little 1st grader piped up, "Maybe it's because you ARE an idiot." I told DD to stay on that kid's good side because she's not one you want to cross.)

Anyway, DD was invited to this girl's bday party, so we went. It was the sort that I could stay, and I did, given some of the past drama. I wanted to keep an eye on the interaction. The mom mentioned, after being asked, that the entire class (22 kids?) had been invited, plus some neighborhood kids, plus some kids she's on a sports team with, as well as some who are in different classes at her school. DD is in that last group. Maybe 6 kids showed up and none were from her class. That seemed to give credence to something DD had said about the little girl not having any friends in her own class because she was so mean to them. So over 40 kids were invited and 6 came.

But I really wanted to figure out the parents and whether anything this kid was saying was remotely true regarding them. I swear, a nicer, more welcoming family could not have been found. The parents, even though they are rolling in money, were as friendly as could be and not snobby at all. They had extended family there and every single one of them was friendly and polite. I watched them interact with their other kids and everything seemed just fine. Usually before a party is over, if the parents have attitude, around here you will pick up on it. Nothing! So in this case, I don't think it's a matter of the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, although that often DOES explain a great deal.

I left the party wondering if that mother has any idea what the girl goes around telling people about her. I felt very bad for her by the time it was all said and done.

 

[Teacher03]

3rd grade teacher here- I was just checking to see whether or not you were one of my parents. 3rd grade girls have mood swings like no one else on earth.

Another third grade teacher....you are so right. This year has been especially dramatic! How many days before summer?