Thinking of leaving one child behind....

[HALEYSMOMMOM]

I'm a SAHM too and I wouldn't dream of leaving any of my children behind for a trip to WDW. It wouldn't feel right and it just wouldn't happen. Our younger DD started her Disney trips at age 1 and my older DD started hers at age 2. They were magical trips.

I could possibly be convinced to leave my children (both of them) behind when they get a bit older to go to a non-family type place but not Disney.

I also could never leave one child behind on a family vacation and bring another. Just couldn't do it.

To each their own.

I also am a SAHM and I totally agree with you. This is something I'm very passionate about. I don't see my children as a job, or something I need to get away from. I truly enjoy being with them all of the time. An occasional bubble bath is nice though.........

Just glad to see someone else has my point of view.

 

[beattyfamily]

I also am a SAHM and I totally agree with you. This is something I'm very passionate about. I don't see my children as a job, or something I need to get away from. I truly enjoy being with them all of the time. An occasional bubble bath is nice though.........

Just glad to see someone else has my point of view.

Thank you for posting that. It's great to see another SAHM who feels the way I do too!!

 

[Mainebound]

I would never leave one of my kids behind on a trip to WDW, and you don't have to be a SAHM to feel that way (I work full time and always have).

We first went to WDW as a family when my younger son was 14 months and he enjoyed it more than the rest of us combined.

I am trying not to criticize, but the tone of the OP -- "he would slow us down" really rubbed me the wrong way. Why doesn't the "us" include all the memebrs of the family, even the little and slow ones????

 

[HALEYSMOMMOM]

I am trying not to criticize, but the tone of the OP -- "he would slow us down" really rubbed me the wrong way. Why doesn't the "us" include all the memebrs of the family, even the little and slow ones????

I also am not criticizing, but this also really bothers me. I even had to get off the computer and go ask my husband if I was crazy for letting it get to me. (He said NO )

I know that we're all different though...........

I just tend to be a bit extreme the other way. I ALWAYS want to be with my kids. It's very hard for me to leave them. I must be doing something right though. DD5 is a very well adjusted and INDEPENDANT little girl And DS1 is as good natured a kid as you're going to find.

Everyone's family dynamics are different.

 

[Madi100]

I also am not criticizing, but this also really bothers me. I even had to get off the computer and go ask my husband if I was crazy for letting it get to me. (He said NO )

I know that we're all different though...........

I just tend to be a bit extreme the other way. I ALWAYS want to be with my kids. It's very hard for me to leave them. I must be doing something right though. DD5 is a very well adjusted and INDEPENDANT little girl And DS1 is as good natured a kid as you're going to find.

Everyone's family dynamics are different.

It is amazing how different we all are. I think it's neat that you look at your children that way. I truly love my children, don't get me wrong, between them and my husband they are the most important things in my life. But, I do like to have a break from my children. I am not one of those people that will be absolutely lost when my children leave home for good.

I used to work in a daycare center. I started in the 3's room. Moved to the infant room, and then I was the unit leader in the school age room. My least favorite? The baby room. I love babies. They are perfect little miracles, but to sit with them all day long was not enjoyable to me. My favorite was the school age children. I loved the teach them and to listen to them. I loved that I could really influence who they were in life. But, some people really don't enjoy that part of the daycare.

So, when it comes to a vacation and having to "slow down" I would much rather listen to silly little school agers act goofy than to have to haul a stroller all over the place and stop to change diapers or stop for feedings.

 

[devotedchristian]

I say bring him with - you will just have to adjust your trip a bit but it will be worth it to have all the family together. You said he won't be scarred for life because he won't remember it? What about the photos you are going to take? When he is bigger he will try to understand why you didn't take him. When I was 18 my parents left me at home (at my urging) and took my younger brothers (16 & 14) to Palm Desert CA. It still bothers me when I see those photos of them having a vacation without me, even though it was my idea.

Take your little one with you our 18 month old LOVED it- trust me, you won't regret it.

beth, first of all, I come in peace . You are not a bad parent whatever you decide. I only have 1 child but I was trying to put myself in your shoes. But Cindy's Mom made a good point and made me think.

A family scene came in together in mind:

Everyone is in the family room laughing : , talking, joking, and someone says "remember the time we were at Disney and DS was happy to see Mickey?"

My point is, everyone else will be *remembering* except the one who was left behind. Sure he can't say "I remember such and such" but you or DH could share with your (18month) "and honey you looked so cute in your Mickey suit" or whatever.

I am coming *from the future perspective* and I am NOT saying you would be a bad parent if you choose NOT to bring your 18month old.

 

[tink2]

Everyone is different and every family is different. I personally wouldn't leave him home. It wouldn't 'feel' right to me- both ds and dd have been going to WDW since 6 months old and we have such wonderful memories of those trips- they loved it!!! However, I am not you and you need to do what you 'feel' is right. If you really want a special trip for just your ds- then I say go and enjoy it. If you want a family trip with everyone, bring him along. There is no right or wrong here. However, if you would spend the trip feeling guilty, I would rethink the decision to leave him. You certainly don't want to spend you whole vacation of special time with your older ds feeling guilty about younger ds. Either way, have a magical trip! Do what you feel in your heart is right for YOUR family.

 

[minkydog]

We have a saying in our family that applies whenever we see or hear people with an inflexible posture on something--"They just don't have enough handicapped folks in their life." I know, sounds kinda harsh. What it means is that when you share your life with people who have special needs, you have to be very flexible. The old rules don't apply anymore. By virture of living with our first child, we learned that all kids don't act the same or learn the same. We bagan to think outside teh box. When we lost our second one, we learned that things can turn out badly through no fault of our own. When we had our last child we learned that hard work brings rewards & doctors don't know everything. Lately, with my husbands devastating premature heart disease we have learned that life in the "slow lane" is still a great life. "Normal" is an illusion; we are all more resilient than we know.

I didn't mean to hijack this thread, but I think there is room in this world for us to support each other's decisions. Each of us can be great parents, whether we stay with our kids 24/7 or whether we choose to be separate sometimes. Flexibility is important, whether you're talking about exercise or parenting. There is no superior answer here.

Off my soapbox now
Cathy--still waiting for my parenting medals

 

[jeanelain]

For our first disney trip, I left my 10 month old home and took my almost 4 year old dd. I also went thru the whole dilemna of whether to take both, but in the end decided that it would be less hectic and we would go again in the future and bring her along too. it ended up being a good decision for us. We had a lot of one on one time with our oldest and were able to do what she wanted without worrying about all the stuff that goes along with traveling with an infant. she was happy as a clam at home with her grandmother. Her older sister picked out souveniers to bring back to her sister. I did feel a tinge of guilt here and there, but we did go back again with both of them and my youngest is aware that her oldest sister went first without her and it doesn't seem to bother her.

 

[Beth76]

For our first disney trip, I left my 10 month old home and took my almost 4 year old dd. it ended up being a good decision for us. We had a lot of one on one time with our oldest and were able to do what she wanted without worrying about all the stuff that goes along with traveling with an infant. Her older sister picked out souveniers to bring back to her sister. I did feel a tinge of guilt here and there, but we did go back again with both of them and my youngest is aware that her oldest sister went first without her and it doesn't seem to bother her.

Thank you. We pretty much have decided to leave him behind. I think it's the best decision for us too. And I will totally, have the older one pick out souvineers for him. We will also go back with the younger one at some point.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Beth, I forgot to mention the "detoxification period" that you will have to go through with your son once he has been spoiled silly at Grandma's house.

beattyfamily, your daughter has the most beautiful auburn hair that I have ever seen on a child.

Lori

 

[beattyfamily]

beattyfamily, your daughter has the most beautiful auburn hair that I have ever seen on a child.

Lori

Thank you so much for that!!! It's really very sweet of you to mention it!

 

[tasassy]

Hi, I just thought I would relate our experience. When our son was 6 months old, my husband had to go to school in another state (military), he knew from the first day, that Dad was gone. He was used to being at the sitter for 15 min to an hour. I got off work at 1130 and he had just gone to sleep. He wouldn't let go of me, until his Dad got home. In fact he would grab hold of my nightgown in his little fist and put his fist in his mouth. Then when he was 14 months old, DH had to go to Kosovo, for 4 months. When he came back our son, wouldn't have anything to do with him, for a good few months. So as to the statement, he won't know your gone, I have to disagree. Now that I've said that, we finally left our son for a few nights when he was 3, it was my first vacation, and as much as I love our son, it felt so good!

 

[java]

Well I am in the take the toddler camp. I can't imagine 5 years from now when your DS is 10 and mentions to his brother- Hey when you were a baby I went to Disney without you. We left you home. Not that that will happen- but imagine a 5 year old hearing he was left behind as a toddler. And my 2 year old is so excited about going . He watches the video and just says PLEASE over and over. And when I say Yes we are going He says Thank you Mama and gives me a kiss. I think it will be easy to do with little ones. I'll have 4 when we go. 11,7,2, and a 4 month old. It is a family trip for us- one goes we all go. But that works for us. If you really think it would be better without him then do what you need to do. I think though if you are feeling guilty now, imagine when you are seeing all the little ones at Disney.

 

[lovesdumbo]

I've just got to say that I think it is so wonderful that you have someone you can leave your DS with. I don't think everyone has that-I know I don't. My DH & I are both the youngests in our families and we were older when we had kids. My children have 2 grandmothers (no grandfathers) that are in their 70's and 80's. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving any of my children with either for an extended period of time and my siblings are too far away/too busy with their own kids to take on any of mine. I think its great that you do have a wonderful place for him to be.

You will have a very magical trip with your older DS.

 

[nygrl]

Hi, I just thought I would relate our experience. When our son was 6 months old, my husband had to go to school in another state (military), he knew from the first day, that Dad was gone. He was used to being at the sitter for 15 min to an hour. I got off work at 1130 and he had just gone to sleep. He wouldn't let go of me, until his Dad got home. In fact he would grab hold of my nightgown in his little fist and put his fist in his mouth. Then when he was 14 months old, DH had to go to Kosovo, for 4 months. When he came back our son, wouldn't have anything to do with him, for a good few months. So as to the statement, he won't know your gone, I have to disagree. Now that I've said that, we finally left our son for a few nights when he was 3, it was my first vacation, and as much as I love our son, it felt so good!

I think what everyone is trying to say is not that they wont know your gone(allthough i find it hard to believe a 6 month old would) but that in a few years he wont ever remember that you went or remember disney for that matter . my now almost 4 year old barly remembers what happened last week lol.the point is to have a fun well deserved vacation without feeling guilt because the little one wont ever remember that anyone went without him! and also you are talking about leaving for months not a week!

 

[Madi100]

Thank you so much for that!!! It's really very sweet of you to mention it!

I agree on the hair part I hope my little redhead has hair like that when she is older.

_____________________

To all. My daughter got left home when she was 16 months or so, and she doesn't remember it. She got so spoiled at Grandma's house. She is now 4. I just asked her. She doesn't remember. She is too excited about the trip that is coming up and the one that she went on last January. I think most of us here are not one time WDW visitors. We take multi-trips. Our first one was with no kids. Second was with one, and the last one was with both and grandparents. This one is with just the four of us. We've gone on trips to Chicago where we take the kids, don't take them. One trip was with Grandma, and she took just the older daughter. I don't see how Disney is any different.

 

[beattyfamily]

I agree on the hair part I hope my little redhead has hair like that when she is older.

 

[LisaNJ25]

Have a great Trip!! It will not make you a bad parent. I took my than 8yo son to Disneyland, Just him and I for a Solo trip. My daughter was 1. I am planning on taking my daughter on a solo trip to Disney works next December. She will be 7. My son will be 14 than. I will also be leaving him a 2 yo and a 1yo.

Hubby and I decided it will be awhile before are soon to be family of 6 will be able to afford to go together.

I look at is a it will be some special mom and daughter time.

 

[chrisann]

We were going for our older son's 5th bday. Our younger son was 18 months old but wasn't a very pleasant baby, my hubby was not looking forward to it at all if we brought the baby, I was very adament that he had to come though. Needless to say, we were very surprised! He was awesome, we stayed at the parks all day and when he was tired he just fell asleep in the stroller. There was so much to look at and so much going on, that he was great. Our 5 year old on the other hand had a few meltdowns, go figure! My advice is go for it, he may not remember it but you'll remember him seeing Mickey for the first time or the fireworks as well. Whatever you decide , have fun!