thinking no thanksgiving w/family

[crazy4disney01]

We met with my parents and my brothers family last weekend. I have a 3 y/o DD and my brother has a 1 y/o DD. My mom was really lopsided with her affections, she huggedmy niece and had her sit on her lap the whole time, also read a book to my niece and never invited my DD to look on. When my SIL asked my DD to come and sit and look at the book with my mom, my mom never even looked up or acknowledged my DD like encouraging her to come over there. It was always "oh look how cute she is" about my niece and never really said a whole lot to my DD.

I don't want my DD to feel ignored. I can't tell my mom how I feel cause they think they are perfect and can do no wrong. Too they help us in many ways and I don't want to cause hurtful feelings, I just want to protect my DD. We don't get together w/ my brother often but I just want some attention for my DD so she doesn't feel left out. So, I am thinking about having Thanksgiving w/ my DH family where she will have more fun and attention.

What would you do?

Thanks for posting in advance!!!

C

 

[momof2inPA]

It's only natural to heap more attention on the "baby," but one should always make the effort to not leave the older kids out, and your mom didn't do that. I bet it was just an oversight, not intentional. Be the adult and call your mom. Try to discuss it with her in a non-confrontational way, like, "DD was having a tough time not being the baby of the family anymore. She loves you so much and is used to getting all your attention." Really, I'm sure you can patch this up before the holidays. It's worth a shot.

 

[ChristmasElf]

My mother does this as well with my brothers girls. He did not desert her and move away so naturally she is closer to his kids.Okay fine I understand that, but do not treat my dd like she is just some stranger you don't know.
We do the holidays by ourselves. Much less stressful that way. She calls me now and says "How come you never call me"? She is clueless.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

they help us in many ways and I don't want to cause hurtful feelings, I just want to protect my DD. We don't get together w/ my brother often but I just want some attention for my DD so she doesn't feel left out.
What would you do?

#1...Stop accepting help from them so you feel "debted" to not speak up. Bad position to have yourself in.

#2....Speak up next time or get involved. Observe what your mom says or does. On the good side, she might surprise you!!! However, best to find out now how jerky they are. The longer you put it off the longer you go on feeling bad. Also who wants their kid around a jerky parent.

#3....If you will enjoy the holidays with DH's family, go there. The cool thing about being grown up is you get to decide. It is hard sometimes to figure which is the right thing to do, but your "gut" will point you in the right direction.

So trust your instincts!