Things that only happen on soap operas

[Tinkermommy]

Inspired by the movie thread.

So just got my nails done and they had "All my Children" on the TV. I haven't watched soap operas since high school but they don't seem to have changed.

Things that only happen on soap operas . . .

- At some point every character is in a coma
- Men talk about their feelings way more than in real life
- People have evil twins
- A woman will miscarry if she trips on a sidewalk
- People are always falling down stairs which results in serious injury (see first bullet)
- No matter what someone dies from there is always the possibility they may come back in a few years

Please add your own observations!

 

[DebbieB]

People come back from the dead. No wonder I have dreams that my mom returned (see died 5 years ago).

 

[EMom]

People frequently use the term "every fiber of my being." I've never heard an actual human use that term.

Children are routinely SORASed. Why the rest of us can't send 4 year olds away and have them come back a year later as perky teens is beyond me. And why we can't ship them off to boarding school shortly thereafter, only to have them return in a year or two as a doctor or an award winning author is a mystery as well. If life was like a soap, I'd be a 30 y.o. stunning mother with a 27 y.o. child.

 

[PebblesMK]

Sequins...sequins and diamonds are necessary for every occasion. Going to the grocery store, put on your ballgown. Have to see your boyfriend (the one you're cheating on your REAL boyfriend with) who is in a coma, put on your harry winston diamond tiara.

 

[SiAmCrAzY]

-No one works- yet they always have tons of money
-Baby theft/swap seems to happen on a daily basis
-And Children grow and age at an extremly rapid rate- one episode they are a newborn and the next they are in middle school?
-Love triangles involving sisters or brothers
-people are criminally insane one minute and completely normal the next

 

[Disney Doll]

- The women are never in sweatpants cleaning when the husband comes home. They are always perfectly dressed and coiffed for a fabulous evening out.
- A last minute invitation to a formal affair doesn't faze the women at all because they happen to have the perfect formal eveningwear right in their closet, all ready to go.
- The men never sweat, unless it's to show how hard they have been working to save some damsel in distress.

 

[SiAmCrAzY]

let's not forget AMNESIA!!! It's an epidemic!

 

[daughtersrus]

They never put the side rails up on the hospital bed even if they're just coming out of surgery.

The women wake up with perfect makeup and hair.

There's always fresh cookies in the kitchen when the nanny needs to get the kids out of the scene.

 

[C.Ann]

All head injuries are "subdural hematomas" - and the next 24 to 48 hours are "critical"..

There is only 1 restaurant in each town..

There is only 1 coffee house in each town..

There is only 1 bar in each town..

People drink alcohol every single day..

Women are of child bearing age (p.g. from a one-night flings) even when they already have children that have children of their own..

Any housewife - with no education or experience - can decide to go to work and become CEO of a multi-billion dollar company her first day on the job..

Babies are rarely born in hospitals - instead they are born in cars; in front of fireplaces in remote cabins; on deserted islands; in elevators; by the side of the roads; - and the husband is always there to deliver the child (which 2 years later turns out not to be his anyhow)..

 

[SC Minnie]

all the men and women on the show have been with one another

they go to bed with full make up and even wake with with lipstick and glass perfect

People rarely stay married more than 2 months

it only takes about 6 months to go through medical school or to become a lawyer

 

[C.Ann]

Cancer is cured in a month..

Organs for transplant needs are bountiful..

Everyone has at least one child out there "somewhere" that they didn't know about..

Ex-wives often end up having affairs with the teenage sons of their ex-husbands new wives.. Ditto for ex-husbands and the teenage daughters..

People have time to drop in and visit other people for hours and hours before they have to arrive at work..

No one is ever really dead - even when there's a body in the open coffin and you watch them being buried..

No one with money is ever loved just because they're loveable - the rest of the family will insist it's "for the money"..

Baby switching is so common it's amazing that every single person in town isn't blood related..

Eventually, everyone in town is arrested at least once - and usually for murder..

 

[disneybound2010]

Characters that go to the attic will never be heard from again...

 

[SC Minnie]

Cancer is cured in a month..

Eventually, everyone in town is arrested at least once - and usually for murder..

And they never go to prison for very long. May a month or so. Then are miraculously released. And speaking of jail, the other people in the town come right into the jail cell to talk to the person in jail.

And I believe it is a requirement for all the women to wear next to nothing while all the men are in long sleave shirts and suit jackets.

 

[happygirl]

Everyone is releated

 

[wvjules]

They look really good after sex. Pefect hair, make up, lipstick still on, etc.

 

[C.Ann]

One brief kiss, they're literally ripping each others clothes off, and are panting so hard, I'm surprised they don't require oxygen!

 

[SC Minnie]

If a man and woman are arguing they are going to end up in bed. If a man an woman have more than 2 scenes together they are going to end up in bed.

 

[C.Ann]

If a man and woman are arguing they are going to end up in bed. If a man an woman have more than 2 scenes together they are going to end up in bed.

If a man and woman glance at each other they are going to end up in bed..

 

[NAB]

Never go to jail,

all police forces are use less

one doctor cures all and delivers babies.

Ladies hair is always perfect , never wear the same clothes must be a huge closet the have even though they don't work.

Have kids but never see them.

Always a bar set up in the living room....

 

[Missy1961]

A woman will marry all the men in one family--grandpa, dad, and all the brothers.

If they get arrested, they aren't guilty. They were framed. And all this comes out when they testify.