Things that make you go "hmmm": Funerals

[apirateslifeforme]

All of the funerals I've attended have been in a church, even if the person was not a member and not religious. The wake has always been in the funeral parlor, but not the actual funeral service. The part that makes me go "hm?" is having an officiant who didn't know the deceased. I know "that's the way it's done" and they do try to make it nice, but it still seems a bit cold to me. Not "mean" cold, just impersonal. Just my opinion, though...

I personally do not want a wake or a funeral. Do NOT replace my blood with chemicals and put me on display in a box. Cremate me and find someplace to put me. I guess I can't control it if my family wants a memorial service of some type, however.

 

[minkydog]

The best funeral I ever attended was my father's. He was not a religious man and it would have been a sacrilege to hold the service in a church(he was not a very nice person.) He was cremated, so their was no wake. In his community it isn't uncommon to just hold a service at grave side, so that's what we did. The poor minister didn't know him but he did his best with the information we gave him. Unfortunately, he made one glaring error during the service--he started talking about how much my father loved fishing and hunting, two activities he hated and reviled. Well, when the preacher said that I got tickled and whisperd to my sister,''Yeah, he liked fishing for compliments and hunting tail." DSis just about cracked up.Then she passed it on, until all 5 of us were about to fall out of our seats. Tears were rolling down my cheeks and the other mourners thought we were soooo sad.

After the funeral we went back to the house and hosted a beer & BBQ, complete with pony rides for the kids. Actually, my dad would have loved it. He was a partying kind of dude.

 

[Aisling]

Catholics do celebrate all those occasions in the same place. Baptism, Confirmation, Wedding and Funeral all in a Church service.

Yes, and as a practicing Catholic, I really appreciate that tradition.

 

[PatsMom]

May family is all Catholic so I am pretty used to funerals being held in church. If the deceased was cremated, they use a temporary "loaner" casket to hold the remains during the service.

I also believe that the deceased person's wishes play a big part in where the service is held. My father was not a religious man and did not attend church. He was adamant that he did not want a church funeral. So he was cremated and we had a small service at the funeral home. Then we went back to his house and had a party. He would have liked that and it is what he told me to do with his life insurance money (not that there was much of that!)

My mother on the other hand, is a very religious Catholic and will have the full funeral mass, graveside service, etc. Those are the wishes she expressed to me since we figure I'm the most responsible of her kids so I'll end up taking care of the arrangements like I did for my father.

 

[Darcy03231]

All of the funeral services in both my family and DH's have been held at a church. The only thing held at the funeral parlor is the wake.