The Whirlwind Trippers Husband Report #2, or the Preacher loses his patience with son

[FSUMARCHIEF]

nothing

 

[alabamagirl]

Yay!! I'm so happy your doing another trip report! Can't wait to read more.

 

[TLinden16]

I hate it when I have to wait that long for a reservation! Gr.

Great start. Thanks for posting

 

[babytrees]

When I heard it, I was reminded of all the unreasonable people in churches who get mad at their preacher because he doesn’t come to visit them while they are in the hospital. The problem is, they failed to ever let anyone know they were there. It’s as if they think God is just going to let us know that lil’ Miss heiferdog is having her ingrown toenail removed and we should go see about it. (This has actually happened). Oh, and please do your preacher a favor. All the preachers on the Board can thank me later. If you want your preacher to know something that's going on in your life, please don’t tell him/her about it as you are exiting the Sanctuary after church in the greeting line. Guess what folks, there’s usually like 50,000 other people around talking and trying to get his/her attention too. Plus, they have probably just finished preaching a 20 minute sermon that is emotionally draining. Don’t believe it? You try coming up with a 20 minute talk 52 times a year that is interesting, life changing and entertaining all at the same time! I can assure you that they will most likely not remember whatever you tell them in the greeting line. Send them an email. Call them later. Please don’t get mad if they forget something you tell them right after a worship service. Now, I will step down out of the pulpit in the church of the poor abused preachers….


Mark

I've gotta amen!! the above! If you all are sick, feeling bad, or have a loss in the family, call your church office. We want to hear about it and get a pastor to you...plus how are we going to know who to pray for if you don't tell us?

 

[babytrees]

Mark-

So glad you are a writing another trip report....loving it already!!

 

[2vets]

Despite my Gator alumnus staus, I gotta admit...that is frigging hilarious...I don't think much of the good ol' boy Fl State Troopers myself... I might have made a few comments about violation of my civil liberties, though...what's the difference between "Gayturd" and "Drive North until you smell it, then drive West until you step in it...?"

Although you went to FSU, I'll give you one clue for where the ticket danger lurks...well, I'll just say it straight out... Waldo. I got a ticket there once for going 3 mph over the limit. Dead serious.

But let me assure you, they're even worse when you're a girl. I got sideswiped by some 18-yr-old ******* in G-ville when I was coming home from a long day of rotations and boards exam prep classes, utterly exhausted and doing nothing wrong at all, and the FST who came along gave ME a ticket, even though there were several witnesses who told him what happened...I contested it, and the 18-yr-old, having better things to do, never showed up...it was thrown out as a result, and I saved my insurance rates a bit...but the FST said to me in the elevator, "Well, Little Lady, that don't mean you're innocent. It just meant XXX has an important job he couldn't skip. Must be nice to be supported." (Note - I was unmarried, unsupported, in professional school, and skipping a full day of rotations, which required begging from the in-charge clinician in the first place and would require me to work a couple extra days to make up. My car - mine, ME, not my dad's - was totaled by an 18-yr-old freshman driving a car leased under his father's name.)

My response? "That's DOCTOR Little Lady to you." He shut up immediately.

Gotta say, though, I miss the South!! So you go on and go to town on UF. I still say - if you had to live up here in the land of ice, snow, impatience, and TRULY scary driving, you'd be looking forward to the enemy's posts, too!! Homesick for intercollege hatred due to football rivalry...that's a new low...

Can't wait to read the rest, keep 'em coming....

 

[ead79]

Woo Hoo! Another report! I have enjoyed reading yours and Rhonda’s reports so much. Keep ‘em coming!

 

[lillygator]

another trip report....I'm gonna have to pay back all this Gator bashin' with some down home Nole bashin' when I post my upcoming May report....



I could start with the "Heist-man" and "It's not like I shot the President!"



and I guess I'll have to read the other report to find out about this green balloon....




Can't

 

[FSUMARCHIEF]

Although you went to FSU, I'll give you one clue for where the ticket danger lurks...well, I'll just say it straight out... Waldo. I got a ticket there once for going 3 mph over the limit. Dead serious.

But let me assure you, they're even worse when you're a girl. I got sideswiped by some 18-yr-old ******* in G-ville when I was coming home from a long day of rotations and boards exam prep classes, utterly exhausted and doing nothing wrong at all, and the FST who came along gave ME a ticket, even though there were several witnesses who told him what happened...I contested it, and the 18-yr-old, having better things to do, never showed up...it was thrown out as a result, and I saved my insurance rates a bit...but the FST said to me in the elevator, "Well, Little Lady, that don't mean you're innocent. It just meant XXX has an important job he couldn't skip. Must be nice to be supported." (Note - I was unmarried, unsupported, in professional school, and skipping a full day of rotations, which required begging from the in-charge clinician in the first place and would require me to work a couple extra days to make up. My car - mine, ME, not my dad's - was totaled by an 18-yr-old freshman driving a car leased under his father's name.)

My response? "That's DOCTOR Little Lady to you." He shut up immediately.

Gotta say, though, I miss the South!! So you go on and go to town on UF. I still say - if you had to live up here in the land of ice, snow, impatience, and TRULY scary driving, you'd be looking forward to the enemy's posts, too!! Homesick for intercollege hatred due to football rivalry...that's a new low...

Can't wait to read the rest, keep 'em coming....

My gosh! First, where is Waldo? Is that a town?

Second - good job with the State Trooper. Arrogant little cusses!

And the last line about being homesick - that's hilarious. It is kinda sad that we spend so much time making up stuff about other schools and their awful footballl teams. But ain't it fun? By the way, You know what the best thing to come out of Gainesville is don't you?

I-75

hee hee heee
Go Noles!
Mark

 

[lillygator]

Webster is another town that gives tickets for anything over 30 mph.... Great flea market but don't speed!

 

[2vets]

You know what the best thing to come out of Gainesville is don't you?

I-75

Mark

Ouch....well, but I gotta agree with you...'cause when I got on 75 (and I wasn't on call), it either meant I was going diving down in So Florida, or I was going to Disney!!!

Hey, lillygator, where is Webster?? Don't think I ever got busted...I mean drove through...there... saw your post about not being at WDW this weekend - that stinks! We're leaving Fri am, and I am fully packed. Have been for 3 days. Because I am sad, homesick, cold because I live in Boston, and have an unhealthy obsession with an evil place that forces me to overspend, overeat, overdrink, and act like a 6 -year-old. Then again, you're all here, too.

Two words: group therapy.

OK, really, I gotta get some work done.

 

[2vets]

Oh, I never answered the question...WHERE'S WALDO????

Aside from the obvious smart-@ss answers to that, Waldo is also a town. A tiny, tiny, teeny, insecure little place that (1) is so small that you'll miss it if you blink...and you could have an extended blink, miss the place, and not damage anything, as you can only drive 2 mph through there (2) has a flea market or two, a bar, and a whole mess o'cops so that they can derive income from them foolish outsiders who's drivin' through. Lovely Waldo, FL is located north of Gville on 301.

If anyone's from Waldo, sorry. But look at the bright side - this is your chance to redeem your town - tell us, WHY WOULD YOU PULL OVER AN UNSUSPECTING AND TOTALLY BROKE STUDENT FOR GOING 3 MPH OVER THE SPEED LIMIT?????? WHY??? WHY????? I ATE RAMEN FOR THREE WEEKS!!!

OK, then. It's out of the system. Back to work.

Mark, we're all looking forward to additonal Disney tales...'cause you've got an undeniably awesome family...but before I leave...let's not forget one little thing...

34 to 7. Sorry, but it had to be said. Go gators.

 

[Pembo]

Hey Fellow Minister....wife of one here! I loved your "sermon" on not telling the minister something important right after church!!! My dh actually gets even more annoyed when they try to talk to him right BEFORE church except then it's usually something very trivial.

Just wanted to let you know you are not the only clergy who loves Disney on the DIS! I'm enjoying your tr!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

You're back! With another kick at the TR can. Bravo! I'm in. Once more. And your wife's too.

I'm SO curious about the losing the patience thing. Git 2 Day 2. Giddyup.

Mel.

 

[lillygator]

Sorry to hijack - but 2vets - Webster is inbetween Lakeland and Gville....I know narrows it down a whole lot...but the back way to 75 from Lakeland leads you right through there...they do have a GREAT flea market on Monday's only!!
And DH has to have his knee scoped....so we are still going this weekend - becuase he wants to!! Mayeb we'll see you around...DH always has something orange and blue on!


Preacher!! - that's what they call my brother, and no he isn't one!....I found out about the green balloon....what an awesome dad you are!! Can't wait for the next installment....and after reading your wife's tr....I don't know how ya'll go "all day".....

 

[javamom]

You try coming up with a 20 minute talk 52 times a year that is interesting, life changing and entertaining all at the same time!

Lemme get this staight. You only preach for 20 minutes and there is a lady that cain't stay awake fer it? Hey DIS friends, do you think we can take up a collection for our friend Mark, and send him one of those Disney Superflushers?!!


Wow, you need to meet my Senior Pastor. Erm, he preaches for at least 30, more like 40. Often, he says "I'm not done, but I gotta quit." He's been here for 30 years though, and he just gets more and more excited by the Word every day of his life. Really, his time preaching is just his attempt to impart a whole lot more than he can in that time frame.

We have 2 services first one at 9am, second at 10:30. Let's see announcements, songs, communion, offering (usually a song during it), sermon, invitation, and benediction. one hour and 30 minutes.

Often, if he starts to go off on a tangent, you'll see one of the associate pastors make this hand signal that looks like a plane landing... as in "land it, Pastor, land it!"


He's a hoot, and we all love him a lot!

 

[FSUMARCHIEF]

i got nothing

 

[FSUMARCHIEF]

34 to 7. Sorry, but it had to be said. Go gators.

Yeah well. Um. Um. Er. I guess I can't really say anything other than the fact that we pretty much sucked pondwater this year. So beating us 34 to 7 really isn't that big a deal.

But as they say, there's always next year.

But ain't it fun talking trash? I guess y'all don't get to do that much up there in Michigan? LOL! You should move back to the South. Football season is so much more fun!

Blessings!
Mark

 

[FSUMARCHIEF]

Lemme get this staight. You only preach for 20 minutes and there is a lady that cain't stay awake fer it? Hey DIS friends, do you think we can take up a collection for our friend Mark, and send him one of those Disney Superflushers?!!


Wow, you need to meet my Senior Pastor. Erm, he preaches for at least 30, more like 40. Often, he says "I'm not done, but I gotta quit." He's been here for 30 years though, and he just gets more and more excited by the Word every day of his life. Really, his time preaching is just his attempt to impart a whole lot more than he can in that time frame.

Let's see. I remember hearing someone say at seminary, "If it isn't said (they weren't from the South, otherwise they'd have used ain't) in 20 minutes it doesn't need to be said."

And someone else made a comment about preachers only working an hour a week. Get this. They told us in seminary that you should study one hour for every minute you preach. If I did that, 20 hours of my week would be focused on sermon prep. Let me guarantee you something. That never happens. It probably should, but because of all the lil miss Heiferdogs that want their preacher to see them when they have an ingrown toenail we never have that much time to prepare. But I will say that I believe one of my gifts is preaching. I don't say it arrogantly, just confident that God has given me the gift of gab. I can assure you that on most Sunday's the reason the lady sleeps is not because the sermon is boring.

I mean let's face it. God is a pretty awesome dude! If a sermon is boring, it ain't because God is boring! Perhaps it's cause the preacher had to go see lil Miss Heiferdog instead of working on a sermon!

hee hee hee!
Blessings everyone!
Mark

 

[javamom]

I mean let's face it. God is a pretty awesome dude! If a sermon is boring, it ain't because God is boring! Perhaps it's cause the preacher had to go see lil Miss Heiferdog instead of working on a sermon!

hee hee hee!
Blessings everyone!
Mark

Oh Lord no. Hope you didn't think I was implying that? Only that if she cain't stay awake for the 20 mins, you really are gonna need that Superflusher for her.

As an aside, I happen to get to read all the prayer requests that come in on Sunday's. It never ceases to amaze me the stuff that people will write. First off that such-and-such's deacon's second-cousin-twice-removed is having a "procedure" tomorrow, could the minister come by at exactly 10am to the Hospital. Or here's another favorite: Why hasn't any of the minister/elders/deacons attended my committe meeting/support group/hen party?
My personal all-time favorite though: There was a mispelling in the PowerPoint today. They used it's when they should have used its.

I scribbled "put on a hat and walk behind me" and threw that one away before anyone else got the misfortune of reading it.