Section 8 - in which we hopefully will make it into the park.
So my lovely (and feminine) new notebook has this to say at the top of the next page:
Procrastinators Unite. Tomorrow.
I seemed to have a tendency to like to throw little headings like that on pages sometimes. I guess it gave the notebook a bit of flair. And to make it clear that despite appearances it was not a chick's diary. Would a chick's diary have headings like that? I will answer for you. No. It would not. Unquestionably and in all certainty, there is only one indubitable answer to such a question, and that answer is in no respect affirmative.
The troubling thing I found under that lovely little saying was so disturbing that it calls into question the accuracy of all precious trip report segments. When I read it I recoiled in horror. Here is why. It said, "Went from California Grill to Imagination."
You will recall that in some previous trip report segment. Trip report segment 6, to be precise, I mentioned that I bought the Eyore diary/notebook/chick-book-thing. The time frame that I explained this in was after we had returned from California Grill, and then spent a day in MGM, and at the end of that day we headed back and bought it at Pop Central.
HaleyB said:
In Pop Central? It is called 'Everything Pop' dear. We have stayed there three times now.
Now all that is shattered. If I was scrawling about California Grill in the Eyore diary/notebook/chick-book-thing then there is no way that the timeline is correct. At this point the whole project's accuracy must be called into question. So I really have but one option left. Please, dear reader, forgive me. I realize that the Trip Report board is supposed to be for factual and accurate trip reports and not for writing short stories about getting that pet Unicorn you always wanted. But seeing as how things are as they are, please, consider all that I have preciously written as some kind of weird and oddly conceived fictionalized account of my (ostensibly) Oct 2006 Trip to DW. I can pull up witnesses who saw me at that place in Oct. 2006, and I solemnly promise that I really was not
trying to lie to you, so in theory the account is not as full of lies, half-truths, and jumbled fact-like-things-that-it-turns-out-are-not-actually-facts as it might first seem. But I just can't say. I have the memory of a
Planarium. So all is lost.
HaleyB said:
I handed the diary/notebook/chick-book-thing to H. She looked at it and noted that "Grill" didn't start with a B. And with that I discovered that, in fact, the word was "Soarin'" which starts with a "B" in a loose sense. Her further note skimming went like this "something about fast pass, blah blah, something, umm. Another fastpass? Oh yeah, that was the day when the meet up was."
HaleyB said:
I am sure the words "don't you remember?" were thrown in there too. I guess he forgot.
So, dear reader. Please disregard that earlier panic. Please consider the previous episodes to be less grounded in a fervent imagination, and more grounded in a calm and rational mind's clear and careful reflections on very specific facts. Please imagine that I am wearing a lab coat, and am a very careful and serious type of person who would never mis-record critically important pieces of information like when a diary/notebook/chick-book-thing was purchased.
In our last trip report segment, a disturbing trend was discovered, where the report segment itself, while it contained many words, failed to actually do very much reporting on a trip. This report has reported on some very serious and sober and important things, though some of them turned out to not be wholly trip report related. But I am turning over a new leaf. I will no longer dawdle in the all too fertile recesses of that part of the mind that just kind of fiddles around and doesn't actually do anything at all useful or serious or high-minded or anything, but kind of acts like a teenager hanging around a 24 hour coffee shop at 1 in the morning with their friends drinking coffee and not really being very serious or responsible or high-minded. And also not getting any dates. And really not having much of a life at all. And then going home and moping for a while before getting up and going to school. And being tired in class due to staying up all night hopped up on this cool newly discovered drink - coffee. And then still not getting any dates due to being weird as all get out and for other reasons that did not dawn on them until a decade or so later, causing much head-slapping and gritting of teeth. Not like that guy at all. And if anyone might suggest any of the preceding was in any way auto-biographical, my response is "s**t up." (edited to make the phrase less offensive, and then noticed that it might be interpreted as even more offensive. Dang.)
HaleyB said:
Hey there Mister. We do not use that phrase in our house.
Mr. Silly said:
It's true that we would never say that in the house. But this is the anarchy of the interweb. But okay. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I take it back. My response is "hush."
Due to my newly found seriousness and high-mindedness, I am going to come up with a new term. Trip-Reportology. As I am now wearing a lab coat (at least metaphorically - please ignore the Aloha shirt) I should approach things more scientifically. Thus the need for a science. Thus the term I just mentioned. Now some of you might be saying, "wait last paragraph you said you were going to actually start talking about your trip, and here you are babbling on about non-trip related things." To which I respond "patience, dear reader, this is science. It takes time." Did that seem like a good answer? Good. I just kind of made it up, but I was kind of proud of being able to handle a critic so quickly and with such seriousness and high-mindedness. Usually when people pop questions on me I say, "uuuh, yeah." And then just when they walk away (perhaps confused at why I can't answer their simple question with a coherent answer) the most perfect answer will pop in my head, but it will be too late. This was not one of those cases.
From the preceding data we can determine to two significant figures that we rode California Soarin' (my term for Soarin', as the entire ride takes place over California, and since in
DisneyLand it is called "California Soarin'"). I would put a graph in here to make things look more scientific, but I am too lazy, but please assume that there are various points plotted which have a general upward trend, as all good graphs do. Further scrutiny of the data (in this case my notebook-thing) reveals that the term used for Soarin' was "California Borin'," which was one of alternate names we actually used for the ride while in the parks, another being "Snorin'." The ride itself was not actually dull, but the theming going into the ride was - especially compared to the DisneyLand version. Since this is a report on Disney World and we are being Scientific, I will not describe the better DisneyLand theming, but will simply say it is much more correct. I will just add that the mocking terms amused an eight year old child we were hanging out with.
Since we already had one meltdown over accuracy that caused quite a flurry of concern, I need to now mention one other thing. Earlier in the old Mead spiral bound notebook, I found this:
Extra magic hour allows guests to enjoy the parks "at a more relaxed pace."
I really meant to mention it at that point. But we hadn't done an extra Magic Hour. But I now realize that it might be many pages before we get to that point and each page is one more page away from a Scientific report, so I mention it here. Because I think that is the most hilarious thing that Disney Marketing has ever come up with. I laughed at the phrase when I saw it somewhere on some Disney related context, probably in a bus. I laughed at the phrase many pages ago in some other notebook. I laughed at it again many pages in the notebook when we actually do an extra Magic Hour and experience that "relaxed pace." And assuming I ever get to that point in this Trip report, I will laugh at it there. But we needed to be honest about that since we already have had a few embarrassing incidents in this report and wanted to avoid future incidents.
HaleyB said:
That was part of the infomercial they play at you on Magical Express. We found it to be hilarious, our bus mates did not all get the joke. Even Max and Sophia found this to be a highly questionable assertion. They are pretty well seasoned Disney vets, you know.
Thus we arrived at the park and rode our first ride. In the next segment some of us will ride Imagination, and other things will transpire, and it will ideally all be laid out in the clean and Scientific style that the latter portion of this report has exemplified.
HaleyB said:
In case you missed it, we rode Soarin' first. It is a fine ride that we much enjoy. We did not get the foot free view this time, but as we have had the foot free view many times in the past, we were good with the feet partially obstructing our view.
I say it all the time but for me it usually goes like this.
