ATMYQOTD (Answer To My Own Question Of The Day):
First, I am SO glad I asked! There are so many of us going through the same quandaries and I’m finding myself wanting to quote all of you and then realizing I’d be here for 8 hours replying, so what I really want to say is…
I SEE YOU. Clearly this is not a topic discussed enough in the world of running, so here we all are, trying to figure it out. And it feels better to know I’m not alone!
My running/athletic path has been weird: I grew up in the ballet, where running was forbidden “because it’ll ruin your knees and give you big thighs.” So, while I was training for hours every day in ballet and extremely fit, I definitely was not a runner, though I loved to run when occasions called for it, like in backyard soccer games and Field Day relays at school.
I gave up on ballet as a career, but continued practicing on my own my entire adult life - it’s my happy place, where I feel centered and calm. But I needed more than that and started running for fitness in my 20s - knowing nothing about pace, or distances, or any of the stuff I look at now. I just enjoyed the feeling, so I’d run for a while, walk for a while, sometimes as a stand-alone workout, sometimes before strength training. Didn’t track it in any way.
Fast forward to 11 years ago, when a friend ran the WDW Half, and I cheered for some of the marathoners the next day. I saw “normal” people doing something I’d thought held exclusively for professional athletes and thought, “Maybe I can, too!” Signed up for the PHM 5K, and the rest is history, right? Too many half’s, 10Ks, 5Ks to count, plus 7 marathons and a few Dopeys.
The point I’m getting around to is that I “peaked” long, long ago - before I ever started running as I know running today. Before I tracked anything or knew anything. Truthfully, before I even took up distance running. So as I approach 52, I don’t have times or age group wins or anything like that against which to stack my aging self… I only have how I still remember my body feeling when it was young and healthy: capable of anything I asked it to do. That’s still my base level expectation, and my brain is having a hard time letting go of that! The constant messaging about “reversing the aging process” and “age is just a number” and “50 is the new 30!” and such? Feeds right into my brain’s idea that my body isn’t living up to expectations, and therefore needs to be pushed harder. Dangerous stuff, that.
Anyway, I’m in the early days of trying to identify what looks like yet another autoimmune disease added to the couple I’ve already got, and over the past 6ish months, my body has been real, real clear in its messaging: BACK. OFF. It seems to want less mileage, fewer running days, no ”junk”: it still Iikes to pick up the pace, but please not for a long period of time, kthanksbye. It seems to want more fluid strength work - ballet, Pilates, yoga. I’m still recovering from MW, but I think my plan between now and Springtime Surprise to to reduce running to 2 45-min runs and 1 long run, 1 ballet day, 1 yoga day, 1 Pilates day, and 1 day off entirely. With the option of making any one of those days a very easy day, or an extra day off entirely. I’ll see how that feels in another month or two and adjust from there, I guess. I think I need to re-train my brain away from times and distances, and back to where it once was: enjoying the feeling of running.