The rich are different, or

[Disney-Kim]

I looked at the bigger picture of the article.....

people trying to maintain their existing way of life on a smaller income or economic downfall. this is the same for those earning 30k or 300k....its just a story about how she is trying to maintain until life gets better. we are all doing the same thing.

only thing about that article was that I didn't see the economy affecting her as much as divorce.....different story and different situation.

the article mentioned twice that she bought out her husband on the house...obivously she has bucks in the bank...really....and there is no way her current income is covering all her expenses....unless she doesn't have a mortgage or something

 

[janey99]

All this said, she's probably not the best example to use in a finance article about coping with the economic downturn...what was the writer and editor thinking?

I'm guessing the editor was trying to engender a little classist spite, like a PP said - there were several mentions in the article of how the family has health insurance but the nanny doesn't. Gee, she has dark roots showing, but at least she has health insurance . . . Remarkably "coincidentally" timely if you ask me!

Jane

 

[Disney Doll]

I just hope that people realize not everyone making that kind of money lives like that.
It wouldn't make a good article if she were "normal"

Most people I know making that kind of money shop at Target and drive Hondas.

Really??? Up here (1 hour north of NYC) people making that kind of money live exactly as she is describing it.

 

[Disney Doll]

Class envy I just don’t get who would be envious of people who live such horrific lives?

We make half of what his woman does and lead a waaaaay better life. We garden/do "grounds work" together as a family, tend to our own children (we even shop for them and make them their meals…..gasp), and do most of our own house repairs. If we can’t make the repair, we are able to pay the people we employ without haste.

Oh. And we sleep well at night knowing we live WITHIN our means.

This woman has a horrible existence as far as most educated people are concerned.



No envy here

Here! Here!!!! I'm right there with you hentob!

 

[KirstenB]

Really??? Up here (1 hour north of NYC) people making that kind of money live exactly as she is describing it.

I'm having a hard time picturing how you afford a $2 million house on a 300k annual income. Around here, folks in that income range have a house somewhere around 600-800k tops. And our taxes are Nothing compared to the Northeast. I hope this lady has no mortgage.

With the real estate market being so crummy, she's probably stuck in that house for now. Every day, on the budget board, people post about how they're upside down in their car loan, etc. She's in the same boat, just on a bigger scale. I don't see an easy way out for her.

 

[bumbershoot]

Am I reading the same article as others?

She isn't wasting money on coloring her hair.

She gently explains to her DD that her DD needs to stop complaining about her phone (and my goodness, it doesn't take being TAUGHT to "need" a certain thing for a kid to WANT a certain thing).

Someone asked about the house..."Life in this $2.5 million house was built on the premise of two incomes". It was bought BEFORE. It wasn't bought based on what she's bringing in this year.


She's pretty much the only one who would speak for the record, which is why she's just about the only one featuered.


People here are talking about how it's so awful that she's taking money from savings...isn't that what savings is FOR? To help us when we get into trouble??? My MIL has "savings" in jewelry...she taught her 3 kids that gold is everything. But she's in trouble now, and she will not sell it. She could get out of trouble if she sold, but she won't. If she had that money in cash, she would be fine right now.

Plus, they say: "She figures she will pull an additional $50,000 from a personal investment account to "pick up the slack.""

Sounds like a very cushy personal investment account. Sounds like a nice thing to have! I'm glad she has it.

My brother and SIL have a pool guy and a gardener. Not only do they help support the pool guy and gardener, but they consider it non-negotiable as well. They would dump quite a bit before getting rid of them. It's not MY lifestyle (we choose apartments/condos b/c we have no interest in gardening either, but don't have the money to pay someone else to do it), but I understand that it's theirs.

She states that she can't sell the house due to the market. That makes sense to me.

She is "tenacious and determined to stay upright." That's a darned good attitude to have!


Someone made mention of filthy carpets? "The rugs are worn. Milk is spilled." That's filthy?

"Steins and others in a group called the Stephen Ministry wrestle with how to help members struggling through the crisis." That's pretty awesome, that she takes time to try to help others.

Someone is actually criticizing her for where she hangs a painting? I have a painting done by my mom, and it's in a closet. There's nowhere to hang it. Big deal that she has it in a bedroom. Also, the sentence says "he left Steins an oil painting of the house". Not that he painted it, just that he had it and left it for her.

The nanny...while I don't understand the need, she does, and I'm sure the nanny is glad for it! Says that she was earning 40K in '94, so it's probably weird to be making the same amount of money. Of course she gets to live in this nice house, she has a Y membership, etc etc. Not bad, IMO. Probably better than being unemployed. And making that money with few expenses, why isn't she getting herself health insurance?

I missed any mention of Steins having health insurance, and I thought someone said it was mentioned a few times...I only see the nanny's health care mentioned once and the family's not at all. Also, plenty of people go to dental clinics like that; otherwise dentists wouldn't get practice. My friend's SIL had her whole family come see her while in clinic, it was a good way to get relatively inexpensive care. Nothing wrong with going to a place like that, IMO.

OH wait, I see the quote was re-used in the picture.


I see no "woe is me", except that she's sad her marriage ended.

"Steins knows how fortunate she is. She has a job. She will gut out the remains of the recession, even if it's her version of paycheck to paycheck. She will keep it all afloat."

Someone mentioned "paycheck to paycheck". Note that the article states "her version" of paycheck to paycheck. Remember that probably massive personal investment account that can take a 50K hit and continue to give more....not the normal paycheck to paycheck. Again, I'm glad she has it.



I grew up in a VERY different existence, even from what I have now, but even the way we lived, my mom sacrificed EVERYTHING to keep us kids from being overly bothered. She took US out to dinner, and I only found out in my late 20s that one of the reasons she was so slim then was because she wouldn't eat, so we could. She would drink black coffee while we had combo plates at Bob's Big Boy, so she didn't have to say "no" to everything we asked for. I never had a Cabbage Patch Kid, but we got occasional dinners out, and she went without eating to do that for us, when she was truly a single mom. And just like my mom did that for us, this woman is willing to take money from her investment account to keep her kids' world as intact as possible. Obviously things have changed (not the exact phone her DD wants), but she's not destroying their current world, not while she doesn't have to.


I just must be reading a different article than the rest of you.

 

[dvcgirl]

DVCGirl -

I found the article interesting because this is slightly less than what DH and I earn a year too. We have a similar house, 2 small children and a nanny, all in a fairly "exclusive" suburb of north-central NJ (although it's no Rye!). We also have no debt but a mortgage (and a very reasonable one, thanks to some luck and arbitrage in the real estate market of recent years)

After doing some back of the envelope calculations, comparing our budget to hers (at least the parts she discloses), I can't figure out how she's doing it.

Her house is costing her waaay more than 8-10k a month, not to mention the multiple activities her kids are in and the other lifestyle perks I'm sure she hasn't given up, even though her "color" is suffering. The only way I can figure she's covering every month without being "in the hole" (either spending savings she has from somewhere, or running up credit card bills) is if she's is contributing absolutely nothing to her retirement and her kids future education. Even then, she's barely breaking even, probably saving nothing at all.

That is bleeping scary, considering that she has three elementary school age dependants. I'm thinking she did the article hoping that some white knight would come and rescue her!

Jane

Well, 75K off the top for the nanny and property taxes. I guess it all comes down to the mortgage and utilities to know what it costs to run the house. She bought the husband out, so may have taken on more debt or cashed in investments to do that.

The other thing I was thinking is that her base salary may be as little as half of her income. Then again, the article did say "Squeaking by on 300K".

I dunno....I agree with others that it wasn't really a recession story other than the fact that it's a bad time to sell her house. Still, she's got to be dipping into investments/savings to maintain that kind of lifestyle.

She could come down to my part of Jersey and live with me....I'll show her how we "squeak by on 300K" and manage to save 60% of our take home pay. Then again, I'm thinking she probably won't want to drive in my 12.5 year old SUV, shop at Kohls or color her own hair.....lol!

Oh well, different strokes I guess.....

 

[hentob]

She took US out to dinner, and I only found out in my late 20s that one of the reasons she was so slim then was because she wouldn't eat, so we could. She would drink black coffee while we had combo plates at Bob's Big Boy, so she didn't have to say "no" to everything we asked for. .

Your mother starved herself to a low weight so you could eat combo platters at Bob’s Big Boy

Was she mentally ill?

 

[bunny]

:

Your mother starved herself to a low weight so you could eat combo platters at Bob’s Big Boy

Was she mentally ill?

:

 

[bunny]

She could come down to my part of Jersey and live with me....I'll show her how we "squeak by on 300K" and manage to save 60% of our take home pay. Then again, I'm thinking she probably won't want to drive in my 12.5 year old SUV, shop at Kohls or color her own hair.....lol!

Oh well, different strokes I guess.....

Not to be nosy (but since you put it out there) why do you live so frugally and save 60% of your salary? Most financial advisors say that you should save 25% for retirement, 6-9 months of expenses, and 10-20% for investments. Do you have some sort of long range goal for all your savings? Do you want to take an early retirement? Are you saving for children's educations? Do you tithe or give money to charities? I have seen you post numerous times that you save 60% of your income and I have always wondered why anyone would do that.

 

[Ember]

Well, I'd openly admit to being green with envy! This woman has problems I would give my left arm for! I would LOVE to have my big worries be that $300k a year just wasn't enough. I would LOVE to be able to worry about which car to drive to a party, having to make do with an old cell phone, etc.

Instead, my mother is dying of cancer. I'm teaching part time and can't pick up a second job because I need to be home to help care for my mom as she starts chemo. My husband is struggling to complete his PhD in light of my family crisis. And now I have to find a way to pay off the trip I just took mom on so we would have one last family vacation.

And truthfully, I still feel blessed. My family is wonderful and I am so lucky to have this time with my mom before she has to leave me. My husband and I have a combined income of just over 1/6th of the woman in the article. But I know how fortunate I am, there are a heartbreaking number of people with far less then me. Whenever I start to feel sorry for myself about not having enough, I make a point of donating some of what I have to charity.

I hope I never become as shallow and laughably pathetic as that woman.

 

[bunny]

Ember, you sound like a great person. But remember, wealth creates its own set of problems. To be honest, the article does make her sound very superficial.

 

[disney1990]

If I were "months overdue for a visit to my colorist" I would find a part time job to pay for it I found that to be the saddest part of the story

That and her horrible jeans

Since I lost my job in January, my colorist is my DH. Unemployment just doesn't make it. And, I can't even find a part-time job.

I am quite sure that I could help this woman cut corners -- she just doesn't want to bad enough.

 

[hentob]

I am quite sure that I could help this woman cut corners -- she just doesn't want too bad enough.

Well said. She doesn't want it at all. She is buying new items for her wardrobe (which I am sure is fine just the way it is), she has her choice of cars, and she has hired help.

300K a year (after taxes) can in NO way support the way she is living.

 

[ccgirl]

I am just dumbfounded by this article!!! I agree that she was very brave to share her story. However, I am perplexed as to why she has a nanny. Her kids look older, certainly old enough to be in school full time. Why can't they do their own laundry and cook their own meals??? Teach them how to take care of themselves so they don't have to rely on others. If you are truly squeaking by...cut some corners. Constantly buying new items for the wardrobe and having everyone do everything for you...it's hard to feel sorry for her. There are people who can't even put food on the table during this recession and she has the nerve to say she is barely getting by. I just don't get it. My DD6 daughter actually had the nerve to ask me if we were poor the other night because she doesn't have a cell phone or a t.v. in her room like the other girls in her private school. I just told her that I choose to spend money differently. I choose to give money to other rather than buying a t.v. and cell phone that she doesn't need. It's about time we starting teaching our children there is a BIG difference between need and want. This world would be a much better place!!

 

[disney1990]

Not to be nosy (but since you put it out there) why do you live so frugally and save 60% of your salary? Most financial advisors say that you should save 25% for retirement, 6-9 months of expenses, and 10-20% for investments. Do you have some sort of long range goal for all your savings? Do you want to take an early retirement? Are you saving for children's educations? Do you tithe or give money to charities? I have seen you post numerous times that you save 60% of your income and I have always wondered why anyone would do that.

Well, I certainly don't know why dvcgirl saves 60% of her salary, but I can tell you why I always have. DH & I have always lived so that we could pay all of our expenses on one salary (and we raised 2 daughters, who believe in the same values). 5 years ago, we paid off our house and have no other debts. Everything we buy, we buy on a credit card and pay off when the bill comes (love those Disney Rewards). No, we have never been rich and went years without going out to eat dinner (except for Birthdays) to accomplish this goal. Now that he is retired and I am unemployed, I look at that money as something that will keep us going after my unemployment runs out if I haven't managed to find another job by that time. Experts may give you a guideline of what to save, but to me it is just a guideline. What is going to happen to all those people with 6-9 months of savings that have now been looking for employment for over a year? Of all the people that got laid off when I did (about 75), less than 10 have found another job yet -- 6 months later. If you don't lookout for yourself, nobody else will.

Like I said before, this woman doesn't want help. There are lots of expenses that she can cut out. She bought new bone bangle bracelets, really, she drives more than 1 car, really? Get real. There are lots and lots of people out there in the REAL world that get by on far less. They cut coupons and go to the grocery store to buy what is on sale. Sure, she wouldn't be able to keep up with all her rich friends, but so what. She needs to wake up and smell the coffee.

 

[castleview]

I'm usually with hentob on these sorts of stories, but I'm finding myself rooting for this woman. Sure the nanny should be phased out, the clothes could be less designer, and the kids should take over the gardening/pool/housekeeping duties. But I understand this mom wanting to keep things stable for her kids and remain in their house after they've endured divorce. Selling it would be useless right now - maybe she will downsize when the market gets better. She's not borrowing from the government so I don't care. She's riding it out like we all are.

 

[castleview]

Double post, sorry!

 

[LoveDisney!!!]

dvcgirl, I too wonder about you. I understand saving as much as you can; however, your posts always seem to be of a bragging nature. I don't know if you intend that, but I have always noticed that you manage to sneak in your income to every post. I am sure you realize that many people live on much less than you (I am talking of your 80K, since you save the rest). They do so WITH a mortgage and kids. It seems as though you want to appear frugal, but spending 80K a year with no mortgage or kids seems. Granted, you do live in a higher cost of living area, but so do others.

Before anyone comes and says I'm a "hater", I am not. I am happy that you are doing wel and hope that one day I can do the same. I just wonder why the need to post the same thing in just about every thread.

 

[Caradana]

These areticles bug me because they only serve to create class envy. It's easy for those of us who earn much less than this woman to want to have the $300k/year and mock her for not being able to live within it. That is what she's used to and no one wants to have to make sacrifices when they have settled into a comfort zone.

Observant point. I chose to focus on what I liked about this woman.
- Her kids love her and listen to her.
- She got an education and guided herself into earning a six-figure income on her own intellectual merits.
- She's gutsy as heck. She put herself on the line to tell that story. She had to know, in advance, that she'd be vilified all over the internet.

And finally ... because it's kind of nice that on this thread we're talking about income and class in a forthright way ... money doesn't make you happy, but man, can lack of money make you miserable. And I'm not going to lie about it, I love to make money. I have loved it since the day I graduated from college. I love my family and my DH more, obviously, but I wake up every day hungry to achieve at work, and I have very definite goals for my life that involve professional development and money. I have delayed kids with my DH and sacrificed a lot in order to do this. I strive to have the kind of lifestyle that this woman is frantically grappling to retain: I want the clothes, the cleaning ladies and gardeners, the vacation house, all of it. I'm not afraid to say that on this board, with the caveat that I have much respect for the women whose goals lie closer to home and in more emotional and spiritual realms. You live your way and I live mine, and I think we can live in harmony and mutual respect, if we don't attack each other out of defensive reflex.