The Official New Mom Thread

[bellacam]

Well, it's pretty much official. As of today, Jace will be all formula fed. I pumped last night instead of nursing to see how much he was actually getting. I pumped and massaged and pumped and all I could get was 2.5 ounces. He needs more than that at bedtime. I really wanted to keep nursing him before bed but my body is no longer cooperating. I thought about pumping every night after he's asleep to put that 2.5 ounces in a bottle the next day, but I don't know. As I know they say any Bmilk is better than none -but 2+ ounces? Seems like it wouldn't make much difference. I'm just bummed - I loved nursing him. So here comes the guilt again about considering stopping altogether and not pumping at night. Who knows.

Joats, as much as I wanted to, I was never able to EBF. Aidan was so big and so hungry all the time I was never able to keep up with him and after two weeks of agony for me and him, I started to supplement with formula. I still bf, like at his 6:30 am feeding, he's in bed with me and we BF. I do it before his afternoon nap and also at bed time. I also only got 2-3 oz by pumping but Dr said baby is way more efficient than any pump so he does get more. If you do still bf, there is no harm in also giving a bottle of formula after, if you feel Jace hasn't had enough.(I'm sure he would let you know ) My Dr and LC did say that even 1 feeding a day is better than none, so do not feel guilty at all. Easier said than done, I know. Good luck!

 

[tkyes]

so much catching up to do! I don't think I'll get much in because Tyler is due to wake up from his nap any second.

Quick note on the vascectomy (sp?) topic - use protection until you get hubby's test back from the Dr. saying there aren't any more swimmers! My SIL just found out she is pregnant with baby number 5!! Her DH had the procedure a couple of months ago and they didn't use backup protection. oops! Her youngest is 7 months old.

DH is doing well and back at work. He's limping a little with his hip, but he's doing well. No more pain pills!

I took Tyler in on Monday, I thought his ears were bothering him since he was tugging on them. I felt like such an anal first time mom since nothing was wrong with him at all. He was even smiling at the nurse when she took his rectal temp. lol! Anyway, he's 18 lbs. 4 oz, but they didn't do a measurement. Like Tasha, we need to look for that next size care seat very soon!!

Welcome Hillary, Liam is gorgeous!!

Welcome back to everyone from their Disney trips. Alice, I wish I could help you with your gift for you boys, we'll be there in February though.

My mom just called and asked if I was up for a day at the spa and shopping for my birthday next month! DH is taking the day off of work so he can stay home with Tyler. Now, if I could lose 10 pounds by next month so I felt better about someone giving me a massage, that would help immensely!

Tasha - great pictures

joats - {{hugs}} there is so much guilt involved in breastfeeding. Try not to get too down. He'll be a perfectly wonderful, adorable, healthy baby either way!!

bellacam - tummy time will come. Just do a minute a couple of times a day. Suddenly one day he'll be ok with it. Try putting him on his tummy on your tummy - then he can look at you and you can talk to him. You might get a couple more minutes that way.

gotta run!

tamie

 

[tkyes]

quick question - where do you guys upload your photos from? imagestation isn't letting me anymore because my free "silver" membership expired. any suggestions?

tamie

 

[DisneyPhD]

You know DD hates the pack and play, I don't think the pad is padded enough for her. We always bring extra blankets and pad it, I don't know why I never thought of the sofa cushions. I will have to keep that in mind on our next trip (Jan 4h to 11th, SSR.) She will be older, but never trys to climb. If she did we wouldn't. I put a flat pillow in her bed the other night to eleavate her head (because of congestion) and it has really made her more comfortable.

We had a lovey time at Princesses on ice last night. My DD was really well behaved and just enjoyed her self so much. She sat on my lap and ohhhed and ahhhed the whole time. She wore her cinderella dress. It was so cute, little girls in Disney dresses everywhere, 1,000's of them. It was adorable. DH said him and Lily had a nice time together so it worked out for all. Of course we had this group of women with 4 little girls around 2 to 3 years old behind us. All in princess dresses, they were truely adorable. However they were REALLY loud and yelled and screamed and kicked the chairs and yelled some more nostop the whole time (In spanish no less, when Malicent came out it was "Malificento!" over and over again.) Now you expect a bit of exctiment and bouncing, but this was out of control. Once again mom's did nothing until I started talking to them to please not kick the chairs and put my fingers to my mouth. Our kids were so well behaved, but started to yell too, thinking this was what we were doing. (they respounded well to redirection.) Finally the second half the mothers grabbed them and put them on laps, this brought it back to an acceptable level of excitment. Even DD was telling them to to not yell in her ear and kick her chair (or head!) There where kids all around having a great time and while exchited and enjoying themselves they were very well behaved. My luck I always get the screamers right behind me.

All in all it was really fun. Great for 4 year old princesses

 

[zalansky]

Tykes -
I use photobucket.com

 

[joats]

Thanks for the BF suggestions and support. Justhat and Bellacam thanks a bunch! I've decided to keep trying to nurse and will supplement a bottle until I know for sure if I will be able to get more milk going. Tonight he only nursed on one side for less than 5 minutes. He kept snapping his head back (and me - ouch). I think he's not getting enough flow. There used to be so much he'd practically choke. After he refused the other side, I gave him a bottle. He took 3.5 ounces of formula. I will pump everynight after he eats (as I have been doing for over a week now). I'm hoping to make this work somehow.

We had a nice day of cuddling and just hanging out together. Tomorrow should not be too bad as I am only working a half day (my work gives you full pay for half time work the 1st week back from mat. leave). And, then I have the weekend too.

DisneyPhD: Glad DD enjoyed her Princesses on Ice. I know my 5 year old niece would love to see that.

Tykes: Love the updated pics of Tyler. I use villagephotos.com for my pics.

Lissawyn: I wouldn't want my picture up there either!! That's not right for them to make you do that.

 

[Strawberry Lemonade]

I like all the new pics! These babies just keep getting cuter.

DH is off today and I have to work! No fair! He likes taking Fridays or Mondays off not only for the long weekend, but because Tuesday-Thursday he tends to have meetings. Unfortunately, I work Monday/Wednesday/Friday. He's still going to drop Lucas off with my mom so he can get the lawn mowed (hopefully for the last time this year). We've got a busy weekend ahead of us. We're going out to dinner for my aunt & uncle's wedding anniversary tonight and leaving tomorrow to visit DH's cousin (who is Lucas's godfather) in upstate NY. We also get to do some outlet shopping in MA on our way there. I'm looking for a few pairs of overalls for the fall. (For Lucas, not me.)

I use imagestation for my photos too so I guess I might as well just switch since I'm not paying for the service and I'll probably run into the same problem as Tamie.

Take care!
Jennifer

 

[Alice28]

Hi Everyone-

Man I was a grouch yesterday evening. The kids were just driving me batty. Molly wouldn't take a decent nap, Joshua was wound tight and Sam just had 8 million questions about some of those free animal trading cards that are sent in the mail- you know, the kind where then you send in $6 once a month for a new pack. He wants them so bad and wouldn't stop hinting around at it last night. I was such a nag when I was a kid- it's coming back to me threefold! (I was an only child...)

DH is DEFINITELY getting the big SNIP after he comes home and settles in. No more kids and I think he should do it- I've been pregnant 3 times and given birth three times thankyouverymuch. He told me before we even got married that he would get the vasectomy when the time came. When we were in Orlando last week there was this HUGE billboard that said, www.vasectomy.com and had some "catchy" phrase under it and now I can't remember. My mom and I cracked up when we saw it.

Tykes- Tyler is looking extra cute!

DisneyPhD- Glad you had a nice time at Princesses on Ice. Why are there always rude people though! I swear, every time we camp out for a parade at Disney, it's the same sort of experience.

Joats- we're thinking of you and hope your first days back go well.

lisawynn- I agree WTH????? about your picture on the website? That is weird and should be only done with your permission. Stupid.

Oh, DH did get a response from the DJ and said that he will call me soon and that they will MAKE SURE things get done correctly this time and he's sooooo sorry I was flaked on. I haven't gotten a phone call yet- hmmmm.

DH has all these HUGE plans for when he comes home, my head is spinning a little bit. Some home repairs; some expensive items for each of us (he really wants a new gun- his hobby- he wants to buy me some diamond earrings), wants to take a big trip to CA; wants to try and take just Sam to Hawaii for 4 days (it's $2500 for all of us to fly...he can try and fly standby with Sam on a military flight for $10 each and have a good chance of going....a slim chance if it were all 5 of us). I'm just like, "Uh...honey??? Are we becoming millionaires next year and I don't know about it?" I'm mostly uneasy about it because we HAVE to buy a new car when he comes home- I sold his last fall! It was just a commuter Hyundai we got for free when my grandfather passed away- we were trying to par down our bills, so we sold his big-*** truck and he drove that to and from work. I didn't want it sitting unused in the driveway for 18 months, so I sold it (after we talked about it of course). So, now we just have 1 Subaru Outback and desperately need a car that can seat 7. DH thinks his mom will help us out with that one (as she's helped out his brother numerous, numerous times with that sort of thing), but I would feel awkward- THANKS FOR BUYING US A NEW CAR- watch us spend $10K on crap we don't need!



But what I am supposed to say, "No, no, no we can do nothing even though you have been shot at for the last 12 months and we've been apart?"

My goal was to pay off most of our credit debt while he was gone. I did get 2 cards completely paid off, but we still have 2 left. I'm irritated with myself over that one (DARN you Gymboree! ).

Anyway, I hope we all have a super weekend!



Joats- I tried sending you a PM about the Disney Photo Pass info- but the server for disboards kept freezing up on me. So I either sent you like 3 PMs or none at all. Basically the photopass is that now Disney gives you one plastic card for everytime you get your pics done by a disney photographer. Every time you get your pics done, they scan the card. You don't have to wait in any huge line at the end of the day to view/buy your photos. You can look at them online and order online after you get home! Isn't that cool?

 

[BibbidiBobbidiBOO]

Hi Alice28!
NO, I am NOT a new mom, DH took care of that years ago! Go for it!
A bit OT but I just saw your post and wanted to say hi!
DH had a big long wish list when he got back too. We are not halfway through it yet. Very overwhelming! We did get a bunch of new toys (ipods and other gadgets), new fridge, washer, and dryer. But have not got hardwood floors/tile put in yet and hardly put a dent in the trip wish list! We did take a little alone trip and a family trip. Disney is next month (along with new seasonal passes!) Fun to dream and make the list while they are away. Hard to get it all done when they are home and daily routines get in the way. Good luck with all that. Glad to see you are almost through the tour. They actually had the nerve to ask DH if he wanted to go back ,
Molly is getting so big and cute as a button. Hope all continues to go well for your family!

 

[Hillbeans]

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to check in quickly and thank everyone for your warm welcome and to say hello!

My MIL is still here for one more day, and it's been nice having her here. The baby is (knock on wood) pretty easy to care for. The only real issue we've had so far is that he's just a little gassy - probably from the formula. Other than that, things are going very well, and i've already been walking one mile a day with the baby.

I hope to have a little more time next week to check in more and chat with all of you.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend.

 

[joats]

SL: hope you have a nice weekend trip.
Alice28: Your DH sure sounds eager to get home and do all kinds of things! After being away so long I imagine he justs wants to do everything - regardless of what the finances really are. I think its sweet. But I can totally understand your head spinning!

My first day back was not bad. It felt as I was just visiting everyone at work. They had a welcome back breakfast for me with bagels and such. I spent the day talking about Jace and showing his pictures. The hardest part was when I got out of work and driving my 45 min. commute to pick him up. I swear I was cursing people left and right to get outa my way on the road LOL!. I couldn't wait to get to him and hold him. He was his usual happy, smiley self - which was wonderful to be greeted to. But thank goodness it's the weekend and next week is only a 3 day week (work offers a transition week back). I plan on a big snugglefest this weekend.

I'd better get to cleaning around here. He'll only nap for so long.
Have a great weekend!

 

[Alice28]

OK, I need your advice, sympathy, whatever.

I told y'all the other day about DH's "wish" list when he got home. He went on about it more again and it kind of made me angry. He wants to take each boy on an "adventure." But funny how these adventures are things he has wanted to do for quite some time. I'm not angry that he's going to do something without me, it's what he wants to do that I was mad about. Like, Gee, take our oldest on a military flight (on stand by, but only $20 a person this way) to Hawaii for four days. Or take the West Coast Starlight train from CA to Portland with our youngest (while, oh goodie, I get to drive back to Portland with Molly and my 8 year old by myself- a 12 hour drive with a baby). To me, an "adventure" that the boys would love would be something as simple as a day at the park/zoo/mall/beach with daddy. All things that can be done close to home and would not cost hundreds and hundreds of dollars.

So, I was stewing about it all day yesterday. The one thing DH and I have fought over time and time again over the years is finances. Neither one of us are the greatest with credit cards. We know better, yadda, yadda, yadda, but somehow we always have a pretty chunky credit card debt. I'm not perfect, but even my DH would tell you at least 75-85% of it is his fault. I thought our goal was to really pare down debt, not go absolutely frickin bananas when he came home. And I haven't done a stellar job at paying it off as I thought I would....I paid off two cards, but one he had to jack up to buy a bunch of gear last Dec and then, you know, life happens and sometimes I Have had to charge things here and there.

Oh, and he does want to spend a weekend away with just me here in Portland...it's not like I'm getting shafted, and a family trip in So CA. So, when he said Southern CA, my brain LEAPS to Disneyland (duh, he knows that) so I emailed him back about some prices of tickets, should we stay at Grand Californian this time, legoland, seaworld, etc. And then he "yells" at me through email to stop the planning cause we don't know the logistics yet of everything. I'm not stupid, I know we don't know dates yet, but it's fun to research and stuff- that's how I found the DIS so long ago!

That is the other thing I was mad about yesterday! It's ok for him to dump $20K worth of stuff he's dreaming and planning about, but the second I jump on board I have to "stop it."???

So, I wrote him back yesterday and told him I was upset that he told me to "Stop Planning" when he had all these crazy ideas he was allowed to think about and research, etc. I said, "How exactly are we going to pay for all this? And do you REALLY have to go to Hawaii and an expensive train trip with the boys to chalk up quality time with them? Give me a break?!?!?!" I said that I definitely wanted to have a nice weekend away, just the two of us; I wanted him to be able to have a "spree" at Costco. And I wanted him to spend his "free" money on whatever he wants- a new firearm, a new watch, something for the house, whatever. (By "Free" I mean this whole time he has been gone, he earns something like "$1.40 a day thru the Army as his 'incidental' pay- by the time all is said and done, it should be well over a thousand dollars). And I wanted to take some sort of trip as a family, but I really didn't think Sam should miss more than a week of school. (that's why we didn't stay thru the weekend at WDW, cause I didn't want him missing another day of school- we got back at midnight Thurs night and he was at school the next morning!!!).

So, he writes back this morning that yes, he's very angry with me, and that he doesn't want to write anymore today because he's afraid he will say something very hateful.

I know he thinks I'm being a controlling B**ch, but ladies, he has mentioned all of the following in the last week:
A new firearm ($1400 for the one he wants)
A new watch to be able to give to Josh someday (he has a Rolex he wants to give to Sam someday, so he thinks he should buy a Tag Heuer for Josh- I know, gimme a break)- at least $2K
Diamond earrings for me- 1K-2K (he said he doesn't want to go 'cheap')
Remodeling the house- at least 20K
Trip to Hawaii with Sam- (even at minimal $20 airfare, we're talking at least $500)
Train trip with Josh- $500
Trip to Southern CA- $1500 to 2500?
Weekend trip with me- $600


The clincher so you don't think he is RADICALLY insane is that a little birdie (AKA my mother) told me that we would be coming into an early inheritance when Bob comes back. I don't know the amount (although I have a guess) and I don't know when, but I told Bob about it. We could easily pay off the credit cards AND do all of the above, but it makes me angry that he's assuming so much....he keeps nudging me to ask my mom more about it and I'm like, no way. When it happens, it happens. If she told me it was going to happen, it will. My dad just does things on his own time and I have to respect that. My parents sold their CA home last August and already had their Oregon home paid for, so not to be braggy or anything, but they are pretty well off from the sale of their Bay Area home & the rest of their investments, etc.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....this whole separation thing SUCKS big time.

 

[zalansky]

Hillbeans - What brand of formula do you have Liam on? I ask because we have Cameryn on Enfamil Lipil and I find her to be very gassy at times and am considering the possibility of switching brands myself...though I know babies systems are immature and they get gassy alot anyway.

Alice28 - I can relate to your issue with your DH. Every time my DH has any extra $ (and he makes good bonuses at his work on a monthly and quarterly basis) - that $ burns holes in his pockets and he spends it on frivilous items. He bought me a Tag Heuer watch over the summer which was great of him and I love it but it was very un-necessary. He also just bought a car he has wanted for years in the Spring and is now talking about wanting another new car. It is very upsetting to me and I can understand where you are coming from!

Hope everyone had a great weekend.

 

[gwcollins71]

Oh Robin --

I cant imagine being in that situation with hubby or with either set of parents. We are actually the most financially stable out of both families (not counting hubby's bachelor brother) and we are living paycheck to paycheck, especially after Lily.

Hubby gets quarterly bonuses and he usually will buy a new toy. He's salivating over the new x box that's coming out. He won't spend more than 300/400 dollars. However, we usually use the bonus money to pay for furniture. Our house is a year old and we have very little of it. We are still using folding banquet tables and chairs when I have family over as well as both our youth dresser sets in our master bedroom. Its really sick (he's 37 & Im 34). We bought a used crib and dresser set for Lily so she has a nice set of furniture in her room.

We both had terrible spending habits too. I will give hubby credit though. As poor as our habits are (Ummmm, Disney) hubby is very careful to plan for our retirement. My parents have almost no money for it -- lie 50,000 in funds and thier house. My Dad retired last year and his SS is 600 a month. My Mom works full time and still brings home her salary.

Hubby's parents are even worse. They were forced to sell thier house a couple of years ago and bought a much smaller house out by us. They always had to have the best of everything. New furniture, yearly fancy vacations, mega jewelry, etc. Serious credit card use on a daily basis. They still haven't gotten Lily a gift other than a sleeper and an outfit since she's been born. However, they were on a cruise last spring. I'm a little miffed at that.

My parents spent $$ too, don't get me wrong. It was usually on something my sister and I wanted or random hobbies my family participates in. We never went on a real get on a plane vacation. Only drove to family's houses in the midwest. (I;m a little jealous of that )

On second thought, my Dad always had toys. He was a serious competative shooter when I was a kid. He was also into ham radios and then computers and now woodworking.

I look at both sets of parents now and I worry that we are going to become responsible for them and thier finances when we can barely carry our own. We want to keep putting away in our 401 Ks and my annuity. Hubby's is matched by his company so its like free money. Mine will be in addition to my pension.

I've rambled on, Im completely away from the point. I'm sorry your hubby is being unfair and stinky about the whole thing. He's probably just pipe dreaming a little bit. At least I'm crossing my fingers a little bit that he is.

On a bright note, at least he should be home in a few months and all this will be behind you. As I've said before, I don't know how you do it. The stress of being a single Mom would drive me to drink. God bless all of you.

Sorry I went off on a tangent.
Gretchen

Oh yeah, we went to get Lily's 3 month pics done at Wal mart on Saturday and had another wonderful experience. We had a 9 am appt. so we would be first and they wouldn't be backed up and the photographer never showed up. The store called the company that they subcontract with and no one was there by 10. Hubby has given the ok to try this Flash Foto place that you use. We will make a special trip up there to do the photos. Do you still have the coupons you were talking about. PM me if you can and we can talk details.

 

[Strawberry Lemonade]

Alice28 - Sorry I have no advice, but here's a hug. Maybe he's just too excited to be coming home, has all these plans, but once he is home he'll be happy enough to want to spend time close to home.

Our weekend trip was just awful. We left on Saturday and it was pouring rain the entire trip to upstate NY. We planned to stop at an outlet mall on our way to eat, feed and change Lucas, and do a little shopping, which we did, but only went in about 3 stores because of the rain. We got to DH's cousin's house a little later than we planned so they scrapped their plans for us. Lucas was extremely fussy that entire evening and woke up at 3am SCREAMING and feeling really gassy. To top it all off, we were staying in their 10 yr old DD's room and I don't want to sound snobby, but all I have to say is you'd think people would WASH the BED LINENS before company has to sleep on them. I'm glad I brought my own pillow at least. We had to keep the bedroom door open all night long to air out the room, the sheets and quilt were that bad. How do you say to someone "your kid's room stinks - you might want to wash the sheets every once in a while". Needless to say, we got no sleep that night then had to drive 3 hours back home. At least DH's cousin got to see his godson.

Hope everyone else had a GREAT weekend!! Next weekend will be better for us. We hope to take Lucas to the pumpkin patch and get a few pumpkins. I think he'll like it because he loves to stare at orange/yellow hued things.

 

[Hillbeans]

Zalansky - I've got Liam on regular Enfamil Lipil. I do remember that my older son was gassy as well, and the Doctor had us use the Enfamil Lower iron formula, but that one is harder to find anymore. I know a co-worker of mine who had a baby in June was using the Similac Low Iron formula, but I do tend to like the Enfamil brand. I hope Cameryn is able to get relief from the gas soon, I know it's tough seeing them in pain from gas bubbles.

SL - What a terrible weekend you had - poor thing! Maybe next time (if there is a next time) you can bring a tent and sleeping bags and sleep outside in the yard! Just kidding, but you may want to consider it. I really couldn't imagine having a guest over and not washing the sheets - yuck.

Gretchen - It's hard when you really sit down and go over your finances and get an idea of just how much retirement, college, and possibly taking care of your parents may cost. I was considering not going back to work when my Maternity leave is over, but housing, insurance, etc., in New Jersey is so expensive that if we want to pay our bills and go on a vacation every year, I really need to work - and to invest money into my 401K for retirement. We could get by if I stayed home, but it'd be tight with a family of 4.

Alice 28 - Hugs to you!

Hi to everyone else!

Things here are going along fine - MIL was in last week and she was a huge help. Today we're on our own! I'm trying to stretch out the feedings to be at least 2-2.5 hours but sometimes he just wants to eat sooner. Dh and I are trying to get our sleep when we can, but it's tough. Last night the baby went to "bed" at 10:15, woke at 1, 3:30, 5:30 and 7.....DH and I take shifts so at least every 3rd night, one of us gets a full night's sleep and we're off duty, so we've not been sleeping in the same bed, one of us sleeps downstairs on the couch with the baby in the bassinet. I'm going to aim to have Liam in his room in his crib at night at around 6 weeks. He's napping in his crib now so i'm trying to get him used to his room. I don't want my son to keep waking up every time the baby cries either (their rooms are right next to each other) so for now it's the best we can do.

I can't believe how good I feel 2 weeks and 2 days after giving birth...which of course MIL translates into "now I can have many more kids or try for a girl (NOT!).

 

[Alice28]

Yeah, I guess he's still pretty angry with me, as I haven't heard from him again. The bottom line with he and I is this, and please don't think I am being a jerk or assuming too much or bratty or whatever: I am an only child. He has one brother. Both of our parents are, ahem, millionaires. They aren't stinking filthy rich, but basically they made wise investment choices and owned real estate in the Bay Area- bought in the 60s and 70s (my in laws own 3 homes). I don't know if all of you know, but Bay Area homes are now ridiculously expensive. My parents paid 40K in '77 for the house I grew up in, and sold it last summer for 700K. And all three parents (my FIL died 4 years ago) have nursing home insurance. But that doesn't mean I think we should be go nutty with credit cards, etc just because "someday" we will be wealthy. Who the heck knows how long our parents are going to live, you know? I don't want them going ANYWHERE for at least the next 20 years.

I'm so sick of having credit card bills- I would love for the day to come where we just have one credit card balance, and it's something that say we can pay off month to month, or maybe take 2-3 months to pay it off (like a vacation or a piece of furniture). Our home is pretty small for our family size and right now we could not afford a bigger house payment because of what we have to pay on the credit bills....I hate that feeling. I know we're not alone, and we're not even wanting to move- our house may be small, but I'm telling you, we have some of the most supportive, nicest neighbors. It would take a lot for us to leave this...

We are making very wise investment choices for the kids' college funds. The boys' statements came the other day and they both have close to 10K each already. Dh and I are both vested in the state retirement system, although we need to be investing more in 401Ks and such, but I think that may have to wait a couple of years. My parents didn't aggresively start saving for retirement until their 40s and they did ok (although that was in the 90s when the stock market BOOMED). I need to open a fund (529) for Molly, but since DH did all that for the boys, I've just been waiting for him to come home and do it. A few months won't kill her.

And I don't think my husband is trying to be selfish or even is being any different than most soldiers when they come home. He can buy the gun; buy me some earrings , take a trip....but just all those little trips within a month or so sounds so impractical to me!

SL- I'm sorry your trip didn't go well. Again, why I do not want to drive 11-12 hours alone back from San Jose last year! Traveling any distance by car with a baby is a PITA in my opinion.

 

[justhat]

Alice28, sorry that you have to go through all this with your husband while he's away. My husband is pretty similar so I can relate. It's hard to deal with sometimes I know, and it's really the only source of tension for us too. He is usually a very thrifty (or cheap) person and never wants to spend money on anything, but then he'll go through these phases where he wants really expensive things. The problem is, since neither of us is employed at the moment, and we live on loans and borrowed money, big ticket items aren't really in our best interest right now. Most recently he has wanted to get satellite radio, which I could probably agree to get if he were actually in the car a lot or we lived in a rural area. But he's not, he often walks to the hospital, and when he's at an 'away' hospital he drives, but it's only about a 15 minute drive and we live in DC so there's no shortage of radio stations. He actually bought a satellite radio online, without telling me, and then we had to return it, which he was not happy about. I felt badly about it, but it really wasn't an expense we could handle right now, especially since you have to pay a monthly fee to use it.

The other big thing we're not really in agreement on is a 2 week transatlantic cruise my husband wants to take in May. He finishes classes the end of April and we're going to the Dominican Republic for a week with my mom. That trip is free for us since my mom has to go for work so she gets a free room and meals and she's going to cover our airfare. For me, that's plenty, but my husband wants to go on a 2 week cruise after that. I don't want to go for a few reasons, namely the cost, but also, we'll have just come back from a vacation (plus we're going to Hawaii next month and WDW in December), we have to move either in May or June so we'll need to be packing, etc., plus I really don't want to take Madison out of preschool for almost an entire month (the week in the Dominican Republic, the 2 weeks for the cruise, and then another week later in May when we go to New Orleans for my BIL's high school graduation). I'm not worried about what she'll miss not being in school, but just about how she'll handle being with mommy and daddy so long and then having to go back to school. She ends in early June so I don't want to finish out the year with tears everyday. I thought about leaving her at home if we went on the cruise, but it would mean some relative would have to take off 2 weeks from work, which really isn't an option, plus I don't feel comfortable going overseas without her, it's just too far for me. He also has to fly to many cities for interviews between November and January so those trips are added expenses too (some hospitals pay for his hotel, but we still have to pay for the flights, plus I am going with him to some so I can see if I want to live there or not so there's more expense). So as of now he booked the cruise with the understanding that we can cancel up till the end of February and I haven't really said it forcefully enough yet, but we'll be cancelling it.

The problem is that, like your husband Alice28, mine likes to plan out big trips and purchases, but does not like it when I tell him that they aren't feasible right now. He also seems to do the same thing as your husband when I suggest things too. His biggest complaint is how much I spend on Madison's clothing and decorations for our house, which are so trivial compared to the amounts he wants to spend!!

SL, that's too bad that you had to stay in a smelly room, especially with Lucas as I'm sure he's used to clean surroundings too. It's also too bad that they scrapped their plans for you. My cousins did that to us this summer and it was a little annoying. We were flying to Cleveland for their daughter's baptism because my husband was the godfather and our flight was delayed about 3 hours because of bad rain on both ends. We called to tell them we were delayed and they said "oh, okay, well we'll just eat without you then." Uh, thanks. Honestly, I can understand if they wanted to eat earlier than we were arriving (which ended up being around 7), but at least say something like "we'll keep your food warm." We were starving by the time we arrived, so we stopped at a Macaroni Grill on the way to their house from the airport (we were staying in a hotel though) and then they said "oh, we were gonna put food on for you". Too late to tell us then! But hopefully you had an otherwise good time visiting family!

 

[tkyes]

alice - i'm sorry you are going through all of this. my thought would just be to let dh daydream. he's probably just looking forward to coming home so much that he's enjoying making extravagent plans. when he gets home you'll have to sit down and talk finances and what's realistic for a family get away. i agree that getting rid of credit card debt should be at the top of your priority list. that stuff can weigh you down for years.

my mom took half a day off to go visit my grandma. she just picked tyler up to go with her. i'm going to vacuum the house quickly and then go run some errands. i'm so excited to run errands child free!

talk to you all later, have a good day.

tamie

 

[justhat]

Tykes, I just noticed that you're from Minnesota. We've never been there, but my husband has an interview at the Mayo Clinic in January so we're all going to check out the area over MLK weekend (his interview is 1/16). Do you live near there (Rochester) or know anything about the area? I'm really not a cold weather fan, but because it's such a great opportunity I'm willing to deal with the cold again for 3 years (we'd be there July 2007-July 2010). I say again like I've ever been in MN cold! But I'm from NJ and it gets pretty cold there, at least compared to DC. My husband's college roommate was from Golden Valley (which I think is outside Minneapolis, but he's currently living in Switzerland so we can't ask him much right now) and we'd compare stories about our winters growing up, and laugh at how Baltimore handled a few inches of snow (we went to college in Baltimore). Of course my husband is from New Orleans so he has no idea what he's in store for when he goes for his interview! Anyway, if you have any info about the area (or think you can sell me on living there for a few years!) please share.