The Official New Mom Thread Part 2

[gottalovethem]

Icebrat - Wow, sounds like you got her just in time. I can't believe the language, that is terrible, that poor child. Structure and discipline with lots of love. If you say no on something important don't cave in. She'll have to learn that certain words are just not allowed. She will understand you better than you might think. Those little minds are incredible. It sounds like she has had it really rough. It may be worth calling a family resource center in your area or a family therapist to find out some resources to help you get her and you adjust to the change.

The animals should adjust okay with Tess around. And she might have fun helping to feed or care for them. Even Leif helps to put dog food in Luna's bowl and enjoys that.

Love the room and decor! We have the same Dora sofa and it gets LOTS of use!!

Hugs and prayers your way. I'm glad the mother got off and out of the way. Hang in there.

Hillbeans - most of our playdates have been for me as much as for the kids, as I would chat with the parent while the kids played. We have had kids here too, and sometimes without the parent. Usually 1-2 hours is plenty, with a snack thrown in the middle. Good luck and have fun.

Robin - Leif gets that in his ears, I can actually use tweezers to take it out. Sorry it grosses you out!

Gems - sounds like you got a great package! We can't wait to meet Flumpy.

Hermosa- beautiful baby! Lots of phone calls and gifts in the mail -- and I LOVE the idea of a cleaning service and/or food gift certificates/Schwanns certificate. Congratulations and good luck.

nucpharm - hope you get everything done

Jill - you and your family travel safely and have a wonderful time!

lissawynn - glad a lot is getting done on the house!

SL - I hope you don't get sick.

Val - yeah on getting shopping done!

OK, gotta run. Hello to DIS moms!!

 

[cabmom]

Icebrat, yay for you having Tess now. The real challenge now is to get rid of her potty mouth. Stand firm with her, you are the parent now! If you can get it from your local library, 1 2 3 Magic is a good start for you. It's about 15 yrs old but the info still works!

Marilynn

 

[nucpharm29]

icebrat--wow, it's really evident now that Tess was really in a bad environment before. And, yeah, some of the behavior is just "normal 2 year old" stuff--biting, throwing tantrums--but the language is learned from the parents (or others using it around the kids) it's amazing what the kids pick up. Now that the mom is out of the picture, you and DP can do things your way. Stick to your guns when it's something you firmly believe it; kids even that young understand when sometimes no doesn't always mean no. But, on the other hand, try to not to fight on everything--choose your battles. I love the Love and Logic parenting series. They actually have a book designed for the battles with 2-6 year olds. It's a way of empowering the child-they take on most of the decision making when the outcome of the decision doesn't really matter. I also have heard great things about the 1-2-3 magic

Well, I gotta run and put Matthew down for a nap. DH and I have been trying to get dentist appt.s before the end of the year, so we don't have to pay our deductible again so soon--and 2 appt. just opened up for this afternoon. So, I've been calling getting mom to babysit and DH to take off of work--we'll have a date at the dentist!

 

[icebrat001]

She likes to play in sand.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

Good afternoon, all! I have most of the presents wrapped, and I was hoping to make more cookies this afternoon. Here's hoping that Luke sleeps...


icebrat--I'm not surprised at all that there's an adjustment period all around with Tess. Definitely you and DP need to be firm and consistent with her. You also need to pick your battles--maybe hold off on the "poo in the diaper" issue for a few weeks. And it's very common for a child to use the toilet for only #1, but not #2, for months. Celeste was like that, and I did a lot of laundry! Wal-Mart sells "Wee Sing" CD's, which my kids all love. It's children singing various kids' songs--there's a Bible version, Christmas version, and a few "silly" versions. The pets may be an issue for a few weeks, especially if they're not used to kids, and Tess might not be used to pets. Even with Luke, we take quiet moments and show him how to "pet kitty nice", and talk about how much we love the kitty. Of course, our cats are familiar with kids, but it just takes time, like everything.

Gina--Hope you're having a fabulous trip! I'm so jealous of everyone heading to WDW! At least in a couple weeks, I can say we're going "next year"!

SL--Sorry to hear you have the stomach bug in your house. Ick! I hope it clears out by Christmas.

Hermosa--Your DGD is just perfect! What a doll!

GLT--There's no way your XH is going to get custody. I doubt he even really wants it--does he have any idea, really, the kind of care the kids need daily? Please try not to stress on it. Keep yourself healthy.

Gems--Glad to hear that your gifts arrived and that you're doing well. Not long now until Flumpy puts in his appearance!

Hillary--I generally stuck around for playdates, or the mom stayed here. Depends on the age/familiarity of the children involved. 2 hours would probably be my max time--better to keep them wanting more, and keeping things positive. If the kids get tired or bored, it's gone too long.

Jill--Have a great time in WDW.

cabmom--Congrats on Dean walking! He's such a cutie. Boy, the baby days just fly by, don't they!

Tasha--loved the pageant pictures, and Kylie is SO photogenic! I'm not surprised you encountered a stage mom, it's never too soon to start, right? Celeste's preschool teacher told me she has parents who are complaining that their child isn't reading yet, and WTH are they doing in preschool (for a whopping 5 hours a week!)? It's just never too soon to start pushing your child, I guess.

Time to make cookies!

 

[llij]

Well ladies, we aren't leaving today after all.....


I got a call from the school to pick up Katie b/c she barfed. Poor thing seems to have a stomach bug that has been going around the school. Poor Katie! I spoke with my mom and my dad has been barfing today too. She thought it was something he ate, but I'm thinking he has a virus too. The last thing we should do is all pile into a car together and drive to Florida.

I'm not sure what we are going to do now. We could attempt to leave tomorrow if everyone is healthy and take our chances that the rest of us won't get sick or we can quit while we are ahead and cancel the trip.


Oh well......we'll know more later.

 

[dizagain]

Grouchy boy on my hands, but I just popped in to check on Tess!

icebrat - she is way too adorable!!! You will be able to get rid of the trashy talk, it just may take ALOT of patience. Pick those battles and she will learn through your love and example. You WILL lose it sometimes and that's ok, I promise. I am so glad the "mom" was in and out so quickly. Good luck and enjoy her nap - hope it's a nice long one! Oh and I love her room so far!

Ok guys I gotta go pick him up. We got the house on the market today and the realtor was pretty enthusiastic since our house is in good shape and clean. Houses are actually selling in our area since it's so far from the city and you can find decent housing and schools. If we can get out of it what we paid a year and a half ago we'll be satisfied.

Hi to everyone!!!!

 

[icebrat001]

I will look into those books ladies.

Question, how long as I supposed to let her nap for? I don't want her to stay up all night, , who am I kidding.

Should I wake her when she hits the 90 minute mark, 2 hours, 3, what? Totally clueless.

They need to create a book for people like me. Surely there has to be one, as most children that are adopting internationally do this and the kids are older.

If you ladies don't mind, can you take a look at this, do you recommend any of these boosters? http://www.toysrus.com/family/index.jsp?cp=2255981.2256180&categoryId=2256183&view=all

ETA:

Jill- Oh no Jill! I hope this is just some 24 hour bug and you can still go on your trip, can you cancel this late in the game? Speedy recovery vibes

ETA again:

Dizagain- Thanks for checking on us! I hope your house moves quickly and you get a fair amount of $$ Do you plan to leave the state or are you moving locally?

Lol another ETA: Diaper bags... Who has cute ones, besides Coach?

 

[lissawynn]

Hi all. I'm feeling like crap. I had about 7-8 students leave today due to illness. My stomach is not happy and I just want to go home and sleep. Instead I have to exchange end caps for our new radiators. I also have to get Jimmy and entertain him for the rest of the night.
Sorry for the continued whining, but I am so tired of being pregnant. Maybe things will be a little better when I'm no longer sleeping on the sofa.

icebrat - I agree that you and DP got this child just in the nick of time. My son will be 2 in January and he has no problem telling us what he does and does not want. He doesn't throw is food on the floor, but that's b/c I can usually sense a tantrum and get all of those things out of the way. He also doesn't curse, but my nephew went through a terrible phase when the only words he wanted to say were similar to what Tess says.
I think once she realizes that mom isn't coming back and that you all are her new parents, she'll get into a routine. She needs stability, patience, and lots of love. I know you have that to give to her.

I really need to go. I have to go home, find the other radiator stuff to exchange, and check on our contractor's progress. Did I mention he took Friday off? Yeah, like he has time to just take a day off. The last list of things for him to do looked something like this: insulate under the floor in 2 rooms, hang trim in all rooms, finish overhang outside, install attic pull down steps, finish steps to upstairs, and attatch all fixtures, cabinets, in bathroom. The plumbers need to return to finish the plumbing upstairs. I sure as heck hope Santa brings him some motivation for Christmas. I don't want to see him after in the New Year.

ETA - The carpet guy is coming on Thursday. We're going to hold off on carpeting the hallway until everything else is done upstairs. Also, I don't think we're going to carpet our steps until the family room is finished. No sense in destroying the carpet before we get to use it.

I'll try to check in later.

 

[nucpharm29]

Jill--OH NOOOOO!!!!!! In our house the bug lasted around 36hrs. Both kids only threw up twice, but they were almost 12hrs. apart. I know it's chance-y to get everyone in the van just to get vomit everywhere--but how awful to even think of cancelling! Anyway you could drive at night??? When most everyone tries to sleep?? Let us know what happens--sending lots of PD your way!

icebrat--tess is sooo cute! We go to the park all the time with Emma in dresses--she loves them and that's one battle I choose not to fight with her--unless it's a $50 dry clean only dress, she can pretty much wear whatever! As far as diaper bags, if you're willing to spend the money to get a coach one do it! A friend of mine had one and I drooled over it everytime we were together. Another friend of mine had a Kate Spade one, it was also really cute. But you could get by with a nice large leather bag, since there's not as much paraphenalia with a 2 year old versus a newborn--I got a pretty pink one, but had to go back to the diaper bag after the second baby came on the scene (that and DH wasn't to keen on toting a pink bag around ) I like the Healthy Care booster (the first one). We have friends that have it and I really liked the idea of the snap on cover for the tray. But that being said we have a travel one that we use all the time. It's made by "the first years" and has an inflatable seat--so we can deflate it and take it with us wherever we happen to be going. Naps..hmm..as Emma isn't a regular nap taker, if I can get her to nap, I let her go as long as she wants--normally around 1 1/2 hrs. But my baby sleeps 3 hrs. for his, so to each his own I suppose!

 

[Alice28]

Ice- Molly naps for 2-3 hours a day and she's 21 months old. My boys would also take 'power' naps when they were 2 & 3. At least a good solid 2 hours, usually closer to 3. It was my saving grace!

I like Lands End Diaper bags- they last forever and are easy to clean. And nice looking- not too flowery or patterny- just nice solid colors with good pockets and such.

Jill- Oh noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....I hope everyone is feeling better tomorrow and you can still get to WDW. You don't want to cancel the whole trip! Maybe today will give you a chance to catch your breath and little bit before you head to FL. At least since you booked through Shades they have a good cancellation policy.

Nuc- glad you and your DH ironed things out. DH & I had a 'moment' like that last week, but they always smooth out.

Diz- glad things went well with the realtor! Pixie dust for good money for your home!

Gems- YAY that the package arrived safely!I hope you like the outfits- you will have to model Flumpy in the small sized one when he arrives and show us a picture. Yes, I did get a small Gymboree fix for myself when I ordered it- it was fun picking out some baby boy stuff!

Alisa- I hope you are feeling better soon! This has been a tough pregnancy for you and I sympathize. When do you let out for Christmas break? Soon all the house stuff will be behind you...

Well, we just got back from a whirlwind trip to Chuck E Cheese to meet up with 2 of my longtime friends and their boys. 8 boys all together and Molly. We didn't stay too long as the kids go through the tokens so quickly! Now the boys are having fun defeating Kingdom Hearts 2 on their PS2. I need to rewrap a gift Molly got her hands on and then clean up. I did last night before I went to bed- I guess some gremlins hit my house or something.

 

[zalansky]

Hi ladies!

Jill - I am so sorry to hear about your family being sick and it delaying your trip! Sending PD your way for speedy recoveries!

GEMS - glad you liked the Gymbo order! We owe that to Robin, we knew we were in good hands with her doing the shopping there!

Icebrat - Great pics of the room and Tes. Had to make sure I spelled it right! I'd keep the name spelled Tess if you could! As for those boosters, we have the cooshie booster and I love it. The only problem with it is Connor gets in and out of the booster all the time (he doesn't use it much anymore though because he is almost 4) with there not being a tray or a belt on it, a child can easily get in and out of it. However, we can push him right up to the table so that is the best part, and it is comfy!

lissa - sorry you're not feeling well. Hope you feel better soon!

diz - good luck with the sale of your home! I hope it sells quickly with little effort at the price that's right!

tasha - loved the pageant pics too! Did Kylie win? I didn't read the post throughly as I should have.

nucpharm - I am wanting to try and get Cam off the paci soon too. Are you planning on having him go cold turkey? We did that with Connor but he was 2 1/2 years old when we did it so it was fairly easy. She is so into it, that I am nervous to try and do it now. But she needs to, her teeth pushed forward and the pedi keeps telling me her teeth are going to be awful!

Ok, i better run. Hi to everyone I missed! Hope you all are having a good day!

 

[DisKim]

GLT - You've got to be kidding me. Your DH didn't want to spend any time with the kids when you were married to him. Why in the hell would he want custody for goodness sake. As everyone else has said, he's just trying to make you miserable. Be confident. You will get those kids. He is guilty of neglecting you, mental cruelty, adultery. I'm no lawyer but I can't imagine a judge that would side with him.

icebrat - Tess is so adorable. I'm sure he bad words will be forgotten very soon. Are you and your DP permanently adopting her or are you fostering her?

Jill - Oh my goodness! I hope everything turns out okay and you can still go on your trip!

Robin - I almost laughed out loud when you said your DH was upset with how much you spent. You are SO GOOD! His hair would stand on end if he knew what I've spent. I just spent $200 on stuff for the stupid dog! That's one thing I can't handle. I would flip if DH questioned how I spend money. Actually, he probably should question it!

Well, I read all the posts but have pretty much forgotten what I read. I had a terrible day today. I went to my mom's with a migraine yesterday. The smell of cooking latkes didn't help. I was sick all night and still sick this morning. I almost called out but figured I'd see if I could make it through the day. When I got to work, I called DH to relay a few messages and found out that Emmy was having one of her fits and refusing to go to school. I had to try to convince her to go over the phone. Meanwhile, one of our new 20-something teachers who is having an affair with a married guidance counselor was in the room making copies and gave me a "look". I almost smacked her. The kids could sense that I was "off" this morning.

Hannukah was fun yesterday but I didn't feel good. Aidan got his Elmo from my aunt and uncle. He loved it!! It is really the cutest toy. Somehow, he gets up off the ground on his own. The adults really seemed to like him more than Aidan. My mom totally spoiled the kids. I told her not to. She doesn't have money. I don't understand why she does that. Well, I better get dinner going.

 

[Alice28]

Thank you ladies for your support on the Christmas gift thing! DH is so funny about that- he so does not care what I spend on myself, the house, food, even clothes for the kids, but he gets irritated with the amount of toys they have (and compared to a lot of folks I know, they are on the low end cause we are very good about selling on ebay or donating to goodwill every 6 months). I bought almost all the boys toys on the Hasbro.com site when they had 25% off entire purchase plus free shipping, so I saved about $20 per boy right there....I bought their PS2 games from TRU during their friends and family 30% off sale, so again, saved $15 off of $50. Saved $60 by using the TRU gift cards for the Miuchiz games....I was a little pissed at him for getting all noble about how they shouldn't receive so many gifts and I was like, "Geez.....they each got about $150 worth for less than $100 and I held back this year, so lay OFF!" He wasn't totally nagging me for what I spent per se, but that they get too much stuff, since my mom and his mom buy them another $150-200 worth of gifts (combined). Sometimes he can be a fart at Christmas....I think he just wants to make sure the kids are grateful for what they have, and sometimes it's hard for kids to do that when they get so much- like how our kids were the last 2 years.

ANYWAY, I wanted to tell you gals that my friends' nephew, who was born last week with the defects, is doing much better than they thought. He only needed the breathing tube for a day and then could do without it and he is attempting to nurse, which their older son could not do due to the palate issues. So that's terrific news! And they should be able to repair his cleft in a few months, whereas their older son was closer to a year I think. i did a little more research on the disease, and I guess people can live into adulthood, but need assistance throughout their lives, as most have mild to severe retardation. Their older son is starting to sign and stuff now to communicate, so that's awesome! It made me feel better that things are going well, or at least much better this time, for that couple.

Ice, that's incredible that you did so much skating when you were younger- what level of competition did you go up to? The house we were at the other night for DH's work party (his bosses house- a very nice house as I think he makes good money and his wife makes BANK)- anyway in their game room they had lots of autographed athletic pictures and goods like footballs, jerseys, bats, etc. They had a pair of Kristi Yamaguchi's skates and my DH, LOL LOL LOL, picked them up and was SNIFFING THEM to see if she really did skate in them or not!! OH MY GOD, I was DYING. Cause I wanted to do the same thing, but didn't dare! Anyway, she is my favorite, another Bay Area gal. Where did you do all your practices at? I love the pictures of Tes(s). She's cute! There must be books out there for adoptive/foster parents, but I have no idea which are good ones!

ETA- Fab- I don't really know any Spanish recipes - we're more Mexican food eaters here...

Hillbeans- playdates- usually I only have them with my friends, so it's no big deal if I stay; or they're with neighbors and we trade casually....I don't stay for those...just one day their kid(s) will come over here, and the next time my kids go over there. Usually it's 1-2 hours. Snack optional. The people at the end of the street have one little boy who is 7, and they are very nice about letting Sam and Josh play with him for HOURS at their house. I asked them several times, "are you sure" and they were like, "Heck yes! It keeps our son out of our hair! We should pay you for letting us keep your kids for so long! We get so much done when Sam and Josh come over, and they're good kids to boot, so we don't mind!"

OK, back to cleaning....

 

[Tasha+Scott]

Icebrat~ Tess is adorable! Now that she's yours, I think I would continue to spell her name Tess since that is how most people will probably end up spelling it anyway. The bad language doesn't surprise me considering her environment. Like others have said, it will take time and patience and discipline but she will know right from wrong before you know it! I always let Kylie nap until she wakes up. She only takes 1 nap and it is usually about 2 hours long on average, though it has been closer to 3 this week since we've been sick and on the go-go-go. Kylie is a Dora fanatic and has that Dora couch as well. She and our beagle fight over it! Seems the dog thinks it is a bed for her.

Robin~ You just reminded me that I need to go through Kylie's toys tomorrow while she is at daycare. She has a bunch that we plan to donate before she gets her new Christmas stash.

Loretta~ No, Kylie did not win but that's okay. I discovered I am not a very good stage mom as I didn't even think to storm off stage like the other mom who was irate that her child didn't win. We just had fun in general. I am not sure if we will do another one yet or not though as some people are way too into it for my taste. We'll see.

I meant to add some time back that we used to go to Lowry Park all the time when I was a kid. We also always went to Busch Gardens. I loved it there! My family lives in FL and we used to live there as well. My brother was in the NICU of Tampa General Hospital for the first several months of his life. Anyway, I just find it interesting when you talk about the stuff in Tampa and I actually know what you are talking about and have been there myself!

Jill~ How awful! I hope everyone is better soon! We had the stomach bug go around last week. It took about 48 hours for us all to be fully recovered. Here's hoping all of you will feel good enough to go on your trip tomorrow! I'd hate for you to have to cancel!

DisKim, lissawynn, and SL~ I'm sorry you guys are dealing with this bug too. It's going around everywhere! And, SL, how thoughtful of your sister to give it to your family. It seems she's been thoughtful that way several times in the past though (with different issues) if I remember correctly.

Hi Vald, Joats, GLT, J&D, Cabmom, Hillary, Tamie, Gems, and everyone else I am missing! I swear, I read the posts but my mind has already gone blank!

I am hoping that the worst of the bug has gone through Kylie's daycare by tomorrow so that she will not catch it again. It's been a full week since she's been so I am hoping it has made it throughout the building by now. I know they sent several kids home around the time we caught it.

I really wasn't planning to get on the computer today but I just don't feel like doing anything. I am hoping to get to bed early tonight so I can get tons done tomorrow after dropping Kylie off. Anyway, if I actually do what I need to do this week then this should be my last post till after Christmas. So Merry Christmas everyone! If you see me before then...well, then I guess I will have made it on Santa's Naughty list (which is where I tend to stay anyway! ) since I should be doing other things!

 

[llij]

It's official, I am now sick. Boy did that come on fast! Meagan is in tears b/c most likely we will have to cancel. We are just waiting for the rest of the crew to get this. I really hope that John will be spared, but I've been hugging and kissing him a lot lately so it doesn't look good.

I feel so rotten for looking at cancelling but I just can't see how we can leave tomorrow or the next day for that matter with 7 healthy people. If we don't leave by Wednesday then there would be no point in going. Ugh. The trip was the girls' gift.

I was speaking with a neighbor earlier (her son barfed right after Katie) and she said that this wild virus is really causing quite a problem with the schools. 200 kids were out sick last week at one of our neighbor schools and they brought people in to disinfect the school.

Well, I'm going to go lay down. Say a prayer that John doesn't get sick.

 

[floridafam]

jill,

I'm so sorry. I didn't realize the trip was their gift. Is there anything we can do to help??? Please let me know.

 

[Alice28]

Jill, I am so sad for you! That stinks.

 

[gottalovethem]

Jill - I hope everyone has a speedy recovery and you can still go. Cancelling the trip would be so hard. I hope you all get to go.

Icebrat - I need a booster too, one that has straps, so if you find out which to get, let me know!

Gotta check on dinner, hope to pop in later.

 

[zalansky]

Jill - Again I am sorry, but I wanted to tell you I had a virus last week that I woke up with on Friday morning and by Friday night I was barfing, but felt better by the following morning and by Saturday afternoon I was better enough to eat Chilis. I know there's lots of stuff going around but I am just telling you my story in case you've got something similar so you all may be able to leave Wednesday. I will keep my fingers crossed. BTW - I got it from Cameryn and she had the barfs a few days before me but she only got sick a few times like I did and then was much better. Good luck!