The Meanest Mother in the World--A L-B TR, 5/05 *DONE. p.65, with one last pic*

[kpk89]

Sher -- I am not bald and my arms are not hairy.

Java -- you will have fun. And I hear that the Christmas decor at the Lodge is spec-tack-yoo-ler

Twinmum -- Hoot? Are you an owl? Do you live in a forest? Sherwood Forest? I am beyond clueless!!

PeterPansMum -- Pepsi rules. Don't waste it on your monitor, silly.

Grammy -- It could be! But it WON't be! Because thanks to the avatar fairy I have a way better one.

Marita -- Thanks! Encouragement is appreciated very much.

cjhinch -- I'm sure you can request him. I don't know if he's still there, but definitely worth asking. Tell him we sent ya!

ead79 -- OMG that is too cute. I am honored.

Lisa Belle -- I'm very persuasive.

nicolemarie -- that is one of my favorite pictures of the trip because it's real. Not a goofy posed smile. And yes, I am pretty mean.

hucifer -- what part of that made you cry? Just wonderin'.

Cass -- my son would not care. He freely admits to "liking gross stuff". Don't ask.

Hope73 -- Me too -- such as it was. Keep a journal. Wee hee!!

Horsey -- luck of the draw? Maybe you Horseys look too refined.

corinnak -- oops. Am I breaking disboard tradition by giving stuff away about WCC? My bad, but I don't care. Just want to add a disclaimer -- your mileage may vary. Not all servers do the shtick. and some have laryngitis sometimes.

mikayla73 -- Yep! Good times. Very much fun.

magicmama -- are you an editor? Do you know one? Hook me up!

Poohbear77 -- at the time, Conor mostly knew makes and models. Now that he is able to read Car and Driver he also knows a looooooooot of other stuff too. Good to know he's not the only one!

cherokeemamma -- you have been here since the very very beginning. I feel blessed to have you still hanging out here.

grimgrinnin -- WOW!!! Has the baby been born yet? Be sure to come back and post a pic when she arrives. Piper Sidney. Wow. I wish I had thought of the anagram thing. Congrats on your impending baby. Definitely bring her over here, ok??



Friday night at the kpk household -- movie and wine! Have a great weekend everybody!!

 

[Cass]

Ummm... you forgot the next installment

 

[NewOrleansLady]

Excellent installment! Yall look like yall had a fantastic time at WCC. Unfortunately when my family and I went in May, we were seated in the back by the fireplace Oh well, I guess that just gives us one more reason to have to go back!

 

[hucifer]

Kimmie...I cried after laughing. I mean, you wanted this experience to be perfect for your Conor. And I was laughing so hard and realizing that it turned out as perfectly as you wanted it to be...and then it made me cry.

I guess I'm just hopelessly an emotional person! Especially when it comes to children and WDW.

 

[kpk89]

You are too sweet miss Wendy. It was a very fun day; I'm glad that it worked out the way it did.

 

[HaleyB]

Loved the birthday report, sounded like fun.
Actually sounds like dinner at my house any time my brothers are around.

I guess I better get a move on with my trippie if I don't want to be DED last to finish.

Well I think I may still beat Hucifer...

 

[katiesmomluvsdizne]

too funny!!
Sounds and looks like you ALL had a great time! Those pics of WCC are making me reconsider DD birthday dinner. It is actually her BD today, but we told her we would celebrate one day at WDW. I originally picked OHanas, but now I am thinking WCC. We have ADRs for both (lucky us), so it will be easy to do. My DD will just fall over laughing at this place and since she is celebrating #9, this may be the way to go.
Thanks again for the wonderful details and AWESOME writing. I laugh so hard when I read these. Now off to write a paper that is due tomorrow, if only I could laugh outloud while reading my research, oh well.

 

[KarenP99]

How many minutes from this point until the next installment?

You've got 2 weeks, TWO WEEKS get crackin.

 

[AshClan]

I am so behind. I can't believe I just read this last installment. LOVE, LOVE, LOVED it!! Conor's birthday celebration sounds like it just couldn't have been any more fun. And Bless You for having the self-confidence and/or lack of vanity to post those crown pictures. Although, actually, the one of you and Doug is really cute! The kids all looked so happy and giggly. The best way for kids to be!!!

I have heard that the WCC is toning things down because a lot of people didn't like all the hoopla. I hope that's not true, but want to make sure others here don't get disappointed. So, fellow Mean Mama Fans, if you are planning a trip to WCC with the hope of recreating this par-tay, you may want to make a phone call to check it out first!

Just a little over two weeks BABY!!!! (Karen is right, you'd better hustle.....)

 

[Cass]

.
.
.
.
.

 

[luciloo]

Cass is making angry faces again, please, please could we have some more report

 

[kpk89]

We skipped on back to the Magic Kingdom, via a boat ride directly to the entrance. If you are playing at the Magic Kingdom, I highly recommend a midday break at the Wilderness Lodge. Go for lunch at Whispering Canyon, or even just get a “grab and go” lunch at Roaring Forks and eat outside and take in the scenery. I would guess that this escape strategy is especially satisfying during the more crowded times. For us, it seemed an extension of our day, a part of the Magic Kingdom, not an ordeal of “we’re LEAVING the PARK!” And since we got to take a boat ride, that counted as a ride. To the kids.

First stop was to let Conor spend his birthday money. He’s not a saver, my boy. He might actually be allergic to the ink they print money with, because it truly seems as though he can’t bear to hold onto it. So he bought a water spray bottle battery operated fan mister thingy. Seventeen dollars, plus tax, I think. Whoo boy! Had it not been his birthday, I might have tried to convince him to carry a wet washcloth to cool himself with and save his dough. But the biggest gift he could get was choosing what to do with the moola. So I shut it.

We proceeded to Tomorrowland, got FastPasses for Space Mountain, and took a spin on Buzz Lightyear. Actually first we met Buzz Lightyear. Conor thanked him profusely for the balloons. Twice. Since that’s how many times Buzz had sent him balloons.

To infinity, or at least the Space Ranger Spin, and beyond. Piper and Doug took one space buggy, and Conor, Syd and I followed them.

VOICE OF CONOR, who is actually reading this over my shoulder, and has this to share about Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Spin. “The dumb thing about that ride is that you have to get into your car while it’s moving. Which is quite a problem for old people.”

Lest we dwell on the negative, he also has this to add, “The best thing is that at the end you can see your pictures and there’s a jail with Zurg in it. If you’re skinny enough you can actually get in there with him. Piper and I were able to.” I have suggested that he write his OWN trip report. And leave mine alone. He is now trying to come up with a DISname that suits him.

We had a somewhat flawed system for ridding the galaxy of its Evil Emperor. This flawed system involved letting an overexcited brand new six year old space ranger operate the laser, and the two year old sister be in control of the buggy-spinning apparatus. Somehow their efforts never quite coordinated. So the Evil Emperor remains, to be eradicated by another, more vicious and organized family on another day.

And we did get to sneak into Zurg’s cell to taunt him a bit.

Those of us who were skinny enough, that is.

I wasn’t, TFI.

Our fastpass time for Space Mountain had not yet arrived. So we wandered a bit. Toward the Indy Speedway. Or whatever it is called.

We were sidetracked by trash talking.

Or a talking trashcan, rather.

We met PUSH.

He noticed Conor’s birthday button. And sang Happy Birthday to him.

I am here to tell you, that nothing makes a birthday complete like having a trashcan sing to you.

Conor thanked his new friend, with a big hug.

Awwwwwww.

The same trashcan made my daughter cry.

It was a miscommunication, really. PUSH was talking to somebody else. A little boy. Piper thought that he was talking to her.

She turned to me, looking up with her little chubby cheeks trembling and her big eyes full of tears, trying to hold herself together.

She couldn’t.

“He called me a BOYYYYYYYY!” she moaned.

Luckily, she really wanted to play. Enough so that when I explained that she did NOT look like a boy, and that PUSH was talking to somebody else, she believed me. Well, she should. It was truth. PUSH made amends. My girl was happy.

I am also here to tell you, that a talking trashcan creates an emotional rollercoaster of sorts. For some people.

And that for the rest of the trip, my kids TOUCHED every trashcan we passed. Pushed the flap. Hallooooooed for their new best bud. Getting their MOUTHS frighteningly close to the trashcan.

Thanks for that, Disney.

 

[mikayla73]

The trash can is great! The first time I saw it, I was like what are all these people doing gathered around a trash can?!?! Then I saw it move

Great installment!

 

[NewOrleansLady]

You are just too funny. As they say, " I busted a gut laughing so hard!" Don't ask me who "they" are, I just know that's what they say

 

[HaleyB]

VOICE OF CONOR, who is actually reading this over my shoulder, and has this to share about Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Spin. “The dumb thing about that ride is that you have to get into your car while it’s moving. Which is quite a problem for old people.”

Lest we dwell on the negative, he also has this to add, “The best thing is that at the end you can see your pictures and there’s a jail with Zurg in it. If you’re skinny enough you can actually get in there with him. Piper and I were able to.” I have suggested that he write his OWN trip report. And leave mine alone. He is now trying to come up with a DISname that suits him.

I am DED now. Too funny. Also a good idea.

And that for the rest of the trip, my kids TOUCHED every trashcan we passed. Pushed the flap. Hallooooooed for their new best bud. Getting their MOUTHS frighteningly close to the trashcan.

Thanks for that, Disney.

Disney trash is clean and germ free. Also it never smells bad.

 

[kpk89]

Let’s see, Tomorrowland.

Buzz Lightyear, check.

Space Mountain, fastpassed. Return later.

Dancing with a trash can, check.

Stitch, skip.

What else to do?

Racecars!



((thoughtful pause))



Why are racecars in Tomorrowland?

Combustion engine, pollution-creating, noisy racecars?

THIS is the wave of the future?

Even in 1971 I don’t think these cars could have been considered high-tech or futuristic. Or in 2005, when this trip took place. Benember?

Maybe it’s the size. Or the actual racetrack. Maybe they are they entertainment of the future.

In the future, since everyone will travel via personal jetpacks powered by an endlessly renewable and clean and cheap energy source, a great source of amusement will be to drive old fashioned little cars slowly in a circle and breathe in the delicious aroma of carbon monoxide and other noxious gases.

Kind of a time paradox, wouldn't you say? They are in Tomorrowland because in the future they will be old fashioned. It's the only explanation I could could come up with.

Where’s my jetpack? That’s all I want to know.

Anyway. Doug and Conor, of course, were IN for the Tomorrowland Indy Speedway. Is that what it’s called? I know it used to be called something else. Or it used to be called that and is now called something else. Whatever, you know what I’m talking about. The little cars.

Piper, perhaps still in a bit of a twist about being mistaken for a boy, by a trash can no less, did not want any part of it. Sydney was too little to know or care. So the boys got in line, and we scoped out a spot to watch them from the shade and try to get pictures of them.

The theming of this (not) futuristic ride is fabulous. The only shady viewing spot is, in fact, the smoking area. So even the spectators get to breathe noxious fumes.

The boys waited in the hot sun for about a half hour.

We girls waited in the shade, breathing cancerous air, for the same half hour.

The moment the boys went putt-putting past us, to begin their exciting victory lap, Piper decided that it looked like fun.

The meanest mother in me wanted to tell her, “Too late, Irma. The ship has sailed. Move on.” Because I could give a hoot about driving the Indy cars, and I seriously would rather stand here in the shade breathing secondhand smoke than stand in the hot sun for a half hour to breathe racecar exhaust.

The meanest mother’s powers had apparently been weakened by that taaaaaaaaaalll margarita. Because I said, “Okay, let’s go get in line.”

This was another of those moments that inspired me to be thankful for the invention of the cell phone. I called Doug to let him know that we had just gotten in line. They were just exiting the ride. I instructed him to get some photos.

He took some, just of the wrong car. With not us in it. Oh well.

Piper informed me that she was “so not a good driver.” I would have to agree. Thank goodness for the metal track thingie that prevented us careening into our fellow motorists. I’ll cut her some slack, though, considering she was four years old.

Meanwhile Doug and Conor had taken the opportunity to get ice cream. Instead of standing in the shade breathing noxious fumes. Huh. I have to give them points for that. I think that’s why we don’t have a picture of us girls driving the cars of the future past. Because they just snapped a picture of the first female crew they saw, and beat feet for an ice cream cart. Huh. Feeling a little silly now, placing getting a photo of my boys driving a car of the future past over procuring a Mickey bar. Duh! (shhhh! Don’t tell!)

So to recap our first 90 minutes back at MK. Space fastpasses, the real Buzz, the Buzz ride, trash can lovin’, the Indy Speedway. The speedway took up approximately 67 minutes of that time. But now it’s over with. And we got to use cell phones, which is probably the most futuristic part of that whole ride.

Next up, the Meanest Mother subjects her crew to a frustrating, nearly impossible task: Fantasyland in the middle, most crowded part of the day. Bwa ha hahahahahaaaaaaaaa!

 

[Grammyof2]

Kimmie - I was getting ready to respond to the last installment and you put up another. The race is on!!!!

About fitting between the bars I have a fear everytime I go down one of those tube slides with my babies, of getting stuck. Of the fire department coming, and the news crew, with film at 11. Of my dangling feet hanging out, stuck firmly in the middle, while they take apart the slide

 

[sheridac]

Lest we dwell on the negative, he also has this to add, “The best thing is that at the end you can see your pictures and there’s a jail with Zurg in it. If you’re skinny enough you can actually get in there with him. Piper and I were able to.” I have suggested that he write his OWN trip report. And leave mine alone. He is now trying to come up with a DISname that suits him.

Hahahaha!!!! Oh, Kimmie!!!! I am soooooooo sure you were skinny enough too!!!!

“He called me a BOYYYYYYYY!” she moaned.

WHAT??!!!!! Oh, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He took some, just of the wrong car. With not us in it. Oh well.

 

[corinnak]

A double dip! Thanks Kimmie!

Poor Piper - I can see where it would be traumatic to be mistakenly mistaken for a boy by a talking trashcan.

I think they made a lame gesture at making the race cars 'futuristic" by a lamely themed commentary track that you can sometimes hear. Evidently the racers are from various different planets, according to this commentary. Yes, the thing that places the racecars in future world is an old fashioned commentator declaring that YOU are from Venus! I think they just wanted little cars and they were going to do whatever they had do to to cram them in somewhere into the themes of the MK. They need to replace those puppies with hybrid mini race cars or electric mini-race cars (which would surely go at least as fast as those gas guzzlers) or Segways or.....something. My kids were inescapably, undeniably drawn to that ride too. I really wasn't.

I am looking forward to hearing about what toontown is like in the middle of the day!

 

[kpk89]

A double dip! Thanks Kimmie!



I am looking forward to hearing about what toontown is like in the middle of the day!

Fantasyland. I have a little secret for you.


















We didn't even go to Toontown on this trip! ((gasp!!))

About fitting between the bars I have a fear everytime I go down one of those tube slides with my babies, of getting stuck. Of the fire department coming, and the news crew, with film at 11. Of my dangling feet hanging out, stuck firmly in the middle, while they take apart the slide

OH Grammy, me too!!!!! We are twins!!!

Hahahaha!!!! Oh, Kimmie!!!! I am soooooooo sure you were skinny enough too!!!!

Actually, you're right. I did put my left foot in there.
Took my left foot out.
Put my left foot in.




Then I stamped my feet and swore that I was going on a diet. AFTER we got home.