April 14, 2010
Day 4, Part 4 In Which Bats Flash Us and Tigers Kiss
Our next stop was the Maharajah Jungle Trek. I was ready to get my hands on some tigers! Well... not literally. I WISH. Just a sidenote. I DID hold a tiger once. At a big mall in North Carolina (that was carpeted... WEIRD) they had a teenage(?) (it looked like Simba when they show him growing up with Timon and Pumbaa and he isn't a cub but isn't full grown either) tiger. Now do not ask me how the heck this was legal but you could hold this tiger and take a picture with it. At my naive age of 12, I did not realize this, I thought it was just a nice tiger, but now I know that it had to be drugged. I mean even in the polaroid they took of us, it's just kind of laying there on me all sad. Nowadays I would never pay money for something like that and support using animals as props in that way but I didn't know back then. Sad. Wow Lia, way to bring this down right away.
I know. Best trip report you have ever read. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT!
Let's see here...A HA!
You're welcome. Again.
OK!! BACK TO THE MAGIC THAT IS WALT DISNEY WORLD'S ANIMAL KINGDOM!
On my solo 2008 trip, I spent about 78 hours here observing the tigers and bats. Omg, I fell in love with bats on that trip. I just love them. They are adorable little bears with wings, you guys.
We met this dragon:
He was not amused.
This is definitely one of the most beautiful areas of Disney World as far as greenery is concerned.
I love this:
I'm just so jealous that there are real life adventurers in the jungles of Asia right now coming across real signs like this. I mean, I would be terrified beyond reason, but who cares? We all have to die one day and mauled by a tiger is a cool story. I mean not that I want to be. But I think it would be worth the risk. But I really am terrified of the jungle. Just because of the spiders alone. It makes me think of the scene in Arachnophobia where they put those baskets on the ground and freeze the tree so all the tarantulas fall out and they can see if there is a new species. I MEAN WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING ACTUAL F ARE THESE PEOPLE THINKING THAT GO TO THE JUNGLE!!!!?!?!! WELL... They want adventure. And so do I. So hopefully one day I will see one of these signs for real. Until then, I maintain that one of the best reasons to go to Disney World is to safely experience things you otherwise would never get to. This is the closest to the experience of trekking through the jungle and running into tigers that I will probably ever get, and yeah, I know it's not real, but... the plants are real. The path is marked. THE TIGERS ARE REAL. So I can suspend my disbelief and say, Yes, I am entering the Asian jungles. Ahhhh, Disney.
YAY TIME FOR THE BATS OMG
I love them so.
This reminds me of Dracula. Speaking of Dracula, does anyone else remember that weird 70's Halloween special, "The Halloween That Almost Wasn't" or something? Where all that witch wants is for Dracula to take her disco dancing and then she'll allow Halloween to happen?? God, why did I have to miss the 70's? What a fantastic premise. I think now when guys hit on me I will be like YOU NEED TO TAKE ME DISCO DANCING AND THAT IS THAT OR ELSE THIS KITCHEN IS CLOSED.
But... I digress.
How badly do you guys want a bat? Not so much? Well I do. I would pet him and welcome him to land on my shoulder. He wouldn't bite me because of course I would get a nice bat. He would adore me and would be worth having just so I could freak people out by having a special call that I could call out. I would just be talking to a person normally and then I would make this odd noise which would be startling to them. And then my bat would come out of NOWHERE and land on my shoulder. It would be very poised and we would just stare at the person until they ran away out of fear.
Now that is a plan.
ANYWAY. I don't know if I am allowed to say, here on the DIS, the word that starts with a P and identifies male private parts. All I can say is that if you would like to see one, go to Animal Kingdom. That would be quite a tagline for the parks, wouldn't it? "ANIMAL KINGDOM:The place to be for male private part viewing from 9am - 6pm. Arrive early to ensure a clear view."
This would bring the crowds in like wildfire.
But of course I am not talking about HUMAN males. Whew. No. But the bats, you know. They just don't care. Being an animal is great because you don't have to wear any clothes and you can poop anywhere and no one says anything. On my 2008 trip I took many pictures of the bats and their pieces. When I told people about my amazing and crazy Disney trip, which included many great adventures, EVERYONE was most excited about this. BRING OUT THE BAT PRIVATES!! They would say. Well, okay.
My mom, like everyone else, was fascinated by this and so she was disappointed when we got to the bats and their thingies were not on display. I was like, HELLO. There are still LIVE ASIAN BATS. Right in front of you. Who cares if they aren't... popping out? They're still amazing!!
I could seriously stare at this picture alone for like a day. I JUST LOVE THEM.
I don't know what that yellow umbrella-y thing is but I imagined a bunch of bats hiding under there and then suddenly FLYING out and attacking guests. My point is I watch too many horror movies.
We stood for awhile, admiring and discussing the bats. It's funny how even though I was dying to see the tigers, the bats captivate me too, and so I just wasn't in any rush. I love when one of them flies to another prayer flag line thingie. It's exciting and a bit scary because my brain instantly goes to IT HAS SPOTTED ME IT IS AFTER ME SOMEONE HELP. I don't know how they stop the bats from coming through and flying to where the people are, which is weird cause that's usually the kind of Disney trick I'm in on! My mom kept asking and asking, but I genuinely don't know.
Soon enough, as if they knew I was back, the bats whipped 'em out. Is this in any way appropriate for this FAMILY board? I don't know. They are just bats. Doin' their THANG. It's natural. But not for ages 18 and under. I guess. DISCLAIMER.
OK OK I know your eyes go right to the bat privates but do me a favor and look at the bat on the left. It's little feet hanging on the vine that look JUST LIKE OUR HANDS!!! I mean come on. I am fascinated. Ok onto the rest of the genatalia.
Again the dude on the left... just look at their body structure and how it's so much like ours! Oh and see how our friend on the right is reaching up at his piece? They kept licking at themselves and such. As they say... because he can.
I love all of the ones hanging in the distance.
Heh. Heh. Heh. Hey Beavis. I can see that dude's thing. Heh. Heh Heh. Yeah. You can like, totally see it. Heh. Heh Heh.
Sorry, i'm 12.
Next.
There was this python in a tank. I feel bad that the snakes can't roam free like everything else but I mean they still get to live at Disney World and I do not so what can I say? He took a long time to spot. This is all we could see of him, but I still found it pretty cool:
In a tank next to him was this yittle turtle!!! I couldn't get a good picture, him swimmin' too fast!
How exciting this would be for Alexis of Jon & Kate Plus 8. Yeah I am going there. Does anyone remember that episode? Best episode ever. THAT TURTLE'S YOOKIN AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Him a yittle guy. Him a baby!!!!!!!!
Sigh. I want kids. But we can discuss that later.
The bat room is just really cool. I love to take the time and read the posters and things.
If Batman's bat cave was decorated this way, he would have solved more crimes, just saying. I mean, he did okay, but Joe Rhode wasn't in his life and that is no way to live.
Outside of the bat room:
TIGER TIME OMG!!!!!!
CONTINUED IN NEXT POST