~ The Man Report ~ ~ Audible Grunts & the Crowd Clearing Device ~
Ok, heres the deal.
You have
GOT to make the rope drop every morning. Quit laughing, Im serious.
The rule is: If youre there longer than a week, youre allowed one day to sleep in.
If youre there longer than two weeks, you need to realign your priorities.
Day 1, Park 1
Epcot Baby!
Its Monday, Oct 8th, which is a holiday of some sort. Not sure what, but a CM tells me they expect a crowd level of 8 today. Could be Canadian Thanksgiving.
We wake up at
precisely 7:49 a.m. to my alarm clock. Remember, were off-site until Friday so we dont get the Mickey wake up call.
I jump up and start sounding the bugle. Charge!!!!!!!

irate:
The first thing I do is stumble over my flip flops while heading to the bathroom, crack my toe into the corner of the door jamb, and let out an expletive: Rat-Fart!!!
I do my thing in the bathroom, jump in the shower, towel off, and groom my thick crop of hair.
Im ready!!

Time to survey the progress of my men.
Lins still in bed, Moan Boys on the outside balcony, and theres no sign of Loud Girl anywhere.
It doesnt look good.
Lets Go Troops!!!
Were burnin daylight!!
Lin finally makes a barely audible grunt, then rolls off the side of the bed and onto her feet.
I find Loud Girl in the kitchen gnawing on an uncooked Pop-Tart, fully dressed, with the backpack on. Shes ready to go.
I nod my approval.
I go out on the deck and give MB a kick in the butt to get him fired up. He heads towards him room to get dressed.
I hear LtP brushing her tooth in our bathroom so Ive got two ready, and two almost ready. I look at my watch: Its 8:10 a.m.
Were on time.
I nod my approval.
I open the fridge and get me a hunk of salami and wrap it around some string cheese. Breakfast.
By 8:25, the crew is ready. Weve got our backpack w/ water & supplies, and head out the door to our rental car.
In our family, Loud Girl picks the rental car. This year she chose a maroon Toyota Highlander. Looked fine to me.
Only problem was the sun roof was busted and wouldnt shut. No sign of rain. No problem.
I imagine getting to Epcot from Cypress will take 20 minutes. It takes less than 10. Uh oh. Timing is now off. Not good with handicapped son. He can make a 10 minute wait at the turnstiles seem like an hour.
Well have to walk slooooowwww
Theres a small gauntlet near security which I expertly navigate.
We go in thru the turnstiles, over to the stroller rental, and purchase 11 days worth of usage. $144!!!!! Yikes!! Not even a kiss!
Ok, ok. No time to brood. Off to the rope-drop.
My stroller is now a dual use vehicle.
Use 1 Transport Children with ease
Use 2 Weapon and Crowd Clearing Device
Even though theres a crowd at the rope, Im able to drive a wedge thru the throng and get us right up next to the rope.
I nod my approval.
Lins embarrassed for some reason. Im oblivious and enjoying the pre-opening entertainment.
As the rope drops, my eyes glaze over with a sort of film you might see in a wounded badger protecting her young.
My knuckles whiten on the grips of the stroller as I steer us towards Test Track and
up & over what I think might have been a small child.
Im now in a frenzied state as competition seethes through my O positive blood. Must
. Be
First
Yes, I clipped a few Achilles tendons. Maybe ran over a child or squirrel. And most definitely garnered disapproving frowns from various CMs.
Im the guy you love to hate.
Due to
not allowing us to run and having to wait on the children to dismount the stroller, we arrive at Test Track in about 15th place. But first among all stroller laden families.
I nod my approval.
We enter the attraction with great haste and anticipation.
Next Up: Brandishing a blade, Marie from Aristocats takes a swipe at me.
A few pix:
Hmm
looks busy over there
must GAT to another line
Ahh
Much Better
Hurry Up You Rubes!!
mmmm
Giant Cheese